My thoughts on the election of the latest pope are put on hold as I deal with a copyright dispute concerning the unauthorized use of my image in a YouTube "thirst trap" video.
2025-05-13 14:47:07 +0000 UTC View PostMy thoughts on the election of the latest pope are put on hold as I deal with a copyright dispute concerning the unauthorized use of my image in a YouTube "thirst trap" video.
2025-05-13 14:46:21 +0000 UTC View PostI examine Cardinal Pizzaball's potential competition in the race to become the next pope. Plus, I discuss updates on the matter of last year's assassination of a lesser-liked Brian Thompson. And I ...
2025-04-28 17:54:22 +0000 UTC View PostI wish a fond farewell to Pope Francis, a.k.a. The Pope, and ruminate on the notion that his passing away might have something to do with my placing U.S. President Donald Trump under citizens' arre...
2025-04-24 15:42:59 +0000 UTC View PostAfter careful consideration of various crimes committed by the United States presidential administration, and with my role as a citizen as well as an award-pending investigative journalist in mind,...
2025-04-21 01:21:16 +0000 UTC View PostI solicit help from above in my quest to be accidentally added to a group chat discussing top secret McDonald's secrets.
2025-03-31 22:49:08 +0000 UTC View PostI show support for McDonald's adult-oriented menu items (like pizza) by donning a costume to purchase the new Minecraft adult Happy Meal.
2025-03-25 12:56:30 +0000 UTC View PostI attempt to trick McDonald's new artificial intelligence facial recognition technology by wearing a rubber fright mask of comedian/talent judge Howard Mandel's face.
2025-03-19 18:10:08 +0000 UTC View PostIn my pursuit to join the College of Cardinals so that I might cast a vote for a pizza-friendly pope, I chat online with a friendly priest from 2025-02-28 20:52:10 +0000 UTC View Post
With the current pope in ill health, I pursue the possibility of joining the College of Cardinals so that I might cast a vote for the next pope: Pope Pizzaballa I.
2025-02-26 15:29:19 +0000 UTC View PostIn an attempt to gain better access to government records regard McDonald's Pizza matters (whatever happened to it, etc.), I seek to join the Department of Government Efficiency.
2025-02-20 13:36:35 +0000 UTC View Post
Research on Reddit.com leads me to question whether McDonald's stopped serving pizza because too many people were eating the plastic ...
2025-02-14 19:33:01 +0000 UTC View Post
On the conclusion of an epic 3-part saga concerning the horrific Altoona-style pizza, I share the results of my accidental plastic consumption with the Kraft corporation and am rewarded handsomely ...
2025-01-31 21:25:52 +0000 UTC View Post
On the advice of the Kraft corporation, I contact the reference desk at my local public library to determine whether I am in bodily danger from having consumed a Kraft Single with the plastic wrapp...
2025-01-29 23:26:58 +0000 UTC View Post
I detail the shocking horror of Altoona-style pizza and suffer my own intestinal mishap in the process.
2025-01-25 04:02:32 +0000 UTC View Post
I contact a professional psychic to answer some questions regarding what to expect in the new year vis-à-vis the potential return of certain fast food items, etc.
2024-12-31 16:17:46 +0000 UTC View Post
I lament the largely negative impact on my life of sharing a name with a health insurance CEO who was forced to pass away in an act of vigilante justice. Plus, I replay the results of my investigat...
2024-12-25 02:54:52 +0000 UTC View Post
I explore the many disturbing coincidences between my investigative journalism program (or IJP) and the assassination of a lesser-known and, frankly, lesser-beloved Brian Thompson.
2024-12-10 16:33:54 +0000 UTC View Post
In light of the assassination of another Brian Thompson very near my home, I go into hiding in one of New York City's most central parks and update my listeners via a live "proof of life" broadcast...
2024-12-05 14:44:14 +0000 UTC View Post
To celebrate American Thanksgiving, I plan to generously give away turkeys with cavities full of educational literature.
2024-11-28 13:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post
In an effort to broaden my outreach, I appear as a special guest on a popular conservative radio show to discuss my concerns about the deep state's conduct re: the McDonald's Pizza matter.
2024-11-26 18:30:00 +0000 UTC View Post
After a political realignment, I explore the possibility of accepting advertising dollars from a nootropics company. But a brain enhancement pill accident involving my dog has me concerned about a ...
2024-11-20 14:52:35 +0000 UTC View Post
In part two of a special two-part event, I am once again experiencing election anxiety, exactly as I did eight years ago, when I first became a devout Christian by calling a prayer hotline.
2024-11-01 01:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
On part one of a special two-part event, I have named my new dog. But concern about his love of a devilish Halloween pet costume causes me to seek spiritual guidance.
2024-10-30 03:41:22 +0000 UTC View Post
I adopt a dog to aid me in my investigations. Plus, I look into a recent outbreak of E. Coli at McDonald's by mailing a laboratory a hamburger.
In preparation for my upcoming role as United States Pizza Czar, I assemble a uniform with the help of Brooks Brothers and the fine folks at Gorilla Glue.
2024-09-30 18:21:27 +0000 UTC View Post
While investigating the ongoing case of whether Kamala Harris really worked at McDonald's, I unfortunately break a cardinal rule of journalism by sending a source my nudes.
2024-09-27 18:41:30 +0000 UTC View Post
I give God Ben-David one more chance to answer my prayers by pleading with Him to remove violence from the hearts of humanity before I become a major political figure.
2024-09-16 21:15:34 +0000 UTC View Post
I investigate reports that Kamala Harris did not, in fact, work at McDonald's. In the process, I update my resume.
2024-08-30 19:58:45 +0000 UTC View Post
In light of recent McDonald's-related developments in presidential politics, I consider giving up my status as a journalist to become a government lackey.
2024-08-27 17:49:52 +0000 UTC View Post