A Visit to the Body Shop

APRIL FOOLS! There was no Thursday caption because I was always going to post it on Friday!

*cough*

Yeah...Totally what happened. Totally.

TEXT FOR INTERNATIONAL READERS: 

Tedd and Johnny were the main mechanics for the annual rally car tournament that came through their small, southern town every year. And every year, they’d take bribes from other racers, tournament officials, locals in the audience and even some of the town government to make sure that certain racers performed worse than others. It was all about certain individuals winning the overall prize money and advancing forward towards the state championships, nationals, and the one racer who had become a international champion. The money from all those wins, of course, flowed backwards and helped the more prominent individuals involved get a bit of a financial bump. Those not involved in the logistics of the plan would make their money after the tournament was over, and Tedd and Johnny would earn enough to live like kings for a year and drown their sorrows in beer, strippers, and tricking out their trucks with high priced auto parts.

This year was no different, and the two crooked mechanics were hard at work in the garage (after hours and off the record, of course) making tiny ‘adjustments’ to the list of ‘winner’ vehicles and those that had been deemed ‘unworthy’. And with the local police that were in on the plan patrolling the area they’d be undisturbed for the rest of the night while they worked their ‘magic’, as they liked to call it. The car Johnny and Tedd were in the process of wrecking right now? It belonged to some woman driver who, as far as they were concerned, was trying to do some political crap for women’s rights instead of just staying out of what the two perceived as a ‘man’s sport’. They’d already messed with the car once, but despite the sabotage the woman had still managed to place high enough to make her a threat to the ‘chosen’ racers. Johnny and Tedd were not looking for another chewing out (and threatened) by the rest of the conspirators, so they’d made a special trip back to the garage to make sure the woman racer’s car did NOT threaten the scheme any further.

So the white car was getting a little more attention than usual while the two made sexist jokes and ranted in their noisy echo chamber about how the only thing a woman needed to know how to drive was their ‘massive’ dicks. And drinking plenty of beer (provided for free from the local bar, which was in on the plan). Of course, neither man had expected the sudden lightshow outside of the garage or the small stampede of pigs that ran squealing from the grounds as a woman with long, dark hair and a more than angry face stormed in.

“I KNEW !T! I KNEW THIS REDNECK HELLHOLE WAS CROOKED!” She screeched, her lithe, athletic figure trembling with rage in her racing suit.

“Woah, babe, we’re just, uh, looking over all the vehicles to make sure they’re in perfect condition for tomorrow’s race!” Tedd lied lamely with a smile as fake as his waistline.

“Yeah, ain’t nothing to worry about! Leave this to us professionals, we’ll take care of yer car!” Johnny said, patting the car with a little too much force as he wondered where the hell the cops were.

“DON’T LIE TO ME, TRAILER TRASH! I KNOW YOU MESSED WITH MY CAR TODAY!” The woman screamed as she advanced further into the garage, her gloved hand balled into a fist and her other dominated by a long pointed finger that darted between the two mechanics.

“Now listen here, ‘miss’” Tedd growled as he reached for the large wrench hidden on the back of the car, out of the woman’s line of sight, “You ain’t got no right to be calling us that. Maybe we out to report you to the officials for this, some mighty heinous allegations you’re throwin’ our way”

“Yeah! Racers ain’t allowed in the garage after hours anyway!” Johnny barked back as well. He shared a glance with Tedd and grinned. They were two buff men and this woman was like a pencil, barely any muscle on her. And with the amount of power consolidated around the plan…

“Maybe y’oughta take off that ridiculous outfit and get into somethin’ more ladylike. Maybe we’ll listen to you when yer’ actin’ like a proper lady! What’ya know about cars anyway? Still gotta have guys llike us doin’ all the work for ya” The bearded man chuckled darkly, watching as Tedd circled around the car and lifted the wrench, blocking the woman’s escape path. In their intoxicated states, they couldn’t really tell that the woman’s look wasn’t one of panic, but of furious retribution.

“Is that right? Well, maybe you should show me just how you think women act when working on cars” The woman said coolly, taking on a passive stance and motioning towards her beleaguered vehicle, “Go on, convince me that woman know nothing about fixing a car and I’ll drop out and leave this little hole in the dirt town and never tell a soul about whatever this scheme is you’re doing” She crossed her slender arms, hiding her fingers and their tell-tale glow from the two potential assaulters, who didn’t notice the soft glow flicker across their bodies as the magic settled upon them.

Johnny looked back at Tedd, who gave an approving shrug, and with another chuckle, he decided to play along. Tedd would have his back anyway. Johnny tossed off his hat and pulled his coveralls up around his beer belly before running his fingers through the short hair, flinging his head back and forth as if he possessed a long, luxurious mane of hair. He tied the coveralls up to look like bra and then minced over to the car as if he was walking in high heels, unaware of his  dark hair growing out and his body taking on a much more feminine shape as breasts swelled from beneath his changing clothes as they turned from overalls into fishnet stockings and a flimsy blue top that barely contained the bulging breasts.

“Oh, like, wow! Lookit all these engine thingies!” He cried out in a partly slurred, high pitched imitation of a bimbo as his lips puffed out and his legs and arms slimmed, losing their muscles and hair. And then he had a stroke of what he felt was genius, “Like, I some big strong senor to help my car! My nails are totes too long! I might chip them!” He finished, adding in a hilariously bad Spanish accent as he bent over the car’s open hood and stuck his rear out as far as he could make it go. He looked back over his exposed, darkening shoulder and shot Tedd a sultry, smoky look. The shriveling penis disappeared beneath the short-shorts and with it, Johnny’s mind as Jenny took his place in the world.

“Ha! That’s pretty good!” The woman said with fake earnesty. She turned to Tedd, who was grinning stupidly from ear to ear (and clearly staring at his friend’s newly sexified body), “Okay, now you! Really play it up, make me believe you’re a woman!” She giggled with anticipation.

“Uh, s-sure!” Tedd croaked as his brain raced with half-baked thoughs. He knew he should guard the door but something was telling him to play along with the woman. After all she seemed to be telling the truth (and damn did he want to get closer to Jihn…Juanita’s fine ass). It took him a moment, but he finally landed on what he thought a woman would do.

“Heey girl! Like, wait up!” Tedd giggled as he undid the buttons on his overalls, sliding it off to reveal a stained, sweaty tank top and a gold chain. He cat-walked across the, like, totally gross garage floor and took up position on the other side of Juanita, his long time BFF. “Woah, look at all this! Where we supposed to get started girl? I don’t, like, know a single thing about tools outside of my man’s! He’s like, the BEST at fixing cars!” He giggled again as his sexual orientation flipped.

The racer simply watched as Tedd’s body slimmed and puffed out like the other man’s did, his thinning hair turning into a slightly curly brunette waterfall while his tank top withered away to a gray top that contained new breasts that were equally as large as the new latina’s. Tedd’s skin tanned, though only slightly, and whatever muscle mass he’d had vanished as the rest of his body fat redistributed itself to his hips and ass, now covered by a skimpier pair of short-shorts. A small necklace dangled from his slender neck and he stroked the large wrench in his tiny hand, each teasing movement casuing his penis to finish it’s metamorphosis into a womanly slit, removing all the previous knowledge of auto-repair. In just a short walk across the garage, Tess had been born.

“Ay chica, you always thinkin’ bout that man! You should, like, keep yourself libre like me! Totally makes dancing more excitante!” Juanita, Tess’s bimbo co-worker from the strip club,giggled as she ran a long nailed finger around a gasket that she had, only moments ago, known what it was for. But those thoughts were gone, replaced by how to best swing her hips and body on stage…And elsewhere afterwards.

“Oh honey, you know I don’t speak, um, Italian!” Tess sighed as she leaned back up from the car’s engine, letting the wrench rest against her crotch, the metallic coolness doing little to soothe the raging fire just beneath the fabric, “You wanna get out of here? I don’t think that hot stud from first place is gonna show up”

“Aww, I was looking forward to a poco de sexo caliente en el coche!”

“Like, can’t you just speak English!?”

The two new strippers wandered out into the night, past the piles of discarded police uniforms and ignoring the remaining swine that had ceased running and were now rooting through the nearby garbage. The racer, long forgotten by the two bimbos, watched as they made their way to the raceway’s staff parking, where two cute little pink convertibles sat where obnoxiously huge trucks had just a short while ago. She watched the girls slide into their respective vehicles and take off into the night.

Tanya snorted as she turned back to her rally car. It was a mess, but nothing a little magic wouldn’t fix. She’d known something had been up when she’d had to use her magic to keep from crashing in the race earlier today, and had stuck around the raceway after all the other racers had left to see if her suspiscions were correct. The amount of cops (who now resembled the animals they were) stationed around the garage had set her alarms off, and the two mechanics inside had all but confirmed her theory that this little podunk town was trying to screw her out of her trophy, and probably because she was a woman! There would be hell to pay with the coven council for such reckless use of magic, but she hadn’t broken any bylaws. Turning people into animals or airheaded bimbos was allowed if a witch was slighted, and she certainly had been (and might still be tomorrow). But that all had yet to be decided. Tanya, despite not above using magic to get revenge, wasn't about to abuse her power and ruin her dream of being a racer and just making her car better than all the others. She'd win fair and square, and intended to put her car back into peak condition like it had been before those two bimbos had gotten their meaty paws all over it. Whether or not the problem was with them or went deeper, that had yet to be determined but Tanya would play things fair...Until she was forced not to. And if they still tried to cheat her tomorrow after she DID win…

“Well, then maybe I’ll have to turn Victory Lane into a wet t-shirt contest” She muttered as she began fixing her car, and forgetting all about the two new women who would be, in short order, handling new kinds of toolboxes.