Tommy Bruce

Hunt Triptych (I'm home)

Finally back on desert ground in Albuquerque, which means I can finally start going through my images from the trip. All 5000 of them! I've only started into my first few days of photos, but I was really excited to look at the predator prey shoot.

It didn't occur to me until looking at the results, but this series really reminds me of cruising in a weird way. As in, gay male cruising for sex in public parks. I like the idea of thinking about Atmus willingly entering into this situation, that maybe there is some kind of pleasure in the danger of it. Who knows if that will come through to anyone else? Lol.

Anyway, I'm really excited about this kind of arrangement for these photos. I am going to be in a little group show this fall, might end up showing this as a series in the exhibition. Just thinkin out loud!

More to come in the following weeks. 

PS, I just previewed the post and it really compresses the image. Check the attachement for a larger version of the set!

Atmus gets caught

Last night I finally had a chance to look through the images from a shoot I’d been planning for months. In addition to making tons of props for these images, I had already spent a day down in Florida location scouting and planning with my (furry) friend Rosco, who is a commercial photographer, who agreed to help me with this shoot. We woke up bright and early to be on set by about 7AM. Our intention was to beat the heat, though by 7 it was already 80 degrees out and crazy humid 🥵.

The shoot felt like a big step for me in moving away from being a singular functioning artist, into more of a director using various resources. Between the photographer, the costumes and the models performing within them, it was interesting to consider how much I was pulling from other creators to conduct my own vision.

Anyway, it was exciting! The image above is still a preview, a cell phone snap of a computer screen. I’m really itching to get back to ABQ soon and to get working on these things in my studio. I’ll be back on monday, though I still have a few more plans for the trip!

Thanks again for your support through this project everyone, it has been a tremendous help!

Xoxo,

Atty

Disney Meltdowns

I’m sitting now in Old Pecos Bill’s, an eatery in FrontierTown. I came here to find some AC to sit in while I eat a stupid-sweet dessert from the nearby Sleepy Hollow Bakery; an ice cream sandwich with two swirled cinnamon churros as the conveyor. I didn’t get a photo of it because after 15 minutes of searching for a table, the only open one I found was way in the back of Pecos Bill’s in a corner that is so dark that it seems like an accident. By the time I sit the sandwich is a half-melted mess anyway. It was as good and bad as it sounds. Fried bread and sugar and dairy.

While I’m sitting I can’t help but overhear an argument among a family sitting at the table next to me. I can’t make out the details. One child, maybe a teenager or college age, is making some kind of frustrated plea about someone else’s shitty behavior on the trip. Another woman (mom or older sister?) cuts in to shut down the smoldering argument: “We are not having this conversation here!”

Meltdowns at Disney World are so common that they start to feel like white noise. Walking around the park in the heat, it’s hard to go 20 feet without seeing a child scream and throw something at the ground. Or a dad tossing his hands up and suppressing curse words, walking in a little circle to try and blow off steam in any socially acceptable manner possible. It’s morbidly entertaining to watch sometimes, but at the same time I can’t blame them. I’m currently on my 5th day trip into Disney during my visit (6th day at a park, counting a day spent at Universal Studios), and every single time the park has been packed to the gills with visitors. Even rides that aren’t popular have sizable waits. On top of that, the heat and humidity is nearly untenable. Combine that with the money and effort necessary for a family of four to even set foot in the park from out of town, and everybody is pretty reasonably set to explode.

Last Monday I found myself unexpectedly in the middle of my own Disney meltdown. Last Monday was my first attempt at a solo day in Disney World. The morning started fine, I rode a few coasters, pulled out my poncho when the rain started, took lots of notes. In two days my partner was set to join me in Florida for the project. That day I found out that she was changing her plans last minute to cancel her trip. The impact was doubly strong because this news was coming on the tail end of a long rocky patch leading up to the trip. It felt like the first big step into our breaking up (it was, two days later we ended things.) The news from her sent me into a panic, it felt impossible to focus on the park, which in turn felt dire—IE Internal monologue: If you wallow in your disintegrating relationship and bust this grant-funded project time, no one’s gonna trust you with the next grant!

It was during that time that I realized another crucial aspect of the Disney Meltdown: the lack of privacy. While calling my mom on the phone I started to cry, but couldn’t let myself comfortably for lack of a place to even turn my face away from a crowd. Short of a bathroom stall there’s just about nowhere you can have your eyes open and see nobody. Quiet is also a non-existent setting in the park. Headphones and music while sitting and looking at a screen is the closest thing I can find to alone time.

It’s been about a week since my personal meltdown, and it’s been a good and bad thing to be here during this break-up. On the one hand I can’t help but remember when having some experiences that she was supposed to be here with me. On the other, being occupied with art and writing feels like one of the better coping mechanisms for heartbreak. I hope this doesn’t sound so bleak or like I’m wishing for sympathy. Moreso I am trying to take my lemons and make lemonade.

Disney cops

One of the first things you encounter when you get to Disney World is the bag check and security officers. When I saw the first officer I figured I was looking at police, and at that I thought “Wow, that is an extremely classic looking police officer.” Blue shirt, shiny badge, octagonal cap. It’s only on closer inspection of the emblems that I realize these aren’t police badges, but disney security. I recall quickly Walt Disney’s championing (or fetishizing) of American culture. The whole scene makes sense now. They aren’t supposed to look like real cops, they’re supposed to look like the fantasy ideal of the friendly TV police officer. Every security officer I spoke to was cheery and kind too, nothing like a real cop. I wonder if they too are called “Cast Members” like all the other employees at Disney World.

Pride at Disney

This is maybe the second year that Disney World has sold Pride merchandise. None of the gear actually says anything about pride or LGBTQ people, but apparently a small portion of sales on the items is donated to GLSEN (The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education network). Still, I couldn’t help but notice the arrangement of these models wearing the pride gear. Man, woman, and child. I imagine a same sex couple of models would be a bridge too far.

Currently, the merch is more like a dog whistle than anything else. People who know what pride is know what the rainbow means. The people who don’t know just see a pretty rainbow. I’m not thinking much about adults here, mostly kids.

Inside a Disney store I watch a father carrying his young son looking at the pride Mickeys. The son exclaims “Rainbow Mickey!” Pointing to the toy. His dad acknowledges his son’s interest, but doesn’t respond otherwise, and they move on. I can’t help but feel this isn’t support so much as rainbow capitalism.

My first time at Disney

(Image: Me with Minnie and Mickey, private character meet-and-greet)

It’s the day after my first trip (and the day after my birthday!). Robin and I woke up around 7am, were in the park by 9am, and left around 7:30pm. It was surreal to finally see the park after spending the last six months researching, visualizing, and imagining what it would be like. As I write that sentence, the reality is not lost on me that my experience is hardly unique. Many families who goes to Disney World for vacation likely put a similar amount of planning and forethought into their trip, the price of a visit necessitates careful planning or else financial oblivion. The academic ground of this venture feels similarly well-trod. When I say “I’m going to make work about Disney,” I might as well say I’m going to make work about America. As in, yeah buddy what a fresh idea.

So, when I walked in and saw the castle in the (fake forced perspective) distance from the entrance to the magic kingdom and I thought “Wow, there it is!” I can’t help but feel they were ready for my reaction. Or that it was willed from me precisely. Similarly, for all my criticisms that I have of Disney Corp and Disney World (which I will definitely get into), I can’t help but smile and melt in the presence of Mickey and Minnie, dressed in their 90th birthday celebration outfits, hugging me—on my birthday, no less. I couldn’t frown if I wanted to.

I wrote tons of notes at the park, took a few photos, and saw many potential images that I will have to plan to return to capture. Rather than doing entire daylong recaps which would be meandering and scattered, I think I’m going to focus on individual posts for isolated experiences and topics moving forward. I think that will give me freedom to think out loud without having to fit things together neatly.

Right now I’m going to try to get to bed. Tomorrow I’m visiting Epcot with another Furry friend, Aisu, Aisu is another avid Disney/theme park fan, and she’s taking me specifically to see the live show for Coco in Epcot Mexico. Tomorrow will be Aisu’s 90th viewing of the show. It will also be her 91st viewing as we are planning to see the show twice in a row. I’m looking forward to talking with her about her passion for the show, and hearing her perspective on the park in whole.

One more photo for today. Here’s me and Robin on the Space Mountain coaster. Robin knew right where the photo would take, I was too busy being in the moment for the first time. Again, I don’t know if I could have helped it.

Day 2—Disney and Florida weather, workday in the studio

Image: Mallory’s desk, Disneyland Engagement buttons. A few weeks back I roomed with Robin and Mallory at Biggest Little Fur Con, a big Furry convention in Reno, NV. The two drove cross country to the convention, and had several planned stops on the way back too. Drunk one night, Mallory let me in on her secret plan to propose to Robin a few days after the convention, while the two were at Disney Land in LA. A few days later I saw the giddy cell phone photos of her proposal and Robin’s excited acceptance. Apparently the park gives you little buttons with the date on them for you to remember the occasion. 

Tomorrow is our first planned day at Disney. It’s also my birthday (also Donald Trump’s birthday which sucks, but anyway). I heard I’ll get a button that tells everyone it’s my birthday, and that park employees are good at wishing you happy birthday. I am as excited for the day as I am nervous. Going to make work at Disney World feels a bit like David and Goliath. Except Goliath doesn’t even perceive me as a threat—more like a profit-center, and he’s already had a thousand books and films written about him. But, no use fretting about what could come.

One problem on the horizon seems a little more certain: the weather. 

Every single day for almost my entire trip in Orlando is calling for Thunder Storms. I suppose it’s to be expected for the season, but I definitely wasn’t planning on being rained in for every day. From what Robin and Mallory have told me, a little rain at Disney isn’t the worst thing. It’s common enough that the park can deal, and if anything it might mean a little cooler day. I have a waterproof camera bag and a poncho packed, I just hope I’m still able to get my camera out to shoot enough!

On the bright side of things, Robin and Mallory’s house is a super interesting space to inhabit and photograph. To help with my shooting, my other Furry friend, Rosco, lent me some speedlights and stands to use during my trip. It’s been fun to play around with them today while Robin and Mallory work on suits in the studio.

“Clamantha” the taxidermy otter who sits in the frontroom, and who gets different decorations for each holiday season. Sidenote: it’s maybe obvious, but these are cell phone pics of my Nikon screenback. It’s the best quick solution I could come up with for sharing work with y’all as I make it and while I’m away from my studio computer setup.

That’s all for now. Looking forward to sharing some reflections from disney day 1 tomorrow!

Airport travel thoughts. Also, I’m here!

(Image: Whiskey begging for attention while I write a grocery list)

After flying out of Albuquerque Tuesday morning, I have a two hour layover in Houston Airport. Most of my travel in airports is for Furry conventions. When I’m traveling for those I usually end up playing “spot the furries”. There isn’t a single look to furries, but there are certain giveaways. Some are obvious. Adults carrying a stuffed animal, t-shirts from recognizable furry artists. An ominous lumpy pillowcase that’s definitely concealing a fursuit head. There are other traits I look for that start to feel very judgemental. But I’m still usually right. Nerdy men without female partners age 20-35, bright colored dyed hair (on any gender), a haircut that looks like its kept for efficiency of wear under a big costume head. Unacceptable normal-public fashion choices (Top hat, PJs). When I arrived at ABQ Sunport this morning I found myself looking for flags before I remembered I wasn’t traveling for a furry event. I wondered what it would look like to do the same for Disney travelers.

The question has answered itself in the Houston airport. There is a scattered group of about 30 women and girls, all wearing the same shirt. Teal with yellow disney-script that reads “Disney Bound”. I asked a group of adult women what the shirt was for. “We’re going to Disney”. Duh. I asked about the group and she said “They’re dancing. It’s a girlscout troupe.” “Oh, cool.” I am sure I looked like a creep at this point, or at least, I am sure that these ladies were looking at me like I was one. “I’m an artist and I’m doing a project about Disney, that’s why I’m curious.” No reaction. “It’s my first time going to Disney. I’m excited.” “Oh you’ll love it! Have fun.” I walked away. I’m sure there’s absolutely nothing interesting about a mid 20’s fruity looking guy asking a group of women about their obviously-going-to-disney plans.

I walk elsewhere in the boarding gate and can’t help but overhear another conversation about the park. A boomer white southern couple is telling a young Indian couple and their daughter about all the parades they need to see when they visit the magic kingdom. The little girl is thrashing against an airport chair in excitement, her bag has a marker drawing of Minnie shoved into a display pocket on the front. Several people are wearing Mickey/Minnie hats. I accidentally stole one of the girlscouts seats when I sat down to write this. Now I’m surrounded by girlscouts and feel weird writing about them, I hope they don’t look over.

Robin, one of my hosts for my trip picked me up from the airport. We talked about our plans to visit the park, and about her work at universal studios, which is a minor support beside her main income as a working Furry artist selling illustrations, merchandise and costumes. On our way home, Robin points out the routine nightly Disney Fireworks. I can just barely see them through the rainy window.

We pick up Mallory—Robin’s partner, and my other close friend—after her work, and head back to the house for the night. I meet their three cats, and learn their associated sub-descriptions. Whiskey (the teddy bear), Juno (dumb as rocks), and Tigerbean (the asshole). The progeny of their nicknames is make apparent quickly. Individual bios on the cats (and Robin and Mallory duh) to come later. Right now I have to help friends make dinner, and I can’t sit and write anymore. TTYL!!!

Sally: former Disney-Mom, expert trip-planner

I'm posting this today on the eve of my departure to Florida. June 11th–July 1st I'll be in Orlando, FL, living with two Furry friends—Robin and Mallory—while I spend as much time at Disney World as I can. I'll be making photos and conducting  research, looking at Disney World as a mirror/contrast to Furry culture. I'm excited to use my patreon as a place to blog and share my thoughts along the way. I'll be away from my computer this whole time, so I won't be able to share much finalized/edited photo work, but expect lots of writing, sketches and behind-the-scenes content.

Pictured here is my friend, Sally, who has been a kind of base-control assistant in planning this Disney project. She has also been a generous and thoughtful interview subject. She has told me a lot about her own experience falling into (and out of) Disney World fandom, and has offered her strategic expertise to aid my efforts to plan my Disney with maximum efficiency.

We met through a mutual friend over drinks near the start of the new year. While hanging out, I mentioned that I had just submitted my Disney project grant proposal to my university. This led Sally to tell me about her "Disney Phase" that came out of her (self-labeled) mid-life crisis. She told me about falling in with the (seemingly Mean-Girls-esque) Disney "Marathon Moms"—women who convinced their husbands to pay for trips to Disney World, on account of the Disney World Marathons that they were training for (and definitely not because they wanted to get away from home and go drink at the resort bars in lala land). She told me she felt restless after retiring from her job as a librarian to become a stay-at-home mom for her two kids. She told me she dyed her hair blue during this phase too.

After I found I was awarded with the grant, we planned a visit over coffee to talk more about her story, and more about how to win at Disney vacations. We met up at a very pinterest-able brunch spot in near downtown Albuquerque. When Sally generously offered to pay for my meal, she flashed me her credit card, sparkly lime green with an image of tinker bell on the front. 

Over brunch, Sally told me more about what she liked about Disney World. She told me she liked Disney, but she wasn't really obsessed with any one story or character. What she really liked was the park, and even more specifically, planning the trips to the park. For Sally, Disney World is a chaotic space that one could easily get lost in. She is up front about her anxieties around big crowds and public spaces. But underneath the chaos of Disney World is a system; one that can be understood, planned around, and game-ified. What Sally enjoyed was researching the traffic flow of the park, figuring out how to beat it, building a plan that cut through the seeming chaos. 

Over subsequent visits we looked together at Sally's previous trip itineraries, and also at the websites she used to make her plans. One website, which Sally has offered me the login to use in my trip, allowed you to look at all the parks on any day of the year, to see what the predicted crowd size would be at each park. Once you selected a park, you could form a list of attractions you want to attend, input the window of time for your visit, rate your walking speed (1 to 5), do you have fast passes? do you prefer less waiting in line? Or less zigzagging around the park? and other factors. Upon entering all the information, the site would then spit back the most objectively efficient park route, utilizing buckets of data points about ride-popularity, wait-times and general crowd habits. 

I'm not sure how much I'll be able to build a tight schedule for each day I spend in the park, but I am fascinated by the possibility of turning a day at Disney into a SWAT-level-of-planning fun mission. Sally has offered her services as a call-on strategist for my trip, I am sure there will be a moment where I'm lost in the overstimulation of the park and a Sally call might be what saves me.

There is definitely more to share about Sally's history with the park, and why she left her hobby behind. But, I think this post is running way longer than I expected! I'm looking forward to sharing more stories, my own and from the folks I meet for the project, throughout my time in Florida. Stay tuned here for those posts.

Thanks Patrons!

-TB

Performance outfit

Yesterday I finished my last assignment for my second year in grad school! One more year to go. I was able to get video and audio documentation of the performance, once I get those together I’ll upload and share the final documentation on here!

Ps patrons, will I see any of you at BLFC this year? If so I would love to say hi and thank you for your support. Happy Friday y’all.

Crop tops for Atmus

Some new clothes for Atmus to use in performances. Later today I’ll be performing for a final in my LGBTQ Art History course, hoping to get some good documentation, we will see how it goes!

PDF Portfolio

Did you ever wish you had a PDF of my work? No? Well too bad!

I just compiled this for some self-promo and forthcoming exhibition applications. It feels good to see a lot of the work I've made since coming to UNM come together. Though I already feel like there are some pieces missing, might add more later.

PDF includes documentation of several works, and a statement, and bio. You should download this and show it to your nearest gallery/university and get them to fly me out to you. Just an idea!!!

Performance for UNM Arts Unexpected

Whew! I’m hot! I just got back to the studio after a day of walking around campus for a performance. I was out today in conjunction with a program at UNM called Arts Unexpected. It’s what it sounds like, performances and music and art in unexpected places all day. More documentation to come as I get it back and process it.

Hoof sandals!

When I took my suit out to the forest in Washington, I was definitely impeded by my delicate hooves on the muddy forest floor (ironic). Today in the studio I’m working on some sandals to help me get a little more maneuverability in my suit when outdoors. The sole is made out of EVA mat, I found some in the fitness department at Walmart. First time in the aisle 😎

Studio day

Working on finishing up a ribcage today in the studio. Also in this photo is the foam base for a liver.. slowly amassing my innards pile. Looking forward to playing around with these for photos and performances soon!

Hey Tony (Install image)

I just finished this piece up for an exhibition at my graduate program. Really happy with how everything turned out! It was a lot of fun to play around with all the imagery I could find on the cereal box.

Title and info:
Hey Tony
2019
Inkjet prints, altered cereal box, acrylic paint, cardboard, magnets, elastic band, fridge door

Here's another view of it hanging in the show:

And a few detail shots:

Atmus as the hero of time

The first finished portrait coming out of my shoot in the incredibly beautiful forest up in Olympia, WA. More to come later, but this was one I was most happy with. The tree moss!!!

Heading back from Olympia, WA

Today I’m traveling back from Washington after a visit to my partner over my spring break. I shot a ton of new work while I was there, I’m looking forward to processing it in the coming weeks! Here is the backseat of their car full of a buncha junk we lugged out into the beautiful woods near evergreen campus.

"Tony meets my family for the first time"

Part of my series working with Tony the Tiger, pulling images from the Tony Tiger twitter account and incorporating them into an imagined relationship. This work is going to be displayed in an installation at the end of the month as part of a Juried Graduate Exhibition at UNM. Will post final images of the install when it comes around!

WIP Zelda Tunic

Been working on this since I got my fabric in on Monday, just finished the final seams today! I’ve still got to make a cap, Which is going to have some modifications needed to account for the antlers on my Fursuit, but I think that’s going to be a lot quicker than the tunic. Planning to get this done before I make a trip to Washington later this week to visit my partner. We are planning to shoot some photos of the outfit on Atmus in the woods. I’ll be sure to share those here!

Screen testing

first test with the blue screen. This was just a few minutes of work. It's definitely going to be a learning process but I'm excited by the possibilities this is gonna bring about for work!

Background pulled from zelda ocarina of time!

Studio modifications

Painted a bluescreen on my wall to use for some new works. This should work just like a greenscreen and let me key it out in photos and video. Excited to experiment!

Muslin test for Link’s tunic

Baby’s first Garment! I am testing the pattern for a cosplay tunic of Link from the legend of Zelda. The cosplay is going to be used in future photos videos and performances, I’ll be sharing more as things develop! After searching dozens of stores locally and online I’ve found a fitting fabric for the actual green tunic. Can’t wait to get that together!

Makin some guts 🙃

A little work in progress from the studio this semester. I’m building a set of plush entrails to use in various performance works and photographs with Atmus. This is also my first foray into sewing with my brand new machine! Excited to start playing with these in pictures once I get a few more in the set.

(Contact Sheet) Lost Antler

Going back in the archive, I liked looking at this contact sheet from my photoshoot for an image of Atmus having an antler fall off. I have an extra loose antler for my suit, but as you can see I had to use some photo manipulation to make one disappear off the suit head. I played around for a while with posing before I settled on the final image, the final edit is in the bottom right.

Lazy morning with Tony

Here is a snap from one of my current projects in progress, where I am inserting Tony the Tiger into a fantasy relationship with Atmus. Numerous images are in the pipeline for the project, I will be uploading sketches and finalized pieces as they come about.

For more perspective on where this work comes from, here is a link to an old gawker article that details the Furry community's relationship with Tony. (Scope the second image which screencaps a tweet of mine. I am currently blocked by the kellogg's twitter account as a direct result of that spotlighting!)

http://internet.gawker.com/tony-the-tiger-cant-tweet-without-furries-begging-him-f-1740600010

Big moves!!

Image from Atmus' appearance at the opening for "Censored!" at Ellsworth Gallery, Santa Fe.

Hi patrons!

It has been a busy start to the new year! I'm back in the studio, working on projects, meeting with artists and researchers and friends and collaborators. I have a lot of exciting projects in the pipeline, and I am looking forward to sharing their progress here.

Some of you may have noticed some changes in my subscription model on Patreon. (I have no idea if it might have emailed some of you about these changes? You tell me!) But I have been thinking a lot about what I want to share with people and how best to do it.

I want my patreon to be a space where supporters can find an active line into my practice and projects. I also have work that I know I want to share, but I'm not sure if everyone subscribing here (hi, family members!) is interested in seeing. I am mainly thinking about more suggestive and erotic artwork, which I have made here and there over the years with friends and lovers. I am proud of this work, and I want to share it, but I also didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. With this in mind, I have decided to reorient my page into two main tiers:
"Nice"(at $5/mo) and "Naughty"(at $8/mo).

The Nice tier is the new standard tier, where I will post links and updates about my general art practice. Photos, videos, and written work will all be available at this level. 

The Naughty tier is where I will be sharing works that might be considered more "extreme" or NSFW, as well as work that I think appeals more directly to Furry audiences over general art viewing crowds. This tier will include (along with everything in "Nice"!) links to photo portfolios and pin-up works, both recent and from the 10 year archive of my work. 

It is my hope that this new format will let me share MORE work with MORE of YOU!!!! As always, I would love to know what YOU want to see on this page.

And once again, thank you for your continued support of my art practice. It means a lot to have your support.

Best,

Tommy (and Atmus)

Atmus in the Museum

Some sketches from a project that I ended up changing direction on. Still, worth sharing I think! Atmus contemplating conceptual art, trying to relate to Ryman and Hamrick. Full set of 5 images in the download link.

"Shooter Anxiety" Performance at CFA Downtown Gallery

Password for the video is "atmusdeer"

Video documentation for performance at CFA Downtown Studio Gallery, on December 8th as part of performance event "Feeling Much Better Now". Song is "Turn the Light On" by Julia Holter. Documentation by Aziza Murray.

This full documentation is a patron exclusive! Thank you all for your support.

KD as Atmus (contact sheet)

Some photos from the last time my partner visited. Been thinking about playing with Atmus as a character/identity; thinking about how he is a version of myself, but one that others can embody, and also one that I can see as separate from myself. Does that make sense? It's confusing! And that's why it is interesting!!!