Bitter Karella

Midnight Pals: just bad shit

[at a scottish castle]
JK Rowling: finally! the frivolouss lawssuit i funded has finally sstripped transs women of all rightss
Rowling: this callss for a celebration
Rowling: [puts on reco...

Midnight Pals: the trans mummy returns

King: hey clive i read online that you were pro trans rights
Clive Barker: what an odd thing to say
Barker: why ever would you feel the need to remark on that
Barker: when it's the ...

Midnight Pals: The Truth

Kit Power: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the song that makes you tell the truth
Power: so there's this song
Power: if you hear it, you have to al...

Midnight Pals: The Divine Flesh

Drew Huff: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the divine flesh
Huff: ok so imagine that there's this lovecraftian abomination cosmic horror elder god
...

Midnight Pals: O Canada

Poe: so things are
Poe: things are pretty crazy these days
Poe: so crazy it's hard to even see the point in getting together with some friends
Poe: around the campfire
Poe: to talk and ...

Midnight Pals: SIGMA

[at the White House]
Donald Trump: so as i was saying we're putting tariffs on the moon
Trump: i know people like the moon
Trump: it's a beautiful moon
Trump: but it's not pulling its w...

Midnight Pals: No Fun Allowed

Margery Lawrence: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of how Pan came to little ingleton
Lawrence: ok so picture this
Lawrence: there's this minister wh...

Midnight Pals: JK on Aces

[scottish castle]
JK Rowling: [in a darkened room, staring into the dying embers in her fireplace] ssso
Rowling: finally it comess to thisss
Rowling: julia donaldssson
Rowling: it w...

Midnight Pals: Gruffaloed

[at a scottish castle]
JK Rowling's agent: hey jk i uh have some news
Rowling: ahhh cynthia!
Rowling: its been a really long time sssince we did a bit with you
Rowling: bringing bac...

Midnight Pals: Elon Steps Back

King: Submitted for the
King:
King: sorry i was expecting to be interrupted
Poe: by elon?
King: yeah by elon
King: that's weird, he hasn't tried to be my friend for over 2 hours...

Moonflow... the trailer!

It's happening! Moonflow is coming! In case you're unaware (and how coul...

Midnight Pals: Weirdgirls

Chloe Johnson: open wide, horror fans
Johnson: cuz here's a new sheriff in town
Johnson:you've heard of hopepunk
Johnson: you've heard of sweetweird
Johnon: you've heard of noblebright ...

Midnight Pals: Velvet Night

Silvia Moreno-Garcia: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the velvet night
Moreno-Garcia: i mean the night that is velvet
Moreno-Garcia: the night that...

Midnight Pals: Disruption

Stephen King: Submitted for the
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyyy itsa me, elon!
Musk: and ima not here to be your friend Stephano king
Musk: ima here inna my official capacity asa da...

Midnight Pals: Another Row

[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: did you all see my tweet?
Allison Bailey:
Helen Joyce:
Kathleen Stock:
Rowling: i am sstill tweeting my th...

Midnight Pals: the power of story

Elon Musk: eyyy stephano king
Musk: we besta friends ey?
Stephen King: goshdarn it elon leave me alone!
Musk: eyyy i aska da grok to draw a picture of us together
King:

King: mayb...

Midnight Pals: Disruption

King: well, things are pretty bad these days
King: but if there's one up side
King: it's that elon's really too busy to
Elon Musk: [rising up out of bushes] eyyyy stephano king!

King...

Midnight Pals: Da Picts

Grant Allen: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of Pallinghurst Barrow
Allen: it's about a scientist who's going to a scientist convention
Allen: to talk...

Midnight Pals: New Snape

JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i have big newssss
King: oh no
Rowling: it'sss about harry potter!
King: oh!
King: i didn't expect that
King: well that sounds just fine then!<...

Midnight Pals: Kids Lit

Stephen King: hey guys guess what?
King: maurice sendak and me are teaming up to tell a bold, original new story!
Poe: oh yeah? what's that?
King: hansel and gretel
Poe:

King: i w...

Midnight Pals: How'd he do that

Lovecraft: hey everyone i've got exciting news!
Lovecraft: i'm gonna be collaborating on a story with harry houdini!
King: harry houdini the famous magician and escape artist?
Lovecraft...

Midnight Pals: Willow Creek

Bobcat Goldthwait: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of Willow Creek
Stephen King: great! I could do with a laugh!
Goldthwait: it's not funny
King...

Midnight Pals: The Machine Fucks

EM Forster: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the machine stopping
Forster: imagine, if you can, a future where everyone just posts online all the time...

Midnight Pals: Coffee

[at unicorn fuck club]
JRR Tolkien: ugh everyday the news is worse and worse!
Tolkien: it seems that certain hunnish practices have taken root in America
CS Lewis: oh that sounds bad
To...

Midnight Pals: Maelstrom

Poe: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the descent into the maelstrom
Poe: it's about a guy who survives a descent into the maelstrom
Barker: why'd you just give...

Midnight Pals: Sandwiches

JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: exciting newsss out of America these daysss!
Rowling: we're banning transs women from ssport because of their innate biological advantage
Rowling: we're...

Midnight Pals: Harry Potter series

JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i have exciting newssss
Rowling: there's a new harry potter sseriesss coming out!
Rowling: you all ssstill love harry potter, don't you?

Rowling: ...

Midnight Pals: Rings of Power

[at unicorn fuck club]
GRR Martin: hey jrrt we just saw that peter Jackson movie
CS Lewis: yeah it was pretty good
JRR Tolkien: bleh
Tolkien: they never make the hobbits hot enough
T...

Midnight Pals: Wizards

JRR Tolkien: submitted for the approval of unicorn fuck club, i call this the similrian
Tolkien: i know that you all had a lot of questions about middle earth after LOTR
Tolkien: so this stor...

Midnight Pals: Reviews

David A. Truesdale: hey it's me David a truesdale, editor of tangent online, fearless advocate of political INcorrectness
Lovecraft: whoa!
Truesdale: so watch out, snowflakes!
Lovecraft: w...