38-57

Chapter 57: Suspension of Marriage 

The shaman said something to Soo-hyuk. 

“She’s asking if you’ve talked. What conversation?” he translated. 

I nodded at the shaman. She spoke again. 

“She’s asking if you confirmed that she doesn’t think the same as you. What does that mean?” Soo-hyuk relayed. 

Again, I nodded to the shaman. She spoke once more. 

“She’s asking what you plan to do. Ah… what is she talking about?” Soo-hyuk said. 

This time, I looked at Soo-hyuk and said, 

“Please tell her that I’ll try to open my heart like you, Doctor.” 

Soo-hyuk looked at me, puzzled, then turned to the shaman and spoke. The shaman responded again, and Soo-hyuk translated: 

“She’s asking if you’ll refrain from insisting on the customs and norms of where we used to live while you’re here.” 

I nodded at the shaman. She said nothing more and closed her eyes, entering meditation again. Soo-hyuk and I glanced at each other, then got up and left. Soo-hyuk asked me, 

“What is all this about? Ah… it’s so frustrating.” 

I smiled at him, thinking how sad my own smile must look. 

“Let’s go work now. We have to pull our weight. And from today, please help me learn the language of these people as quickly as possible. I feel like I can’t even think straight when I can’t communicate.” 

I dragged the still-confused Soo-hyuk off to join the tree-felling work. I thought I needed to use my body-only then could my mind endure. 

While we were working, we and the villagers took a break. As I sat in the shade, drinking water, my wife approached from somewhere and asked to talk. We went to a spot out of sight of others. She crossed her arms and spoke coldly. 

“Have you decided?” 

I nodded and said, 

“I think I was caught up in selfish thoughts for a while. I’ll try to understand you. And I’ll try to open my heart to these people and become a member of the tribe.” 

Her expression softened a bit, but I felt there was a hint of mockery in her eyes-though maybe that was just my imagination. 

“Good. Then, since it’s come to this, let’s make it clear. From today, let’s set aside the customs and rules of where we used to live. While we’re here, we’re each independent individuals, and we’ll do our best to become members of this community.” 

“What do you mean…?” 

She nodded. 

“Yes. Here, we’re not a married couple, just Hyun Serin and Jung Mooyil. We’re just people, just tribe members-nothing more, nothing less. Everyone is equal and the same. To me, you’re the same as any other tribe member, and so are Ho-cheol and the doctor. While we’re here, there’s no special relationship between us. Got it?” 

I stared at her blankly. She finally gave a small smile and put her hand on my shoulder. 

“Of course, when we go back, you’ll return to being my most beloved husband, so don’t worry. Okay, Professor Jung?” 

Professor Jung… I froze at those words. 

“I’m going back to work now. Oh, and tonight is the night of unity, so make sure you participate. I’m off to work.” 

She turned and disappeared somewhere. I stood there blankly for a moment, then went back to Soo-hyuk. He asked, 

“What did Professor Hyun want?” 

I took a drink from the water jug beside me. 

“She wants us to suspend our marital relationship from today.” 

Soo-hyuk wasn’t surprised. 

“Hm… Professor Hyun is really sincere. Actually, these people don’t like special relationships like that. She must have felt that such a special relationship was an obstacle to fully joining them.” 

I couldn’t understand how he could sympathize with my wife, but I didn’t say much. We resumed work and kept at it until just before sunset. After working, we washed up at the stream with the villagers, then carried the felled trees back to the village together. 

I watched what happened on the night of unity as an outsider. I thought maybe it would be easier to just let myself go into a trance like the others, rather than suffer through those wild scenes with a troubled heart. 

Toward the end of dinner, the drumming grew louder and faster. I thought, “It’s time.” As usual, the children left first. Someone added dry branches to the bonfire. I knew what that plant was. I steeled myself, knowing soon the smoke would lead me into a world of ecstasy. 

As expected, white smoke rose and the drumming intensified. There was no wind and a downward draft, so the smoke gathered around the bonfire without spreading. As the drumming sped up, people began to stand up one by one. Those who stood started to dangle their arms and sway, just as I’d seen before. 

My eyes stung and I frowned. Among our group, Soo-hyuk was the first to stand and start moving. Soon after, my wife and Ho-cheol stood up. As the smoke filled my lungs, I felt dizzy, as if I’d been drinking. Everyone’s faces were smiling, giggling, but all I could think was how sharp the smoke was, and I frowned. Looking around, I saw the other three all smiling-none of them looked bothered by the smoke like I was. After a while, my vision actually cleared and I started to feel a little elated. Just as I thought the smoke’s effects were kicking in, I was suddenly hit with nausea. I considered just throwing up in front of everyone, but I managed to get up and leave the group. My companions were already too far gone to care about my absence. 

Once I got out of the smoke, the nausea subsided. I thought I’d better get some water and staggered over to the water jug. As I drank, I noticed the jug of the alcohol we’d had the night before. Suddenly, I remembered what the researcher had said before we came: the smoke and the alcohol cancel each other’s effects. 

I looked around. Everyone was losing themselves in the thick smoke and not paying any attention to me. I opened the jug, poured myself a drink, and took a big gulp. After about a minute, the nausea was completely gone. It seemed to work. The smoke just didn’t agree with me-it made me nauseous before I could feel any euphoria. But the alcohol circulating in my blood made me feel more and more stable. 

I finished the rest of my drink in one go, poured another, and left for where my companions were. As I walked, I saw the villagers were even wilder than last time. The smoke was stronger tonight, and people’s hallucinations were more intense. Everyone was going wild, rubbing their bodies together, many were groping each other’s genitals or breasts. Some had thrown off their loincloths completely, others had them twisted to the side. Feeling uneasy, I went to where my group was. 

I saw my wife. Her loincloth was already undone, and in front of her stood a villager I’d never seen before, swaying. Just like last time, my wife had her head thrown back, swaying her body, while the man in front of her was groping her breasts. The man’s loincloth was twisted to the side, and as he moved, his large, long penis swung so much it was visible from the side and back. 

My wife looked up at the man groping her breasts and smiled. I went over and stood next to her, but she didn’t seem to recognize me at all. The man’s eyes were glazed over, lost in ecstasy. 

My wife wrapped her hands around the man’s neck and pressed her body closer. The man had a beard and I couldn’t guess his age. As my wife pressed closer, his large penis swung and touched her body. She looked down, and without hesitation, grabbed his penis. The two of them grinned and held each other, swaying. 

I stood right next to my wife, but she didn’t seem to notice me at all. Looking around, I couldn’t see Ho-cheol or Soo-hyuk. I felt another wave of nausea and finished my drink. The nausea subsided again.