Hop To It - Advance 7

[G.U.N.]

Captain Palisade stepped behind the podium and cleared her throat, looking out over the applicants. Less than they wanted but more than they expected; some were nervous, some were professional, and some looked bored. A few standouts were already catching her attention, but she very carefully didn’t outwardly focus on them. This was an important event and Julie wasn’t about to allow herself to form biases before they even started.

In the back of the room, Comm--er, Marshall Towers stood with his arms crossed. The title was a new one created by the President to represent G.U.N.’s infant internal auditors. Tower was the first and currently only Marshall in the forces, but others were being vetted elsewhere and would soon be ready to begin G.U.N.’s restructuring in earnest.

The small crowd had fallen silent, so Palisade cleared her throat again and began.

“Thank you. You are all here today because you volunteered for G.U.N.’s new Mobian inclusivity program. The--” quickly check her notes “--nineteen of you are the very first batch of new recruits under this program, and the Federation thanks you for your patriotism. However, I am obligated to warn you: the Guardian Units of Nations will be experiencing extreme turbulence in the coming months--possibly years--and you all will be under a great deal of scrutiny as a result. Your training will be difficult, and it is likely most of you will be in the public eye as you represent our new policies. As promised, we are prepared to offer compensation in exchange for enduring these teething troubles, but I understand if any of you are unwilling to put up with it. Any of you who want to bow out now, you are free to do so. There will be no consequences if you leave.”

She paused, giving them a chance to leave. Some of them looked less sure now, and a lion in the front row shifted like he wanted to get up, but he thought better of it and settled back again. No one left.

“Very good. On to the first step. Due to new policies in our hiring practices, all new recruits are currently required to go through a short interview. To help set precedent, these are being extended to you all as well. You will have noticed that the backs of your chairs are numbered. Number one, follow me, we will begin right away.”

--------------------------------

The first applicant was the lion she noted. He was tall for a Mobian at four and a half feet, and was an unusual dark red.

Palisade looked over his application. “Your name is Smithy, yes? Age 18?”

“Er. Correct, ma’am. Sir. Ma’am?”

“Sir will do,” Julie said, smiling faintly. Do you have a last name?”

“No, sir.”

She made a note of that. “You may want to consider one. It isn't technically a requirement, one of our few preexisting Mobian agents goes without, but it makes record keeping easier. Never know when another Smithy might join up.”

“Right, I’ve heard about folks picking up new names in the city. Bees love giving themselves last names,” Smithy said.

Julie wanted to ask what the hell that meant, but now wasn’t the time. “Do you have one in mind?”

“Not really.” He hesitated. “How about… Cut...ler. Cutler.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Smithy Cutler?” Her pan hovered over the page.

Smithy made a face. “Ugh, no. I don’t like the sound of that.”

Palisade paused. “How do you feel about Cutler Smith? Make Smithy your last name instead of your first.”

“That sounds better, but I still don’t know. It’s a little embarrassing.”

“How so?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well. It kind of ties into the reason I wanted to join. See, I’ve kind of had this idea about starting an…” He winced. “I used to want to be an adventurer. Wanted to start a whole adventure company. We’d go around, travelling all over the world, and folks could hire us to solve problems. Fight back against monsters, do rescue work, that sort of thing.”

Julie gave him a look. “Mercenaries?”

“Kind of? When Dr. Robotnik showed up, I thought that that was my chance, but then Sonic took care of it so quickly each time. I was still preparing to set out when it was all over, and then again the next time. It made me realize that I didn’t know what I was doing, not really.” He sighed. “I still think about it, but I just… haven’t had the chance to show my stuff. Until you announced that you were hiring Mobians, and I realized that this was the perfect opportunity to get the experience I need.”

Captain Palisade was writing furiously. “So, do you intend to leave G.U.N. at some point, then?”

Smithy’s eyes widened. “Oh, uh! Maybe? I guess I was sort of thinking that, but I’d be just as happy to be, like, part of a strike team as long as I still get to go around helping and fighting Eggman’s robots.”

Julie smiled. “I see. Thank you for your honesty. And it’s fine. Not every soldier is in it for their whole lives. Many retire to civilian life after five, or even two years of service.” She paused as a thought occurred. “Out of curiosity, how does this relate to the name Cutler?”

Smithy blushed. “Well… I wanted to call my group the Diamond Cutters.”

She smiled. “I see. Do you want to declare anything? Special skills, health concerns, anything like that?”

“I can make my own weapons,” Smithy offered.

“Interesting.” She checked the time. “I think that will suffice. Return to your seat and send in the next applicant.”

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The next several entrants were nothing special, but applicant 8 had been flagged as a potential issue.

“It says on your application that you’re only seventeen.”

“Yes sir!”

“Are you aware that we don’t take recruits younger than eighteen?” Palisade asked, a little warily.

This was one of the more intense potentials; he already moved like he had training and had some idea of what was expected. He even brought his own weapon, which he was only allowed to keep on his person past the lobby because it was for melee; he had an entire sword hanging from his belt.

“I am aware, sir, but my birthday is in the near future. I will be of age by the time my training is complete, sir!”

She checked her notes again; he wasn’t wrong but it still worried her. “Alright… why do you wish to join up then, Mr…. D’Coolette?”

The coyote’s eyes sparkled as he stood up with enough force to knock his chair over. “It is mine destiny, Captain! My family line were once knights! We served the kings of old, guarding the ancient kingdom with valor and chivalry!” He sighed dramatically. “Alas, the kingdom no longer exists. It fell into decline, until one day, the royal family vanished. My great-great-GREAT-grandfather was the last of my line to serve the kings. But we still maintain the traditions. He taught his son the way of the knight, who taught his son, all the way down to me. And now I wish to become a knight of this new age.”

Juliet stared at him. Part of her wanted to laugh, while another part wanted to bang her head on the desk. Sadly, both of those would be terribly unprofessional. “You ARE aware that the modern soldier doesn’t much resemble the… knights of the round table, correct?”

He nodded stiffly. “I am aware.” He drew his sword and held it in front of his face. “It matters not. I will do my ancestors proud either way.”

Julie shook her head, quietly amazed. Still, if his resume was even half accurate, he was already quite skilled. “You’ll get your opportunity. I suppose. Send in the next one, please.”

“Yes SIR!”

---------------------------------

Palisade read through the documents in front of her with a furrowed brow. The final applicant was very impressive; multiple degrees at a relatively young age, several published papers as a student, gun license, even a trophy from a local kickboxing tournament. Assuming he could pass the physical requirements, he was likely to be an officer right out the gate. And yet…

She glanced up over the paper at the white platypus in the maroon polo, lounging in the simple wooden chair like it was a throne. His smug aura annoyed her.

“This is all very impressive, Mr. Starr. Yet I can’t help but wonder,” she said, slapping the papers onto the desk. “Your credentials paint you as more of a scholar than a soldier. Why join G.U.N.?”

“If I’m to be fully honest, Captain, it was those incentives you mentioned,” he said, and Palisade had to blink. 

His tone was completely at odds with his body language. He sounded sincere, but the look on his face…

“You see, I’m trying to pursue my doctorates,” Linus Starr continued, placing a hand on his chest. “In fact, I wanted to pursue it here in Central City; It’s one of the best universities around, after all. But my proposals and essays were rejected; it seems I, quote, ‘straddle the line of the infeasible and the unethical. It’s a pipe dream,’ unquote. It is my hope that if I lend my intellect to G.U.N., you’d be able to provide the scholarship and housing I need to continue my education.”

Palisade coughed. “I see. And what was your proposal that they rejected?” She shuffled through the papers. “I believe you’re seeking a joint degree in medical science and… something to do with exotic energy?”

“Oh, I’m so glad you asked,” Starr preened. “Technically, my degree is focused on the design and construction of advanced prostheses, but my actual intent is only medical-adjacent. If we can replace a missing limb, I don’t see any reason why we can’t improve on it.”

Julie was starting to get a headache. This guy was one of those types.  The sort that had more ego than manners and more brains than sense. A PR incident waiting to happen--but that wasn’t actually a reason to deny him.  They needed staff for their new R&D division… and the idea that injured soldiers could return to duty better than before would probably go over very well with the higher-ups. As long as he was kept away from any reporters, he’d probably be fine.

She sighed. “I think that’s all I need. G.U.N. actually already has programs in place to provide financial aid to our troops’ education, so I’m sure we can work something out.” She stood.

Starr smiled widely. “Thank you Captain. I appreciate it. Please, allow me.” He stood as well, opening the door for her as they both left to finish the orientation.

“Did you say you needed housing?” Palisade asked before stepping back into the main room.

Starr frowned for the first time that meeting. “Yes. Mother has been making noises in the vein of wanting her basement back… and the less I see of her boyfriend the better.”

Well, that was almost a relief; finally, something that made him feel human. Er, relatively speaking.

---------------------------------

[Heyu]

Humi shuffled nervously before pulling herself up. “Presenting the Valet Robot You Gladly Deploy, or the VRY-GD!”

The goodnik next to her came out of sleep mode as the signal, folding its arms behind its back. “Very good, sir.”

Maddie hid a smile behind her hand. “Oh, I like it. Tell me more.”

I smiled and flashed Humi a thumb’s up from where I was seated. We were in a sitting room in City Hall that Miss Gildenhall had booked for us. Humi was nervous, not having expected to do a presentation, but she loved talking about her projects. Without much preamble, she launched into a full rundown of the VRY-GD’s capabilities while Maddie listened.

The robot didn’t end up looking much like the original maid robots; Humi didn’t like the idea of copying Robotnik when she could be more creative instead, and so the maid became a butler. It was just slightly taller than Iota at six feet even, but almost half as wide, and was designed to look like it was wearing a suit with tails. The head looked like the E-series, with a white hood instead of yellow, and even had simple shutter eyelids to give it that signature unimpressed expression all butlers are expected to have. Most of it was painted black, of course, but the forearms were white, giving the slight impression of having rolled its sleeves up.

Maddie looked impressed. She better be, I was impressed, and I already knew what Humi was capable of. She needed to borrow Tails’ workshop to machine a lot of the parts, but it really paid off.

“The body is sturdy with a range of motion equal to a human’s. Unlike Iota’s extending arms, VRY-GD instead had extending legs, to let him get up high for cleaning those tough-to-reach places.”

The butler robot demonstrated, its calves and thighs telescoping up until its head bumped against the ceiling.

“How high can it go?” Maddie asked as it lowered again.

“A little past ten feet. He’s got a built-in vacuum, feather duster, tanks in his arms that can hold cleaning fluids that spray from his fingers, and more.” She smirked. “He’s also got a database of recipes for working in the kitchen, and can drive if you need him to.”

I grinned as she went down the list of features. Starting from the base that had been Robotnik’s programming, Humi had added as much as she could, scrubbing any loyalty programs left in.

The Mayor, sitting next to me, elbowed me gently in the ribs. “Your girl there put this together pretty quick, didn’t she?”

“She’s done more with less time,” I said happily, flipping open some of my reading material now that I was confident she had this. “You should see her battle mech.”

I was reading one of the many research folders we found on the ARK. Now that we were getting settled, I wanted to do more ring experiments. There sadly wasn’t much to work with; this document was the only thing I could find… anywhere, that tried to talk in depth about Rings at all. It didn’t really tell me anything I hadn’t already figured out on my own--it didn’t look like the scientist involved ever tried to wear the rings like jewelry like I did--but there were some variants it mentioned I didn’t know about. Like something called a Red Star Ring… which was only mentioned in passing and not expanded on. All it said was that it was a larger, much more concentrated ring.

I looked up when I heard Maddie talk again.

“VRY-GD, could you take my coat please?”

“Of course, miss.” The robot moved, stepping behind her and gently taking the article as she shrugged it off, folding it carefully over its arm. Its head rotated quickly, searching for a hanger or  coat hook to store it before settling for standing there with it after it found none.

Maddie grinned. “I think I’ll call you Jeeves.”

“Unit name registered. Very good, miss.”

She tapped her chin, thinking. “...I’m feeling peckish. Can you recommend a restaurant, Jeeves?”

Jeeves’ eyes blinked. He beeped.

“...I see.” She turned to Humi. “Is he not smart like your robot friend, or Gamma?”

Humi waggled her hand back and forth. “He’s smart, but he’s not really aware. There’s like… different kinds of smart when it comes to these robots. A lot of badniks are basically animal-like. Elites like Gamma and Iota are fully self aware. VR--I mean, Jeeves is somewhere in between. He’ll get better at interpreting orders as he works.” She paused. “I’m not sure what the limits are on that. Let me know if he ever starts acting weird.”

“I see…” Maddie trailed off, staring at Jeeves with a frown.

Humi fidgeted. “Is something wrong?”

“He’s missing something.” Maddie smiled. She turned towards a flower vase and pulled a rose out. “Do you have a clip? Oh, excellent.” She took a magnetic plastic clip from Humi, pinched it onto the rose stem, and stuck the flower on Jeeves’s chest. “There. Now he’s perfect.”

“Oh, good.” Humi’s shoulders relaxed and she smiled. “You take good care of him, okay?”

“But of course. I think we’ll get along famously, don’t you Jeeves?”

“Very good, miss.”

She chuckled. Maddie turned to Humi, crouching slightly. “So, what’s next for our resident genius?”

Humi blushed. “Oh, er. Well. I was--Shelldon wanted a basement for his casks, so I was thinking up digging robots. Why?”

“You’re just a busy little bee, aren’t you?” The socialite tittered. “I ask because I feel like my friends are going to be keeping you busy. Once they get to see my new butler, they’re all going to want one.”

“R-really?”

I stood up, nodding to the Mayor, and went to stand beside her. “Good job, Humi. Miss Gildenhall--”

The woman rolled her eyes. “We’ve been over this. Call me Maddie.”

“Right. I’m glad you like your order. Can we discuss the payment now?”

She nodded. “Of course, of course.” She made a gesture, and the Mayor stood up with a briefcase in hand, handing it to me. “Word of advice, you might want to charge more for the next commission.”

“We’ll call this the friends and family discount,” I replied, deciding not to mention that she was the one who set the price.

“I dunno if I’ll keep selling robots,” Humi said. “I’m not sure I like… giving my projects away.” She stared at Jeeves.

The robot didn’t react, just continuing to stand behind Miss Gildenhall.

I shrugged. “It isn’t giving them away if you’re selling them, but maybe we can rent them out instead. Up to you.”

Mr. Gildenhall nodded jovially. “A fair idea. And speaking of bees--”

I blinked. “Did someone mention bees?”

“--you should prepare for some new neighbors,” the Mayor said, ignoring me. “A young couple just moved from Apiary Island and were looking to buy some land, and I ended up pointing them to your little cul-de-sac.” He rubbed his mustache. “Hoho, maybe they can be your first customers, if you make something that can build a house.”

Humi gained a thoughtful look while I sighed. “More neighbors?”

My little mouse looked up at me with a frown. “I thought you liked Fry and Shelldon.”

“I don’t dislike them,” I hedged. “But I was kind of enjoying the privacy of living in the jungle. Why did they choose Mystic Ruins, anyway?”

“Didn’t I tell you a while ago?” Maddie asked, tilting her head. “Station Square’s influence ends at the bottom of Mystic Station’s stairs. The rest of that jungle is wild and unregulated.” I looked at her, not getting it, so she spelled it out. “No one owns the land out there. They can just claim a plot and start building.”

I leaned back, blinking rapidly. “...You know, I was starting to wonder why I was missing some of my bills in the mail.” That actually explained a lot about Big. “Then why hasn’t anyone--”

“Between the lack of utilities and the archeological activity, it just wasn’t worth it before,” the Mayor said. “But now that the dig has packed up and left, and there’s plumbing and powerlines running from the station to your house…”

“I see.” I shook myself. “Well, that would have been good to know.” I might have to take the time to go out and claim some land, however that works. Iota would be heartbroken if someone else came along and paved over the jungle. Ugh, that was probably going to require paperwork.

I hefted the briefcase into the crook of one arm and popped it open with the other. Neatly packed stacks of cash beamed up at me, and I whistled. Yeah, that was a pleasant distraction.

I nudged Humi with my foot, and she looked confused for a moment before climbing up to my shoulder and holding out her hand. “Pleasure doing business with you!” she chirped.

Maddie cooed, accepting the handshake before sneakily pinching her cheek. “You two are just adorable. I’ll have to hire you again sometime soon.”

We finished saying our goodbyes, and walked out the door minus one robot and plus ten thousand dollars. As we left, I noticed Jeeves gingerly prodding at his new boutonniere.

Once we left City Hall, I made a beeline for the bank.

“Do you remember the account I made for you in Central?” I asked.

“Yeah, I remember.”

“Here’s what we’re going to do,” I said. “We’re going to put half of this into your account, and then I’m taking you shopping. Anything you want, you’ve got five big ones to spend.”

She stilled. I felt her grab my ear and use it to lean off my shoulder to hang in front of my face. “Really?”

“Really.”

“What about your cut?”

I gave her an amused smirk. “My cut? For what? You did everything yourself. This is your money.”

She looked at the briefcase, wide-eyed. “It’s all mine?”

I pushed her back onto my shoulder. “If you do more jobs like this later, maybe I’ll skim a little off the top to help pay bills and whatnot, but this is your first big payday, right? I’m not taking a penny away. So,” I finished, “What do you want to spend it on?”

She hesitated. I felt like she was waiting for me to say ‘psyche!’ Then;

“Can we get a computer? A really good one, so I don’t have to go to Tails’ place to use his. And then we can go to the hardware store and get some parts; I need to be able to make my own parts too. After that I wanna get ice cream, and maybe something for Iota--do you think he’d like a rose bush?”

I chuckled and ruffled her fur. “I bet he would. But hold on, bank first, then shopping.”

“I need some quality tools, too. And maybe some fabric, I haven’t sewn in a while…”

I shook my head, letting her ramble. I didn’t think five thousand was going to go quite that far, but we’d find out shortly. It was a good day.