He's shown you where he comes from - now it's your turn. First stop, a watering hole.
---
early access! a continuation of the Elf Ranger storyline was by far the most requested thing in the survey i sent out last week, so here it is! this is part 3 of the series, and i'm planning on writing at least one more part (probably more). i hope you enjoy it.
love,
phas đź’–
my hands are back on camera again. this time i've got some lovely crinkly packages full of dice to share with you.
i started this video rambling for a while about my microphone and stuff, so if you'd prefer to get straight to the crinkly tingles jump to 3:20. also, as i was working with quite reflective things for part of it, i wore a mask to protect my identity. you can see this as a kinda spooky looking reflection in some parts of the video. sorry about that!! hope the tingles make it worthwhile. i really love the sounds those dice packets make...
coming this weekend: either the next part of the Gale audio, or maybe a sequel to the Elf Ranger series. i haven't decided yet. perhaps let me know? i might do a poll.
love,
phas đź’–
Your aptitude at manipulating the Weave isn't all that gets his attention.
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early access! this is part 1 of what will probably be a 3 part series (with the third part being one of those there Patreon Exclusives). i don't think i did as good an impression of Gale as I did Astarion, but i hope you enjoy this nonetheless
love,
phas đź’–
You may have forgotten, but you're still gonna have fun together!
---
here's a soft little NSFW conclusion to the Valentine's Day audio.
In the version uploaded to Patreon, the listener has a vagina. If you'd prefer for them to have a penis, click here.
love,
phas đź’–
He's like "Oh god, no, please, not them, anyone but them~". Fucking tsunderes.
---
early access!! this script was written by Lia - thank you <3. tomorrow: a soft, sleepy, spicy conclusion to the valentine's day audio.
love,
phas đź’–
this is pretty much it for strahd readings now. possibly i missed an early chapter or two? things were loser back then. anyway, it's pretty much done.
enjoy,
phas đź’–
It doesn't really matter. You still love each other.
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early access! here's something short and cute for a silly holiday that doesn't really matter but, like, i can't *not* make a valentine's audio, now, can i?
probably a NSFW conclusion for this one later this week!! something sleepy and loving and low-intensity.
love,
phas đź’–
He's spent so long alone, but finally, now, you are together.
---
early access! here's something fun and lively as a palette cleanser after sadboy astarion. enjoy!!
love,
phas đź’–
here you are, patrons - the NSFW conclusion to the Astarion audio.
i'll be real, it hasn't done anywhere near as well as i was hoping it would on youtube. that didn't stop me making the patreon conclusion longer than the original, so here's 1h10m total Astarion content for you. this is basically a film. enjoy ✨
love,
phas đź’–
skip this if it's of no interest to you, but i thought i'd post the first version of the Astarion script that i scrapped completely because it wasn't good enough. i hope you'll agree that the re-write was worth it, because this sucks. i'm not sure what exactly about it i hated so much, but anyway, here you go:
[int. a high-end function room, hosting a party for the elites of Baldur’s Gate]
[ASTARION approaches the LISTENER]
Hello, there! Behind you, darling.
[they shake hands]
Good to meet you. I’m Astarion. Astarion AncunĂn. Forgive me for approaching so forwardly — I saw you from the across the room and noticed you had nobody to speak to, so I thought I’d offer myself up to you. If you’d rather be left alone then, by all means, just tell me.
Mhm. Good. I must say, it’s unusual to see someone here who isn’t spending all of their time getting in as many people’s good books as possible. This place is positively swarming with brown-nosers. Are you… Appreciating the atmosphere? Or are you just here for the drinks?
And yet I see you don’t currently have a drink. Absurd, darling, you can’t survive in a room like this without being at least a little intoxicated. Can I get you one? No, don’t answer, it’s already happening. Bartender! A drink for my friend here, if you please. What would you like?
Oh, no, no, that won’t do at all. No, you’re surely worth more than that. It must be something from the cellar, for you. I know they’ve got the quote-unquote good stuff squirrelled away down there. Yes, I think a glass of Jasmarin Shadow would suit you down to the ground. So, 2 of those, my good man. In fact — bring the bottle. I’m sure we’ll work our way through it.
[a satisfied chuckle] Mmhmm, yes, it does happen to be desperately expensive. That’s of no concern to me. What’s the point in coming to a function like this if you aren’t willing to splash out a little?
Hmm. You seem unimpressed. Well, well. That is a surprise.
I mean, normally the types that show up at these things are… Shallow. Easily impressed by extravagant displays of obscene wealth. But not you, it seems?
Goodness! Quite a rare thing to hear in these circles. You find it distasteful? My, oh my, I have commited a faux-pas. In that case — bartender, that bottle of Jasmarin? Put it back, and bring us some fireswill, there’s a good fellow.
Yes, fireswill. I’m looking forward to it. Spending so much time with the precise sort of foppish idiot who would be impressed by a 450gp bottle of wine has me longing for the cheap stuff, sometimes, so… I’m glad you said what you said.
No, don’t get me wrong, fine wine is wonderful, but sometimes one just needs to get good and pissed on a high-proof spirit. Besides, between you and me, Jasmarin is massively overrated, and these days most bottles are corked — completely undrinkable. Like I said, I only ordered it for the price tag, in the hopes of impressing you. It works more often than not. I’m very glad it didn’t this time, even if it has made me look like a snob. I’ll just have to work harder, won’t I?
[two shot glasses placed on bar and filled with spirit]
Ah, here we are.
[ASTARION takes the shot in one mouthful, and shudders]
Haha. Delightfully repulsive. Bartender, another.
[the glass is refilled]
I’ll… Nurse this one. Fireswill isn’t typically a sipping drink but I see no harm in giving it it’s time in the spotlight on this occasion. What do you think?
Yes, it truly is rough as a anything, isn’t it? And just you wait until the next day. Haha, ah, it’s as though you’ve been pummelled by a minotaur. Utterly despicable stuff, so look forward to that.
Mm, now, tell me about yourself. Now we’ve established that it’s not for the drinks, nor to suck up to the rest of the city’s elite, why are you really here?
Me first? Oh, come now, there’s no need to be so coy. But, ah, if you insist — much as I loathe to talk about myself, for you, fine. You already know my name - Astarion. I work for the city, as a magistrate. It’s dreadfully boring, I’m afraid — but also disgustingly well-paid, so I don’t tend to complain.
Oh, I oversee legal proceedings on the city’s behalf, administer hearings, mostly for crimes of a financial nature, and… [ASTARION yawns] You see, I’m boring even myself with it.
Yes, of course. Outside of work I play the harp, ride horses, dabble in watercolours — both as artist and model. I’ve also recently taken up archery, though I’m still very much a novice, so you needn’t worry. I’ll probably miss you if you’re more than a few feet away, especially if you were moving target. Give me a hundred years, and we’ll see if I’m not a dab hand.
Oh, yes, and I’m an elf, of course. The hundred years thing wasn’t an exaggeration. Surely you noticed the ears?
Ha! Hahaha, no, they’re not fake. That is becoming fashionable at the moment, though, isn’t it? Illusory elf ears — ridiculous. I assume they think it gives them an air of wisdom. Quite ridiculous. I would never deign to do something so silly, I’d be quite embarrassed. No, I was born with mine — though, of course, they weren’t quite so pointy when I was a baby.
I’d say “Enough about me,” but I feel as though you still aren’t going to tell me anything about yourself. Did you sneak your way in? Is that why you’re being so coy? It would explain why you’re distancing yourself from everybody else.
I’ll find out, will I? And when might that be? Once again, you surprise me. Usually people at these things are only too happy to talk about themselves. Not you, though. Well, would you at least tell me where you are from? Baldur’s Gate, is it? Or have you come from outside the city?
Oh, how delicious! It’s good to meet people from outside the city. A breath of fresh air! Where are you from? Have you come very far?
Waterdeep! My, my. I trust you’re part of the nobility there, then? I don’t know the crests, I’m afraid — my dealings with Waterdeep are unfortunately few and far between. I only ask because otherwise it seems unlikely you’d have been invited.
I see. Yes, that makes sense. And it’s your first time here? How exciting! How are you enjoying yourself so far? It is without a doubt the most disgusting city on the coast, isn’t it? Compared to Waterdeep, an absolute hovel, I’m sure.
Oh, do you really think so? Well, I’ll take that as a compliment. My role as a magistrate doesn’t give me much scope for improving the place, but I do what I can. But, gosh, I fear I’m at risk of boring myself again. It’s the atmosphere of this place. So awfully dreary. Every conversation going on around us is about politics or money and it’s all so gauche. I’m not opposed to either of those things myself, of course, but on a night like this I want to talk about nothing less. I wish we could… Oh, but we’ve only just met.
Ah, I was rather getting ahead of myself. I was going to say I wish we could go somewhere else, but I have to say I simply forgot that we’ve only been speaking for 10 minutes at best. It feels as thought it’s been a lot longer, wouldn’t you agree?
Yes. Mm. Well, seeing as it’s out there now, what do you say? Shall we find somewhere a little less, hmm, soul-destroying? Assuming you have a soul, that is.
Hahaha, no, just a little joke. I’m quite sure you do. You have the sparkle of someone with a soul — and a juicy one at that.
Mm, it was most certainly supposed to be a compliment. Who wouldn’t want to have a nice, juicy soul?
Ah, forgive me, it is perhaps a little… silly, as you put it. Perhaps this fireswill is getting to me. Very well!
[ASTARION downs the drink]
Shall we depart?
[fade through silence to ext. streets of Baldur’s Gate on a lively evening]
Ah, this is… Well, I was going to say “This is more like it,” but in honesty, not that much as changed. Baldur’s Gate is Baldur’s Gate. Still, at least we’re away from those buffoons. If I’d had to spend another minute in there, I think I’d have felt quite ill.
Oh, good question. Where are we going? I have no idea. I didn’t think about it, I just wanted to get out of there with you.
2024-01-25 12:15:54 +0000 UTC View Post
Another nobleman's party, where a night on the prowl for Astarion doesn't quite go to plan.
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early access! finally. i'm really happy with this one. the script really came together in the end, once i scrapped the first version completely and restarted it. also pleased with the performance, especially towards the end. let me know what you think.
exclusive NSFW conclusion soon!
love,
phas đź’–
He got more than he bargained for when you volunteered as a test subject.
---
early access! happy new year everybody! this has similar vibes to the "love potion" one from a while ago, so if you liked that, i think you'll probably like this.
love,
phas đź’–
edit 17/01/2024: okay, here you go! i've re-shot this video, so it's back up now. as a bonus, it somehow got 20 minutes longer, and it's now in 4k. enjoy đź’–
edit 02/01/2024: sorry folks, the issues with the video couldn't be fixed in post. i'll re-shoot it soon, avoiding those problems in the first place!
edit 28/12/2023: i've marked this video private while i fix a few things in it. sorry if you came back to listen to it again after christmas - it'll be back soon!
merry christmas, to those patrons who celebrate it! here's an experiment for you. i wanted to have a go at doing some more traditional, on-camera ASMR.
the audio is up to my usual quality standards, because i just recorded this on my phone. the studio microphone i record my roleplays with is mono, not stereo, and so it's not suitable for this sort of thing -- and i don't really have any way of recording stereo other than my phone at the moment. it's really not great, there's a lot of background noise and not all of it is nice soft white noise either. sorry about that.
if i ever do this sort of thing again, which i may do or i may not, i'm not sure, i'll get a better steroe recording setup first.
let me know what you think of this little experiment in the comments, and if you think i should try more of this sort of thing, or if you'd prefer me to stay in my lane!
love,
phas đź’–
He claims Christmas isn't his thing. You aren't so sure.
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early access!! i got the script for this done before i went away, but not the recording, so i brought my recording gear with me and recorded this at my sister's house. still got it done though!! it counts!!
a very fun patreon exclusive thing coming tomorrow.
love,
phas đź’–
MERRY CHRISTMAS. kind of!! i'm half way through writing another christmassy one with a grinchier kind of guy, and i'm REALLY REALLY HOPING i'll actually get to finish it before i go away for christmas on the 23rd. FINGERS CROSSED!!
2023-12-19 18:47:33 +0000 UTC View Post
In the version of this audio in the Patreon audio player, the listener character has a vagina. If you'd like them to have a penis, click here.
here, finally, is the NSFW conclusion to this audio. enjoy!!
love,
phas đź’–
You haven't seen each other for years and years, but never really got over each other. Now, well into adulthood, it finally comes out.
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early access!! been thinkin about this concept for a while. i actually... didn't like my execution of it quite as much as i was hoping to. here it is anyway, it's cute and everything, but i feel like there's something missing. i might re-write this and give it another try at some point in the future. not sure.
enjoy, anyway!! and look forward to the nsfw conclusion soon, of course
love,
phas đź’–
hello! i think it's been a while since i did an update like this, so here's such a thing. don't worry, i'm not actually burned out - i wanted to talk about some of the things i've done lately to avoid burnout, which i feared i was close to. and other stuff, too. adhd meds, demonetisation, the future, things like that.
it's mostly positive, but i did want to say sorry for my inconsistent upload pattern recently, and talk about what my plans are to fix that. i haven't missed many uploads completely, but there have been quite a few that have been late. i'm not impressed with myself there. sorry about that.
thanks for listening. sleep well.
love,
phas đź’–
He just wants you to feel really good.
In the version in the Patreon audio player above, the listener has a vagina. If you'd prefer for them to have a penis, click here.
here's the SPICY CONCLUSION to this audio. loads of super wet, sloppy noises in this one. sorry it took so long. please enjoy!!
love,
phas đź’–
He just wants you to feel good.
---
early access!! here is something comfy and loving for u. if you have been feeling stressed or anxious or burned out recently, i hope this helps in some way
(spicy conclusion coming tomorrow heh heh heh)
love,
phas đź’–
edit: i'm having some problems with my audio interface introducing loads of electrical interference, so recording the spicy conclusion for this has been delayed -- sorry folks, i'll get this sorted out as soon as i can!!
2023-11-11 21:07:55 +0000 UTC View Postwhoa, this is the longest one yet! enjoy x
love,
phas đź’–
It's not *really* love magic - but he doesn't know that.
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early access! here's another lovely magic-realism script written by Lia. on their love potion shit again. thank you!!
love,
phas đź’–
There isn't much room. You make do.
this is the spicy conclusion for this audio. i kept it relatively simple this time and focussed on the performance. there's a lot of ✨moaning✨, so i hope that's your thing.
love,
phas đź’–
Are you sure you forgot your tent by accident?
---
early access! sorry this one's so late, folks. finally getting over this cold, so i could record today! there will be an exclusive patreon conclusion for this tomorrow. thanks for your patience!! <3
love,
phas đź’–
here's more strahd for you. 2 more chapters, because they were also quite short. a sleep aid, maybe. not sure why i'm still doing this. ENJOY ANYWAY HEHEHEHEH x
love,
phas đź’–
It's summer's last hurrah, and he's feeling like it's time to finally say something.
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early access! here's a cute little thing for you. i love going on picnics, and it always feels like, at the end of the summer, you should have gone on more. maybe i should be like this guy and take a chance. enjoy.
love,
phas đź’–
His animalistic desire for you reaches its peak.
In the version in the Patreon audio player, the listener is referred to as "girl". If you'd prefer the listener to be called "boy", click here.
here's a NSFW conclusion to the final part of the werewolf series for you. enjoy x
love,
phas đź’–
You're on the last leg of your journey together to maybe find the cure of lycanthropy. He's not going to waste it.
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early access! here is the FINAL PART of this werewolf series. the spicy conclusion will be on patreon tomorrow x
love,
phas đź’–
edit: everybody, i've bitten off a bit more than i can chew with this one. the spicy conclusion will be up tomorrow (16th October), not today. sorry folks!
2023-10-14 18:15:38 +0000 UTC View PostThese 2 chapters are quite short, so I recorded them both at once. More content warnings for graphic descriptions of violence, gore and body horror.
love,
phas đź’–
You make him feel like no elf ever has.
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early access! in case you missed my tweet about it, this month i'm experimenting with dropping the mid-week release and only releasing on saturday/sunday - with the idea that those releases will be longer and higher quality.
this is a continuation of the elf storyline. enjoy!! x
love,
phas đź’–