Religious Abuse
Added 2024-04-10 14:00:08 +0000 UTCDr Kirk Honda interviews Dan Koch (from the You Have Permission Podcast) about his new psychometric survey that measures religious abuse.
00:00 Introducing Dan Koch & liberal christianity
12:51 How do some fall victim to the culture war?
25:10 What is spiritual abuse?
29:14 Koch's Spiritual Harm & Abuse Scale criteria
49:24 Upholding the status quo & masculinity
1:11:13 Christianity & choice
1:23:36 Where to find Dan
1:26:09 Christian YouTube discourse
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April 10, 2024
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®
Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
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Comments
I was raised to follow the religion of islam and I remember in elementary school a teacher played this video of noises people claimed they heard coming from a grave. The noises were of people who sounded like they were being tortured in their grave or after life or whatever and it was terrifying as kids. I think religious trauma is something I need to dig into, I have been avoiding for years because I feel this existential anger towards god/s, religions, and life. Thank you for this episode.
G
2024-04-26 01:23:14 +0000 UTCI was raised Catholic and immediately felt the deep disconnect for me personally. Very young like elementary. I had an abusive ex (all things with that death specifically), plus the underlying anxiety and depression I had always experienced. I recently had an experience that connected me to my higher power (not relevant to this), I mean it when I say I felt a shift and it woke me up. So I have my own belief system and after all the searching, I now know my inner peace. Your podcast has gotten me thru that particular time period and you remain. I get so much from all the collective and special OG Patreon! It’s incredibly humbling to me that this particular one spoke to me Loud and I’m going to look this guy up right now. Thank you for everything you’ve given for me to have such grace in my words! ✌🏻💕
Megan
2024-04-15 02:14:04 +0000 UTCIt would seem to me that any system that distinguishes between people who have privilege to higher truth/God/morality and other people who don't is inherently predisposed to abuse. As well as being quite arrogant, and an insult to the idea that human beings are equal in our critical thinking and moral capacities. Not only that, but it lets the followers wash their hands of any moral responsibility, critical thinking or judgment, since they just need to follow the person who knows truth and morality better than them. And when this happens, people are willing to commit the worst atrocities in history.
Teo
2024-04-14 01:49:27 +0000 UTCHi Eliza, I recommend reading “when religion hurts you.” As someone who suffered pretty severe religious abuse myself, it really helped me close that chapter of my life and begin the healing process.
B
2024-04-11 20:59:04 +0000 UTCI agree. I think the ultimate goal is to dismantle most of the gender dogma. But, I can also see that's it's been around forever and is very ingrained and meaningful. For young people coming to grips with their identity, they are still being taught that they are men or women. Therefore, I think it's worthwhile to sift through what can be healthy vs toxic masculinity. The crucial part is to critically examine gender roles, and then you can choose to adopt some or none. If we don't do that and we just say toxic masculinity is BS, a lot of young men are hearing "you are BS". Having said that, for me and in my family we choose to consciously undermine a lot of the gender stereotypes. When Kirk recently discussed how he pays for dinner with him and Stacey's joint money, husband and I do the opposite. This was bourne out of my frustration with how the servers would always hand the cheque to my husband.
Emma Regan
2024-04-11 07:13:41 +0000 UTCI cannot wait to listen to this because Dan is the reason I found you two years ago when I was first becoming a therapist!! Big win for Seattleites!
Sheridan
2024-04-11 05:35:28 +0000 UTCThis episode made me so happy. It’s so frustrating hearing how religion is handled in the therapy world. Yes religion can certainly be harmful and has caused harm but it can also be a source of healing
Rickele
2024-04-10 21:37:09 +0000 UTCI disagree about upholding positive masculinity as being "for the net good of feminism" -- I think what we, as a society, need to do is dismantle the (seemingly impossible to imagine otherwise for cishet people) structure of gender roles in the first place. The LGBTQ community, out of necessity, has already done a lot of this. Thinking in terms of a rigid gender binary is already a trap. Traits that Kirk describes as positive masculinity are just kind things for humans to do
shirley
2024-04-10 17:02:52 +0000 UTCThis topic hits really close to home. I think that most of my religious trauma comes from the fear of losing people. I am part a very strict religion (Jehovah's Witness) and if you get cast out, everyone you know in the religion cannot be friends or have any type of meaningful relationship with you. I remember when I came out to my father as a lesbian, he cried and told me that I could change. A couple of days later, he told me that if I ever chose to have a female partner, then he wouldn't want to have any sort of interaction with me. A couple of months ago, one of my friends that I have know since I was born distanced herself from me because I cut my hair short (a fade) and even called me a "contaminating influence." I am still part of the religion and there are some aspects that I like about it, but mostly, I'm just too afraid to leave. Also on fear, when I was a kid my father used to tell me that Satan could be watching me or standing in my room (JWs don't believe in hell but that Satan and demons are on earth with humans in invisible form). So I used to be absolutely terrified to go to sleep every night because I thought satan was in the corner of my room
Kenzie
2024-04-10 16:45:38 +0000 UTCI’m an ex-wife of a minister, and I experience a pretty acute stress response when I try to go to a service. Listening to this made me realize what a deep loss of community and of a context where I could tune into my deepest values that betrayal/humiliation situation led to. I’ve never thought of exploring my experiences from a religious abuse lens — I’d love to know about resources that could be helpful. Also, there’s a documentary called “Hellhouse” that came out some years ago about those eternal damnation haunted houses. It’s wild — the fierce competition over who would be cast as the “abortion girl” was memorable. I feel like Kirk and Berto would have some interesting conversations about that.
Eliza Rowley
2024-04-10 16:28:56 +0000 UTCI grew up in a pretty fundamentalist family. In 2019 I began deconstructing religion, and was helped along through Psychology in Seattle and being exposed to other ideas and views of the world! I'm really grateful! 🙂
M Lyman
2024-04-10 15:59:59 +0000 UTCThe commentary about the guy who is claimed to have died as a result of being unvaccinated - and the precedent statement about trump and his craziness is odd. If I recall correctly Trump is the “warp speed” vaccination developer fountainhead . I am neither a trump fan nor have I received the Covid vaccine yet (though I intend to as indications of the NEW vaccine is proving to be fine) but I find it weird to allude to a person as being somewhat crazy for not getting a brand new vaccine promoted by a person who is clearly despised by the speaker.
SojoLife
2024-04-10 15:00:14 +0000 UTC
