PhasmidASMR

Birdwatching

Join me at a nature reserve for some birdwatching.

this is a bit of an experiment. i went to a nature reserve far from my home, so i could film safely. i'm mostly satisfied with the quality, but not so much the length. weather conditions were against me, it was busier than i expected it to be with plenty of other people about, and the best birdhide that i wanted to shoot at was closed! ah well - this just gives me a reason to try again, which i probably will do soon. i'll remember to bring a tripod next time, too.

the birds you'll see in this include:

• Black-headed gull (Chroicocephalus ridibundus)

• Eurasian coot (Fulica atra)

• Grey heron (Ardea cinerea)

• Lapwing (Vanellus vanellus)

• Mallard (Anas platyrhynchos)

• Moorhen (Gallinula chloropus)

• Mute swan (Cygnus olor)

• Common tern (Sterna hirundo)

and birds that are mainly heard, but not seen much or at all, include:

• Blackbird (Turdus merula)

• Blackcap (Sylvia atricapilla)

• Carrion crow (Corvus corone)

• Robin (Erithacus rubecula)

• Rook (Corvus frugilegus)

• Wren (Troglodytes troglodytes)

and probably many other hedgerow birds common in the UK - tits of all kinds, sparrows, pigeons, etc. let me know if you see or hear anything interesting not in this list!

it was quite a busy day, so there are also sounds of some people moving around, and i think at one point i passed a cricket match being played or something like that. next time i'll go on a quieter day, or perhaps go somewhere else.

i think my favourite part is at 9:50, where you can just about see and most certainly hear a mute swan almost taking off, but then appearing to give up. it's so loud, despite being quite a distance away.

enjoy :)

A Hunky Werewolf Nurse Helps You Through Your First Full Moon

The bad news is you woke up in a hospital with a nasty werewolf bite, and there’s no cure. The good news is your nurse is there for you.

Written by Audrey.

Your Insecure Tiefling Boyfriend Shows You How Much He Loves You - erotic extended cut

In the version of this audio in the Patreon player, the listener has a vagina. If you'd prefer for them to have a penis, click here.

i think someone recently suggested i should do more subby character. this one has a lot of subby moaning and such. enjoy.

love,
phas 💖

Your Insecure Tiefling Boyfriend Shows You How Much He Loves You

At the end of the day, all he wants is to be what you need.

Written by Audrey.

Look out for the Patreon-exclusive extended cut tomorrow.

Traditional ASMR: Unintelligible muttering, typing, page turning and generally pottering around at my desk

43 minutes of traditional ASMR, for tingles and relaxation. typing, ear-to-ear muttering and page turning, with a little bit of Ava the cat purring at the end 💤

this kind of muttering is a traditional ASMR trigger that i LOVE. not that many channels do it in a way that i find properly tingly, i find they often resort to repetitive, rhythmic mouth sounds (especially tongue clicking) that does not sound natural enough to give me the tinglies. i tried to avoid that in this.

this is somewhat similar to this post, though in that one you can actually make out most of the words i'm saying. in this one, the muttering is supposed to be unintelligible. i think i prefer this.

occasionally you can hear some irritating rumble caused by my headphone cable moving around - sorry about that. i reduced it as far as possible in post without ruining the overall sound. originally i was going to record video alongside it too, but decided not to in the end. i wanted to focus on how things sounded and not have to think about how it would look. i'll likely do something like this again in the future, but on-camera, because i like visual ASMR too.

Ava the cat makes a couple of surprise appearances, too. didn't plan on that, that's what i get for leaving my studio door ajar. thought i'd leave it in.

hope this gives you some good tingles and perhaps helps you get some sleep.

love,
phas 💖

You Definitely Have a Thing for Your Butler

When life is at its most harrowing, your valet is here for you.

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early access! written by Audrey.

You Catch the Bounty Hunter, but He Has Other Plans (erotic extended cut)

This is an extended cut of this audio, written by Audrey. Please note that it includes a moment where the listener is unexpectedly handcuffed.

In the version of this audio in the Patreon player, the listener has a vagina. If you'd prefer for them to have a penis, click here.

Falling For Your Cameraman Best Friend During a Ghost Hunting Trip

Even if he isn’t 100% sure about this new ghost hunting gig, he’s still willing to ride or die with you.

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early access!

Written by Audrey: https://patreon.com/rainbowbarnacle

Featuring Escaped Audios as The Ghost: https://www.patreon.com/escapedaudios

Thumbnail art by Myr: https://x.com/PettyGrimoire

it is spooky month, and that means spooky audios. or, at least one spooky audio. and that's this one. there probably won't be another spooky one before the end of october. but this one's plenty spooky, so that's ok. enjoy!

love,
phas 💖

Walking around a nature reserve and talking about loneliness, society, work, etc.

this was originally recorded on Thursday, 10th October. it's very candid and i probably say a lot of silly things in it. i'm not really sure why i recorded it at all, nor why i decided to record it outside at a nature reserve. i also sound a little short of breath a lot of the time. i think that was probably a symptom of anxiety.

a couple of corrections:

• At 30:48, I describe myself as "neurotypical" when I meant to say "neurodivergent".

• At 40:15, I talk about agoraphobia while clearly misremembering what the condition actually entails, because what I say about it makes no sense.

if the stereo nature of this recording is distracting or uncomfortable to you, with my voice not being perfectly centered, there is a mono mix here.

You Catch the Bounty Hunter, but He Has Other Plans

He’s the favourite thing you ever stole. Unfortunately, doing so has you in more trouble than you can imagine.

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early access! written by Audrey.

sorry about the lack of releases last week, folks. i had to take a bit of a break for the old mental health. back on schedule now, though! an erotic extended cut of this audio will come next weekend - hope you'll be looking forward to that.

love,
phas 💖

Halsin *Takes Care* Of You In The Underdark

Written by Audrey.

In the version of this audio in the Patreon player, the listener has breasts and a vagina.

• If the listener should have breasts and a penis, click here.

• If the listener should have no breasts and a vagina, click here.

• If the listener should have no breasts and a penis, click here.

Halsin Takes Care Of You In The Underdark

Exchanging letters had him interested enough - seeing you in person drives him over the edge.

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early access! written by Audrey.

exclusive extended cut coming tomorrow, of course :)

love,
phas 💖

Phasaoke - 3 songs about love and loss

I'm singing for you again. Sorry about that.

To hear more than the 1 minute preview in the Patreon audio player, click here.

The songs are Shining Spires by Harp, The Smallest Church In Sussex by Sea Power and Campanita by Summer Salt. I love them all dearly, and don't think I really did any of them justice.

Shining Spires in particular was really hard to record, both because it is right at the top of my vocal range (before I have to shift into falsetto) and because I cannot listen to or sing it without crying so much. You can hear me breaking at the end. I had recorded each phrase of the song so many times, and that was the best one I got. It was written by Tim Smith and Kathi Zung, who are married. The lyrics are so incredibly evocative, I think I could listen to this song 1,000 times and it would still make me cry.

The Smallest Church In Sussex may be recognisable to some of you as "The Smallest Church In Saint-Saëns" from Disco Elysium. Sea Power composed the soundtrack for Disco Elysium, and remixed a lot of their own prior (and some unreleased) work in the process. There are a few versions of this song on the album it was original included on, and none of them have the same composition as that in the game. I do wish they would release it properly. Ah, well. The piano version is nice, too.

Campanita was written by Matthew Terry about his late sister. It also makes me cry a lot. I kinda fucked up the harmony. Sorry about that.

Your Butler *Definitely* Has a Thing For You

After learning that you are almost as unfamiliar with your city as he is, Hartley suggests that the two of you spend the day exploring it together.

early access! written by Audrey.

Laying With Your Insecure Tiefling Boyfriend

Written by Audrey. Thumbnail art by Houmi.

In the version of this audio in the Patreon player, the listener has a vagina. If you'd prefer for them to have a penis, listen to this version.

Settling Down With Your Werewolf Partner in Baldur's Gate

After meeting another representative from the Waxing Moon, he's cautiously starting to think that this city might not be so bad.

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early access! written by Audrey, with thumbnail art by Sae, and featuring Dade as "Kell" - thank you!

Tending To A Fallen Angel's Wounds

He'll accept his fate - if it means finding you.

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early access! written by Lia.

Vampire Takes You To Dinner Before He F*cks You (And Bites You)

this is an extended cut of this audio - now with fucking and biting. jump to 37:55 if you just want to hear the new stuff.

Written by Audrey. Thumbnail art by Myr: https://twitter.com/PettyGrimoire. In the version of this audio in the Patreon player, the listener is referred to as "girl", has breasts and a vagina. Find your preferred version below:

If the listener should be "girl" and

• have breasts and a penis, click here.

• have no breasts and a vagina, click here.

• have no breasts and a penis, click here.

If the listener should be "boy" and

• have breasts and a vagina, click here.

• have breasts and a penis, click here.

• have no breasts and a vagina, click here.

• have no breasts and a penis, click here.

Rekindling An Old Crush (Geeky Aquarium Worker)

He always loved chatting with you, but never had the courage to ask for your number.

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early access! written by Audrey.

Reading (almost) Every Book From Dishonored

i've been playing the Dishonored series on twitch recently and became fascinated by how much lore there is delivered in books found in the game world. i didn't want to spend all my time playing the game on reading, so instead i went and found most of the books on the Dishonored wiki and have recorded them as an audio book.

i left out journals and diaries that i didn't think added to the lore of the game's world. i also think the wiki may be incomplete, as i'm sure i remember seeing at least a few lore books in the game that i did not see when recording this. perhaps i should re-visit it. i'd kind of like to make my own lore summary video for Dishonored, at some point. maybe i will.

hope you enjoy this, anyway.

love,
phas 💖

Your New Butler Might Have A Thing For You

Might take a while for his veneer of professionalism to dissolve, though.

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early access! written by Audrey.

i think the concept of a butler roleplay came up in twitch chat, but once again i don't remember exactly where from. or i could be completely mistaken. either way, i think this one is so cute.

it's tagged "strangers to lovers" as this represents the intended arc for this character over multiple audios, even though there is nothing "lovers" about this particular instalment. that's okay, isn't it? i think it makes sense.

love,
phas 💖

Possessive Werewolf Names You His Mate (erotic extended cut)

Find out how he tastes you.

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written by Audrey.

In the version of this audio in the Patreon player, the listener is referred to as "girl", has breasts and a vagina. Find your preferred version below:

If the listener should be "girl" and

• have breasts and a penis, click here.

• have no breasts and a vagina, click here.

• have no breasts and a penis, click here.

If the listener should be "boy" and

• have breasts and a vagina, click here.

• have breasts and a penis, click here.

• have no breasts and a vagina, click here.

• have no breasts and a penis, click here.

If the listener should have no explicit gender (referred to as "little thing") and

• have breasts and a vagina, click here.

• have breasts and a penis, click here.

• have no breasts and a vagina, click here.

• have no breasts and a penis, click here.

Vampire Boss Struggles To Keep Things Strictly Business

He definitely meant it when he said he just wanted to show you around. For real.

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early access! written by Audrey. Thumbnail art by Myr: https://twitter.com/PettyGrimoire

lucien returns. god this guy is suave.

once again i play three separate characters in this. i really need to get ahead of schedule so i can cast other actors. ah, well. i hope it's not too distracting!

tomorrow, for patrons: another erotic extended cut featuring Jasper.

love,
phas 💖

Phasaoke - Harmonia's Dream by The War On Drugs

To avoid any potential problems with copyright, I've uploaded the vocals only mix to Patreon. To hear the full mix, click here!

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hello! it's been almost a whole year since the last time i embarrassed myself by singing for all of you. man, i just listened to that old recording and it is so bad. i think this is much better. still not brilliant, but a lot better. this being the best song ever recorded probably helps a lot.

enjoy?????

love,
phas 💖

Insecure Tiefling Boyfriend Is Desperate To Show You Why He Adores You

A bargain isn't the only thing you find wandering the market together (the other thing is love, btw).

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early access! written by Audrey. Thumbnail art by Houmi.

andros the tiefling returns in a cute and fluffy little audio. please enjoy!

tomorrow, i'm going to embarrass myself again by posting another Phasaoke.

love,
phas 💖

Gale's First Time

finally, the conclusion to the gale roleplay. written by Audrey!

in the version of this audio in the patreon player, the listener has a vagina. if you would prefer for them to have a penis, listen to this version.

Possessive Werewolf Names You His Mate

Your bond with him becomes closer than ever after an eventful night in the woods.

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early access! part 3 of the last werewolf series, written by Audrey.

this will get a patreon-exclusive extended cut in two weeks' time (hence the CTA in this version, which is what will be uploaded to youtube.) tomorrow - finally - a conclusion to the gale role-play from ages ago. sorry it's taken so long. i hope you'll enjoy it!

love,
phas 💖

Castor Helps You Drift Off To Sleep

another little moment with Castor the Satyr - written, of course, by Audrey.

this is short but sweet, and the second half of it is an extended segment of relaxing layered ambient noise. i hope you like it!

love,
phas 💖

Insecure Tiefling Has Feelings For You

You've always been their favourite person to work on, but they never thought you would be interested in someone like them.

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early access! written by Audrey. Thumbnail art by Houmi.

this one is based on an idea thought up by someone - or perhaps the chat hive mind - while i was streaming baldur's gate 3 one time. forgive me, i don't remember exactly who - if you remember, please let me know!

tomorrow, a SFW visit with Castor the Satyr, who is going to help you get a decent night's sleep.

love,
phas 💖

Possessive Werewolf Makes You His

Here's the exclusive extended cut for part 2 of my new werewolf series. Written by Audrey.

In the version in the Patreon player, the listener has a vagina. If you'd prefer them to have a penis, listen to this version.