Everything goes horribly wrong when Minister Packard makes an unannounced visit. It’s you and Comfort against the world now, but at least you have each other.
Written by Audrey.
Apologies for the long delay in posting. Hopefully things will be more back to a normal schedule now!
Love,
Phas 💖
Erotic extended cut of this audio. Written by Audrey.
In the version of this audio in the Patreon player, the listener is female, has a vagina and breasts. For other options, see below:
If the listener should be female, have a penis and breasts, click here.
If the listener should be female, have a penis and no breasts, click here.
If the listener should be female, have a vagina and no breasts, click here.
If the listener should be male, have a penis and breasts, click here.
If the listener should be male, have a penis and no breasts, click here.
If the listener should be male, have a vagina and breasts, click here.
If the listener should be male, have a vagina and no breasts, click here.
If the listener should be non-binary, have a penis and breasts, click here.
If the listener should be non-binary, have a penis and no breasts, click here.
If the listener should be non-binary, have a vagina and breasts, click here.
If the listener should be non-binary, have a vagina and no breasts, click here.
The hours creep by as the two of you are stuck inside during the blizzard—but you find you have lots to talk about.
Early access! Written masterfully by Audrey.
Look forward to an erotic extended cut of this audio coming on Sunday!
Love,
Phas 💖
Following on from my last board game video about Fungi, I wanted to show you another one I like very much, Patchwork. Hope you enjoy it.
Love,
Phas 💖
Comfort-in-Faith is more than happy to offer you shelter from the snowstorm. After your attempts to hide your witchcraft go horribly wrong, you learn that the real reason he’s afraid isn’t what you thought it was at all…
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Early access! Written by Audrey.
2025-03-08 22:49:05 +0000 UTC View Post
You allowed the Beast to think you were only after his roses, but the truth is so much worse than he could have guessed… And now it’s the last thing you want.
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This is a sequel to last week's Beauty and the Beast-inspired audio, and because I'm posting it late I've rolled up the erotic extended cut into the early access release.
In the version of this audio in the Patreon player, the listener is female and has a vagina. For other options, see below:
If the listener should be female and have a penis, click here.
If the listener should be male and have a penis, click here.
If the listener should be male and have a vagina, click here.
If the listener should be non-binary and have a penis, click here.
If the listener should be non-binary and have a vagina, click here.
Also, here is a bonus outtake. Phoebe the poodle heard me doing some loud scary laughing from the next room and was very worried, so she had to come and make sure i was okay.
2025-03-02 21:08:13 +0000 UTC View Post
He never dreamed he would get to fulfill this particular set of needs.
Written by Audrey.
In the version of this audio in the Patreon player, the listener is female and has a vagina. Other other options, see below.
If the listener should be female and have a penis, click here.
If the listener should be male and have a penis, click here.
If the listener should be male and have a vagina, click here.
If the listener should be nonbinary and have a penis, click here.
If the listener should be nonbinary and have a vagina, click here.
Desperation led you to pilfer potion ingredients from the Beast’s garden. His “punishment” for you isn’t what you expected at all.
Early access! Written by Audrey.
Coming tomorrow: An NSFW extended cut of last week's Hartley audio. Look forward to that :)
Love,
Phas 💖
He’s still your valet, but now he’s so much more.
Early access. Written by Audrey.
Folks, this weeks B-week (non-erotica) Patreon exclusive might be a few days late. Sorry about that! Hope you enjoy this in the meantime.
Love,
Phas 💖
Erotic extended cut of this audio.
In the version of this audio in the Patreon player, the listener has a vagina. If they should have a penis, click here.
2025-02-09 18:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
It’s been a long few months, but finally you can be together again.
Early access! Written by Audrey. Thumbnail art by Houmi. Look forward to a spicy extended cut of this tomorrow!
Love,
Phas 💖
Found this new card game recently. I really like the sounds that playing cards make, so I thought I'd record a video about it. As always it's pretty scuffed. Hope you enjoy it anyway.
2025-02-02 18:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post
He’s there for you, no matter how bad things get.
Early access. Written by Audrey.
2025-02-01 18:00:11 +0000 UTC View Post
In the version of this audio in the Patreon player, the listener is female and has a vagina.
If the listener should be female and have a penis, click here.
If the listener should be male and have a penis, click here.
If the listener should be male and have a vagina, click here.
If the listener should be non-binary and have a penis, click here.
If the listener should be non-binary and have a vagina, click here.
2025-01-26 18:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
I thought it was vampires who were supposed to have thralls - but you seem to have him utterly enraptured.
Early access! Written by Audrey. Please look forward to the extended cut coming tomorrow.
Love,
Phas 💖
Your bestie always has a smile and a sweet word or three for you—but today you learn he actually means it.
Early access! Written by Audrey.
2025-01-18 18:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Erotic extended cut of this audio, written by Audrey.
In the version of this audio in the Patreon player, the listener is female, has breasts and a vagina. For other options find your preferred version below.
If the listener should be female and:
have breasts and a penis, click here.
have no breasts and a penis, click here.
have no breasts and a vagina, click here.
If the listener should be male and:
have breasts and a penis, click here.
have breasts and a vagina, click here.
have no breasts and a penis, click here.
have no breasts and a vagina, click here.
If the listener should be non-binary (referred to as "sweet little thing" at one point) and:
have breasts and a penis, click here.
have breasts and a vagina, click here.
have no breasts and a penis, click here.
have no breasts and a vagina, click here.
Enjoy,
Phas 💖
There's no way this is a coincidence. You must be made for each other.
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Early access! Written by Audrey.
Sorry this one's so late, folks. I'm finally getting back on top of things after a start to the new year that was both busy and, frankly, an all-time-low for me in terms of my mental health. An NSFW extended cut of this will be coming in a day or two, and then I hope to be properly back on schedule.
The basic concept for this (meeting the same person on a bar crawl a bunch of times by sheer coincidence) is one I have wanted to do for ages. It's inspired by an episode of New Girl, specifically season 4 episode 15 "The Crawl". The idea of the universe forcing two people to meet a bunch of times until they finally give up and fall in love is so cute. This probably won't be the only time I use this basic premise.
Love,
Phas 💖
So yeah, the thing he has for you is definitely reciprocated, isn’t it?
Early access!
Written by Audrey.
2024-12-28 18:00:07 +0000 UTC View PostHey folks! I’ve been using a different mixing process for the last few releases and you might have noticed that my voice sounds a little different. Let me know what you think! More detail in the comments is welcome.
Thanks, and happy holidays 💖
Phas
Okay, so maybe there was a better gift.
In the version of this audio in the Patreon player, the listener has a vagina and is (jokingly) referred to as a "succubus" (typically feminine). Find your preferred version below:
If the listener should have a vagina and be called an "incubus" (typically masculine) click here.
If the listener should have a penis and be called a "succubus" (typically feminine) click here.
If the listener should have a penis and be called an "incubus" (typically masculine) click here.
For him, there's no better gift.
Early access. Written by Audrey.
You'll never guess what present is coming for you tomorrow. Don't try to guess by the shape of the box!
(Okay fine, it's an erotic extended cut of this audio.)
Love,
Phas 💖
Recently I got a new vocal booth and put together a new stereo setup for my studio microphones. To test it, I wanted to make the quietest ASMR I possibly could, and this is the result. It's a bunch of gobbledegook nonsense muttering and some ear-to-ear whispering. I intentionally left the pop filters off my mics, so there is also some deep, rumbly breathy sounds occasionally. I quite like how those sound, and left them in. You'll also occasionally hear me shifting around, my stomach gurgling, things like that.
I'm not saying anything in any language (aside from one point near the end when I say goodnight in English), so if you hear something that sounds like words you recognise it's pure coincidence.
This was an experiment and I'm fairly happy with the result, but I think it could have been even quieter. My microphones (Rode NT-1) have impressively low self-noise and I'm happy with their performance, but my audio interface (Focusrite Scarlett Solo 2i2 gen 4) could be better for this use case, and I can hear some electrical interference that I could have reduced a lot by cutting power to some things in my studio during the session.
I was originally going to title this something like "The Quietest ASMR In The World", but I don't think I managed to make it quiet enough to earn that level of clickbait. I'll try again another time.
I hope you enjoy it, anyway.
Love,
Phas 💖
When your Christmas plans fall apart, your closest friend is ready to keep your holidays bright, and it’s not long before you learn that he’s all you really need.
Early access! Written by Audrey.
2024-12-14 18:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
He's back. And he really missed you.
Written by Audrey.
In the version of this audio in the Patreon player, the listener has a vagina and breasts. Find your preferred version below:
If the listener should have a vagina and no breasts, click here.
If the listener should have a penis and breasts, click here.
If the listener should have a penis and no breasts, click here.
He's back.
Written by Audrey. Exclusive extended cut tomorrow.
2024-12-07 18:00:10 +0000 UTC View Post
have an exciting studio update to share with you! so much happier with the quality of my work now.
if you would like to just hear the audiobook part of this, i read "Carry on, Jeeves" by P. G. Wodehouse. the reading starts at 13:51
thank you for funding my work.
love,
phasmid 💖
With winter woes fast approaching, all he wants to do is enjoy the autumn’s harvest with you.
Written by Audrey: https://patreon.com/rainbowbarnacle
Some ambient sound from https://tabletopaudio.com used with permission
In the version of this audio in the Patreon player, the listener has a vagina. If you'd prefer for them to have a penis, listen to this version.
Written by Audrey: https://patreon.com/rainbowbarnacle
Thumbnail art by Sae: https://x.com/sae_illust
Some sounds from Tabletop Audio: https://tabletopaudio.com/ (used with permission)
After the hard life he’s led, you want to give him the best nameday ever.
Early access!
Written by Audrey: https://patreon.com/rainbowbarnacle
Thumbnail art by Sae: https://x.com/sae_illust
Some sounds from Tabletop Audio: https://tabletopaudio.com/ (used with permission)
Look out for the exclusive extended cut of this coming tomorrow 💖
2024-11-23 18:00:11 +0000 UTC View Post