[#265] SPECIAL GUEST CAPTION!!

My mommy shops and shops forever. Forever and ever! She never stops going into stores and looking at every single object, and picking every single one up and humming thoughtfully at it and then putting it down because she doesn't want to buy it after all. At least that's what it feels like to me as she drags me around by the hand. 

She's doing it today too, and she made me get all dressed up for it! I HATED getting dressed up. I want to wear my comfy pajamas and training pants, not poofy sleeves and a diaper. I'm too BIG for padding!! We've been out for hours and hours and it's so thick and uncomfortable, not suited for a big girl like me at all.

"Mommyyyyy," I whine again, hoping to get through to this cruel and silly mama. "I'm notta baby, and I don't wanna wear.... You know...." 

I blush, and my mommy looks back at me fondly as we enter a new shop. Oh no..... A Big Frilly Dress Shop???

"I don't WANNA wear any of these! They're ALL dresses!" I whine at her, but I shuffle a little closer to my mommy in hopes that no one will see me behind her and notice my colorful diaper on under my jumper. 

"Hush baby, you're far too adorable for me to not dress up." Mommy says, waving to the cashier and taking me to the back where the clearly more infantile and childish fluffy dresses were. "Don't you want to look cute for your mommy, baby?"

I hesitate. I do like when my mommy coos and dotes on me... Maybe I could allow one dress. 

"Okay mommy.... You can buy ONE dress for me. Ummmmm," I looked around and randomly point at a blue one, and smile at how clever I am for getting out of this. "That one! Okay, let's buy it and go mama!"

My mommy shakes her head, and my heart sinks. "No no little one, you have to try it on. And you can't just try one on, what if you find another one that fits you better?" She reaches out and carefully picks up not only the blue dress, but a purple bunny themed dress and even a pink princess one! Oh no!

"MOMMYYYYYYY!" I whine. Then I stomp my foot. Then I stomp it again! Then, to make sure she REALLY knows I am displeased, I cross my arms, loudly huff, and turn away from her.

Suddenly I feel a hand on my padding. My very warm, squishy padding. I hadn't even noticed, but I'm a big girl, there's no way...

"What's this baby girl? We've only been out for a few hours, and you need a change already?" She says, although she certainly knows.

"No!" I can't admit to being wet already. "I'm-I'm a big girl! I don't need padding and I don't--"

"Well if you're a big girl, then this padding must be dry! So you're perfectly fine to try on these dresses! But if your diaper is all wet, then clearly we have to go home right away and get you changed, little girl. These dresses are much too expensive, we'd just have to go home..."

Aha! My way out of trying on all these silly dresses. But... Then I'll have to admit... No, I can't do it. I'm an adult! I'm a grown girl and I don't need padding, even if mine is....

I look at the dresses, the lace threatening me with its discomfort. The ruffles, ruffling with evil intent.

"I'm... I'm a baby, mommy. I'm your little girl and I wet-- I um, I. I used... My diaper..." 

"Good girl." Mama says, and I feel relief. Now we can leave and I can get in my comfy PJs and everything will be great!

"I'll just buy ALL of these dresses and you can try them on at home. Oh, and this petticoat too. For extra poof! And this bonnet, of course, to pull your cute new outfits together!"

"momMMYYYYYYYYYYY!!!"