fiona sangster

incoming haul

so excited genuinely ecstatic to receive this parcel tomorrow. it is from vista print and i designed some truly. truly wacky items with shane’s face on them

so i will film a haul and i cannot wait (though may wait to edit bc my sponsor deadline is!!!! tight!!!! just finished working and it’s 9pm lol the grind never stops 🥴)

important question

sorry i’m truly using patreon like a big group chat that i’m the leader of. first the cup song now this

anyway should i dye my hair purple

last one i promise

me: i take requests

you: please stop

again but worse somehow

hwhat

i take requests what shall i do next

9.30 pm antics

silly goofy mood

it’s from hamilton btw in case u don’t have my brain rot

shane questionnaire shane questionnaire

hey sams!!! in case you didnt see on the discord / my youtube community post - i have made a shane questionnaire!!

there are some voting data-based kind of questions but also lots of room to write down anything you want me to know. all questions are optional so dont feel like its a test or something lol, contribute as much or as little as you feel like! and you dont need to be a shane fan! you dont need to know anything about him! all shane opinions are welcome. even wrong ones lmao.

more info can be found on the google form, thank you in advance to anyone who fills it out! i appreciate you!!

(crazy sidenote but i put this out less than 24 hours ago and there are 1200 RESPONSES ?!??!?!?! bitches love forms (im bitches))

https://forms.gle/3me1VRVN18ezx6d1A

[new video] answering your stardew questions (30k Q&A!)

what’s UP gamers here’s the sponsor free ad free version of my new vid. it’s also a lil early woahhhhhhhhhh

(i’m gonna do a separate vid for the questions u guys asked me on patreon btw! didn’t just forget hehe)

subtitles will be up soon just gotta make a few edits xx
edit: subs are up sorry for the delay!

chatty grwm xx

doing my make up to film the q&a vid and talking about that weird post i made where i complained a lot xx

if you wanna know what products i used or anything just ask cos idk if anyones interested in that kind of thing lmao

also turns out i had a UTI so thats probs at least partly why i felt so weird. huh

EDIT: Ugh i just noticed at 21.15 it cut off my joke rip. it said "here's whats in my mouth i guess. jesus christ". very funny. fuck you final cut pro

EDIT: ok here is all the stuff i used: fenty pro filt'r concealer 160; nikkitutorials x beautybay palette (forget what its called lol); ysl all hours foundation LN3; laura mercier translucent loose powder; maybelline sky high mascara in brown; glossier boy brow in brown; made by mitchell liquid blush in cow lick; made by mitchell lip liner in bitter sweet; mac macximal matte lipstick in get the hint?

wow listing them all out makes me seem like a rich hoe but i bought most of it for the wedding and that fenty concealer i have had for no joke 3 years lol. and the made by mitchell stuff is like £4 on tiktok lmao

weird ramble about feeling stuck and adhd problems

yooo gamers, im having a bit of a weird time atm and thought id try just writing like a blog post or whatever. kind of weird ive never had a blog before lol

so i worked on the shane video for 2 weeks and im taking this week away from it to work on my q&a video instead cos i can make that in (hypothetically) a few days (thats what i said about the ranking video but then i ended up obsessing just as much over the editing lol). and im just in this weird stuck headspace right now. partly i think because im stopping and starting - usually its best for me to work on 1 thing at a time and finish it, otherwise i WILL abandon projects, cos i have trouble switchin focus, i like to be completely immersed in something. seb video took me 6 weeks and i was in that bitch the entire time

but also me and sam are moving soon. when? we still dont know !!! we put the offer in for a house 6 months ago and for months now it's been like any day now!! any day now!!! which is horrible lol. dont feel like its worth doing anything in the place we live now. this was always supposed to be a temporary place to live while we bought our first house so its in the middle of nowhere. literally you have to drive to the next town for there to be a shop. which is probably common in the US but here in the UK that's real middle of nowhere vibes. so its been this weird liminal feeling where i dont want to start anything, i cant feel fully focused on anything because literally any day we could get an email being like ok you're moving in a week!!! and its likely going to be soon bc our mortgage offer and the mortgage offer of the guy we're buying from expire soon so like it HAS to be soon, but still it could all fall through. we're just waiting on various parties to contact each other about "enquiries" and we dont know what they are and they're in control of our whole life :(

also i started a new medication so my body just feels weird idk

and its like im still having a great time over here. love life love my job love shane lol. but you'd think with the shane video it would just pour right out of me and it kind of does but ?? idk?? ive written around 20k words which is a LOT, thats more than the maru vid, its around linus vid length so 2 hours lol. and thats without even getting to the heart events. and that took me 2 weeks. is 20k words in 2 weeks a lot? i guess. not for me though. i mean ive been doing research and other stuff, im not trying to beat myself up (just had to throw a pen at my cats to keep them from fighting lol) but i know myself and it just doesnt feel right ? idk what it is?

a big part of it is the structure, im finding it so hard to organise all the information. i really like that i have a kind of formula - intro, likes and dislikes, relationships etc, then 2h 4h etc. but with shane its like the intro is 20k, i want to (dont feel like i have to. WANT to) include everything and its like where else do i do that except for at the start? but then, if i wanna talk about his relationship w marnie in the intro, we've then got the 4h scene and the 6h scene and the 7hpt1 scene... and its like at what point can i just lay out every piece of info about their relationship? i dont know. i dont want to keep half-introducing things and coming back to them later, and that would be hard to keep track of, but i also like introducing new info as it comes up linearly??

i keep feeling like i wish i had a big whiteboard but i cant GET one cos we're in THIS house and not THAT house and it might not fit in that house!!! like i feel like i need to be able to zoom all the way out but then, that has issues in itself, cos theres so much granular information. this is the exact thing my little teeny adhd brain is bad at. feels so claustrophobic in here sometimes. i also have that thing where you can't picture things in your head? aphantasia? so it feels SUPER small cos i cant like. get outside of it agh. and then i also have such a bad genuinely bad memory so i cant keep track of all the little half-introduced strands AGH. all just feels so messy right now, even the stuff ive written just feels messy and needs tightening up

idk. see im just in a weird place. i think its probs a normal part of the creative process yano. elliott vibes. you hate something before you love it. i have a video on my phone that i filmed for the behind the scenes seb video of me being like i am worried. it is too long. and it kind of was LOL. but like idk, i just feel tired all the time. the b12 was supposed to help me bitch!!! and its like i was gonna film the q&a today but im just too tired to like bring the energy yano. like all i wanna do is go lay down and read fanfiction and theres no boss here to tell me what to do so i might just go do that

sorry it feels weird to just be like......... complaining lol. venting i guess. cos i know its an insane position to be in. oh no :'( im having twouble wid my video :( im spending too much time in my widdle bed :( yano like people have JOBS. but then i guess it's like, when i was a game writer i had all the same issues. when i worked on love island they would give us 4 days to write a script and i usually spent the first 1 or 2 doing fuck all, then the last 2 days writing twice as fast as everyone else. like ive always been that way, thats partly why 20k doesnt seem like a lot for 2 weeks cos ive written 120k of fanfiction in like 3 months. although that actually does average out to 20k in 2 weeks lol but thats not my JOB you know? but then i guess im still in my fuck around phase. just have to let it marinate a bit. like, i'll get there, i always get there, otherwise none of my videos would come out and i would have been fired from every job i had. i'll get there. i think its just weird bc of all the aforementioned stuff and then also ive been hyping this up in my head for a YEAR now. the shane vid. and its like now im working on it - not every single second feels like pure unadulterated joy?? huh??

its a certain amount of powerlessness / helplessness i think. cos when im writing the scripts or writing in general its like, if my brain isnt working, no go. cant do it. editing, sure, but writing no. at a certain point in a day my brain just goes DONE and i cant keep going. and like today it never turned on the whole day its just been like DONE!!!! and theres nothing i can do to turn it back on i just have to wait. and its been turning on so infrequently and it makes me feel powerless. but then is that just self defeating. but then also thats how its been for like over 10 years at this point, thats just how it seems to work for me. like right now i feel like i need to go lay down and then ill feel better in like an hour and i might feel better but i also might not. just gotta do what my brain decides and hope it helps. fml having adhd is rly hard. but at least i dont work in retail anymore

anyway sorry, i guess im writing this partly as an update and partly to get it off my chest but also partly cos im hoping the comments will help or make me feel better cos you guys are so smart and nice lol. but then i worry its gonna come across as pretty entitled. let me acknowledge my privilege again!! i love it!! thank u for the privilege its very nice i like it. ok cool lol thanks

edit 22/1/25 aka the next morning - hi gamers omg thanks for being so nice to me jesus christ. jesus christ you guys are so nice its insane. i love how we all have adhd and suffer constantly 💖 so sam coded of us tbh?? but yeah in all sincerity thank u so much for the kind words, i feel a lot better today and next time i get stuck again i will def be back to read the comments again bc they made me feel so validated and less insane 🫂 we all get a lil stuck sometimes yano. no biggie.

new discord roles and channel!

whats UP sams of all shapes and sizes!!

i just made a new channel on my discord for patrons only! so we can chat without me having to make a whole ass post yano? little back and forth? teeny tiny script excerpts? in case you don't have discord there won't be anything on there that's like, a video or anything, just little teeny updates that arent worth making a post about!

here's the invite link if you're not in already https://discord.gg/jXXrHkGAYW

to get a role and see the channel you need to link your patreon account to your discord account also

love u hope ur shaneing it up wherever you are xx

shane spreadsheet shane spreadsheet

whats up. here's commenter access to my big shane dialogue spreadsheet. if u ever wanted to look at every piece of his dialogue from 3 versions of the game, now u can. im still working on it, the ? are where i feel like there's something and i need to look it up - i gave the sharing link commenter access so if you think something's wrong you can leave me a comment. or you can just leave me a comment for shits and gigs lmao xx

BONKERS SHIT I FOUND IN THE FILES

dont even know how to describe this video just a fucking bonkers experience. you'll see what i mean

shane day 7 update

day 7 if you dont count all the time i thought about it over the weekend and also before i started. lol

in this video i will pretty much exclusively update you about the shane video? dont think i get too distracted !!!!

ps im gonna upload another video shortly after this one because I FOUND SOMETHING FUCKING BONKERS IN THE GAME FILES

pps i know you can kinda read some of the stuff i wrote but its all first draft / notes at this point ok. ok? ok

stalking shane in SDV 1.07

whats up gamers!! treat for ya. whats the opposite of a shitpost. a pisspost. well this is that cos i edited it and everything. there's MUSIC

basically trying to see what's different about non-romanceable shane compared to current shane. so i had to play loads of stardew and talk to him loads.... oh no i hated it (...NOT!!)........... plus just general yapping about how much i love him. also i do the egg hunt

alternative title: stardew valley youtuber reveals herself to be bad at stardew valley

shane video day 1 update

in this video i will:

• talk about the shane video - progress, early thoughts about structure and outfit, how weird he makes me

• talk about the 2 heart scene which is inarguably the best cutscene in the game dont start with me

since i made this on monday i managed to download a previous build of stardew so i played the non-romanceable version of shane!! was heartbreaking not to get to dance w my man at the flower dance i'll tell you that for a fact. so now im thinking i can start the video with like. original shane. not that horrible picture of him lol, like 1.0 shane and discuss that and then get into the heart events that were added to make him romanceable! cos his original heart events were just the 2h scene and the (now) 7h pt2 scene with the joja ad (it was his 6h scene). and that's it! mental!!!!! eric!!! as if anyone could see that 2h scene and not want to ride that train to bone town and back!!! so yeah since that 6h scene is kind of... random? i dont think its the end of the world if i discuss it out of order and i think that could be an interesting way to approach it

im so deep in the shane sauce yesterday i spent all day working on my shane stardew valley youtube video and then ah. ok free time now. working on my shane stardew valley fanfiction. then sleep

impromptu critique of The Holiday (2006)

in this video i will:

• yap about The Holiday (2006)

• brief health update (im fine dw)

• try and wrap a present and fail

• do some great impressions from Die Hard (1988)

• pet muffin until he tries to eat me

also have you guys heard the justin bieber version of little drummer boy????? why does it go SO hard ????

new video: booboo redux (music version)

so this is the exact same video but with music in case u vibe with that more!! youtube doesnt get 2 versions. u are special. u probably knew that anyway tho

new video: booboo redux (no music version)

ok i now have a section where i wear a dunce hat and declare myself to be booboo the fool and also read loads of lines from logan paul's apology video. so this should be the final version.

this one has no music like the original but i also made a version with music so i will upload that immediately after this one <3 so you can pick what ya want

im boo boo the fool

im probably gonna write dunce on it cos otherwise it looks a bit. yano. klan adjacent

[closed] Q&A questions!!!

whats UP gamers

i will be doing a q&a sometime in the new year so if you have any questions for me leave them as comments!!

since you are my special little sams i will be making a patreon cut where i will answer every question you give me (unless they are weird) (i mean even then tbh i am getting too comfortable sharing things online hahah) so go for it go for it!! ask as many as you want. i dont need an excuse to yap but it helps. love u merry christmas seasonnnnn 💖

p.s. no rush, i'll just edit the title to say [closed] when im not taking them any more, but thatll be in like a month lol

edit 19/1: now closed!!! thanks everyone <3

updates / yapping

things discussed in this video

• new video (couples video)

• seb BTS / shane video

• Q&A

• 30k subs (with a side of oversharing / using you as my therapist)

• crafts / stickers show and tell

• do you think I should let my roots grow out yes or no

[new video] talking about ships !!!

edit 12/12: oh look its a palindrome lol. anyway hi so number 1 i decided to put music in it so i'll upload that version, number 2 i have been informed of some FLAWS in my methodology so will have to edit some stuff out/in, the meat of it is the same tho its just i was wrong about the ao3 tagging system. im sorry ao3 please let me keep posting my shane self inserts xx

--

hi i havent come up with the title for it yet hehe but here is my new video!!!!! a lot looser than my usual content, unscripted, just opinions and vibes yano?? of course i still did my research and back up all my arguments in the text but like. for ME it's loose

would love love love to know what you guys think, i mention at the very end of the vid but - obviously my usual content is like, i wrote 30,000 words about one very specific subject, but that means i have gradually been posting less and less as the videos creep up in scope, so if i can do like a looser video in between those ones then that would mean i can post more!

but tbh it makes me kind of insecure like ... just giving u my opinions? why would u care about my opinion im not special. thats my internal monologue speaking lol, if u didnt put days of research into it why should anyone listen? but then its like. my opinion is based on the 11 hours long videos ive made about these characters. idk u see im conflicted but i like how this video turned out, i think its entertaining, last night i wasted half an hour just watching the parts where i talk about shane and saying "YES"

OH and there isn't any music in it it's kind of just a big podcast vibe, but let me know if anyone has an opinion on whether i should put music in the background? just like a lofi or piano kinda beat to have something interesting for your ears, lmk what you think

ok love you!!!! thank u for being here!!!!!! im gonna film a little update video today i think cos i just washed my hair haha

me: im gonna make a half an hour video

the first cut of the video:

new vid coming soon

in which i talk about the canon and non canon couples of sdv! heres an excerpt of some extremely on brand behaviour

[new video!!] a heartfelt defence of doctor who's worst episode

good morning gamers!!

please enjoy the definitive version of my new video!!

unfortunately i can only share it via a patreon upload and not unlisted youtube link - i had to HEAVILY filter the footage in order to upload the youtube version, so this unfiltered version flags all the content id angry symbols and would be blocked globally aka unshareable. its super annoying cos im so proud of the video!! but oh well, at least you guys get the supreme version :D

let me know what you think! super excited to hear what people think about a non stardew video from me - any feedback even if it's critical is welcome, im in this bitch for the long haul and would love to improve! do you think i did an ok job of explaining the show for someone who doesn't watch it? was the music too quiet? these are things i wonder myself so yah hmu. i love u guys i care about ur nuanced opinions xx

ps im going to see zayn malik tomorrow :o in concert not just as mates lol. i wish

pps im working on the captions today so they will be added asap xx (edit: captions are up :D )

update/complaining

in this video i will

• tell you when the new video will be out

• show you spoilers of the new video

• complain a lot about youtube content ID

• film my screen like some kind of boomer

• update on shane video

• show you 1 craft

new video snippet

incredibly based, nuanced, well researched, well argued, red pilled, woke, academic points being made in this tiny snippet from the doctor who video im working on

sorry im in a void i did it with green screen and i havent put in anything behind yet lol

a little cringe as a treat

hi gamers, for the doctor who video im working on i went through multiple annoying levels of admin to get access to my old tumblr account!! so this is a video of me going through, specifically, the gifsets/edits that i personally made back in the day. there's a lot of them holy shit girlie was grinding

i hope it brings you a morsel of joy, i recorded this on the night of november 5th so yano. before democracy was shaken to its core. i personally am a 'distract myself from world events with silly nonsense' kind of person so if you are too, here's some silly nonsense xxx

ps you cant view my blog because tumblr has marked it as NSFW and i have no idea why lol

oo wee ooooo

what’s up i caught a cold and am suffering big time

in other news i think my next video will actually be about doctor who. i was struggling to write anything and tbh i think i need a break from stardew. the sebastian video turned my brain inside out like it was so long thinking about this game that i kinda burned myself out on it a little, and i started rewatching doctor who and got so excited about a video idea. i think after 13 videos and 9 months i could use a little variation you know?

so i will hopefully start working on that monday if i feel better, still planning on it being a half an hour jobbie, focusing on one episode specifically. (and making it accessible to people who don’t watch it! like you’ll still get something out of it i hope)

thought id share this now to see if anyone has strong opinions ? obviously i’ve just been talking about stardew up until now but it was always my plan to talk about other stuff, and i do get comments of people saying they’d watch me talk about anything but like. actually doing it is another thing!! so yeah is that exciting? is that disappointing? worrying? are you cautiously optimistic? just happy to get that sweet sweet content? lmk

edit: shane video immediately afterwards lol

SEB BLOOPERS

straight up bloopin my shit rn