endlessjess

eNOUgH iS EnOUGH! and itS tIME FoR A cHAnGE!

Gather round patrons, I’ve got some announcements for ya. I’m making some much-needed changes in an effort to achieve the fabled “work-life balance” the nice white coats in the nuthouse kee...

Lion King Part 3 - Remembering my pride.

You may have noticed an oh-so subtle character arc taking place in The Blue Glow, and that is an arc of me growing ever more disdainful toward my own bullshit. I gotta get out the glow and live my ...

HIdden Bunny: The True Survival Horror

I deserve 2 awards today. One for playing this fever dream to completion and another for being the only man on earth powerful enough to make it entertaining. I hope.

This dollar bin horror is...

My Big (Scary) Sister

Its almost october so here's a spoooky 1 dollar RPG from my heroes at Ratalaika games. Every time i see that dog logo i have a pavlovian response of excitement and whimsy, cause i know im in for so...

Biolab Wars

Ah yes, let me tell you about the biolab wars. Better yet let me rap it at you, because this game's bangin and boofin title screen music demands it. 

This masterpiece proves how easy it ...

Resident Evil 0: Howard The Fuck

It’s time for my yearly attempt at playing RE0. In this episode, 0 is the amount of progress made, and also the amount of fucks being given, by me, the master of the insanely stupid Resident Evil...

Twisted Metal Black Part 2 - Dollface fuckin dies or somethin.

I don’t know if Dollface is gonna get her wish this time, she’s too busy getting herself killed while trying and failing to shoot missiles at a secret box in the corner of the map to unlock tha...

Loud: My Road To Fame

This is a rhythm game, but really it’s a horror game. Just look at the title, this naïve youngster wants to be famous. Like a lamb hopping happily along to the fox’s den. She will soon learn t...

Fury Unleashed

I’m hot, I'm full of crap, and i got a million other problems too. I’m feeling the fury, and I'm about to unleash that fury on some pork rinds and then the toilet. Hee hee. Hoo hoo. Pee pee and...

Skelly Selest

Hey look it’s that game I like, Binding of Isaac Smash TV Hades Enter The Gungeon Crypt of The Necrodancer something something. They’re all the same game, but in this one I’m a skeleton. The ...

Fatal Labrynth

I’m still spelunking the depths of this Genesis collection. Some of these are classics but there’s more than a few that nobody’s ever heard of. I’m skeptical that some of these are even rea...

Rollerball: The gay sport of the future

In the future, there won’t be any more shitty hockey games. Instead we’ll have yearly iterations of this clusterfuck, where people do flips on roller-skates while shooting dual pistols at each ...

The most unpleasant game ever created.

This is Path To Mnemosyne. Don't waste your brainpower trying to figure out how to pronounce it, it doesn't deserve the attempt, it deserves only your contempt. From the moment you turn it on, the ...

Nintendo Partner Blowcase

Okay it’s Nintendo time! We’re gonna see some Nintendo Games, right? Real games? New games? Real new games, made by Nintendo? Surely it’s not a trick to make me watch a bunch of bullshit. Spo...

What the Hell is Indie World?

Oh boy it’s time for me to be grumpy at game trailers again! This might be the grumpiest one yet, until the next one. I was bamboozled this time. I thought i was gonna see some Nintendo games, bu...

Fight Forever Career Mode - Part 3

Things are going swell for me in the parallel universe where I work in AEW. I lost my baggage but found a friend, forming a spooky new tag team with the mysterious kick-man Malakei Black. We lose e...

NXT No Mercy

I haven't watched NXT regularly in at least 9 years. I don’t even know what this show is anymore. Who are these people? What the Hell is a Wendy Choo? Is that a pokemon? And why the fuck is there...

WWE Bash In Berlin

Rather appropriately for a show that took place in Germany, I don't have any jokes to write here. Just kidding, that was a joke. But it’s the only one.

Gunther might be the w...

AEW All In 2024

Hold on to your asses cause ALL ASS Wrestling is back in Wembley. It’s been a whole year since Jungle Boy got his ass pounded by Poopsy Phil backstage for dragging his ass in glass, making an ass...

WWE SummerSlam 2024

Hell yeah. It’s the biggest party of the summer. I deeply love SummerSlam. Always have. It might be my favorite of the yearly wrestling shows. How can I have a favorite when the card is different...

WWE Money In The Bank 2024

oOPs I’m a little behind on my wRESTLiNg reviews… time to catch up! Too much wrestling happens now, but its still not enough for me, and it never will be. Too much isn’t too much enough. That...

Alien Isolation

I don’t care how many accolades this game receives or how much praise it garners, I hate Hidey Games. That’s a term I invented just now for this particular genre. You know the kind,  games...

Grow Home

Something tells me that in my 10 minutes I've gotten everything out of this game that it has to offer me. Funny robot, nice environment, climbing, floating, falling, cool. This game reeks of 2010s ...

Damn Stinking Hockey Game

I don’t care for hockey. Just a bunch of guys in oversized shirts skating around and beating each other up. The skating is lame because everyone is fighting, and the fighting is lame because ever...

Halloween Forever and Ever

Oh crap, it's this again! I hoped I could get a little farther this time. This is technically part 2, but it’s the same first level and I die in the same place as the previous episode. The only t...

Grizzland

What the hell is Grizzland? Well, it appears to be a place you can go to get your Grizz on. In practical terms, a minimalist metroidvania with an atari aesthetic. The little guy sorta looks like th...

Resident Evil Revelations Part 3: Sno Dogs

It is time once again, for me to gleefully rave about my Great Diss-Dane for dogs. Thank God for the Resident Evil franchise constantly throwing dog-zombies at me, they know it’s one of my favori...

Styx: Gobbler of Dyx

OOGA BOOGA! I’m an ugly Goblin guy! Crawling out of the sewer to touch your butts and bite your balls off! Watch out, humans! I’m cumming to getcha! 

That’s Styx for ya. A...

Columns

Here's another nostalgic favorite of mine. I didn’t have a game boy, I had a Genesis, and Columns was my Tetris. No wait, I must have had a game boy. I remember Avenging Spi...

Vectorman

Vectorman is a defunct relic of the Sega Genesis era and so am I.

This game rules. It ruled then, it will always rule. The fact that it has the sloppiest, floatiest, fuckiest controls in the...