I'm Doing Okay... sort of

I'm normally a goofy bastard, but I don't know how I'm going to be for the next week.

I was just called to my parents house tonight.  My dad fell on the floor while in the bedroom upstairs.

He was unresponsive.  My mom called an ambulance and spent the night doing chest compressions.  He didn't make it.  My dad died tonight.

I dropped off our oldest tractor to John Deere today.  He drove me home after he had some coffee and donuts at Tim Hortons.  We joked a bit about our tractor's chronometer rolling over past 10,000 hours.  There was an auction years ago where some young guys thought they would get some low-hour tractors.  The tractor was made in the 70's, there are none with low hours.

He took a sample of wheat in to be tested for quality after he dropped me off.

The farm is mine now and I have to go it alone.  It's going to be hard as hell.

I didn't think that today would be the last time I would see him.

My mom is pretty hurt.  I'm going to see her tomorrow.  The ambulance is still at my parents house right now.  They're required to investigate.

My dad was 69 years old.

I want to write more about him.  He was an amazing person.  He was very smart and very very hard working.  I was always amazed at what he could do.

There is a lot of work left.  My shower needs fixing, I've got a mouse infestation, our machine shop needs doing, I need to sell grain, I've got a garage door to fix...   all things I thought I'd do with him.

I think I might write more about him later, but for now, it's too overwhelming.  I'm going to bed soon.  I can't believe that when I wake up, I'll be in charge.  I'll never see him again.  I wasn't prepared for this.  I'm ready to run the farm, but I'm never ready for my dad to die.

If I'm a bit laggy on work (and I have been), I'm in a bit of a mess right now.  The farm is a lot to handle and I need to take over everything.  I'm just so overwhelmed right now.

Thank you all for your support, especially at a time like this.  I really love you guys and I know you support me.

This is hard as fucking hell to take.  I'm going to do my best.