Diz Helps Walter Through Doubts of Faith

Charity drive commission for Jyoo_C_Froot!  Not what I usually write; read the notice below before reading.

The story poll closes TONIGHT! https://www.patreon.com/posts/59763611

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HEADS UP!
This is not a kinky fic like I normally do.  This is a fictionalized dialogue of real doubts and fears concerning the Christian faith.
I want to thank Jyoo_C_Froot for commissioning this story from me during the charity drive.  As an ex-Christian who is now in the agnostic camp, it was an interesting and meaningful exploration.
With that disclaimer out of the way, enjoy.
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Welter was having doubts.  And that usually wasn’t the most pleasant thing to have.  But maybe he could talk it through with someone he trusted. . .
The human walked around the Recovery And Rescue star vehicle, looking one particular person—well, they weren’t a /person/, per say, but one particular being.  Once he checked the common room in the lower decks, he found them.
Diz was a Strong John android modified by the ship’s captain, LJ.  As a result, the robot was more intelligent than the base models, and had a few more modifications as well: he was programmed to smoke, and had a large tattoo on his back.
The android turned upon seeing Welter enter.  “Ah, hello, greetings,” Diz said.  “You looked troubled, I observe.”  Like most Strong Johns, Diz had limited capacity for facial expressions, so like others of his model, he often voiced what his emotions were in order to clear up any confusion.
“Yes, I suppose I am troubled,” Welter said, plopping down on one of the chairs with a loud sigh.
“What’s on your mind?” Diz asked, sitting across from him.
Welter hesitated, then said to the android, “I’ve . . . told you about my faith before, right?”
Diz nodded.  “You have told me many times that you are a Christian man.  I have observed this.”
“Well, I’m having a bit of a crisis of faith,” the human admitted.  “Maybe you can help me sort some things out?  Talk it through?”
The android nodded again.  “I can gladly do that.  Let’s begin.”
Welter smiled.  “Thanks.”
He sighed.  “I guess . . . I’m not sure whether or not I’m living a lie.  Sometimes I get scared that all this Christian faith is just a way for me to feel better about my place in the universe, to reassure myself that I have a purpose, and that death is not the end.”
“Is there something wrong with that?” Diz asked.  “It’s alright if faith is a comfort sometimes, you know.”
“But what if it’s all untrue?” the human asked.  “What if all of it is just a smokescreen, and reality is far worse?”
“Well, Pascal’s Wager dictates that if you choose to believe in God, you have infinite gains and avoid infinite losses,” Diz noted.  “So even if it is just a lie, in that framework, if it does turn out to be the truth, you gain everything.  If it is a lie, you have at least lived a life that holds up to the standards of the God you believe in.  Namely, your morality is fitted within that framework.”
“I suppose that’s true,” Welter said.  “But faith doesn’t always bring about good.  That’s the other problem I have with it: that faith is used to justify such evil and terrible things throughout history.  And if I align myself with it, as I do, then in some ways, I am siding with a bad faith, and that makes me bad, too.”
“It’s true that faith was and is used to justify repulsive actions,” Diz told him.  “And that is something you cannot deny.  But if you want to live within the Christian faith, the best you yourself can do is live up to the standards of Christ, and raise your voice when wrongdoing occurs.  ‘Speak justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God.’”
Welten nodded.  “So what do you think of—"
A voice over the intercom interrupted their moment.  “All crew to the upper decks,” Captain LJ ordered through the radio.  “We’re here.”
Welter and Diz exchanged a look.  “We can continue this conversation later,” Diz said, standing up.  “Let’s go.”
The human nodded and stood too.  Then the two of them made their way to the upper decks.
The Recovery And Rescue crew had been sent on a simple case: a small Luxury vehicle—which was also known as a “pleasure craft”—was overdue at its space port, and was now missing.  These vehicles were common ways to people to rent a few days of fun, before returning it for the next group who would do it all again.  But this pleasure craft hadn’t been returned, and now many were concerned about the vehicle and the people inside of it.
Captain LJ waited for his entire crew to be present before speaking.  Pointing at the monitor at the front of the star vehicle, he said, “We have found the ship.  However, as you can see, it has begun to freeze.”  Sure enough, the ship was slowly getting consumed by a formation of ice.  Even worse, asteroids surrounded the pleasure craft and the Recovery And Rescue vehicle—this wasn’t going to be an easy job.
“There is a starport nearby,” the captain said, pointing at the monitor.  “However, if appears abandoned, and doesn’t seem to be responding.  The luxury craft isn’t responding either—we’re not sure whether they’re on board or in the starport.  We’ll have to see.  I think it’s likely they’re in the station, since the ship is frozen over.
“Because of those things,” Captain LJ continued, “we’ll send a small group of Strong Johns over to the station.  Have them investigate what’s going on.  Gregor, Andy, Diz—you three are up.  Are you ready?”
The three android saluted and captain and said, “Yes sir!”
“Good,” LJ said.  “Crew, prepare to dock at the starport.  You three Strong Johns, arm yourselves.  We’re going in.”
The Recovery And Rescue star vehicle went next to the abandoned station, and a connecting bridge went out between the vehicle and the station.  The androids simply walked across the bridge to the station (their setting were set to “spacewalk” mode so they wouldn’t float away, and naturally they didn’t need oxygen to breathe, so no suit was needed).
Once on board, the android clicked a button on their necks, connecting to the Recovery And Rescue star vehicle: as a result, three monitors turned on, showing what the androids were seeing inside the station.
“This place does appear abandoned,” Gregor declared as he walked.  “I don’t sense a presence nearby yet. . . But we’ll have to see if somebody is indeed here.”
“According to the records I’ve researched, this station is condemned,” Andy noted.  “I saw the code number for the station on our way in, and this place has long since defaulted on payments.”
“Hold on,” Diz muttered.  “Do you . . . hear something?”
There was a long pause.  Everybody watching the monitors held their breath.
Then, a loud screech sounded, and a blur attacked one of the Strong  Johns!  Gregor’s monitor flickered, then cut out as a creature tore apart his body.
“My god!” Captain LJ exclaimed.  “We have to get in there and help!  Welter, come with me to the station.  The rest of you, get on the luxury star vehicle!  Now!”
The crew hurried to follow his orders, and a moment later, LJ and Welter ran across the bridge, fully suited up, and ended up in the station.  They came forward, and saw Andy and Diz standing above Gregor’s torn-up remains.
“Who did this?” Captain LJ demanded to know.
“A yogl,” Andy replied.  “It’s a small, intelligent, bipedal species.  We fired upon it, but it escaped.”
“So what is it doing on this station?” asked Welter.
“We don’t know yet,” replied Diz.  “Let’s explore this place together, and try to find out.”
“Good call,” Captain LJ said.  He took out his radio said said, “Captain to crew.  Report your findings on the luxury star vehicle.”
The voice of one of the crewmates, Soba, crackled over the radio.  “Crew to captain.  We’ve found the inhabitants of the ship. . . They’ve all been shot dead.”
Everybody was silent in a moment of numb shock.  “. . . Understood,” Captain LJ finally said.  “Keep exploring your findings and report back soon.  We’ll do the same.”
He turned off the radio and swore, “Goddamnit,” he muttered.
“Don’t worry, Captain,” Diz said firmly.  “We’ll find out who did this.”
Captain LJ pulled a laser gun from its holster.  “We certainly will.  Let’s move.”
The four of them—the Captain, Welter, Diz, and Andy—went forward down a long hallway.  When they reached the end of it, they found a strange room.
“What is this?” Welter asked, glancing around in confusion.  The place was covered in papers and various parts.
Captain LJ walked forward and found a journal.  Opening it, he read out loud, “Star Vehicle Number 08010: Fuel 9.6 gallons, Engines 2. . .”  His eyes widened in surprise.  “Is the person who lives her salvaging ships?!”
“That must be the record of their efforts, then,” Diz realized.  He looked around at the ship parts.  “As well as the fruits of their labor. . .”
Welter nodded, and found a small control panel at the corner of the room.  Seeing something, he noted.  “Maybe they were trying to salvage the luxury star vehicle. . .”
“The question is, where are they now?” asked Andy.  “If we take them and their little book, we can surely have them arrested for illegal activity.”
“Agreed,” the Captain said.  “Let’s find that yogl, and—”
There was a loud /BOOM/ outside.  “What was that?!” Welter exclaimed.  The crew ran down the hall, as another /BOOM/ sounded, then another.  When they reached the outside, they saw that the bridges to the station and the luxury star vehicle had exploded, and their Recovery And Rescue ship was damaged.  The four saw a laser shoot out of the station and hit their ship again, resulting in another /BOOM/.
“Quick, we have to stop them!” the captain exclaimed.  “If we follow where they’re shooting from, we can find the room.”
“I’ve already done just that,” Diz said.  “Follow me, everyone!”
They ran back into the station, trying to ignore the /BOOM/ sounds around them as Diz led the way.  But by the time they got there, the sounds had already stopped.  Stepping in the room, the group saw a fully-fleshed out attack system, the control panel gracing their eyes, and a yogl slumped over in a chair.
Diz walked up to the alien, then shook his head.  “They are dead,” he told the others.  “Looks like their heart gave out—that can happen to a yogl who’s under stress.”
“Understood,” Captain LJ said.  “I’ll call the UCASC navy.  They can retrieve us from this situation.
“Actually,” Andy said hesitantly.  “We may be in quite a bit of danger, captain.”
“What?”
“Because of the way this station orbits around the asteroids,” the android explained, “there is a chance it will collide with it in a matter of hours, destroying us.  I fear this may be our last mission.”
The Captain nodded.  His hands were shaking.  “I’m still going to call the navy,” he said firmly.  “Let me tell the rest of the crew what is going on.  The rest of you. . . Say your late rites.”
He left the room.  Welter and Diz exchanged a look.  “Would you like to find a scenic view?” the android asked.  “If we are going to die, we might as well see something nice before it happens.”
Welter nodded.  “I’d like that.”
And that’s how the two of them ended up standing on the station’s ledge, looking up at the stars and planets above.  “This might be it,” Diz said.
Welter shook his head.  “I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around this. . .”
“Perhaps it will help if we continue our previous discussion?” the android asked.  “About God and such?”
“That would help, actually,” the human said.  “Thanks.”
“Of course.  Now, where were we?”  Diz paused for a moment, then said, “Ah, yes.  You were going to ask me what I thought of something.”
“Right.”  Welter scratched his chin, trying to remember, and eventually, it came to him.  “I remember what I was going to ask.  I wanted to ask you what you think about ‘hate the sin, love the sinner’ mentalities.”
“Would you appreciate it if I said I ‘hate the belief, but love the beliver’?”
“No. . .”
“Then there you go.  That’s your answer
Welter smiled.  “That’s fair.  That’s very fair. . .”  He sighed.  “I’m just plagued by so many doubts lately.  About whether this faith is real, about whether it’s worth following, about whether I will be met with what I expect when I die.  I’m just . . . so . . . /confused/ by it all!”
He continued, “And there are parts about my faith that just repulse me.  The idea of hell, that a loving God would ever send people there, disgusts me to my core.  The idea that even the worst of the worst people—murderers, rapists, sex traffickers—get a free pass to heaven if they believe in Jesus is just . . . so off-putting.  So I’m wondering if my faith is even worth it at this point, because I have so many problems with it.”
Diz nodded, taking all of his words in.  “Faith is . . . a complicated thing,” he told Welter.  “It is a bond, a community, but it is also very personal and individual.  It is simple enough for a child to understand, yet multifaceted and layered even into adulthood.  And I can see you are very much struggling with your beliefs.
“I’m not going to tell you that your doubts are a good thing and will make your faith stronger in the end, or that you should just pray or read your Bible more. . . That’s all comforting nonsense that doesn’t really answer your real questions,” the android continued.  “What I can tell you is that the things you are struggling with are normal.  And they can be really hard, because faith is a challenging thing.  
“You may come out of this still believing in God and your truth.  Or you may not.  But be sure to spend some time with yourself on this, and don’t bury it down deep and ignore your doubts.  Listen to them, process, and give yourself some space.”
Welter nodded.  “Thank you,” he said.  “I think when it all comes down to it, I’m just scared of dying, scared of meeting the end and seeing . . . nothing.  I don’t know what to think of that.’
“Death is complicated, because we don’t know what’s on the other side,” Diz told him.  "All one can do is persevere and hope for the best. However, one would likely infer that if God did indeed create man with curiosity, flaws, and free will, all while having the infinite wisdom to know the outcome of man, he would not destroy and condemn them for exercising that curiosity and exploring their own beliefs."
Welter smiled.  “Thanks.  I appreciate it a lot, Diz.”
The android smiled back.  “It’s no trouble.  I’m happy to help you through this difficult time.
“Thank you.”  Welter put his hand on the ledge.  “Let’s just admire the view a bit more, and then we can keep talking ok?”
“Certainly.”
And so, the android and the human looked up at the stars.  Their conversation soon resumed.
Together, they waited for the end.