SexuaLobster

Dairymancer sound track

I wanted a sinister surfy sound for the Teal Mist theme, I mostly used the instruments from the tense conversation track in Sweet Boy Beach.  I like the chillwave drum kit.  

Fernando's Dairymancer theme is a simple repetition, I made it as a placeholder but it was so suitable I didn't end up changing much about it.  

Dairymancer

This is the story of a young upstart challenging a veteran for sexy man clout.  My goal was to finish it in 4 weeks and I did it in a shade under.  I've tried to write short fight scenes with threadbare premises for the purposes of fun short projects before, I think this one clicks nicely.  It's not intended to be the first of a series or anything like that, but if you'd like to see more eccentric manwhore battles let me know.  I chose to make it because surfshark asked me to make an ad for them before Black Friday (there's no ad in this video I haven't made it yet).

My project list at the moment is:

Meth Orcs: The Stench of Failure - It's about half done, perhaps slightly under.

After that I'm thinking of making Gazza of Penrith, which is basically what if The Witcher was Australian.

It's too far in the future after that, but I've got some diverse cartoon ideas, including a Ragemelon reboot (if anyone doesn't remember him he's an angry melon...but what if he was also a soldier in the Vietnam War???), a story about a wizard foot fetishist, and a new Sweet Boy Beach idea.

Thank you for supporting this project!  I hope you enjoy it.  If you're more interested in Meth Orcs, I'm resuming it now.

(I will post the soundtrack and MP4 tomorrow)

Dairymancer update

I'm aiming to finish the Dairymancer short at the end of this week.  Tomorrow I will finish the animation, and then I have 4 days to finish the music, sfx, 2 new board member drawings and also an ad read for Surfshark.

One of the last things I have to animate is Fernando walking away from camera with an ass wiggle double bounce shown above.  I actually don't know if I can pull it off, walk cycles in general are easy for me but walking to and from camera is harder, and adding the unusual torso moves and butt jiggle is harder again.  Hopefully if I fail it will at least look funny which will be fine in the context of the shot.

I'll share this horrific first pass animation again from Where did the Gnomes go?  Gooseman looks so stupid in this, I had to throw it out and almost start again.  

This short has given me a chance to animate some cool yet not very time intensive effects.  

Believe it or not, this is a battle of seduction.

Care for some yoghurt?

If you don't see it by the 20th, then I'm late!  

Dairymancer short

Youtube mirror of video above 

The above video is a work in progress, it is just to show the voice of the archer elf on the right.  I didn't expect that he would turn out to be Australian but the voice actor Business Orc tried this voice and it's funny (he's American btw).  It reminds me of the elves in the Dota cartoon if you've seen that, there was this squad of 4 elves and they all sounded Australian to me.  One of them later became a god and started doing a Scottish accent.  Also Jheese the space Australian from DBZ comes to mind.

I'm pausing Meth Orcs to make a Fernando short called Dairymancer.  It will be around 1:30 long, the goal is to finish it by the end of November (hopefully earlier).  This is the first shot, you can see Nanders looking at some water.  I tend to draw characters soulfully looking at the ocean a fair bit recently.

I started Dairymancer because Surfshark asked if I could make an ad read for black friday, but they haven't told me when they need it by and I have a feeling they will need it a while before black friday and I won't have it done by then.  Hopefully it will work out, I've communicated all of that to them but in any case it's a fun short so far and I will finish it whether or not I can work things out with Surfshark.

I knew about necromancy and pyromancy but I only recently learned about the existence of Geomancy and Chronomancy.  (And also Gnomemancy and Pizzamancy.)  

This is some smelly mist that the antagonist can emit.  It had to be animated on 1s (one drawing per frame) because we see it close up.  I thought I could do it on 2s or 4s so it took way longer than I expected.  Looks pretty nice though I'm sure I can reuse it since I often portray smelly things.

It will look more like this with some blur and glow and the stars will have a parallax effect.

This is the first glimpse of the antagonist, Teal Mist.  He smells nice.  He's being voiced by Jake aka Scaredofclocks, he voiced the unfortunate catboy leader from the last Meth Orcs and he is also Treshtog's friend in the Meth Orcs I'm making at the moment.

Oops Fernando is popping out there.

Here he is from the front.  He's rocking a mohawk, mullet and boob tube.

I tried a few facial hair combo suggestions but I think we'll stick with clean shaven.

I've always wanted to animate a manwhore battle of seduction, but it never came up in any of the ideas I had.  This cartoon is a battle of seduction with a very flimsy pretense, unlike the usual 3-5 minute denser style of story I usually do.

Plan is to go straight back to Meth Orcs once this is done.

This is the timeline in premiere atm.  The first half is mostly complete and the second half is still to go.

Patreon has changed a fair bit recently, one thing they appear to have done is introduce a public subscription.  I'm going to make this post only public, if you're not a patron this is the kind of post I do every 2 weeks or so when I have enough things to share.

SMELL MY AXE

Youtube mirror of video above 

The Stench of Failure is coming along nicely, I'm up to the first cluster of action shots.

Here's Treshtog getting startled by a Llama while peeing.  I was going to design a weird fantasy beast, maybe that would have been better, but a Llama felt right, and I've never animated one.  Maybe they are rare and Treshtog has never seen one before.

The bad guys are purple elves again.  I haven't had a regular elf in Meth Orcs yet, maybe there aren't any in this world.  In Meth Orcs 2 the purple elves were all hot babes, this time they're all dudes and I want to go extra on the ears, like really go 1980s anime extreme elf ear zone.  This shot still needs lip syncing and a finished background.

The plush toy company Gimmeswag is probably sick of me, I've been requesting minor alterations to Treshtog's face for a while now.  A few people on discord suggested he should be more fierce:

I ran a poll and the results confirm fierce is better.

Meth Orcs Smelly update

I changed the name from Ambush to The Stench of Failure.  Much better title!  My other title idea is Big and Wet but that is not as relevant to the story as these two, so I'm pretty sure it will stay as The Stench of Failure.

The settings are quite varied in previous Meth Orcs, for this one I imagined it taking place in a nice country side with green hills and blue skies.  They are following a trail through grass with forest on either side of them.

The video shows the process of animating a few of the early shots.  As usual I might be limited in the future in what I can share without spoiling the plot but I will warn before I spoil (if I need to).

I've put all of Treshtog's lines in except for miscellaneous grunts.  I've only approached one actor so far and I don't even know who I'll get for the other characters yet, I need to get on that.  The problem with Meth Orcs is I ask my go to actors to voice characters who promptly get killed, so I can't keep using the same people.

This is the shot I'm on at the moment, where Treshtog encounters a cute Llama type creature (I might redesign it a bit)

Help! A goat ate my shorts! plus Fernando's shower technique

Youtube mirror 

Some of you will have already seen Help! A goat ate my shorts!  This version includes an extra scene afterwards where Gooseman gives Fernando some audience feedback and Fernando discusses his shower technique.

The goat doesn't actually get this angry in the cartoon, I initially had the goat placidly eating the shorts but changed it to make it more clickable.

Five Dolla

This one took me a while to unpick and find an order that works.  I think it would be a bit dull if it didn't have the melodic bridge parts but I didn't come up with them until near the end.  I like that there were so many gross grandpa suggestions because of the aborted grandpa song in the cartoon.  That kind of chaotic seeping is one thing I love about the collab projects.

Lyrics:

5 dolla in my pocket so nice

Just enough to buy a fat bag of ice

@RisqueBisquet  

Can't afford juice chew ice in my car

Drive to the highschool to pick up my Grandpa

@13menrollingdown  

Two plus two plus zero plus one

I could buy a small fraction of a gun

@Turnil321 

5 dollars worth less every day

It's the reptilians fault I say

@SuperShadowGuard 

5 bucks, not enough for artichoke

Don't give a damn if I go broke

@SlashBolt 

It's called inflation and it's here to stay

Not the kind that grandpa does in a sexy way

@thisnameismine  

A movie ticket costs nineteen ninety nine

Might as well get drunk on a bladder of wine

@clownymoosebean 

Five dollars used to buy a footlong

Now i gotta suck toes where did i go wrong

@lonewanderer7926  

Buy some chips eat them at the bus stop

Im the boss of the dollar shop

@thelegguy  

5 dolla in my pocket, grandpa in the locket

Not because he's dead, just because I care about him

5 dolla!  5 dolla!

@lonewanderer7926  

Every day I worked hard for this note

Even though it's not enough to fix my boat

@lonewanderer7926  

Such potential, what a time to be alive

Strutting around with my dollars five 

@eldonhoffman855  

Small change fills my pockets with elation 

Makes my moist groin subject to inflation

@thelordandsaviourcattochri3539  

My pocket's feeling light, and you know I'm down bad

5 dolla just enough to motorboat a saggy grand-dad.

Five dolla getting sadder and sadder

Lay my weary head upon this goon bladder

@cheesyboygouda 

Wont remember nothing from tonight

Five dollar in my pocket makes it feel all right

Uncle Warren visits his friends WIP video

Youtube mirror

I intended to make this sooner, what delayed me was figuring out how to extend the track.  Hopefully this is interesting enough to watch.

You may have already seen the first 30 seconds I posted it a while back, I didn't want to post shots that included gnomes at the time to avoid spoilers.

Uncle Warren's tune extended

Quite a few people asked for this tune to be extended and I wanted to make an extended version of the work in progress video for the entire Uncle Warren forest scene.  I felt I needed to break it down in the middle, mostly because I like the subsequent buildup, hopefully it is satisfying for the people who liked the short version of this track.  I don't do them often but I like programming intricate keytar-style solos they're quite fun.

Help! A goat ate my shorts!

Youtube mirror

This is the first scene of Fernando and Gooseman's adult film up until the adult part (It's all the manwhore guild will allow us to show.).

If you want to see the rest you'll have to sail out to international waters and even then I can't promise anything.

Is it because Gooseman did not use guild actors or is it because the film is too sexy and the guild is only trying to protect us from going insane with lust?  Perhaps one day we will learn the truth.

This version is only for patrons, I'm going to reframe it now in 9:16 for youtube shorts, facebook etc.

Help! A goat ate my shorts! theme

I've been noodling this on the guitar for ages and I'm glad I think I found a nice use for it finally.  I ripped the chorus progression from "The sun whose rays are all ablaze" by Gillbert & Sullivan.

Fantastic shorts + Gooseman toy

Fernando is having a great day showing off his shiny new shorts.

I went all out with the background, I want it to feel like he's at a picturesque farm.  There's only a few backgrounds in this so I don't feel like it's a huge commitment.

Here is the first of several antagonists Fernando will face, Billy the goat.

On another topic, the Gooseman plush toy is live now if anyone is interested.  Use the patreon code THEGOOSEISLOOSE to get 20% off, visit https://bit.ly/3qoOmF1

I don't think I've ever painted Gooseman in such a horny way.  Because it's for the toy launch video I thought I could take a risk, it doesn't matter that much if the video gets slapped by youtube.

Where did the Gnomes go? soundtrack + MP4

HD MP4 

I enjoy any excuse to make a dance track.  I wanted to create a similar energy to the Madonna track used in the gnomes video I linked to in the main post without being derivative.

I used the same track in the majority of the cartoon that I used in the last cartoon GRFO, which is actually a track from 2008 I used in the Angry Dog series if anyone remembers that.  I considered using "At the office", the track I used in a lot of Fernando and Gooseman's previous cartoons, but this one has a gentler yet more chaotic sound that I like.

Uncle Cool Song does not have lyrics now that I think of it so I shouldn't call it a song.  It is a cool riff I came up with while experimenting with some unusual scales.

Where did the Gnomes go? soundtrack

I enjoy any excuse to make a dance track.  I wanted to create a similar energy to the Madonna track used in the gnomes video I linked to in the main post without being derivative.  

I used the same track in the majority of the cartoon that I used in the last cartoon GRFO, which is actually a track from 2008 I used in the Angry Dog series if anyone remembers that.  I considered using "At the office", the track I used in a lot of Fernando and Gooseman's previous cartoons, but this one has a gentler yet more chaotic sound that I like.

Uncle Cool Song does not have lyrics now that I think of it so I shouldn't call it a song.  It is a cool riff I came up with while experimenting with some unusual scales.  

Where did the Gnomes Go?

Unlisted Youtube mirror if you prefer or if patreon video does not work for you.  I'm not sure patreon's video function is up to sharing full projects yet so please don't hesitate to use the mirror.

For now I am releasing the cartoon just for patrons, so please do not share it (yet).  I will upload it for everyone else later this month.

I'm really happy with this one, it captures what I wanted to express when writing it.  I didn't think it would take as many hours to animate but I went harder on Uncle Warren's scene near the end than I planned to.  That wasn't the only tricky part either.

Also I hope you enjoy my weird porn drawings, they have been called "wonderfully unsexy".  They're the only lewds I've ever done excluding some horny drawings I did when I was 12 years old which have long since been destroyed.  And some house of squid comics I guess.

Uncle Warren's scene is inspired by this video, which I directly reference.  I like how it expresses longing and sadness.  I would like to live on the edge of an old growth forest and catch sight of some gnomes occasionally.

Thanks you all for supporting this project!

I've started animating the first scene of Help!  A goat ate my shorts!, Fernando and Gooseman's porno which they reference in a few videos.  I'm animating the preamble up until the sex.  It's not a large project and I expect to have it finished in a few weeks, and during this time I'm also going to make the 5 dolla song.

After that I'm still planning on starting another Meth Orcs, although now I think it will be a new version of the Gun Imp idea with Fanny Ranger, the direct sequel to the last one.  The previous draft was impossibly large, I gutted it and I now have a version that has all of the best parts and is something I can animate myself in a reasonable time, although it is still a large project.  It has no weird fetishes and no catboys, however it does have lots of Fanny Ranger dancing.  In fact, it will be the dancingest episode yet.

Gnome update

It's almost finished, I think I will have it ready to show in the first couple of days of next month.

After that I'm planning on making the first scene of Help!  A goat ate my shorts!  It's a short idea, I don't think it will take longer than 2 weeks.

This is a poll I put up on discord, I've got three Meth Orcs episodes.  I was going to make the one with the futa witch restaurateur who garnishes her soup with her enchanged smegma (it was called Soup Zone but now it's called Smegmania).  However I don't know if I can adequately make a version that will be able to be on youtube and also it's rather large, I'm not sure it's the best use of my time.  Now I'm thinking I should make the one where Treshtog pisses on his legs and has to defend a shipment of meth from an ambush.  It doesn't sound as distinctive but I think it will be very good.  I'm re-writing the idea I mentioned a few posts ago which is the events after Inflates you Big and Round, so no Fanny Ranger in these eps but I think she will come back in the future.

The poll made me realise that not many people will click on a project which signals that it contains vore, so I don't think I will pursue Meth Orcs - The Vore the Merrier any further.  

Gnome update: Forest WIP

This is my first time making one of these, let me know if it's interesting, once the cartoon is finished I'll make one of the entire forest sequence but the second half contains spoilers so I won't share it until everyone has had a chance to see the cartoon.

I received lots of great suggestions for the 5 dolla song collab, at the moment my plans are to spend the rest of this month on this cartoon and then in August:

- 5 dolla song

- Help!  A goat ate my shorts! (it's quite short so i'm hoping I can do it in less than 2 weeks and it's SFW btw)

- Gooseman toy launch

- Possibly another Gooseman and Fernando wet jamboree video where they do a lo-fi performance of 5 dolla song and start another collab?  I'll see how it goes.

- After all that is complete start the next Meth Orcs.

What if Grandpa was a busty schoolgirl? hm??

Made this quick one with my Gooseman's jamboree assets from a year ago.  I still think this series idea is solid even though neither of the music videos (Earthly Pleasure and Purrnando) did well.  But perhaps it suits more of a lofi approach, I'll see what suggestions people write for the 5 dolla song and how it progresses but I do not plan to make a full on music video for it.

What I would like to do some time in the next 2 months is animate the first scene of Help!  A goat ate my shorts!  Up until Fernando starts to get handsy with some farmhands.  There is a goat present but he is not a participant beyond eating Fernando's shorts.

Going for a stroll

I'm almost properly back on Gnomes cartoon, just 1 or 2 days more of work project to do, but given there's not much of the month left I have paused Patreon again.  No one will be charged on July 1st!

It's been nice animating leathery old piece of shit Uncle Warren again.

His weird jacket thing billows slightly in the wind as he purposefully strides.

I've gone back and forwards on what to make afterwards.  There's a cartoon idea set on Pleasure Island where Gooseman needs to solve the mystery of who put laxatives in the buffet breakfast at the resort.  He's the only one left standing because he skipped breakfast.  And another set in the mountains where Fernando and Gooseman are pursued by a criminal gang because they stole their crazy beans.  But I think having made so many Fernando and Gooseman cartoons in the last 2 years I think I will give them a break.

I was also thinking about a sketch show idea animating my favourite comics that I've never animated, but I think I will make a Meth Orcs instead.

I've written a sequel to the last Meth Orcs about Treshtog trying to claim the meth Fanny promised him for saving her life, only to be eaten by an assassin.  It's cool but I wasn't able to resolve it succinctly, it would be 7-9 minutes if animated and it's full of action.  

I think instead I will make another Meth Orcs idea which doesn't include Fanny Ranger and is not a sequel to anything and is a more standard 4ish minutes.  If the series continues to thrive there's no reason I can't continue Fanny's story later on.  

It's called SOUP ZONE, it's about Treshtog and his friend Blegnorb encountering a futanari witch who lures people into her lair with free soup and then casts genital altering magic on them.

Also!  The Gooseman toy has been approved.  He looks really good!  I think they will send me one soon and I can start making promo materials with it.  I think it will go on sale in August.

Patreon pause (pic unrelated)

I mentioned it in my last post but I thought I'd mention it again in case anyone was wondering, but I've been doing working this month and have paused the patreon, so no one will be charged on June 1st.  I've almost finished, it is a short one off job that I was pretty keen to do so I thought it was worth it.

I reframed the scene I uploaded here a month ago and published it as a youtube short and it actually did pretty well.  

Only other news is the Fernando toys have been mailed out and everyone seems happy.  We're going through the process of making a Gooseman now, I've seen a picture of a first version spec toy and we've asked for some changes on it.  

Gooseman shows Fernando some yiff (Where did the Gnomes go? teaser)

The premise of this scene is that Gooseman wants to pivot to making content for zoomers and Fernando wants to know what they like so he can appeal to them.

One thing that will probably stick out to you is the art Fernando is looking at.  I'm hoping that I'll be able to have a mosaic tile censored version on youtube, with an uncensored version on Newgrounds.  I uploaded an unlisted censored version and it didn't set off their adult content algos so who knows I might get away with it.

This is an early shot that I've left unfinished because I completely messed up Gooseman's walk.  He looks goofy as hell and I'm gonna have to redo some of it.  The door part is fine and the sitting down will work but how he gets from position A to B is not so good.

If you bought a Fernando toy, they are made now, and will ship out earlier than expected (probably mid May).

I'm really pleased with how Meth Orcs went and a bit surprised by how little by comparison Gooseman Runs for Office has been viewed.  The disparity is quite large.  The two projects are very different in content and tone sure but still I thought there'd be more interest in GRFO.  It felt like dropping a pebble into the big content void and waiting for 20 seconds before hearing a tiny plop.  After Where did the Gnomes go? I'm planning another Meth Orcs called Gun Imp (or possibly Gem Wallet).  This one will be another doozy, probably the longest one yet.

I'm going to do some storyboarding work for most of May so I will once again be pausing patreon next month.  No one will be charged on June 1st!

Gooseman Runs for Office - 2 Extra Scenes

Here's the extra scenes for Gooseman Runs for Office I storyboarded but decided not to animate.  

They weren't part of the original script but I felt like there were too many lizard threads thrown out there and not worked with, so I attempted an ending that would resolve them.  However, in my opinion it didn't improve the cartoon enough for me to justify animating them.  I read Hajime No Ippo recently which if you don't know it is a boxing manga (it's awesome btw check it out if you haven't read it and enjoy manga), and I was inspired to throw a smash and an uppercut in there.  I'd like to animate some more fisticuffs.

Prime Minister Grabath Hirfo is voiced by Velex.

GRFO sound track + MP4

GRFO contains 2 new tracks and 2 old ones.

Woah Woah is something i've been kicking about on my guitar for over a year now.

Some of you may recognise Todd's Office, it was originally George's Theme in an old series I made in 2008 called Angry Dog.   I used it as placeholder music but it fit so well I kept it in the final version.

Newspaper Scene is a track from Sweet Boy Beach - Taco Salad sped up and adjusted 2 semitones.

Download the MP4 

GRFO sound track

GRFO contains 2 new tracks and 2 old ones.  

Woah Woah is something i've been kicking about on my guitar for over a year now.  

Some of you may recognise Todd's Office, it was originally George's Theme in an old series I made in 2008 called Angry Dog.   I used it as placeholder music but it fit so well I kept it in the final version.  

Newspaper Scene is a track from Sweet Boy Beach - Taco Salad sped up and adjusted 2 semitones.

Gooseman Runs for Office

Watch it on Newgrounds 

This is the story of Gooseman's campaign for a senate seat.  Things go from bad to worse when he is sabotaged by an old rival...

I storyboarded two extra scenes about the lizard prime minister to try and enhance this, but they didn't improve it for me enough to justify animating them (the second one was quite long).  This is the cartoon as it was originally intended, without the extra scenes.  Actually the spinning newspaper section is new too.  When I have them tidied up enough I'll upload them separately in animatic form.  

This is a very old script from when my writing style was a bit more...I dunno, random?  If you've been watching for a long while you might remember when Gooseman was an organ trafficker.  This is set before the Manwhore Industries cartoons.

Thank you for supporting my projects!  Next project is Where did the Gnomes go?

Switched back to Gooseman Runs for Office

Just a reminder if you didn't see my last post, no one will be billed on April 1st.  I worked for over half of this month on a job.

I've switched back to Gooseman Runs for Office.  I finished the Where did the Gnomes Go? animatic but decided it was better to switch back.  I'll shelve Gnomes for a while, I might even make another Meth Orcs episode first.

I've uploaded a teaser video where Fernando tells a little story but over half of it is Todd berating him.  You can see Todd's almost finished office and a painting of an orc family above Fernando's head.  This was AI generated and it's just a placeholder, I'll replace it with something.

I added two scenes to the cartoon which makes it work better, I've had a bit of trouble with it, I keep massaging it but I can't get the knots out.  I thought rather than shelving it forever I should face it and try my best to make it as good as I can.  It's one of those times where something seems great in a script and then when I make it I struggle to match that sparkle. 

Patreon pause for a month, Gnomes update

I'm going to pause patreon for a month, no one will be charged on April 1st!

I was asked to design some characters for a fellow I used to work for, and I agreed, thinking it would take 1-2 days.  However the amount of designs he wants are far greater than I expected, so I have spent a few weeks this month drawing for him.  I will probably still spend the final week of this month on Where did the Gnomes go?

I've roughed out an animatic and have started animating the first few shots. It contains a mini music video (or a longish montage if you prefer), I have ideas for the music but for now I'm just noodling ideas for it on my guitar.

Hopefully Patreon doesn't ding me for adult content here.  Fernando is trying to wrap his head around why zoomers don't watch his videos (it's cause they're too busy jacking off to sexy planes).

WIP of the establishment shot.  Background is unfinished, Gooseman will have a shadow and I'll probably add some passing cars and slight camera move in.  I'm hoping the neon lettering in the shape of a big jizzing peen at timecode 0:00 won't set off youtube's censor algos.  As ever, I'm prepared to take a small risk for the sake of smut.

Here's my size comparison drawing for the Gooseman plush toy.  I'd like the two of them to be height and girth accurate for the people who purchase both.

Here's their design.  Gooseman lacks a cool feature like Fernando's removable singlet (his tie will be separate from the body), apart from his pink shirt outfit he just wears a singlet or green shirt sometimes.

METH ORCS Soundtrack + MP4

I didn't know how the music for this should sound until quite late.  If I don't have a clear idea bout music for a scene I don't think about it too much and an idea usually comes while I'm animating it.

The scene 1 theme is something I've been noodling about on guitar for over a year.

I had fun making the Blow You Up song,  and I hope the lyrics won't get the video demonetised.

Download the MP4 

METH ORCS Soundtrack

I didn't know how the music for this should sound until quite late.  If I don't have a clear idea bout music for a scene I don't think about it too much and an idea usually comes while I'm animating it.  

The scene 1 theme is something I've been noodling about on guitar for over a year.  

I had fun making the Blow You Up song,  and I hope the lyrics won't get the video demonetised.