Stumbling Up: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 33: Table Manners

[Your Mom's Party] huddled in the corner, trying to formulate a plan while the 'dungeon monsters' ignored us.

"Why did you have to tell them?" I whined.

"Sorry, man, but it just slipped out. He was eying my axe, and well, you were going to have to tell them sooner or later." Leo was right, the idiot.

One of the 'bosses' clanked a skillet loudly against the stove. My mom and Flo had long ago mastered the art of cooking angry. I think it was a skill that moms automatically acquired when they had their first child. My dad cooked too, but he almost always cooked angrily since he always seemed to mess something up. They never let him cook on Sundays, not for family dinner.

"I don't see what the big deal is," Meredeath said. "It's not like you were sucked away to another world or something."

"You're right, but it's my mom. Her parents were killed in a dungeon breakout in one of the Western cities. She was raised by her older brother, whose passion was to become an [Adventurer] to avenge her parents. You can guess what happened to him." It was a sad story, one we'd been told time and time again as kids. I think she'd picked dad because he wasn't interested in anything but farming. Of course, this meant she had a kid named Moldboard, so there were trade-offs.

Well, that and his map.

I looked over at Share, but she wouldn't meet my eyes. That hurt. She was my first friend and closest family member. I absently pet Richard, who was snoring next to me in a food coma.

"Cole's in trooooouuuubbbbllee! Trouble, grouble, trouble!" Saphira wasn't old enough to know why, but she was enjoying singing about my toils. As pots clanked much louder than needed in the kitchen, Saphira pranced around, inventing words that rhymed with trouble.

"Do you think we could look at your dad's map after dinner? I haven't been able to get a good understanding of the land," her voice dropped, "since I was dumped here."

"Yeah, I'll see what I can do." I knew I didn't sound hopeful, but I'd already been on the outs with my family. And now this.

"It can't be that bad?" Meredeath said, "Your mom seems nice. She cares about you way more than my mom cared about me and my sister."

Tandy's eyebrows went up, and I stored that bit of information away for later. It was the first time Meredeath had mentioned anything about her home without being prodded.

"Yeah, my mom and Flo are two peas in a pod. If they're not at the wheel, they're not happy. And so far, I'm the only one that's truly left the preordained path of farming and family." I'd never wanted to be a farmer. Not that I particularly wanted to be a [Smith] or [Chef] or [Adventurer] for that matter. I just didn't want to be here. I wanted to be on my own, have my own space, my own thoughts, be able to tinker in my workshop without someone poking me.

Meredeath looked pointedly at Coulter and Plow, "I think you're just paving the way for the future."

"That's exactly what they're afraid of," I said quietly.

Dinner was served family style. Giant bowls piled with steaming food. I missed their cooking.

I grabbed a roll and skipped the chicken. I never liked our chickens alive or roasted. Plus, they were making sure we got served first as guests, and there wasn't enough meat to go around. Leo and Tandy followed suit, but Meredeath had grabbed a chunk of the breast meat, which was fine.

Stuffing and potatoes, greens and a rich gravy piled on my plate. Flo had even used her [Cool] skill to cool down a pitcher of blueberry and mint juice. It tasted like home, even though the table conversation was minimal.

"The stuffing is delicious," Leo said, mouth too full to talk. His table manners were atrocious.

"Thank you, Leo," Flo replied, polite but curt.

It was up to me to make this right. It was just like my family to make me do all the work.

"Mom, I'm sorry, okay. I didn't intend to become an [Adventurer]." The words came out choppy, as though each one forced through the knot in my throat.

"I didn't know they'd started conscripting. Has the [Adventurer's] Guild gotten that desperate? Is this just like you ‘happened’ to become a [Smith] during harvest?" Flo's 'innocent' question floated over our meal like a fly.

My face burned in shame. That’d been different. I’d been so young, and needed to escape the farm.

Maybe it wasn’t so different.

Feeling defeated, I said, "No, they're not conscripting. I signed up by accident."

"By accident? I didn't know one could just stumble into a pen and sign a contract with the guild. I'll be careful next time I'm in town. I don't want that to happen to me." For the love of the Everbear, I wish my sister would just shut up.

"We got drunk on my birthday," Leo explained, beating me to it. Tandy elbowed him. Leo’s cluelessness knew no bounds.

"That explains so much," Meredeath whispered, not helping.

Flo rolled her eyes, as though Leo had confirmed every expectation she’d contrived over the years.

There wasn't anything I could say. I didn't have a ‘good’ excuse.

There was nothing I could say that would make this better for her. I tried anyway.

"I passed the [Trial Dungeon]. We're full [Adventurers], so you don't have to worry about the trial." Her face raised as I spoke. For a second, I had a brief spark of hope. Maybe this would be alright after all.

Richard burbled. I looked down at him as he adjusted and flopped his tail off the bench.

"Randat had passed his test too." My mom's voice was low, and her words tight, snuffing out the spark. Even Galen had stopped making noises as she talked, "He'd survived several quests, was so proud of his polished armor, his overpowered skills,” her voice hissed as she finished the sentence, “and his giant enchanted sword. He'd trained for a decade before becoming an [Adventurer].”

She looked at me, steel eyes continuing, “He was cut down by one of those monsters. None of it saved him. We buried the parts of him left.”

Her words hung in the room. I couldn’t meet her gaze.

They’d buried parts. I couldn’t help but think that’s what would have happened if the corrupt guardian or the ribbons of hunger or the root canals had gotten their way.

“We've put up with a lot from you, Cole, including moving to the city and chasing job after job. Now an [Adventurer]? You’re going to die. Did you ever think of Mom? Of us?" Floria always finished an argument.

You’re going to die, her words echoed in my head. Floria never holds back.

There were many excuses I could have made. But I'd sat in that ashen crater after we'd beaten the corrupt guardian and I'd chosen to move forward as an [Adventurer]. Suppressed anger boiled up in me; my choice wasn't wrong. Being an [Adventurer] was just as good as being a [Farmer]. Not better, but equal. And it was better for me.

"Mom, I love you." All eyes were fixed on me, and I added, "I love all of you." I looked at Share, whose eyes were glistening. "But I've got to live my own life."

"You've made that very apparent." Mom’s words bit me deeper than any sword.

She returned to her dinner; the discussion was over. I sat back down, hot tears running down my face. Meredeath put an arm around my back, drawing me close.

"It'll be okay," she whispered, handing me her napkin. I just nodded, numb. I wanted to crawl under the table and vanish. But I couldn’t. If I left now, that would be the end of it.

Eventually, the kids started talking, their capability to be silent severely hampered by their age. Conversations wrapped around us about the mundane things, weather, which chicken we were eating, and the state of the cattle pond. No one dared talk to us, and that was okay. I wasn't in the mood.

Meredeath whispered a little too loudly to Tandy, “I see where his [Self Criticism] skill comes from.”

“Yeah, it’s a good thing Cole has us.” Tandy reached across the table and squeezed my hand.

“I’m really grateful for all of you.” I poked Leo, including him in the statement. He brought his eyes up for the first time, glad his mistakes weren’t unforgivable. The problem wasn’t his honesty; it was the rigidity of my family.

As the table was cleared, Share came to take our plates.

"You know I love you, Cole. I've always admired your ability to stand up to the two of them," she murmured low so only I could hear. "I never did have that strength." She took his plate and Meredeath's damp napkin, squeezing my hand. I wondered if she really wanted to marry Fennel after all.

With the table clear, I stood up. Now that propriety was satisfied, it was time to go. I grabbed Richard, who sluggishly moved to my shoulder.

Yawning, he looked around.

Dinner’s over? Richard whined, squirming on my shoulder. The glutton’s disappointment was so over-the-top it tugged a smile out of me.

Thank the Everbear for Richard. He saved me from more tears as we walked out.

I didn't want to stay in the house, and they didn't have the room for us anyway. I walked, not looking at anyone's faces. The raw wound was too fresh for anyone's sympathy.

Outside was better. The night had arrived while we'd been eating, and fireflies danced in the thicket.

"Hold up, son." A gruff voice stopped us. My dad stepped outside, closing the door behind him. "What's done is done. It wasn't my choice for you, but you've got to live your own life. Come back next year," his voice choked a bit as we both had the same thought: if you're still alive. "Come back, and see us. Things will be different."

I nodded, a fresh wave of tears blurring my vision.

"Take this," he said, handing me an old leather map that had carried him east, all the way to Woodsten. "It served me well. I hope it's as good to you as it was to me. Sleep in the barn tonight. I'll keep the kids inside."

He stood before me, his dark hair sprinkled with salt and pepper. His face was leathery from a lifetime in the sun and dirt.

"Thanks, Dad," I managed to say.

He nodded, then held out an old, callused hand. I blinked, then shook it firmly.

"Good luck, son. Try not to die."

I like your dad. That's good advice. You told him we were taking on the bone lady tomorrow?