Oh... it's you. The patrons?! We can't keep meeting like this.
In this episode, Joe finally brings Great British advertising to the hallowed American Superbowl. Log slips into a Helen-inspire...
2024-02-22 20:59:08 +0000 UTC View Post
Here at Regular Features, we like to barge our way through old hotel doors and stumble into the room to find nothing but an open window and a fluttering curtain, then saying "he's gone", before YOU...
2024-02-03 17:35:09 +0000 UTC View Post
Good evening patrons! It's us, the podcast you're kind to.
They say you can't get better than a Kwik Fit fitter, but I once saw a Kwik Fit fitter walk through a plate glass window in Letchwor...
2024-01-26 19:24:52 +0000 UTC View PostExcuse me? Excuse me. Please may I be excused. You must excuse me now. Oh no I've excused myself into my shorts. That's your fault, that is, actually, for not excusing me quickly enough. Now I've g...
2024-01-18 03:28:54 +0000 UTC View Post
Patrons! Can YOU guess a guy? Find out in this week's episode!
While you come up with your answers, here's what else: Log reflects on turning 50. Steve has a poem to say at you. Matt's though...
2024-01-10 00:23:32 +0000 UTC View Post
We love you patrons. Happy new year.
2024-01-03 03:29:46 +0000 UTC View Post
Merry Christmas, Patreon people - we love you so much. We recorded this one in person, and off-mic we only talked about YOU.
If your Christmas tradition isn't playing this podcast at full vol...
2023-12-23 14:27:10 +0000 UTC View Post
Patrons. This is a public service announcement.
Thousands of horses die needlessly giddy every year. That's why you should always tell your horse to "giddy down" after it's done giddyin...
2023-12-19 00:43:22 +0000 UTC View Post
Oh, don't go into that cupboard. Don't you dare open *that* cupboard. You won't like what we keep in *that* one. Oh no, no, no. That's where we keep the features. You oughtn't spill any of those. W...
2023-12-02 18:41:48 +0000 UTC View Post
If you have the hiccups, here is a tried and tested method for ridding yourself of the condition, cited by over one hundred old wives.
1. Stand on a railway arch
2. Listen to episode 548 o...
Howdy patreons! Howdy to you.
When all you've got is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. Stuck in traffic? Nail. Deadline to meet? It's a nail. Hungry? Better believe that's a nail. Wo...
2023-11-19 21:17:37 +0000 UTC View Post
Heya patrons!!
Gather round, gather round. No stop, that's too much gathering. Disperse... A little more... A little more. Well now you're far too dispersed, aren't you? You're gonna wanna gi...
2023-11-10 14:18:21 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello patrons! Good patrons. Kind patrons. Especially YOU.
In this episode, Steve tells the terrifying tale of a coupla big city teenage dirtbags who finally get what's coming to them.
...
2023-11-05 22:12:49 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello there, bees!
Here is our recent live show from The Canal Cafe Theatre. It's very good and we weren't hot AT ALL actually.
There's also a 2023-10-26 10:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello patreons! In this episode, Log rediscovers his love of music by ordering vinyl records from a spooky owl, and Joe is smitten with thyssenkrupp's floating aeroplane corridor gantry jobbies. St...
2023-10-19 23:07:13 +0000 UTC View Post
Shopping list:
- 2 beans
- 2 kilos Freddos
- A egg
- One feature about a traffic stop in Candyland
- One feature where Wolf Blitzer can identify Friends episodes
- One feature ...
Hello patrons. Or patreons, whichever. You've heard of good podcasts, now get ready for fast podcasts.
That's right, in this very special and speedy episode of Regular Features, Joe, Log and ...
2023-09-21 23:11:21 +0000 UTC View PostTrain drivers have announced two more strike dates on 30 September and 4 October, coinciding with the Conservative Party conference (hahaha, take THAT you To...
2023-09-17 11:03:20 +0000 UTC View Post
You are in a egg. Oh it is such a big a egg. But you want to be free of a egg. You crack open the tippy-top of a egg. Oh! It is so bright! It is so frightening! Perhap you would prefer to stay in a...
2023-09-08 16:18:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Afternoon patreons! I'm hungry so this will be a short description.
In this one, Joe fixes some (very) badly behaving dogs. Steve invite us for a sleepover with "the king of cool" Mister Dean...
2023-09-05 11:21:22 +0000 UTC View Post
Hi patrons!
You can keep your Emily Maitlises and your Frost/Nixons, because Regular Features is finally pivoting to hot hot politics. In fact, we are the only politics podcast that doesn't h...
2023-08-28 20:18:44 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello patrons. Sad emoji. This episode is dedicated to the legendary broadcaster Michael "Champ" Parkinson, whom we love.
Joe processes his grief with a feature about Lord Fauntleroy, Steve d...
2023-08-20 20:03:53 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey patrons, you know how a demure Helen O'Connell asks Dean Martin how he likes his eggs in the morning (in the hit song "How D'ya Like Your Eggs In The Morning"), and how it should be pretty obvi...
2023-08-11 10:34:40 +0000 UTC View Post
bushel [ˈbʊʃ(ə)l]
NOUN, BRITISH
A measure of capacity equal to 8 gallons (equivalent to 36.4 litres), used for corn, fruit, liquids, etc. Definitely NOT ju...
2023-08-03 11:14:25 +0000 UTC View Post
Patreon friends! We're actually going to officially announce this tomorrow, but we wanted you to know first because we fancy your little asses.
Regular Features will be returning to ...
2023-08-02 13:53:15 +0000 UTC View Post
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was letting Joe smell the well again, putting a picture of a transparent mouse in front of Steve, and giving Log unprecendented access to the private commun...
2023-07-26 23:07:12 +0000 UTC View PostHELLO PATRONS!!
In this episode of Regular Features, Log's been playing the hip new rocket propelled grenade Final Fantasy 16. Steve's been caught dumping aspartame into all your favourite su...
2023-07-18 16:46:24 +0000 UTC View PostIf you can't handle me at my hurdy, you don't deserve me at my gurdy.
In this one, Steve heads underwater to discover treasures untold. Joe comes head to head with a devil baby. Log submits h...
2023-07-08 19:34:14 +0000 UTC View Post
This week, as is tradition, we all got into three separate but no less sweaty rooms and recorded a podcast.
You will hear tales of sexy men in the gymtorium, even sexier men sitting in ...
2023-06-26 07:55:35 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey there Patreons! That's YOU! That's YOU that is!! Here's the episode description.
Left with a Succession-shaped void where his guts and arse used to be, Joe takes the hit HBO series to the...
2023-06-05 21:08:35 +0000 UTC View Post