beanytuesday

What the hell did I just read?

Superhuman Safety Squad #3

Superhuman Safety Squad #2

Superhuman Safety Squad #1

New Superhero Team I Invented

Guide To Pets

Okay, let’s run it down page by page:

Cover

Normal cover page. Nothing more to say about this one

Cats

Alternate version of the last joke...

Utilitarian Judge Slaps Shrimp Boat Captain With Five Hundred Million Consecutive One-Minute Sentences

What’s so funny about the famous Utility Monster thought experiment is that the same line of reasoning it expects to be viewed as a self-evidently absurd extrapolation of utilitarian logic is ALS...

2025 Political Rising Stars To Keep An Eye On

Political discourse is saved.

The original “Political rising stars” comic was the second comic I ever posted online, 7 years ago. In creating this sequel, I took great pains to ensure it ...

An Essay About Essays

I lied. You get another essay. 

This was inspired by Barrett Swanson’s latest essay “High & Dry”, which I very much enjoyed (all his stuff is great), though if you want to see ...

About Airports

There isn’t really any joke here. I wrote an essay, about something I like and have some thoughts on. So, there you go. Some more substantial stuff on its way in the near future. 

One ...

GUE 6: Lycanthropification

The original version of this comic had a much longer script that I ultimately decided to cut down for everyone’s benefit, in which the explanatory flashback would have the form of an Adam Curtis ...

“Concerning”; World’s Most Humanlike AI Program Kills Itself Attempting to Generate a 10 Quadrillion Pixel Image of A Hamburger For Seemingly No Reason

Can we get controversial for a second? I don’t think I’ve ever read or watched a single piece of fiction about artificial intelligence that was anywhere near as profound as it thought it was. P...

A Brief Guide To Twitch Streams

Have you ever been to the circus, watched one of the clowns perform, and thought to yourself, “Man, I really wish I could pelt this guy with red-hot coins”? Well, have I got the thing ...

GUE 5: Don't Tread On Me

A one pager? Unfortunately for you, yes. But fortunately for me, this tidy piece of something emulates the greatest literary genre the world has ever known— the high concept short story. There is...

A Review of Minneapolis' Only Bagel Place

Astute fans may remember that this isn’t the first time I’ve taken flyover states to task ov...

The Impression That I Get, As A Non-Wrestling Fan

Hey everyone. Been a minute. Let me start off by apologizing for my absence. I have been dealing with some pretty bad mental health stuff since moving to minneapolis— every problem I had bottled ...

5 Malevolent Foods

NOOO!!!!! YOU CAN’T CALL THIS A COMIC!!!!! YOU DIDN’T EVEN DRAW ANYTHING!!!!!

Oh yeah? Well the word comic comes from the Greek komos, which means ‘to revel’. And yall are re...

Guide To Satans: Patron-Exclusive Video Commentary

Hey guys! As promised, here is a video where I break down all the design decisions behind my character designs in this comic, as well as the textual support and inspiration behind them. There are a...

Guide To Satans

Hello everyone. As with the last couple comics, I have a lot of thoughts on this one, and plan on doing another patron-exclusive video deep-dive sometime in the next few days. Don't worry-- it's mo...

Unused Excerpt From 'The Townie' (reupload for higher resolution)

Unused excerpt from a short story I'm working on. I had the first couple pages for this already written when I decided that I wanted rework it and shift the narrative/thematic focus a little bit. A...

GUE Chapter 4.1: Checking In On The Mainlanders

Two beverage theory has single-handedly kept world-conquering civilizations afloat.

Notes From A Boston Man's Trip Midwest

Whilst in Minneapolis, I met with my buddy Leo for lunch at a place called Pizza Luce. Leo graciously offered to split a vegan pie with me, but I rebuffed him— this is a special occasion, and rul...

From Within A Semiburnt Diary

This is an idea I came up with during my bout of tendinosis, which I thought was a solid idea, but which, given the tone and subject matter, I couldn't really bring myself to work too hard on, give...

Two Friends Discuss Angels: Video Deep Dive

Sorry.

Two Friends Discuss Angels

No text commentary on this one-- check the Patreon feed for another video commentary where I go more in detail on some of the religious history here.

Bullshit Jobs

This is one of those rare occasions where the opinion of the comic protagonist is pretty much a complete opposite of what I believe in real life. Unorthodox class types are super cool and should ab...

GUE Chapter 4 Patreon Exclusive Director's Commentary

93 minutes long? I'm so sorry. Please feel free to put this on in the background while you draw or play video games.

I had a lot to say, so I opted for the video format. This won't be the new...

GUE Chapter 4: Living Dead

At long last!!!

Feel free to read in the browser, but for the ideal experience, download the attached PDF.

This post is the public upload; a patron-only special upload will be coming i...

My Gundam Comic

Come And See (This Awesome Robot)

One might consider this comic a sort of refutation of that popular 'wow, cool robot' meme, which I think gives the show a little too much credit. I’m told ...

Women's Sex Toys vs Men's Sex Toys

Sometimes, you go fishing in the creative wellspring and fish up something ugly. But what are you gonna do, go hungry? Sigh. More sex jokes, I guess.

Like with all of these sorts of ...