update: i have a dizzy head

TL;DR: i'm taking a very brief break for my health. very brief. like a couple days max or i'll go insane. i scheduled some posts, so my socials will be updated like normal.

no clue what's going on with me, but for the last few days, i really havent felt like myself.

yesterday i realized i've been taking painkillers regularly. it's probably been about 4 days straight. its typical for me to get headaches, i have a really sensitive olfactory that picks up even the slightest scent, then i'll be dizzy all day. but this is the longest ever for me, and with nonstop vertigo. i figure its from wearing my headset so often?

i can never tell when i'm overworking.

but thats just the physical stuff, which i can ignore usually. but lately i even feel like my head is dizzy...people always tell me i'm good at articulating myself, but i feel like i can't string a sentence together very easily these days. i figured all the brain fog was from me not eating well (i'm horrible about it when i'm obsessing about my work), but i have no appetite, even for my favorite foods when i'm like this.

i noticed when a friend asked me why i don't post pictures of my tacos anymore, and i realized i hadn't had them in a while, and they didnt sound appetizing lol...thats not normal for me. i'll be eating al pastor on my deathbed.

it sounds silly, but i'm so big about my routines that i guess i worry myself when i suddenly lose interest in them.

the reason i'm writing this is because today was the first day i felt like i physically and mentally couldnt do anything. like even force myself. and i'm freaked out ngl lol. i wish i could work without rest, needing to sleep is such a burden when you're this obsessed.

tbh i feel like most of the psychological stuff just stems from me feeling out of control about the physical stuff. everything i do is about controlling myself always LOL. it's torture.

maybe i'm saying too much. but i don't feel like myself. Episode 4 is a huge episode for me, and maybe it's stressing me out lol. but i can't do it like this.

i've always felt like a prisoner in my mind, but now my body's betraying me too lol. it's such a burden to need to rest.

so i'm gonna rest for now, and if i still have a dizzy head after that, i'll visit the doctor.

i love you! i'm working on taking care of me.