Why I've Stopped Trying to Be a Perfectionist

I've grown up recieving constant "performance" feedback and eventually found myself using this to assess my value and self worth. My rank in school, scores in college, likes on insta, performance reviews at work, heck, even my credit score were a measure of my worth as a human. I had become dependent on these "scores" of my worth given by other people. The closer I was to perfect the more I would be valued. It's scary when you realize you've become a slave to that kind of thinking. It's not exactly the same thing you were talking about but I was reminded of it by your post.

The drop down tab that says "newest to oldest" a little bit below "posts" on the left

Yay! I love the mascots video

Does anybody know how to view posts chronilrogically on patreon?!?

Japanese mascots are amazing, and this video is great. I came up close and personal quite by chance with a Japanese mascot... My host family, who at this point I've known for over 10 years, have always been quite involved with the local community; I've been to countless festivals where I've been roped into a job somehow, been on the local news, made visits with food to the elderly to deliver food and helped out at a polling station. Yet somehow, I hadn't learnt one particular secret. A couple of years ago, I walked into their living room and saw behind a paper screen door, a dismembered body hanging from the ceiling in the Japanese-style room. I opened the door to find a large body of a dog, dressed as a samurai, and the head neatly placed beside it on the floor. Upon further investigation I found out the three women of my host family (Mum and two daughters) often take on the role of the mascot at local events. My host Mum had even been on the panel designing the dog! Having discovered the secret identity of the local mascot I was then shown a huge amount of letters and potato chips they get sent all year round from young fans. This particular mascot's favourite food is potato chips, so they receive lots of these. Explains all the crisps I'd been getting in my Japanese care packages at least!

Sometimes, the most fateful fans of an artist don't want his perfection. They just want him. The truly self. We appreciate you, Chris. Not your perfection, but rather your truly self. (Bad engrish is because me not engrish gentleman).

気付いていなかった、問題ないかもしれない

Ryori

1. Feels like you've finally let the real Chris Broad out of closet, the guy who is not afraid to be hurt. 2. What did you do to Mr Snuggles?

As an artist who is never satisfied, I can entirely relate to these feelings. I agree that it's important to just go with your gut at times and not chase the validation otherwise you lose the things that makes your work yours.

Chris Hunter

I cannot resonate more with this statement if i tried. Especially lately. Lol I've been sitting on a few short videos i took just thismorning of some large Malaia Garnets i just got in, and i cannot for the life of me decide which videos look perfect enough to post, which lighting/shadowing meshes best with how they glow from the inside (took the videos of them backlit with a fire place, truly a sight to see, as they look like glowing hot coals!), and i am still sitting here trying to decide which are best before plopping them up on my very neglected Instagram. Lol Which unfortunately sits semi neglected because its a pain in the ass that IG only really allows you to upload photos/videos from a phone; and if your primary source of photography is on a camera, then theirs a large step in having to upload work from a camera to a computer for editing, then back to the phone for posting to IG. Like what is life at that point, really. Lol i already stay up at ungodly hours just to play photo editing catch up that never seems to actually ever end. 😂 lol The other night i was living off of refilled cold coffee and multiple Indiana Jones films in the background just to keep alert while endlessly editing and uploading. 😂 lolol If i had a dime for every folder of photos ive second guessed or put off posting due to high expectational judgement and indecisiveness, id have a shit ton of dimes. Lol Maybe I'd have enough dimes to pay someone else to not be as indecisive about it as me. 😂 lmao And don't even get me started on the "order of upload" issue i fight myself on regularly. Lol Trying to push out my less favourite shots first, while having what i feel is my "best", front and centre. Another personal nightmarish headache all in itself of course. Lol And isnt it peculiar how we critique our own work to the fullest extent to the point of stalling, only to have the viewer not even remotely notice what it was that kept us from sharing it in the first place? They wind up seeing it for the exact reason we decided to snap the shot to begin with, perfect or not--- while we spent too much time picking it apart like a mad person hyper fixated on making it astounding when it most likely already was. And i never personally knew that vertical shots faired better than horizontal ones! 😮 I can definitely say that not only did i absolutely enjoy your viscerally inviting neon taxi shot, but i also learned things in the process of your glorious maddening breakdown of how it came to be. And honestly i couldn't be more glad that you decided to share it, relatable details and all. 😊📷💙🚕🌆

Jewel - (Freyja's Konjures)

the universe itself isnt perfect . Our perspective of perfection isn't perfect . We can only admire the beauty of japanase mascots ..lol

The Mascot Video is worth watching. It's definitely a unique Japanese culture. My profile picture is proof of that.😁

Satomi Arihara

Oh god, I’d forgotten about the horrors of DJ Bear, haha.

Abroad in Japan

I liked that video, and I do wonder whether the algorithm just didn’t appreciate the frame with “Hitler” written all over it 😅 Thanks algorithm, your lack of understanding of context is never ending.

JB

Well, for a start, you're not Jackie Chan

Niken Larasati

Perhaps now you will loose that terrible habit of unlisting videos? Your videos are awesome mate! Don't delete them just because they don't get views, give it time!

António Dias

This is a pointless and unhelpful comment. If you don't like something keep it to yourself. "Delete and try again" is rude and disrespectful. If you likes Chis' work then stay, if you want to correct people's syntax then you should either keep that sh*t to yourself or leave.

This post got me: (1) contemplating the applicability of perfectionism in my career and the inevitable existential crisis that is to follow (2) craving Pringles.

I can't agree more with the struggle of balancing audience capturing and the accuracy of the message you want to show. I hate to say this but it seems that people nowadays don't take time to appreciate a nice piece of art (in the form of videos or photos or whatever visual) or read an article of complicated political subject. The algorithm of social media also doesn't help as well, it's making user only view what that usually like but not other random things. That makes your audience base really narrow and in turn it will become a like it or hate it polarised situation. Keep up the good work Chris, nice~ photo~ (with Natsuki accent).

Arnold Chan

As a creative myself it’s definitely hard not think about perfection and engagement, and think that no engagement = your stuff is terrible and worthless. So I do feel that it’s important to remember why we create content in the first place - we’re sharing our passion, what we enjoy aren’t we? (wow that was too many we’s in a sentence, my English is g r e a t). As long as you’re proud of the work, those who see that will follow through ;). That being said I’m also happy to see that you’ve decided to upload your photo and the mascot video again, now I get to laugh at DJ bear saying twat again!

Chris, it was great hearing you reflect on this on the Trash Taste podcast, and it seemed like with the guys you had a good source of support and perspective. I, like many others, will watch anything and everything you produce or appear in. Your personality is what makes your content!

I'm sorry, Chris, but the title "Why I've Stopped Trying to Be a Perfectionist" is tautologous. It should be either "Why I've Stopped Being a Perfectionist" or "Why I've Stopped Trying to Be Perfect". Delete and try again.

But... but... but I loved the mascot video! ❤️❤️❤️

So, funny story: while you've been fretting away about not getting enough audience engagement, some of us more involved fans have intentionally reduced our engagement to avoid looking like stalkers. There's been plenty of paranoia to go around, I guess?

Eels

I'm glad the mascots video went back up. I'd heard it mentioned a couple of times and it was good to be able to see it. I think zombear was my favourite. I'm not sure what that says about me! Great photo as well.

When I ran into this photo in my feed this morning, I stared at it for a good few minutes soaking in the feeling of being in a taxi in Tokyo. If that's not a sign of a great photo, I don't know what is.

I still don't understand why the mascot video didn't do well in terms of view counts. It was really fun to watch and shows just as much creativity as any of the other Abroad in Japan videos do. The podcast episode was one of my favorites too. Anyways, glad to see it back again 😁😁😁

One of my family members is a perfectionist, and bless them, they do not enjoy good mental health. It isn’t the way to a happy life. Meanwhile, I can’t see anything wrong in the photo, and would have been delighted with it. It reminds me of a dream scene from a movie, no particular movie or dream scene, but that’s the vibe it gives me. I’m glad the mascot video is back, I did enjoy that one, and I’ll watch it again.

I distinctly remembered bringing up the mascot video as to why it was no longer on your channel at last month's end of month livestream and when you said "It wasn't popular, because the Youtube numbers showed it wasn't doing so well, so I culled it" I won't lie, I was disappointed when you said that, because I thought it should be shown regardless of numbers, heck you didn't exactly take down the Fukushima video when that wasn't doing so well did you Chris? Anyway besides that, I'm just glad the mascot video is back.

Xenin

It's hilarious that anyone would consider a video with 230k views a "bomb"

I know many have already said it but I'll say it myself too, I actually really like this video. I understand that struggle, but I get sad when content creators remove something just because it seems the "core" audience didn't love it. Almost everyone does it though so it's a normal thing I guess.

Perfectionism is the bane of my existence. I struggle a lot with it. That little voice in your head telling you that your project is not perfect so what is even the point of doing it? It really fuels my procrastination and negative self-talk. I truly appreciated your post. It is nice to know you are not alone. It made me feel better too to hear your positive approach and process to how you overcame your mindset at that moment. I honestly believe it is a beautiful picture.

Well, I laughed hard. I never knew mascots could be so terrifying.

I think sharing these two things has been a very healthy decision! I get what you mean about the composition, but the shot is still really worthwhile as a mood and just because most of us don't get to be in a Japanese taxi ourselves! Those doilies get me every time. So I've gone over and liked and commented on the picture, for what it's worth :). As for the mascot video: I really liked that one! It needs to be out there and stay out there for all those people who will want to know more about Japanese mascots at some point in their lives. And while we're on that topic: I really recommend 99% Invisible's recent podcast episode on Japanese mascots, their links to yokai and Shinto, and how they have been dealing with Covid. Fascinating stuff! The episode is called 'Return of the Yokai'.

Nynke de Haas

Glad to see that you un-privated the mascot video.

e10109

If you didn't point out the "flaws" in the picture, I didn't see anything wrong with it and thought it was a really cool shot. We're our worst critics as cliche is that is. "You become hyper aware of the performance of everything you do or create" this hits home hard. I needed that reminder. I've lost count of how many drawings I've scrapped because I made a small mistake or messed them up - or don't think they would get enough engagement. Funnily enough, the drawings I just do for the hell of it or stick through after the mistake one's I like the best. Thank you for sharing your experience, it just helped a lot :)

I don't know why you don't like the mascot video. It really liked it when it came out and just rewatched it as still think it is great. Stop being crazy!

Georgina Luxford

Hadn't seen the mascot video before, but my family and I all thought it was great. Even my daughter who finds puppets and similar things rather disturbing. Sometimes videos bomb for no reason at all, I guess ...

Just re-watched the mascot video (I watched it when it was originally released), and I can't see any specific reason for it to be a major bomb - I quite enjoyed it.

I was just thinking how sad it was that you removed the mascot video. So many of us found it hilarious and culturally fascinating, and there's more to us (and the video!) than figures and percentages. I'm really happy that you decided to re-list it. It's not easy rewiring your brain like that, as I know very well. Lockdown has been a time of personal growth for quite a few people, and definitely so for you.

Haha, remember the secret to passing the JET interview is Wabi Sabi.

Abroad in Japan

Right on, Chris. This is why I'm leaning towards photo-stories rather than single images. With a single image, there's so much expectation for it to contain everything (perfect composition, meaningful narrative, clear singular subject, artist's voice) within that one frame. With a photo-story, you have room to share the images that don't tick every single box, but yet... still have an emotional impact. A photo like the one you shared really conveys part of that feeling that is quintessentially "Tokyo". Love it.

I was having a bad month of videos where everything I posted bombed and became the worst performing video in years. It was rather odd to be honest! Fukushima documentary, Mascots, and a video with Natsuki all received about 50-60% the number of views as previous videos. I suspected the topic of the mascots was just spectacularly unpopular so I culled it. I realise now it deserves to be seen - sure it’s not groundbreaking content but people enjoyed it and that’s all that matters, regardless of the view count.

Abroad in Japan

I actually quite enjoyed this picture when you posted it earlier. I love images that give me the feeling of being in the moment but still keeping a certain level of artistry. Love the lighting and hate the E.T.! Why did you have to point it out because you’re right, I can’t I see that now!

I wasn’t scared of ET before but I think I might be now! But still a great photo 😄

Anna D

With a lotta eyes on your content, it's definitely a lot easier-said-than-done to just "post whatever you like and who cares how well it does." Audience engagement is important for any online content creator. Still, doing what you like/are passionate about is the core of what makes anyone's content so likeable, and it's good to see both the mascot video and this awesome picture from you.

Listening to the podcasts and I think some videos. So many people have been asking for the mascot video so I think it will do great. The timing was the only factor. Yay for not being your own worst nightmare!

Chris, as a newer Patreon member (so apologies if you covered this already) what was the issue with the Mascot Video? I had found it rather amusing as I was one of the ones that had managed to sneak in a view before it was pulled, and rather enjoyed it, and frankly, will now watch it again.. and probably laugh again. Damnit, you just had to point out that ET thing in that Billboard. >_<

Disturbed0Angel

I love it, imperfections are part of life and make us human. You're awfully hard on yourself, Chris. I understand it as I'm the same but your work is appreciated and makes me a happier human. Thank you.

Elaine Sparklemonkey Campbell

Why is there a poster for ET up in 2020?! I enjoyed the mascot video originally, so I'm glad you've decided to make it available again, thank you!

Michael Stackhouse

Surely you don't need to be reminded of the philosophy of wabi-sabi! Sometimes imperfection is what makes something beautiful.

Where your heart lies, your creativity will follow, no doubt about that. Your work is also appreciated and loved by all of us here!

I know this feeling very well. As an artist's model, I often receive photos that I'm like, "This looks really cool! But I know a lot of people won't agree with me." Then I post it anyway because who cares. At the end of the day, it's important for me to remember that any image I'm a part of will find its right audience and that quantity isn't what matters. I think the photo you posted is wonderful. It's like getting a behind the scenes look in a day in the life. Super glad you decided to put the mascot video back up, too. ♥️

Lady Long Limbs

Utterly horrifying! Yes Lightroom - absolutely love it.

Abroad in Japan

Imperfections to one person is perfection to another; and I hope you also realised that ET is always watching!! Asking where your pringles have gone is a very valid question, and one I find myself asking whenever I open a tub - the answer is usually in my belly 😉 I’m pleased the mascot video is back - I enjoyed that the first time, and am going to watch it again now

Becks

Sorry I didn't mean to ruin the photo for you by pointing out the scary face in the corner. It's a genuinely great pic, what do you use to edit them, lightroom?

Well, I know what I like, and I liked that photo 🤷‍♂️