Little life update and thoughts on anxiety.

Hey you!

I hope you're doing well and that you have time to take breaks and recharge your batteries.

I wanted to talk to you - and to myself - a bit about what's going on in my life lately.

I am extremely thankful for my progress and especially professionally. But, between us, I am not ready at all. I am just a weird girl that follows her guts, who didn't even take time to finish high school (or go to any other school after), and who learns as she goes. 

And right now, this little girl is drowning under projects she thought sounded fun and that didn't take into account her best buddy: mental health issues.

As much as I've already improved on this subject, doing it all alone is hard and I have to stop pretending that it isn't. I know many people do more and I know that I'll probably do more soon. And that is a part of what freaks me out. I am not supposed to breakdown already.

To give you the context, I am currently
_ preparing multiple photoshoots for clients,
_ finishing my fancy portfolio to apply for a really cool project (that I don't know if I'll be able to do it with the current events),
_ working on Selfie Tips with a team of Beta Testers before launching it,
_ working on my August concept which forces me to jump on every opportunity that comes my way and to combine all of it in a video (god, it is fun but that shit takes time!),
_ learning how to use Final Cut (a video editing software),
_ working on a big project for tattoo artists,
_ creating content for Instagram,
_ and other stuff that I probably forgot.

And even if I am loving every single one of these projects, since I've been working on them for a while and the finish line gets closer and closer, it is a lot of stuff to think about daily for my little brain and it starts to really panic. Which leads to guilt, because I know how lucky I am to have the job I have.

The other day, I read something that helped me a lot in my quest of inner truth: to be truly vulnerable and connect with others on a deeper level, we have to be willing to risk sharing the raw parts of ourselves, especially with others. And I used to know this, but adulthood, states of emergencies and other fantasies kind of made me forget. So here I am: Anxiety is a bitch and I wish I found a healthy way to get rid of it and be able to enjoy my life at its fullest. And the pandemic doesn't help, and I know you probably feel this too for yourself.
I'm with you in this. And if you have any tips on how to reduce stress, please send them my way. I'll be forever thankful!
Have a great great great day!