Bitter Karella posts

Midnight Pals: Sssspace Sssstory

JK Rowling: hello children
Poe: oh Joanne!
Poe: I'm
Poe: I
Poe: I really did not expect to see you again
Rowling: oh really edgar? and why wasss that?
Poe: because of that whole O...

2024-09-21 17:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: Barbarian Bros

Poe: [stripping to reveal his swimmer's physique] so while i'm telling this story, i'm just gonna swim a few laps here in the potomac
William Hope Hodgson: please feel free!
Hodgson: [muscles...

2024-09-19 22:09:05 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: Tough on Cosmic Horror

Laird Barron: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the story of eldritch forces beyond mortal ken
Lovecraft: oh this is my favorite kind of story!
Barron: of course...

2024-09-16 17:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: Dogs

Hildur Knutsdottir: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the night guest
Knutsdottir: its about a woman who gets a full night's sleep so you would think sh...

2024-09-13 23:08:15 +0000 UTC View Post

midnight Pals: elon is cool

Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this-
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyy stephano king
Musk: mi amico eyyyy!
King: we're not friends elon
M...

2024-09-12 18:10:00 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: What a deal

L Ron Hubbard: hey pal its me your old pal honest ron
Hubbard: and i've got a great deal for you today, friends
Hubbard: this handy dandy little AI can write all your books for you, friends...

2024-09-11 18:36:52 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: The black lord

Colin Hinckley: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the back lord
Hinckley: what if there was a monster in the woods behind your house
Hinckley: and ...

2024-09-10 18:47:53 +0000 UTC View Post

John Wiswell: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the asexual succubus
Wiswell: it's about a succubus who's different from the stereotypical succubus 2024-09-07 21:45:15 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: Deceptive Dog

Cody Schroeder: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the dog who looked friendly but actually wasn't
Dean Koontz: ha ha
Koontz: good one, you guys! 2024-09-06 17:11:48 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: Lies that Bind

Rae Knowles: we've got a real banger of a story for you tonight
April Yates: real banger
Knowles: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, we call this the tale of the disaster l...

2024-09-05 21:53:28 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: Birthday Shenanigans

Stephen King: boy, looks like that bungler elon musk really bungled it again!
King: another rocket exploded! boy!
Elon Musk: [appearing from ushes] eyyy Stephano king
Musk: you thinka you ...

2024-08-31 17:00:12 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: That Fool Olson

Robert E Howard: howdy pardnas, it's me Robert "2 Gun Bob" Howard
Lovecraft: 2 gun bob!
King: 2 Gun Bob!
Koontz: it's 2 Gun bob!
Poe: 2 gun bob!
Barker: how many guns was that? i for...

2024-08-29 17:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: 3 Men and a Dog

David Fincher: hi i'm david fincher
Fincher: i used to be big in hollywood until the curious case of benjamin button
Fincher: now i have to share an apartment with david cronenberg & da...

2024-08-26 21:52:56 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: She's back

JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: I'M BACK!
Rowling: [snapping fingers] and I'm on the prowl!
Rowling: revenge would tasste sso ssweet right now!
Julie Bindel, Helen Joyce, Alliso...

2024-08-24 18:50:32 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: Lumberjack

Anthony Engebretson: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the lumberjack
Stephen King: the lumberjack, eh?
King: does he sleep all night and work all ...

2024-08-23 18:25:46 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: No tweets

[at JK Rowling's Scottish castle]
JK Rowling: Ha ha! Look at me! I'm possting on the internet!
Rowling: "esstrogen turns normal men into rampaging ape beastss!"
agent: joanne! stop! 2024-08-21 19:57:04 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: The Thing

Stephen King: wow, john, i just heard that you're going to be in the The Thing Expanded documentary!
John Carpenter: [playing Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy on Playstation 2]
King: 2024-08-20 19:41:40 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: Delirious

David Niall Wilson: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the author who writes reality
Wilson: OR...?
Wilson: does reality write her????
Koontz: w...

2024-08-19 20:30:07 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: Sex guide

Graham Masterton: it may interest you to know
Masterton: that when i'm not writing horror
Masterton: i'm writing sex guides
Barker: oh yeah? how's that work? i thought you were british
...

2024-08-18 17:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: The Hell Candidate

Graham Masterton: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of what if satan ran for president
Masterton: think about it! if satan was president, he could do anyth...

2024-08-17 17:00:10 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: Yellow Hill

CS Humble: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the massacre at yellow hill
Humble: it's about a black vampire hunter
Barker: is it Blade?
Humble:...

2024-08-16 22:29:41 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: Legal Consequences

JK Rowling: hello children
Clive Barker: whoa jk rowling! you're alive!
Barker: oh thank god we were all really worried
Barker: since you hadn't tweeted in a week
Barker: unless there w...

2024-08-15 17:00:11 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: Consequences

[at JK Rowling's Scottish castle]
JK Rowling's agent: hey joanne it's me your agent
Agent: Lydia
Agent: i haven't appeared in a while so readers might not remember me
Agent: i am a midn...

2024-08-14 17:00:10 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: Moonflow

Bitter Karella: hello, fellow esteemed authors!
King: wow it's bitter karella!
Lovecraft: bitter karella!
Koontz: WOW bitter karella!
Poe: OMG it's THE bitter karella!
Barker: <...

2024-08-13 19:41:13 +0000 UTC View Post

Book Announcement: Moonflow!

Hey everyone, just wanted to share some VERY COOL news! Orbit US has just announced that my book, Moonflow, will be coming out in Fall of 2025! This is really exciting for me and I genuinely would ...

2024-08-10 19:45:55 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: Charts and Graphs

Clive Barker: hey guys you hear that Imane Khelif won the gold medal at the Paris Olympics
Poe: ah very cool
Barker: so where's joanne
Barker: is she here tonight
Barker: ha ha
...

2024-08-10 19:19:15 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: Skeletons

Bonnie Jo Stufflebeam: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the people coming to terms with life's melancholy pageant
Stufflebeam: but also
Stufflebea...

2024-08-06 18:40:48 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: Black Mold

JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i am very concerned
Barker: are you still on about the olympics
Rowling: NO
Rowling: well yess
Rowling: but more to the point
Rowling: pe...

2024-08-05 20:19:56 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: The Great Games

JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i'm VERY concerned about the olympicssss
Clive Barker: oh you found a new interest? that's nice
Stephen King: i didn't know you followed the olympics...

2024-08-02 15:56:48 +0000 UTC View Post

Midnight Pals: Long Legs

Oz Perkins: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the longlegs
Perkins: it's about an FBI agent tracking a serial killer
Thomas Harris: nice
Perkin...

2024-07-31 18:25:20 +0000 UTC View Post