Lilydusk

MPL Ep 127 - Sneak Preview

Tora's sweaty little darling baby girl is all wiped out 🥺🥺💕

The Secret Garden #204 (MPL Ep 124)

Urgh, sorry y'all! I was working on the full make-out scene in Ep 120 but I got caught up with production, and I don't have as much time to devote to Secret Gardens anymore 🤧 I'll work on that one in November instead, so I can won't have to rush it out. Hope y'all like this cute lil uncensored scene from Ep 124!! 💖💖

MPL Ep 126 - High-Res Artwork + Discussion

This might be the most fun I've had with a standalone scene in a long time! 

MPL Ep 126 - Sneak Preview

Undressing her already? Tsk tsk Tora

MPL Ep 125 - High-Res Artwork + Discussion

Ånyone feeling SUCKERPUNCHED YEY? I AM. For the plain, somewhat anti-climatic background and art this episode lol. But fear not, me and you guys. Finishing touches will be added soon 💕

MPL Ep 125 - Sneak Preview

Ivan don't wanna be clan leader because he can't wear his crocs no more 😂

MPL Ep 124 - High-Res Artwork + Discussion

I'm sure there were better panels to use for a preview but homeboy is severely sleep deprived and this is gold 😂

I'm having so much fun with this arc. After everything that happened tonight, Tora's relationship with Poppy has evolved. It's deeper, and Tora just became even sexier (to me, anyway). I feel like it's partially because of that heavy make-out just hours ago, partially because of Poppy's love confession and his own, and everything else that transpired on this day. He's become emboldened in a way that he hasn't been, since they first met. The difference is, it's no longer the arrogance of a man who has nothing to lose, but the strong, quiet confidence of a man who's found the road that'll finally lead him home. When Poppy bandages him, she sees it as a routine, everyday action; Tora sees something extraordinary, and he expresses it through the intensity of his gaze, and his silence that conveys so much -- because when you've connected to that deepest part of yourself, the part that even you thought didn't exist, words become trivial and meaningless. Just some thoughts I had while working on this episode <3 Poppy and Tora have been playing nice and writing themselves recently, which gives me distance to analyse them a little more deeply lol.

Y'all never fail to crack me up and keep me pumped TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!! <33

MPL Ep 124 - Sneak Preview

I was waiting for the perfect preview panel 😏

MPL Ep 123 - High-Res Artwork + Discussion

HELLO LOVES I'll save everyone the trouble and clarify upfront that no, that lady is nobody's mom. Lol

MPL Ep 123 - Sneak Preview

Every panel is a spoiler!

The Secret Garden #202-203 "MPL Ep 120 (Uncensored)"

MPL Ep 122 - High-Res Artwork + Discussion

I know at least one person wants to see this face 😂 Revising artwork tomorrow.

MPL Ep 122 - Sneak Preview

something to do with a pillow

MPL Ep 121 - High-Res Artwork + Discussion

Y'all, we're transitioning into uncharted territories!

MPL Ep 121 - Sneak Preview

Don't worry y'all I think she'll be okay 😂

The Secret Garden (MPL Ep 120 - Extra)

A few of y'all were asking about this panel -- I forgot to clarify that it was from a scene that deviated from my original script, and I reverted back to the original because...

...Heck, I might as well show it to y'all now 🤣🤣

MPL Ep 120 - High-Res Artwork + Discussion

CAUTION: This episode contains themes of death and self-harm.

I have SO FREAKING MUCH to say...and also none at all. The episode shall speak for itself 😩😩😩😩💜💙❤️💜💙❤️💜💙 Please share your thoughts, it keeps me pumped to make more!!

Gonna make some artwork revisions soon-ish. Probably doing a NSFW Secret Garden special for this one too!! 🥰🥰

MPL Ep 120 - Sneak Preview

👁👄👁

The Secret Garden #199 + #200

Happy 200th SG!! 🎉🎉 I was gonna do two of these illustrations, but I spent a stupid amount of time learning how to paint abs and this one's not even finished yet. Will probably make more NSFW pin-up illustrations like these for future posts, I'm taking a break from the pr0n lol. Full-sized illustrations attached, progress shots below for your entertainment!

MPL Update

Update: Hi again, my dears <3 I thought I'd send out a response to your well wishes and encouragement. You guys really are the best, thank you so much for being who you are. I contemplated for days if I should just keep this post brief and impersonal, but I'm glad I didn't. You've lifted a weight off my shoulders thanks to your goodwill and kindness. I'll read and re-read all your comments -- gonna internalise the good shit to drown out the bad!

Also, this post wasn't meant to drag Webtoon, y'all gonna get me into trouble lmao! In a word of fairness, I wouldn't be where I'm at without Webtoon, and none of you would have heard about MPL if not for Webtoon's marketing campaigns, or found me on Patreon. So to give credit where it's due, I gotta say I'm as grateful to Webtoon and my editor as I am to all you guys. They're a business, them's the rules, I don't expect to be given exceptional treatment; I also knew upfront what was expected from me, so I can't say I was (completely) blindsided. And I'm no saint, myself. I love my gold as much as the next person, and Webtoon has taken good care of me financially. So I really can't complain (even though i do lol) 🙏🙏

In retrospect, where things really went downhill was during my S2 break when I pushed myself to keep working but should have used this chance to rest. It was a domino effect from that point on; the rest it was me desperately trying to catch up and put out the fires.

The problem might lie with them, BUT it could very well be me. And until I learn the lessons I need to learn, the same situations would crop up again elsewhere. For now, all I can do is to keep an open mind to see how this pans out <3 I'm a scorpio, maybe I'll pull off off that phoenix thing and push myself to greater heights? Maybe I won't? Who knows? Let's find out in the next episode of WHAT IS LIFE jfc

---

Hey loves, first things first -- I've requested for another 2 weeks break (this time voluntarily) to think things through. Things are kinda up in the air right now so I won't promise a return date just yet. Also, do bear in mind that I'm under NDA and disallowed from disclosing anything that involves Webtoon.

I've stepped away from social media because I was in a position where I had to be accountable for matters not within my control and not my decision, and had to provide transparency even though I'm not legally allowed to do so. So I figured it's best to step away altogether. But y'all have pledged to receive updates from me, and it's only right that I continue with them on Patreon. I'll try to give a more detailed account without revealing anything that would further violate the NDA.

I'm a tough cookie at heart; this post isn't to score any sympathy points, but to let y'all as my Patrons know where I'm at right now, so you can continue making an informed decision on whether or not to continue your pledge to me.

Long story short -- I've been working on MPL for 5 years now. Mentally and emotionally, I'm doing so much better. But for MPL Webtoon production-wise, things are uncertain right now. Whatever decision I make will always be to preserve my full artistic integrity: so I'll continue creating art and sharing them online with a peaceful, happy mind; so I'll never grow bitter or resentful; so I'll create from a place of confidence, gratitude and humility; so I'll never be swayed by the tyranny of capitalism and consumer expectations.

That's my update in brief, read on for the detailed account. I guess I'll start right from the beginning. Buckle up, y'all. This made me tear up while writing, lol. Might delete later.

--

On hindsight, Season 1 went smoothly because it was during the pandemic lockdown, and I could work on MPL to my hearts content.

Season 1 ended. I was optimistic, at the top of the world, filled with hope and enthusiasm.

During this hiatus, I was advised to create assets and optimise my workflow, and if possible, to create a production studio setup. But I wasn't told HOW, so I figured everything out on my own. Fully confident that this would work out well, I plunged right in. I started working on a library of assets from scratch. I hired a new "head-assistant" in hopes that they would take much the load off my shoulders. I looked into multiple ways of optimising my workflow, my productivity. While no episodes were published, I continued working daily throughout the hiatus.

Season 2 started. The head-assistant I'd hired had failed to do their job, and I had to let them go. Six months of preparation work went down the drain. I now spent my time in between episodes doing damage control, fixing the bungled artwork assets my ex-assistant had been submitting. I realised that increasing manpower was a bad solution; I wasn't just the project manager, I was also the head-production staff. By this point, I concluded I had no interest in setting up a production studio. By outsourcing 80% of the work, I'd end up with a soulless commercial product, and this wasn't it for me. I gave up on the production studio idea.

Halfway through, another assistant left. Still in between weekly deadlines, I re-planned the production workflow, re-distributed the tasks, re-trained my remaining assistants and coached them in new art techniques and skills to cover for the previous assistants, while allowing them time to adjust to their new job scopes. Still working 70-80 hours per week, this time to compensate for the decreased manpower. Still trying my best to meet weekly deadlines. By then, I was thoroughly burnt out. The deadlines were giving me panic attacks . My OCD flared up and I spent hours working on a single detail that no one else would have noticed. Still in the middle of season 2, I started talk-therapy,  but it was a bad fit and I was in worse shape than when I started.

A few months later two very dear, beloved family members passed away in close succession. This was when I ended MPL Season 2 abruptly. For the first time in 2 years, MPL production came to a complete halt. I also ended therapy, and did the healing work on my own with the support of my husband, family and loved ones. Spent the entire year recovering from complicated grief, work burnout, depression and GAD.

One year later, I felt more like myself again. Season 2 started. Things were looking up. I'd figured out how to reduce production time to 20-30 hours per week. But this time, the deadlines were stricter. Late submissions meant the episodes were cancelled.

And this is where we're at right now.

If you've read this far, thank you, and I'll leave you with this <3

Announcement: MPL Hiatus till 25th August (this month)

Hello loves! I've had discussions with Webtoon since last week and just received a final confirmation; my apologies for the delay and confusion if you've read my earlier post! That schedule has been scraped and MPL will resume later this month on August 25th. I'm also taking a volitional break from Instagram and will only be active and available here on Patreon where I'll continue posting updates and previews as usual, so do stick around! I'd elaborate more but can't because of my NDA with Webtoon -- much thanks and appreciation for your patience, y'all! <3

Announcement: New MPL WEBTOON publishing schedule

Hello loves! Webtoon has approved my proposal for a new MPL publishing schedule. Instead of 4 episodes per month, there will be 3 episodes per month + a break every 1st week of the month. Fast-Pass episodes will also be released according to this schedule. This should hopefully allow me to publish consistently with fewer pauses in between, AND I'll have additional time to work on more Patreon content for you guys. Fingers crossed and wish me luck, y'all 🤞🤞

NOTE: The new schedule starts this month and this is Break Week, so no MPL episodes this week <3

MPL Ep 119 - High-Res Artwork + Discussion

The episode is both more colourful and also darker now (literally, maybe metaphorically) lol. Also, if anyone missed my (good news!!) announcement post, Ep 120 will be published next week, due to my new MPL publishing schedule.  (Also stuck a reminder banner at the top because a few of y'all have been asking, lol)

Tora: You know what else is mine? 😏 HER TIG OLD BITTIES

Episode should be up soon! I'll touchup some stuff later on and re-upload again -- it takes away a lot of pressure to get things right the first time round. I think I'll go with this arrangement in future as well!

Also, I shifted the preview image panel to the next episode because it flows better that way...so y'all gotta wait again, haha sry. Anyway we're approaching a climatic scene that's been sitting in my plot folder for 5 years! If you've been here since prehistoric times (ie. long enough to know what I'm talking about), thank you! 😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏  If you're new here, thank you as well !! 😊😊❤️❤️

MPL Ep 119 - Sneak Preview

Patrons: Say less, Lily

MPL Ep 118 (revised) - Sneak Preview

Hello loves! I was going to just edit some wonky bits of artwork but I ended up reworking the whole episode, because I didn't push the visuals enough, because this is actually a pretty emotional scene and so are the next few ones. I'll post a Patreon update when the revised episode is uploaded on Webtoon, hopefully by tomorrow <3

(More excited than I sound, but I'm chronically tired and trying to conserve energy by emoting less, so don't mind me 😂) 

MPL Ep 118 - High-Res Artwork + Discussion

Here's Tora's bathroom scene although it's a little depressing lol. Anyway hope y'all like, and I'd love to hear your thoughts <3

(Fast Pass) MPL Ep 118 - Sneak Preview

Shit, meet fan 

The Secret Garden #197 + #198 “Thirdeye, Dear (Pt 1)”

Tiny titties, it's our time to shine!! ✨(.|.)✨ 👏👏👏 

Thank you loves, I'm super glad y'all liked the preview episode 🥰🥰 I finally came up with a (tentative) story title - "Thirdeye, Dear". Still experimenting with this one...it's my first time drawing an actual fantasy comic, lol. Let's see how far I can take it! I just adjusted my desk ergonomics and the new setup is so much comfier and I'm on a roll 🙌

p.s. Its name is Elvis

Poll: do y'all want updated-post notifications?

Hey loves, just some housekeeping stuff. I wanted to find out a couple things.

1) "$5 NON-FAST PASS" TIER:
Do y'all want a notification when "MPL Sneak Previews" and "MPL High-Res artwork" posts are unlocked?

2) ALL TIERS:
Do y'all want a notification when posts are updated with revised content?

Please vote, tyvm :)

MPL Ep 117 - High-Res Artwork + Discussion

This episode and the next few ones will have rainy-day drama lol 😭😭💔💔