Vendetta543

Roommates - Chapter 2 Teaser

Heading to the clinic in a bit for some testing. Hopefully nothing serious, but it still has me worried. I'm putting this up for now since finding the time and peace of mind to write has been difficult lately. I'm really sorry.

Anyway, this chapter shows we're getting into some plot and characterizaion. Jaune's segment will show how hard it is living in Vale when you're an outsider.

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Glynda was not in a good mood.

The deputy headmistress of Beacon Academy stomped down the hallway, heels clicking loud in the wide space. Every step reverberated with tension and her glare could've killed an Alpha Deathstalker. The few people who were outside immediately rushed inside and locked their doors behind them. While she never harmed anyone - both for practical and moral reasons - she was still a powerful Huntress who didn't take any lip. People knew to stay clear out of her way.

The same couldn't be said for some students, much to her eternal frustration.

Ozpin always had his favorites among the students. Glynda would know - she was one of them almost twenty years ago. The headmaster (just a professor back then, though he was always the one who held the power) needed protectors. Salem was gone, but new threats were always emerging. Cultivating talent was needed in case some other monstrosity from the first world tried to eradicate the second one. It was no different than the Atlas Specialist program, the Mistral Praetorians or the Vacuo Rangers. Trained and prioritized at a young age.

But it also meant favoritism. James believed in harsher standards for his hand-picked recruits like Winter. Ozpin subscribed to Vale's idealization of freedom and seemed to believe that encouraging it made for better Huntsmen. Glynda respectfully disagreed. A mindset like that was how you ended up with the Branwens. One a loyal drunk and the other turned into a mass murdering bandit before she was stopped and put into Tartarus for life.

Right now the latest one was causing trouble. Ruby Rose, daughter of her old friend Summer. And she'd clearly inherited her mother's heroic streak, which includes chasing after criminals despite the risk to civilians. It was a typical story. Heart in the right place, actions not so much. She seemed to think life was one big comic book where civilians were always saved at the last second and buildings were conveniently empty.

And of course there was her sister. Yang Xiao-Long. Half-sister, technically, though that hardly mattered. The type who seemed to think rebelling against the system made her some kind of icon. In some ways, Glynda could sympathize. Growing up with your birth mother abandoning you and spending the next two decades in Huntsmen supermax prison would affect anyone. It was little surprise she acted out.

Still, it in no way justified the chaos she got up to. The report from three days ago about a brawl in a nightclub sent a fresh wave of pulsing pain through her temples. Her only justification being 'that guy's totally a criminal asshole' was not impressive. The only reprieve was that the aggrieved party, one Hei 'Junior' Xiong, wasn't pressing charges, if only because it would be a blow to his reputation if people were to find out he and his whole gang were beaten down by someone who hadn't even taken Initiation yet.

If Glynda had her way, the younger blonde's antics would've caused her to be suspended from Beacon for the next year, but of course, it wasn't up to her. It was up to Ozpin, and he saw something in her and Ms. Rose that made them viable recruits. And so, they got slaps on the wrists.

The deputy headmistress let out a long-suffering sigh and grabbed for her keycard in her shirt pocket. All she wanted now was to change out of these clothes, get a good can of beer, munch on some snacks, and then curl up in her nice, warm bed. This place was her haven, her sanctuary, her little slice of heaven away from all the chaos of the outside world.

...Even if she did have to share it with someone again.

Update

Writing the next chapter for Roommates since people seemed to like it. Hopefully this one can also delve a bit more into Vale's daily life since I find worldbuilding interesting. I'll start with Jaune's new kitchen job to show what life's like for people who come to Vale for the guaranteed safety they can't get outside the walls.

The Second Chance Program

This one's more of a proof of concept/idea I had that got inspired by Dispatch. Jaune having to be the dispatcher/handler for a bunch of Huntresses who are in a rehab program. Not sure if this could go anywhere further but I wanted to write it down anyway.

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Jaune straightened up his posture and adjusted his tie for what felt like the dozenth time today. The elevator felt insanely slow under his feet and kept looking at his reflection in his scroll's camera. Professional. He had to look professional. This was his second chance. A way for him to accomplish his dream. Sure, it was years late, but it was something. Better than just wallowing at home in the family winery never accomplishing anything at 21.

The door slid open with a soft ding. Jaune plastered on the friendliest smile he could and walked inside. Everyone was busy enough that they were ignoring him. He didn't hold it against them. This was the Huntsmen Dispatch unit. They coordinated Huntsmen all across Vale and Saunus. While a lot of Huntsmen chose to go independent - full wandering hero lifestyle only accepting contracts from the board - others preferred a bit more stability.

That was where this place came in. The HD unit made sure Huntresses went where they needed to be. Cause not everything was about fighting Grimm. Someone good at fighting a horde might not have been the best choice for disaster relief or taking down criminals. They had to decide which Huntress was best for the task. It was like those FBI analysts he watched all the time when he was younger. A lot of staring at screens and clicking on keyboards.

Was it glamorous? No. Was it necessary? Absolutely. He wasn't gonna pretend that he didn't want to be out there fighting Grimm by himself of instead of mannking a desk, but maybe that was his shot at getting there.

He was just about to ask for directions when a voice greeted, "Hello there!" The woman who called out was the very picture of a Huntress. Tall with vibrant red hair in a ponytail and striking green eyes. Her outfit screamed professional Grimm slayer. Bronze armor with a shield and javelin slung across her back. The outfit didn't do anything to hide her chiseled physique. Definitely someone who'd earned her bones fighting Grimm.

"Hi!" Jaune smiled and offered her a hand, which she shook happily, "Jaune Arc. You're Ms. Nikos, right?"

"Yes, but please call me Pyrrha. We'll be co-workers from now on." She nudged her head, "Come on, I'll introduce you to Weiss and then we can get started."

"Lead the way."

The office was a practice in organized chaos. All around them, Huntsmen and plain clothes workers chatted or agued while others manned the desk with robotic efficiency. One Huntsman was arguing about the game last night while sharing drinks in the water cooler while another mixed group were sharing Dispatch stories. He only caught the tail end of the conversation, but apparently it was about a new dispatcher sending a Huntress with electricity abilities to a coastal town. Bad idea.

"We're here." Pyrrha knocked on the door, "Weiss? I have Jaune with me."

"Come in."

Jaune followed his new coworker inside after a slightly nervous gulp. The woman at the end of the big desk just screamed ice queen. Snow white hair, pale skin, and eyes that seemed to look straight through him. The thin scar over her left eye added to the intimidation. Pretty but with an edge. The crisp white business suit felt way more intimidating than the dress shirt and slacks he and the rest of the employees wore. She looked even scarier than the Huntresses.

She definitely wasn't just some businesswoman though. He saw the elegant, customized rapier sheathed at the side of the desk with a personalized scabbard.

"So, you're the fraud," she said.

Jaune winced. Well, that was blunt, but he couldn't deny it. He'd tried to get into Beacon four years back with fake transcripts. He goes as far as making it to the courtyard before Deputy Headmistress Goodwitch literally held him upside down with her Semblance and read him the riot act. He wouldn't get arrested, but he wouldn't be allowed to enter any Huntsman Academy in Remnant. So he slinked back home with his head hung long.

That was 4 years ago now. He just worked the family winery and figured that he'd never get to accomplish his dream. At best, maybe he could man the walls with the militia. It wasn't a glorious life, but it was something. He told himself he was satisfied with it even though it was a total lie.

And then he got that call two months back. An offer to be part of the Huntress Dispatch unit on a special assignment. Half of him wanted to refuse. Watching Huntsmen wasn't the same as being Huntsmen, after all. And then they brought up his records. He was still banned from getting Huntsmen training. But if he succeeded in the job offer then they'd give him a second chance. He'd be older than other students, but it was still a chance. He took it with both hands.

"Uh, yes ma'am."

"Fine then. My name is Weiss Schnee. You'll call me Ms. Schnee or ma'am for the whole time you're working here. Please note that any attempt at trying to be unprofesional will have consequences. Are we clear?"

"Understood..."

"Weiss, please don't be rude." Pyrrha sighed.

"I'm being honest." She scoffed, "Well, Jaune Arc, I hope you'll last longer than the last person in your position."

"I think David did really well, actually," Pyrrha said.

"Pyrrha, he quit after three days."

"To be fair, Cinder did burn down his car..."

"I'm sorry, what?" Jaune cut in.

"You did read the information packet you were sent, correct?" At Jaune's reluctant nod, she continued, "You'll be working with Huntresses from the SC - Second Chance - Program. These are not the usual Huntsmen. They will be...test cases, you could say. Huntresses who've been acting out and this program is the last chance they have of making something of themselves. Succeed, and they can consider themselves redeemed and can gain proper Huntsmen licsenses."

"Yeah, no, I got that. I'm more curious about the 'setting the car on fire' bit?"

"Some of our participants can be...chaotic." She looked like she had to force the words out to be nicer, "Don't get me wrong, many of them do have the best of intentions, but intentions don't matter as much as results. And yes, this means they occasionally act out." Arson was 'acting out'? "However, their skillsets are valuable. When they succeed, they can perform very well. That's the entire reason they've been allowed to continue this far."

"Have they...killed anyone?"

"Not while in this program." Well, that wasn't reassuring in the least, "The worst was the car arson stunt, and we've made it clear to Cinder that repeating that is a one way ticket to Tartarus supermax, so you have nothing to worry about."

"I'm not so sure about that..."

"It'll be fine, Jaune." Pyrrha squeezed his right shoulder, "Like Weiss said, they're good people...mostly."

"Mostly?"

"Look." Ms. Schnee sighed and tapped the table. The sound was soft but felt deafening in the room, "You were suggested because you were 'unorthodox'. Someone who deliberately faked their way into a Huntsman Academy without training or Aura." Jaune winced again. Ugh, he was never gonna live that down, "You're not the most professional or the most qualified, but you do have motivation. You want to get a Huntsman license someday. No academy will ever accept you with your record, but the Schnee name opens many doors. Including ones closed by past mistakes."

"I got it." The words came out firmer than before. He'd do anything for a second chance.

"He can do this, Weiss," Pyrrha said.

"If you say so, Pyrrha. I still have my doubts." She picked up a tablet from her desk and tapped the screen, "The program participants are already heading out into the field, so there's no time for a proper orientation. You'll have to make do with a crash course. Their personell files, strengts, and weaknesses are here."

"Okay..." He took the tablet from her and looked at the eight photos.

The first one was of a beaming young woman with black-red hair, silver eyes shining as she grinned at the camera. File said she had a mix of a scythe and a .50 caliber sniper rifle. He was always tempted to say she was compensating for something. Her Semblance was all about speed.

"That's Ruby," Pyrrha said, leaning over his shoulder, "She's a sweetheart. Always tries to see the best in people and help others. She became a Huntress because she wanted to save as many people as possible."

"She's also a chronic rule breaker," Ms. Schnee said, "Four years at Beacon and she commited what must've been dozens of acts of vigilantism. Headmaster Ozpin tried to shield her, but even he couldn't hide how painfully obvious she was. So now she's in the Program. If she can show that she can follow orders and work within the rules, she can receive her license."

The next one was a stunning blonde looking at the camera with a cocky grin. Shotgun fists and a Semblance that let her hit harder the more damage she took. Perfect brawler build.

"That's Yang. She's, well..."

"She's a hothead," Ms. Schnee said, cutting Pyrrha off, "During her entire time at Beacon, she snuck out after hours, got into fights, and caused property damage the school had to pay for. Half the clubs in Vale have banned her permanently, and the other half are too scared to even try. She sees herself as some rebellious icon, but that's not what a good Huntress makes. This program is the last chance she has to shape up and get her license."

The third one was differnt. A cat Faunus with long dark hair and amber eyes. Unlike the last two, her face was expressionless. Apparently she had a 'variant ballistic chain scythe'. Semblance was making shadow clones and she had a particularly skill for stealth.

"Blake." This time, it was Ms. Schnee who spoke first, "Former White Fang member. Her background was found out only after she spent years at Beacon. As you can imagine, the council wasn't exactly happy that someone of her background hid her past to train among future Huntsmen. Headmaster Ozpin successfully negotiated a plea deal. If she gave away information and entered the program, she could get a license. As you can imagine, she's on thin ice."

White Fang? Weren't they terrorists? But then again, if she was that dangerous, they wouldn't have let her joined the program...right?

The next picture was of an oranged hared woman with maple syrup on her cheeks and an expression that screamed 'I regret nothing'. A warhammer and rocket launcher plus a Semblance that boosted her when she was hit with electricity. Perfect if they ever needed to fight in a power plant.

"That's Nora, an old friend," Pyrrha's voice was warm and she smiled fondly at the picture, "She's here because...because of..."

Jaune's brows furrowed and he looked at Ms. Schnee, expecting her to fill in the gaps. Instead, she pointedly started looking at her manicured hands, "Uh...what'd she do? Even her file doesn't say it." The others had a list - the same things Pyrrha and Ms. Schnee said. With Nora, all it said was one word: "Nora."

"Ahem, moving on!" Pyrrha clicked the next photo. She looked somewhat similar to Blake; dark hair and amber eyes. But while Blake's expression was calm and expressionless, the woman in the photo smiled dangerously. Cinder Fall. Jaune pursed his lips. Oh great, the car arsonist. It said she was skilled with dual blades, bow and arrow, and and even martial arts. Her Semblance allowed her to turn anything she could see into superheated projectiles. That explained the burning car, at least...

"Cinder. She's...troubled." Even Pyrrha sounded strained.

"She's a pyromaniac and a menace," Ms. Schnee said bluntly, "Why they insisted she be allowed in the program, I have no idea, but she's here now. Credit where it's due, she's probably the most skilled fighter among everyone in the group. Whether that makes up for her numerous flaws remains to be seen." She rubbed her temples. Jaune looked down at her list of crimes. Arson, assault, breaking and entering...it was a whole laundry list. It almost looked like a resume.

"She's had a...difficult life," Pyrrha said, trying desperately to be diplomatic.

"Many of us have, Pyrrha. It doesn't justify half the things she does." Ms. Schnee shook her head, "Speaking, the next one on the list."

The next woman was obviously a foreigner. Dark skin with mint-green hair. Emerald Sustrai. Weapons were a pair of revolver-sickles and her Semblance was making illusions. Okay, wow, that sounded really versatile. Not just for combat.

"Emerald." Pyrrha's voice returned to its more pleasant tone, "She actually turned herself in. She's been making a 'living' being a thief. Her illussionary Semblance meant that she never had to worry about being caught or having to be violent. If she passes through the program, then she can receive a proper license."

"I think she's hiding something, but the program is made with the intention of giving certain Huntresses a second chance. At least she's not setting fires to buildings like Cinder," Ms. Schee said.

The last one was a grinning woman with pink and brown hair and similarly colored eyes. Her smile was all-teeth and didn't have a shred of warmth. Neopolitan. Weapon was a bladed parasol (surisingly without a gun attachment) and her Semblance was illusions too. Different than Emerald's. More for creating constructs for misdirection.

But it was her list of crimes that really drew the eye. It was bigger than even Cinder's. Stealing priceless artifacts, fighting Huntsmnen, stealing General Ironwood's personal flagship. He would've thought that last one would mark her for the deepest, darkest hole in the Solitas tundra.

"Neo's different from the others," Ms. Schnee said, "Think of her more as a permanent resident. In exchange for information that no one else could give, plus her particular brand of skills, she's given freedom of a sort. Oh, and she's mute as well. For the sake of convenience, she'll be using pre-recorded messages when responding."

"No offense, Ms. Schnee, but why wouldn't you assume she's planning to escape?"

"Because we have something - or rather, someone - she'd never leave behind." She steepled her hands together, "Neo isn't a lone wolf. Her partner, Roman, was captured alongside her and she knows that if she pushes too far then she's never going to see him again. That keeps her compliant, moreso than even Cinder. She'll follow orders if it means being able to see her precious partner in video calls. Though she may try to prank you at times. There'll be no permanent damage."

"And temporary damage?"

"Moving on," she said, completely ignoring him, "As I mentioned before, the Huntresses are already out in Vale. Your job is to deal with situations and send the appropriate Huntress for the job. That means not sending Yang to break up a bar brawl. She'll just drag every other customer into it. And do NOT, for the love of the Brothers, send Blake against any suspected White Fang sightings. She's been...obsessed every since they tried to bomb Vale a few years back."

"Got it..." He paused, "Wait, Vale? Don't Huntresses hunt Grimm?"

"Not these ones. First they need to show that they can be trusted before being sent out into the field where entire settlements could be depending on them. For now they'll be helping the community, solving crimes, and maybe dealing with lost cats stuck in trees. Once they've proven they can handle that, they can do more serious Huntress work." It seemed like a waste, but he couldn't disagree considering the group. He nodded, "Then you know what you have to do." She took the tablet back, "Pyrrha, please show him to his station."

"Right. Please follow me, Jaune." Pyrrha led him outside and closed the door behind her before speaking again, "I hope you don't think too badly of Weiss. She's stern, but she means well. She legitimately does want the program to succeed."

"Why?"

"Two reasons, actually." They started walking again, "First, her father sent her here as a sort of test. Rehabilitating less cooperative Huntresses is very good PR. There's a reason people here joke that SC stands for Schnee Company instead of Second Chance."

"And the second reason?"

"That one's more important. Weiss wants the program to succeed for her friends' sake. Ruby, Yang, and Blake used to ber her team back at Beacon. I know she puts on a professional front, but she does feel guilty knowing she got her license while the rest of her friends didn't. She's just been burned because all the previous dispatchers have quit and she was starting to lose hope. If the program shuts down then that's it. They either lose their chances at a license or, in the case of Cinder and Neo, go to prison."

"I won't let you down."

"I know you won't." Pyrrha's smile was so sure that he almost felt guilty, "Well, here's your station. Good luck."

Jaune said his goodbyes and sat down on the wheeled chair. The cubicle was pretty small but the computer was state of the art. Ms. Schnee spared no expense. He turned on the screen and put on the headphones. The eight of them were already all around Vale, "Hey everyone, this is Jaune Arc, your new dispatcher. Let's get started.

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Three days later and Jaune's sanity was on its last legs.

The blonde took a gulp from his fifth coffee of the day and looked at the screen again. The job seemed simple enough. He'd get pings and alerts to crimes in progress and directed the proper Huntress for a job. Thieves stealing art? Blake could sneak up and take them down quietly. Needed to stop someone from making a scene? Send Ruby and she'd use those big eyes to make them feel guilty. Criminal base in a warehouse without any civilians? Cinder or Yang to capture them all.

The problem was he felt like a circus ringleader.

"Bar brawl on fifth street."

"I can-"

"No, Yang," Jaune said, cutting the bruiser off, "You're still banned from the place. Emerald, go talk to them and try to minimize the damage."

"Got it." Emerald was the one bastion of sanity in this place. She wanted to keep her head down and earn her license and pardon. If only they were all like that.

"Just got a ping about a museum heist in progress. Looks like they're stealing Ozpin's cane."

"Oooh, ooh, I can go! Kicking bad guy butt's what I do best!"

He almost felt guilty saying no to Ruby. She was enthusiastic, and that caused issues. Her property damage wasn't as bad as Yang's, but it was still up there, "No. Neo knows the layout of that place better than anyone. Neo, go stop them. And for Brothers' sake, don't steal anything. I'll know."

"As you command," the synthesized voice chirped back. It somehow managed to sound sarcastic.

Jaune rubbed his temples. Even if the picked the right Huntress for the job, it was still a crapshoot on whether they'd succeed or not. Like the time he sent Yang to give some juvenile delinquents a pep-talk to turn their life around. Her profile said she was a big sister and good with kids, so he figured it made sense. Then she started talking to them about being 'real rebels' and now they were tagging Yang's emblem everywhere. The parents were furious.

Or the time he sent Ruby and Nora to deal with some criminals who stole a boat. He figured their speed and strength would make it simple. It somehow ended in a giant jetski chase that was all over the morning news. Nora was paragliding!

Ironically, Cinder ended up not being a problem in something he thought would be a disaster. He got a call about a cat stuck in a tree and everyone else was busy so he had to send her. He thought for sure it'd end with the tree burning down, but she got the cat back and escorted the kid back home. Half of him was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like maybe she took note of the address so she'd have something new to burn.

A new call hit his screen and he winced. Suspected White Fang spotted at the docks, "Got a situation at the docks. Cinder, Nora, you two-"

"The Docks? Is it White Fang?" Blake cut in with that tone of voice he'd learned to dread.

"No, just some regular criminals. Not terrorists."

"Then you won't mind if I come along. Just in case."

"Uh, no can do! You're gonna be busy..." He looked at the dispatch list, "Ooh, a donut shop's being robbed. Bob's Donuts are a community staple, Blake. Super important. Trust me, Cinder and Nora can handle it no problem."

"But-"

"Stop holding things up, Belladonna," Cinder cut in. Jaune didn't know whether he was thankful or annoyed, "Send us the coordinates, Arc. We'll make this quick."

"Remember to take them alive if you can."

"Broken legs still count as alive!" Nora said loudly.

"Try to minimize damage!" he amended. He learned not too far in that some of these women were literal genies. 

Cinder and Nora zoomed to the docks on his screen while Blake went the opposite way to the donut shop, grumbling all the while. Jaune let out a sigh and looked for something to assign Ruby to. A bored Ruby was a a dangerous Ruby who went off looking for crimes to fight.

Just two years, he told himself. Two years and he'd get his chance at training. Then he'd be the one on the field instead of behind a desk. He could do this. And maybe he could even ask Pyrrha out to dinner later. She was nice.

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Like I said, not sure if this will get another chapter. Depends on if it gets interest. This is more of a fantastical office comedy with Jaune dealing with superpowered Huntresses he has to keep from causing chaos. 

Roommates (ArcWitch) - Chapter 1

Commission for someone. A Jaune x Glynda romance where Glynda is an absolute girlfailure outside of her job and Jaune becomes her house husband.

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Jaune's heroic story wasn't off to a good start.

When he got those fake transcripts, he was over the moon. He honestly thought that it wouldn't work. Beacon was a Huntsmen Academy, for Brothers' sake. He figured that if anyone would spot fake transcripts, it'd be them. But no, they just accepted it. Well, he wasn't gonna look a gift horse in the mouth. This was his chance to become the Huntsman he always wanted. So with a head full of hopes and dreams, he packed up his stuff and left for Vale...without telling his parents.

They would've tried to stop him! Mom didn't play favorites, but being the only son meant he was still treated differently compared to his sisters. And Dad? He wanted all his kids safe. None of that Huntsmen stuff. Too dangerous, he always said. Better to just stay at home and pick up a trade. Work in the winery, maybe learn blacksmithing or farming. Or if they really insisted on danger, working with the militia to man the walls taking potshots at stray beowolves while real Huntsmen did all the fighting.

Jaune didn't want to live life like that. He wanted to be a hero like his grandpa and great-grandpa. War heroes and Huntsmen both. Besides, he was twenty years old now. Too old to be staying at home in the family estate. He needed to spread his wings! And Vale was just the right place for it. The big city connected to Beacon academy. The place where people went to accomplish their dreams. The rest of the guys his age in the tavern talked a lot about going over there once they saved up enough money. After a hard day of work, they'd spend it all on the tavern on cheap ale while fantasizing about making it big or getting a Huntress girlfriend.

Now he was gonna accomplish that goal.

He'd already paid the transport to take him to Vale. From there, he could rent a motel until the initiation started the next week. Sure, he didn't have proper training from a combat school, but he'd done his forms in the backyard whenever he could and he knew how to lift 'cause of working around the winery. Plus, Beacon was an academy, right? They must've taught people. He could learn on the go. Fake it till you make it, like Pearl always said.

He was practically bouncing in his seat the whole way to Vale. The sword - Crocea Mors - draped across his lap felt almost weightless as he imagined it all. Fighting Grimm, working with a team, maybe even getting a girlfriend at Beacon. He'd spend the next 20 years exploring Remnant, having adventurers and saving settlements from the Grimm. Maybe he'd even be the one called to Domremy It'd be so awesome.

And then it all came crashing down when he got that call.

Jaune had barely gotten off the ship when his (new) scroll rang. At first he thought that his parents somehow knew his new number. Instead, it was an unknown one, "Uh...hello?"

"Good morning. This is Jaune Arc, correct?"

"Yeah. Sorry, who is this?"

"I'm Professor Peach at Beacon." Jaune's heart started thumping. This didn't sound good, "We've been reviewing our enrolled students and it appears we've actually run out of slots."

"Which means...?"

"Which means that you will not be able to attend Beacon this year." Jaune nearly dropped the phone. Was she serious? Please tell him she was just playing a prank, "I'm truly sorry for the inconvenience, but there's been an influx of students recently. We had to choose based on certain factors." Meaning not him. He was careful with his transcripts. Too good and it'd be suspicious, too bad and he would've been completely glossed over. So he found out that was perfectly average. Slightly below average, actually, so they wouldn't question why he struggled at first.

"What does this mean for me?"

"Beacon's slots are already filled, but if you want, we can forward your transcripts to the other academies. They should still have-"

"No!" Jaune shouted. A few people turned to look at him. He winced and continued in a softer voice, "I mean, no thank you. I'm dead-set on Beacon." Because they somehow fell for his fake transcripts. He didn't want to take a chance on Haven, Shade, or Atlas Academy falling for it too, "I just...is there really no way to get in this year?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Arc, but we're already at capacity." To her credit, she did sound legitimately apologetic, "I can ensure that you and any other students that are set on Beacon receive priority enrollment next year, if you want."

"Yes! Please do that!" He said it before he could really think better of it. He'd just ran away from home, left a letter and everything. Was he supposed to just go back and tell his parents that he was postponing running away till next year? Not a chance. He'd come this far. He wasn't gonna go back until he became a full-fledged Huntsman, "Just...please keep me up to date if anything changes and I can enroll sooner. Thank you."

"I'll do that. My apologies again, Mr. Arc. Goodbye."

The call ended. Just stared blankly down at his scroll then at his stroller case. He had enough money for a couple of weeks at a motel. He figured that was all he needed, really. His clothes, his armor, and his weapon. Now he had to stretch two weeks worth of lien and clothes to a whole year. He needed to find somewhere to live, a place to wash his clothes, buy food...Brothers, this was gonna be a nightmare. Either that or he camped outside the walls over the next 12 months like some hardcore survivalist. He knew how to camp.

Jaune shook his head. That was dumb. No, he'd just find an apartment. There were cheaper places in Vale even with property costs being what they were. Space inside the walls were at a premium and he could take living in a shabby place for a year if it meant getting into Beacon.

He could do this.

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Three days passed with Jaune staying at the cheapest place he could find - a capsule hotel straight out of Mistral - while searching for jobs and somewhere to live. He didn't have any papers with him, which was pretty common for people coming in from outside the walls. But being common didn't mean it would make it any easier to find a job without any records. People with papers were basically a tier above anyone who wasn't inside kingdoms. '

In the end, he managed to get an interview for a job working as an assistant in a Mistralian restaurant. It wasn't the most glamorous job, but he knew his way around the kitchen and the place didn't ask questions as long as he didn't steal from the till. The salary was just below minimum wage, which sucked, but what could he do? He reminded himself that it was only for a year before he'd go to Beacon. They'd have dorm rooms, fancy chefs, and washing machines you didn't need to pay for.

The places were harder. There were some cheap places on the "bad side" of town, but they were too far from his (pending) new job and they kinda screamed "will wake up with your kidneys missing". Or worse - his sword. More slumlords than landlords.

And then he found something interesting. An apartment in the central district of Vale. Normally it would've been way out of his price tag, but there was a special offer going. Half-price if he agreed to share it with a roommate. That was suspicious, but at least he was less likely to get jumped at a respectable place with security cameras everywhere. It was the best option he had.

So he left the capsule hotel and made his way there. Even after three days here, he still felt like a stranger in Vale. His shabby clothes were out of place and the sword attached to his luggage looked lame compared to some of other weapons he'd seen around. He saw seomeone walking around with a giant scythe, for pete's sake. Crocea Mors felt like a toothpick by comparison. He shook his head. It wasn't the weapon, it was the man. That was what his grandpa always said when he was younger.

The apartment complex looked sleek and corporate, blending in with the rest of the buildings in central Vale. Jaune tightened his grip on his luggage and dragged it along to the automatic entrance. He'd already sent a message before that he was interested in meeting and the landlord seemed eager to meet.

Almost too eager...

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door, "Excuse me, Mr. Stone? It's Jaune Arc. I'm here about the apartment."

There was a rush of footsteps before the door was practically pulled off its hinges. The man on the other side looked rough. Disheveled clothes, messy hair, and bags under his eyes. The way his fingers twitched, Jaune was guessing he was on a caffeine high, "Nice to meet you, Mr. Arc! Very nice to meet you!" He shook his hand and practically dragged him inside the office. The neatness of the room was a start contrast to its owner.

"Nice to meet you too." Jaune forced a smile and sat down on the chair while Mr. Stone did the same across from him, "Are...you okay?"

"Hm? Yes, yes. Just dealing with some things right now." He picked up a mug of coffee and drank it down in one gulp. That probably wasn't healthy, "I'm sorry, I've just been dealing with some things. Please don't mind me."

"Right. The room?" Jaune asked, trying to change the subject.

"Yes, of course, the room." He opened an envelope and slid a contract across the desk. Jaune made sure to read over every single line. Mom and Dad made sure he knew how to look at the fine print. Dealing in wines meant people tried to rip them off or get more than they paid for. He scanned through it at least three times to make sure there weren't any double meanings or hidden clauses. Mr. Stone just waited patiently without a word.

The terms were...generous. Half the rent, and he only had to start paying next month. It would give him time to get all the money he needed even if the job interview fell through. Besides that, there wasn't much anything they demanded. No favors, no midnight checks, nothing.

The only thing that caught his eye was the roommate clause. The rules stipulated that they had to keep arguments down and that they DO NOT involve the landlord or any neighbors in any fights. Seemed reasonable enough, but the emphasis made him question it, "You seem...worried about the tenant." Jaune set the contract down.

"Well, Tenant 3-B is an...acquired taste." He refilled the cup and drank it down in one gulp, "You see, she's been living with someone for the past couple of years. Shared tenants aren't forbidden here. But it appears her roommate has, well, I believe 'snapped' is the right word." Jaune blinked. What, "So you see, half the rent isn't being paid and Tenant 3-B refuses to leave. She claims she finds it comfortable and that moving would be a hassle."

"And you can't kick her out because...?"

"Because he's terrifying, Mr. Arc," he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"So...is she dangerous?" Because the slumlord was looking real tempting right now.

"Oh no, no. She wouldn't just assault people. But she has a glare that could freeze the Vacuo desert." He forced a laugh. Jaune didn't laugh with him, "And also, she has some...er, habits that might be off-putting to some. Nothing that would put you in harm's way, but as I said, she's an acquired taste."

"Uh, maybe I should-"

"Sign this contract now and you can move in today, no questions asked." Jaune blinked. The offer was deathly calm, "I'm serious, Mr. Arc. You can sleep under this roof tonight if you just sign. You've read the contract, you see that it's fair. What do you say?"

...

He signed.

Minutes later, Jaune was stepping off the elevator unsure if he felt relieved or like he was walking to his own execution. The fact that the landlord didn't come with him was the biggest red flag. Just handed him the keycard, told him the room number, then said he expected the first deposit this time next month. He didn't even ask for papers, which was another mixed blessing. Places like these were reserved for citizens or those with enough money for papers to not matter.

He reminded himself that he had experience. He'd survived twenty years in the Arc household with all the chaos his family had. If he could survive that, he could survive this.

The door to apartment 3-B felt way more imposing than it should've been. Jaune gulped, the card sticking to his clammy left palm. Probably a bad idea to walk in there without any warning. Instead, he rang the doorbell and waited for the voice to come at the end of the speaker, "Who is it?"

"Jaune Arc. Uh, I'm your new roommate. Just signed the lease and everything." No response. Jaune shifted from one leg to the other, "Are you there?"

"Yes, I'm here." She sounded irritated. Not good, "I would've preferred if our landlord gave me a warning, but it doesn't matter. Hold on, I'll get the door." Jaune straightened himself up and tried to look as professional as possible in his baggy hoodie and ratty jeans.

All thoughts of professionalism went out the window as soon as the door swung open.

The woman that greeted him was...well, he wasn't gonna sugarcoat it: she was hot as hell. Pale, flawless skin with light blonde hair that fell in soft currls behind her neck and back. Piercing green eyes that looked at him warily. Not unfriendly, but not welcoming either. He was suddenly reminded of how the landlord called her "scary".

But more than her looks, it was her outfit that drew the eyes. A purple tanktop that left little to the imagination. The thing looked one size too small and cloth practically clung to her chest. The way she was leaning against the doorway only emphasized them. Below that was a pair of black shorts that looked more like small boxers. The fabric clung just as tightly as her top did to her long, shapely legs and it took everything he had to not stare. He was raised to be a gentleman, after all.

Completing the look was a can of beer she held loosely in her right hand, the alcohol sloshing around as she lightly shook the can. He couldn't tell how old she was. Older than him, definitely, but nothing besides that. She didn't have any wrinkles and she looked like someone in her mid to late twenties, but the severe expression told him thta she was older than that.

"So, you're my new roommate."

"Y-Yes ma'am! Jaune Arc, pleasure to meet you." He offered her a hand.

She looked down for a second before shaking it, "Glynda Goodwitch. You can call me Glynda or Goodwitch or ma'am. Doesn't really matter." She took a sip of the beer. Jaune watched as her throat bulged slightly, "Come in then. I'll give you the tour."

Glynda turned and walked away. Jaune did not stare at her butt and just followed her inside, focusing instead on the room. The place looked nice. Bigger than he expected, but that made sense since this was Central Vale. Lower Vale apartments were basically closets. This place was decently large. A living room, dining room, and two closed doors that he assumed were the bedrooms. It was practically a steal considering all he had to do was share it with a...very attractive roommate.

"That's your room." She pointed to the door on the left. The one on the right was slightly ajar, "House rules first. Your stuff is your stuff, and my stuff is my stuff. If anything in the fridge has my name on it, do not touch it. Anything else you can help yourself, but I'm expecting the same courtesy. You don't want me to touch something in the fridge of pantry, label it. There's only one bathroom. I'll be using it from 7 to 7:30 whenever I'm here. That's non-negotiable. If you wanna take a shower, you're doing it before or after that."

"Got it." Jaune nodded, "What do you mean 'whenever I'm here'?"

"I work at a busy job. Sometimes, I sleep there instead of here. Rules still apply. Stay out of my room and don't touch my stuff or my food. I'll know."

"Sounds...reasonable enough." Was this really the woman that caused her roommate to snap?

"Of course it is. Some people just can't follow rules." She scoffed and tossed the empty can away in the corner. It was only then that Jaune noticed the stuff on the floor. Empty beer cans, discarded clothes, and haphazardly thrown shoes. A deeper look at the kitchen showed that the sink was piled up with dirty dishes and stained glasses that looked like they'd been there a while. Glynda noticed where he was looking and rolled her eyes, "I've been busy with work. Didn't leave much time to clean up." An edge of defensiveness seeped into her voice.

"It's no problem." Jaune smiled. Okay, so she was a bit of a slob. Whatever, he could work with that. He'd dealt with similar for years, "Just to clarify, that doesn't count as 'your stuff', right?"

"You live in the apartment too, Mr. Arc. Yes, you can use the plates." She rolled her eyes again, "I'm actually heading to work soon. Something happened and apparently my colleagues are incapable of cleaning up after themselves." He didn't say anything about how ironic it was for her to say that, "Make yourself at home. I should be back by the evening assuming nothing catastrophic's happened. My emergency scroll number's on the fridge. Call me only if something horrible happens."

"Right. Good luck at work."

He dragged his luggage over to the room. The inside was sparse. A bed, a bedside cabinet, and a dresser. Whoever Glynda's last roommate was, they took everything. He sat down on the bed and sighed, looking up at the ceiling. This was good, he told himself. He had a place now, and a month of breathing room. Tomorrow, he'd go to that interview for the kitchen job - and if that failed, he had a few more lined up. He had a year to try and make this work.

Jaune's eyes fluttered shut and he suddenly felt all three days of exhaustion bearing down on him. He spent most of the time in that capsule hotel finding places and jobs he could apply for. He'd barely even slept. He closed his eyes and just let it all wash over him. The job interview was a tomorrow problem. Today? He'd gotten a break.

---------------------------------------------

By the time he woke up again, the sun was setting. Jaune yawned and checked his scroll. A little past 5 PM. Glynda would be back in a few hours. Rubbing his eyes, he stood up and walked outside. She wasn't there, of course. He debated between decorating the room or cooking some food before quickly deciding on the latter. Maybe Glynda would appreciate a cooked meal. It would make a good impression too. Show that he wasn't a mooch.

The first problem came when he opened the fridge and saw what was inside. Half-eaten takeout, packs of beer, ice cream, and microwave dinners. Nothing else. The beer and ice cream had Glynda's name hastily labeled on the containers. Jaune looked up and down but failed to find anything. He kept far away from the beer - house rules, he reminded himself - and looked at the takeout lids. Noodles, chicken, little eggs. Could he make something with this?

The pantry wasn't any better. He expected at least something he could cook like canned food or maybe some spaghetti. Instead, it was filled to the brim with junk food, soda (why wasn't it on the fridge?!), instant noodles, and...was that a blouse? He carefully picked it up between two fingers. The white fabric was stained with some kind of sauce. This was way beyond not having time to clean up. It took effort to put this here.

His head shifted over to Glynda's room. She told him to stay out, but would she really mind if he dropped her clothes back in her bed? He wasn't gonna touch anything. Steeling himself, he grabbed some of the other discarded clothes - blouses, skirts, stockings - and folded them neatly into piles. Just go in, drop her clothes, and get out. It was the polite, neightborly thing to do. Roomately. Whatever. He was trying to be a good tenant here.

Jaune opened the door and immediately wished he didn't.

He'd seen messes before. Grow up in a big house made sure of that. This? This wasn't a mess. This was the trash of the Brothers themselves. Every inch of the room was messy. Clothes strewn around everywhere, discarded beer cans and junk food wrappers everywhere. There were takeout containers just...lying on the floor, and half to them weren't even empty! Jaune covered his mouth with a shaky hand and sturggled to keep holding onto the clothes.

It wasn't just the floor either. It was everything. Her bed? Clothes, discarded wrappers, and - oh gods - a half-melted chocolate bar. Her table? Even more clothes, crumpled papers, multiple bottles of soda, and...was that a destroyed scroll?! That wasn't safe! Wait, none of this was safe!

The only bit of cleaning up to be seen were piles of trashbags on the other side of the room, and he used the term 'cleaning up' very loosely. Each one was overflowing with garbage and the tops weren't even sealed. How did she live like this?! How did she manage to look like that while living worse than any hobo?!

Jaune took a deep breath. Okay, so his roommate wasn't just a slob. She was the slob to end all slobs. He could deal with this. In a year's time, he'd be learning to fight Grimm. He could deal with this. With his held (and nose) held high, he walked inside through what little of the floor was left. Get in, drop the clothes, get out. Hell, they'd probably be the neatest thing in this room. He took every step as they came. Left, right, left, right, left-

There was a skittering on the bed and a big, angry brown rat crawled out of one of the wrappers. It glared at him with malicious intent.

...

Jaune screamed, tossed the clothes into the pile, and ran out of there as fast as his legs could carry him. He didn't look back to see if the vermin was giving chase. He just slammed the door behind him hard enough to rattle the walls.

Okay, so he'd definitely be following the house rules. Glynda's room? Forbidden. More restricted than the Grimmlands. Wouldn't go in there even if his life depended on it. Jaune wiped the sweat off his brow and ignored the skittering he heard behind the door. Not today, rat. Not today.

He trudged back to the fridge and mechanically grabbed whatever he could use to cook. This wasn't the welcoming party he was hoping for, but screw it. When life gave you lemons, you made orange juice. One year, he told himself as he turned on the stove. Just one year and his heroic journey could start.

He swore he heard the rat laugh at that.

[line break]

Poor Jaune. Wonder if he can survive a whole year with Glynda. On the bright side, rooming with a Beacon professor could definitely give him some brownie points and maybe some personal training.

Next Story Update

I’m writing a new Arcwitch (Jaune x Glynda) comm, so that should come out soon. I’m also still doing the Zenless story for Wise/Lucy and maybe a second chapter for Princess Blake where the two go to Beacon together.

Just trying to come up with team compositions and what shenanigans to go through. I’m leaning towards Jaune, Ruby, Blake, and Weiss with Blake and Weiss as partners for maximum misunderstandings. Blake might also whoop Weiss’ butt during sparring, that would make her salty.

If you guys have any specific shenanigans in mind, comment it. I’m also thinking it might have some romance with Jaune falling for Blake first. Heresy, I know, but first time for everything.

The Cat-Spiracy

On team RWBY's visit to Menagerie, Ruby notices a disturbing pattern.

Eldritch Jaune - Chapter 5

Long delayed Eldritch Jaune chapter.

Change of Plans (Silent Knight)

Phantom Thief Jaune Arc steals from the evil Schnee family. Neo rewards him.

Update note: Eldritch Jaune still ongoing. Currently 2000 words in. Will be available to all paid members.

Fixer-Upper (Lancaster NSFW)

Ruby tries and fails to make something. Jaune succeeds and she's really into it.

Lancaster Teaser

Still writing. Also dealing with real life stuff. Family issues, moving, all that. Figure I should show you guys some progress.

[line break]

Ruby Rose was a woman of many talents. At 24 years old, she saved the world from a genocidal immortal witch, stopped a crazy bitch who wanted magic powers (then got those powers herself, details), and then finally punished the gods who started this whole dang mess (but not before making them fix everything and delete all the Grimm from existence). All before she was old enough to drink. Not bad for someone who flunked Dr. Oobleck's history class.

She also ended up marrying the best man on Remnant. Jaune. Just thinking about him made her chest tingle in that funny way even though they'd been married for almost two years now. Yang joked that the two of them were in the perpetual honeymoon phase, though they she didn't really have room to talk considering the three-way thing she had with Blake and Weiss (and wasn't that a surprise!). As far as Ruby considered it, they deserved this happy ending.

So yeah, not to toot her own horn or anything, but it wasn't a lie to say she had it all. Looks, brains, and skills. Especially engineering skills. Most Huntsmen knew how to build (or at least maintain) weapons, but Ruby was a savant. She was tinkering with weapons as soon as she could walk and made her first makeshift firearm - a tube shotgun she called Little Stubby - when she was seven. Dad screamed so bad when she used it to shoot out a window...

Even Crescent Rose, her (first) baby, was a work of art she made when she was still in Signal. She improved it over the years, of course, but the baseline was pure prodigy ingenuinty. No blueprints or stealing ideas from anyone else, just her own hard work. She'd worked on weapons, vehicles, engines, and just about anything she could get her hands on. Engineering was the love of her life (next to Jaune and her friends), and she could disassemble an Atlas gunship while she was blindfolded.

...

So why the heck was this so damn hard?!

Ruby glared hatefully at the instruction manual and the scattered parts on the floor. Ruby had faced Salem, Cinder, Tyrian, and the that really annoying woman in the HOA (screw you, Helen!). But nothing - and she meant nothing - earned her undying hatred more than IKEA.

It was supposed to be simple! The parts were all set, the instructions were clear, and even a five year old could do it! But here she was. Ruby Rose, world savior and engineer extraordinaire, completely failing to make a crib with the instructions right there.

This wasn't supposed to be complicated! She could repair mechashift rifles in her sleep, she helped repair Amity arena after it crashed, but a crib? Apparently, it was impossible! This was supposed to be a surprise for Jaune. They just got the positive pregnancy test and they were over the moon. Jaune spent the past week practically fist pumping - another reason she was so in love with him. She even told him by telling to get something from the oven. The look of realization on his face when she he saw the single bun still made her chest warm.

A feeling that was immediately replaced by just how pissed off she was right now!

Ruby growled and looked over the instructions again. Then back to the...thing she made. It was supposed to be a crib. It ended up looking like some kind of wooden abomination that would've given Salem nightmares. It was taller than she was and had wings! Wings! She wasn't even sure where those extra parts came from cause she didn't make them and they definitely weren't in the original packaging. Feels like Salem was spiting her from beyond her seal.

She sighed and dismantled the whole thing. Again. This was the dozenth time she'd done this and she was ten seconds away from blowing up her house with a firestorm. Think of the baby, she told herself as she set the pieces back down. And Jaune too. He'd be so disappointed if she blew up their house. Again. In her defense, Maiden powers were really annoying to deal with, especially since Ozpin was gone and wasn't around to teach her.

Question

Doing a Nsfw Lancaster oneshot for dedicated readers, but thinking of something else. Would you guys like another chapter for Princess Blake? If so, what do you want it to be about?

Beacon's Most Obnoxious Couple

Made at the suggestion of discord members. Jaune and Cinder are Beacon's most obnoxiously lovey-dovey couple, which gets on everyone's nerves.

Still writing Eldritch Jaune, but hitting some writers block. Wrote this out to try and get the juices flowing.

Update

Writing Eldritch Jaune chapter plus thinking of the Zenless story. Lucy seems to have won the vote, so Wise x Lucy incoming. Pretty close to White Knight to an extent.

Also maybe a more sweet Arkos story that's not me bullying Pyrrha. Again. Just pure vanilla romance and sweet smut.

Maid Jaune 8

Jaune tries to take a day off. Emphasis on try.

Heads Up

I've been cleaning up some of my older posts in order to adhere more closely to community guidelines and avoid risk. Apologies for that. I'll be replacing them with other works that follow the rules more closely. Will also force me to vary up my writing style. Maybe some more sweet Jaune x Pyrrha stuff? I have an idea for a Maiden Pyrrha dating Jaune and the magic making her more confident in herself.

Likewise, Yellow Torch is currently under review and hopefully should be up again in a couple of days. I may put up google docs links to the deleted works. Tweaking some things now.

My next commission is the next chapter for Eldritch Jaune, but I'm also thinking of a patreon exclusive ZZZ romance work as well. I'm torn between Anby or Lucy. Stoic super soldier vs. fiery former heiress. Which one appeals to you guys more? Assuming you play ZZZ, of course.

Minecraft Jaune - Chapter 8

I'm sorta excited about this since this is the first time we've seen Jaune's POV (at the allowance of the commissioner).

For anyone interested in making a commission, email me at: storylover543@gmail.com

Patreon Note - Next thing will be a patreon exclusive Jaune x Neo smut oneshot. People seem to be hankering for Silent Knight.

[line break]

For the first time in months, Jaune felt excited.

The blonde whistled a jaunty tune as he made a larger teleporter on the cliff overlooking the Emerald Forest. That was another place to gather some materials, though there wasn't much there apart from some garden variety Grimm, trees, and stones. Nothing really worth stockpiling. He reminded himself to head over to the Ever After to get the pieces he needed for Infinity. He couldn't wait to see Ruby's smile when she got it. An engineer after his own heart.

His own smile dimmed slightly when he remembered that Coco girl. It wasn't the first time people asked him for stuff. Back when his Semblance first showed, he took just about any request people made. It was only after Dad sat him down that he learned to be more selective. He still took requests, but only if he liked the person or they were doing it for someone else. He still remembered little Marko who wanted a new wheelchair for his granddad while offering him all the allowance he saved up for that year.

He always wanted to be a hero. When he was a kid, he dreamed about taking Crocea Mors and wandering the land like a knight errant. Protecting villages, saving people in distress, or rescuing people at the last minute. Sadly, his skills never matched up to his dreams. He tried, of course, but he was a kid from the countryside. Most aspiring Huntsmen came from Huntsmen families or could afford training inside the kingdoms. There were exceptions, of course, but he wasn't part of that group. Huntsmen level training from personal mentors didn't come cheap and there weren't any combat schools near where Domremy was.

Ironically, he had more than enough money now to get whatever training he wanted, but the thought of being a regular Huntsman was the farthest thing from his mind now. He still dreamed sometimes of being the wandering hero, of coruse, but he knew that he could do more than just kill Grimm. There were thousands of Huntsmen across Remnant. There was only one (at least far as he knew) person with abilities like his. With great power came great responsibility and all that.

Which was why he was doing this now.

Jaune almost finished up the portal. He rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand and looked back at the group watching him. Headmaster Ozpin, Professor Goodwitch, and those two people from Atlas. General Ironwood and Winter Schnee. He could see the resemblance to Weiss clear as day.

His eyes flicked over to the General briefly. He liked to think the best of people, but the General's first impression was a bad one. Their first meeting and he was already asking - demanding, really - that he work for Atlas. Jaune wasn't against working for good causes. Heck, it was pretty much the only thing he could really do right now. He had more than enough money to last ten lifetimes for him and his family and Domremy was as stable as it could be. Helping people was the only real thing he could devote himself to outside of just retiring and spending the next 60 years coasting on what he already did.

But the General wasn't asking for help. He was demanding his Semblance for Atlas like he was entitled to it. Atlas didn't need help. They were the most technologically advanced kingdom in all of Remnant. They didn't need the help. Sure, the General tried to frame it as helping against that Salem monster, but he didn't seem like the type to just hold up his hands and go "that's enough, thanks for all the help". He seemed like the type to keep asking for more.

Ozpin coughed behind him, "Mr. Arc, could I ask what exactly your plan is?"

"You'll see." He hammered in the last block. The portal suddenly activated, the ethereal gate twisting gently. The General's brows furrowed and he muttered somehting under his breath that Jaune couldn't make out, "Uh, you might all wanna step back."

The first footsteps made Winter Schnee draw her sword. The four of them looked with wide eyes as the first of the knights stepped forward. The General Knights came first. 20 feet tall with ornate black and gold armor. There were only three of them, but that was all he needed. They were his strongest creations. The ones who led the Legion. If all else failed, they were the last line of defense. And they were worth all those Ever After materials.

After the Generals were the regular knights. He had tens of thousands stockpiled under Domremy, but he figured maybe four to five thousand would be enough? He wasn't exactly planning to rush this. Mount Glenn had been abandoned for decades and the Grimm weren't going anywhere. Plus Grimm didn't know anything about siege tactics. Even then, he expected that the majority of the Grimm extermination would take maybe a day or two. The biggest issue was with the stragglers.

Professor Goodwitch, Winter Schnee, and General Ironwood all looked surprised when they saw the knights marching into the cliff. The area wasn't big enough to hold all of them, so he'd have to keep them marching straight into the airship docks. Or maybe make a portal straight to Mt. Glenn. He'd need to check his material stockpile to see if he had the stuff to spare.

Ozpin coughed, "Mr. Arc, this may be an odd question to ask, but do you believe in magic?" The other three looked at him in alarm.

"Uh...yeah?" Jaune shrugged, still watching the knights file out in single form, "I've been to the Ever After. Some things you just can't explain with science." Especially that little bastard Jinxy Peddler. That guy gouged him every time they met. Which was impressive considering the Ever After didn't have currency.

"And do you believe that your Semblance is magical in nature?"

"What? Of course not. It's a Semblance, not magic." Jaune rolled his eyes.

"I...see. If you're certain." He took a sip of his hot chocolate, "Perhaps we should talk about your plans before James' head explodes." He gestured to General Ironwood. The older man was looking at his knights with an intense stare that said a thousand words. Jaune said he was willing to loan out his knights, and he needed to stand firm on that. Another lesson his parents taught him. Be kind, but make sure to draw a line in the sand so people didn't exploit you.

"I assume this will be the main force you'll be using, Mr. Arc," General Ironwood said.

"Yep." Jaune patted one of the knights, which saluted in response, "You said you were willing to lend ships. They'll bombard the Grimm and hit the ones in the air like Nevermores. My Knights will deal with the horde when they came scattering out." He jerked his thumb to one of the General Knights, "Galahad can lead the front and the purging outside. Lancelot will deal with Grimm trying to escape. Mordred will focus on assisting the Huntsmen."

"Interesting names..." Winter Schnee muttered.

"Always liked the old stories." Jaune shrugged with a smile, "Anyway, once the place is cleared out, I can start rebuilding."

"The issue comes with Vale." Professor Goodwitch adjusted her glasses, "Technically, Mt. Glenn is considered public property since no one wants to deal with a Grimm-infested husk, but the council will definitely be interested once Mr. Arc starts rebuilding. They'll claim ownership or bring up some obscure law to justify taking once you've done all the work." She nodded at Jaune, "Politicians can be cutthroat, sometimes literally."

"I can handle that in exchange for certain favors," Ozpin said.

"Depends on the favors."

"Nothing different than what you're already providing, I assure you. I've no interest in personal power, only stopping Salem." He believed him. Even with the bad first impression, "This will also help in that regard. Salem feeds on despair and hopelessess. Showing that we can fight back will bolster everyone."

"I'd prefer if we focused on direct solutions over propaganda victories," General Ironwood said with a frown.

"There are thousands of Huntsmen. Not a lot of people who can give people homes in days." He remembered the place Blake took him to. So many people homeless because the other option was risking it outside the walls where the Grimm could get them, "It'll be nice to help people with more than just surviving the next Grimm attack. They need homes, farms, a place to sleep without worrying if they'll be able to survive the next day."

"A noble sentiment. I approve." Professor Goodwitch nodded.

"Beacon can house these Knights while we transport them to Mt. Glenn. I'm sure Atlas will be more than happy to assist in that regard."

"Provided we gain some knights, yes."

"You can have them for a while, like I said. You can't keep them." The General's lips pursed and he looked like he wanted to argue. Jaune was already walking away, "Before we do that, I gotta go to the Ever After first. Get Ruby her gift." He smiled. He couldn't wait to see the look on her face once she got Infinity. He ignored the memory of that Coco girl again. Ruby didn't ask for anything. He offered and she accepted. She didn't act entitled to it.

He walked over to the dorm room across team RWBY's and knocked on the door, "Coming~!" The door opened and he was greeted with Nora's beaming face, "Oh! Hey, Jaune! What's up?"

"Picking up a friend." He looked past her and saw Curious chatting with that Ciel girl. Ren and Pyrrha were nowhere to be found, "Curious! I'm heading to the Ever After, you coming with me?"

"Hm?" The multi-colored cat looked up languidly, "Why ever would you want to return to that place after Jinxy made you do that three hour jig?"

"Need materials for Infinity, you know that."

"Hm. I suppose it has been a while since I visited home." He stretched and disappeared for a second before suddenly appearing on Jaune's right shoulder, "And someone has to watch over you and make sure you don't have to share your embarassing memories in front of a crowd again."

"That was one time! Jinxy had that transcendent bark I needed and he wasn't gonna sell it for anything else."

"A shame the Ever After doesn't have the luminous rectangles. I would've enjoyed recording that."

"It's called a scroll, and you aren't recording jack!" Jaune crossed his arms and walked off, saying goodbye to Nora and Ciel as he did. He made his way to the portal located in the room designated for it. A quick swipe of the runestone and he was back in the portal room at his castle. He definitely needed to make sure to keep the runestones close. It was the only way to use the portals. Only team RWBY had copies so far and they were keeping them under lock and key.

It took him over 12 hours - the whole afternoon until 6 am the next morning - until to gather the required materials, and that was him getting lucky with Jinxy only asking for a hug this time (apparently they were very valuable in the Ever After). That wasn't to say it was easy, of course. He had to kill the Jabberwalker twice for shadow skin, go through a punderstorm for truth essence, then beat the Red Prince in a game of chess (then run away when the sore loser tried to have him executed) for perfection porcelain.

By the time he got back, Jaune was haggard and covered in substances that shall not be named while Curious' face was knotted in distaste, "Every time we return there I'm reminded of why I was so eager to leave," his friend's voice was dry enough to peel paint, "I certainly hope this human girl you're so affectionate with is worth all this trouble."

"Ruby's great. Just wants to be a Huntress to help people."

"Hm, is this what people in this world regard as courtship rituals?"

"Wh-What?" Jaune's face flushed slightly and he laughed, "Come on, Curious, it's not like that. Ruby's just a friend!"

"And what about the rest of that team? The girl with the cat ears, the ice princess, and the fire woman?"

"They're friends too." He shook his hands to wipe away some of the gunk clinging to his fingers, "Don't make it weird, man."

"Perhaps one day I'll tell you the story of the Oblivious Prince." The Afteran sighed and hopped off his shoulder before Jaune could respond. Jaune shook his head and walked over to the runic table. Whatever, Curious was always making comments like that. He focused on creating the Infininty rune. Once he was done, all they had to do was bond it to Crescent Rose. The bonding would be permanent, so no need to worry about someone else stealing it.

It took him almost six hours to get everything right. One mistake and the materials would've been wasted and he'd have to gather them up all over again. Every step had to be checked and double checked. By the time he was done, his scroll had 11:56 on the screen. Lunchtime at Beacon. Perfect.

Jaune pocketed the runestone and walked through the Beacon portal with a skip in his step. The students were already in the dining hall. Another thing he was proud of. He still wasn't sure who the jerks were who ruined that place (and the highway and the docks), but it gave him a chance to do some redecorating. People seemed to like it too, especially the Ruby statue. That was one a spur of the moment addition. He needed something to fill the center.

He stepped inside and bumped into a big, burly guy wearing armor. He didn't know his name, but he glared down at Jaune like he spat in his Pumpkin Pete's, "Watch where you're going, civvie."

"Hey, you bumped into me." Jaune walked past him and made his way to Ruby's table.

Team RWBY and Team PNCR were already seated. Ruby looked up when he approached and waved, "Hey, Jaune! I got you a tray!" She gestured to a tray full of eggs, bacon, and french fries next to her. For some reason, Blake and Weiss frowned, "Where've you been?"

"Just making something," he said, holding back a grin.

"Would it have something to do with those Knights we've seen wandering around?" Weiss asked.

"No, that's another thing. I made something different." He held up the runestone towards Ruby. She looked confused for a second before her eyes widened and she gasped, both hands covering her mouth, "I did it, Ruby. Infinity! Let's put it on Crescent Rose when you finish eating!"

For a second, the entire table was quiet. And then Ruby squealed loud enough to almost hurt his ears. Jaune was almost forced off his feet as his new bestie jumped into him with her arms wrapped around his neck in a tight embrace. He hugged her back automatically while trying to make sure he kept the runestone from falling, "Jaune! Thank you, thank you, thank you~!" Her legs swung up and down, which made keeping his balance even harder.

"Y-You're welcome!" He laughed and set her down. He offered her the runestone again and she took it carefully, making sure to hold it gently like it could shatter at any second, "Remember, once you bond it to a weapon, it's permanent."

"That's not a problem! Crescent Rose is my forever weapon!" Ruby bounced on the balls of her feet, looking down at the circular stone with awe, "Jaune...this is amazing. If you ever need anything - anything - don't ever hesitate to tell me, okay?"

"I'll be sure to-"

"And I mean ANYTHING." She leaned forward, eyes wide and face just inches away from his, "Don't even think about if it's something I won't do, cause I'll do it! Anything! No matter how weird or d-dirty it is, I can-"

"Okay, let's dial it back a bit sis." Yang grabbed Ruby's collar and tugged her back. Ruby yelped and struggled while Yang manhandled her with one hand, "We're still public here. Let's keep it PG-13."

"Haha, I'm glad you like it." Jaune grinned. Seeing Ruby smile so sincerely was worth all that work.

"That was very...generous of you, Jaune," Weiss said. Her smile didn't quite reach her eyes, "I'm sure Ruby appreciates it, though I can't help but wonder if some other people might've benefited from such a beneficial upgrade."

"Yeah, maybe." Jaune shrugged noncomittaly. That Coco girl probably saw all that, but he didn't really think about that now. She was just some stranger expecting things from someone she didn't even know, "But I've seen Ruby work. She can do a lot of good with Infinity. Lot of bang for your buck."

"Indeed, though force isn't the only factor when it comes to combat. Versatility and grace, I'd argue, is far more beneficial."

"Your green eyes are showing there, Weiss Cream." Yang snorted.

"My eyes are crystal blue, thank you very much!" Weiss glared at her.

"Ammunition that never runs out," Ciel muttered, "The Atlas military and Specialists could benefit heavily from such an upgrade."

"Yeah, well, it's not exactly something I can mass produce. This one's special." He sat next to Ruby and pulled the offered tray close, "Besides, doesn't seem like Atlas needs any help. They've already got the best tech in Remnant."

"Exactly. Atlas, the SDC...all of them hoarding technology and benefits," Blake said, "Meanwhile, other people have to make do with whatever they can get. Doesn't seem fair, does it?" She sighed sadly.

"Yeah, it isn't." Jaune nodded sympathetically. She was right there.

"And yet that technology means it can do the most good if led properly."

"While everyone else just has to wait. Typical." Blake rolled her eyes.

"You-"

"Rrgh, stop arguing! You're ruining the mood!" Ruby slapped both hands on the table, "Jaune just got me the most amazing present ever, you two aren't gonna ruin it!"

"We're not-"

"She started-"

"That was a very kind gesture, Jaune," Pyrrha said, cutting off both Blake and Weiss, "I'm sure Ruby will be an even better Huntress with your help."

"Here's hoping." Jaune nodded again. Maybe she'd get a chance to prove it sooner rather than later.

[line break]

It didn't take long for all of Beacon to notice the knights. They weren't exactly subtle. Knights of gleaming armor walking in formation towards the docks, each of them at least ten feet fall and walking with rigid duty. Weiss had seen a few of them during their brief stay in Domremy and found them eye-catching even then. She'd always had a fondness for knights thanks to her grandfather. Despite childhood and innocence being taken from her, her admirations for knights never faded.

The rest of their groups were rather taken by the knights as well. Especially Pyrrha. Seems...disconcertingly excited seeing the 20 foot tall ones.

Most of the students were smart enough to give them a wide berth. Emphasis on most. That brute Cardin, for whatever reason, seemed annoyed by them and attempted to attack one with his mace. It ended with him getting backhanded through a wall. It was more humiliating than dangerous thanks to his Aura, but it sent a message. Now every student gave the knights a wide berth, though a few insisted on taking selfies. They weren't hostile unless they were being attacked, after all.

The other thing people noticed were the ships. Atlas had the best aerial fleet in all of Remnant and they'd never been hesitant to show it to the other kingdoms. Seeing those same ships hovering over Beacon to collect the knights made for quite a sight. She imagined the Vale council wasn't much pleased, but Beacon always held a degree of independence from kingdom politics. It was one reason she chose to come here over Mistral or Vacuo.

So by the time the students were gathered in the main hall for Ozpin's speech, it felt more like a formality. The headmaster coughed before speaking into the microphone, "Students. I'm sure you've all seen our...guests by now." Cardin groused under his breath. Lout, "There's no need to worry, this is not some foreign invasion." The fact that he had to clarify that wasn't comforting... "Beacon is actually taking part in something historic. Many of you are aware of the fall of Mt. Glenn."

Weiss' brows furrowed. The fall of Mt. Glenn was before her time - literally, it happened twenty years ago. All she knew about it was what she read from the history books. Vale's attempt at expansion that went catastrophically wrong. The settlement didn't have the natural walls needed for a larger concentrated population, so when the Grimm suddenly surged, the people were forced to barricade themselves into the tunnels.

And even then, it didn't save them. Whether through sabotage or poor architectural planning, the Grimm got inside and Vale was forced to blow up the tunnels with the people inside. Outside of their defeats in the Great War, it was considered the greatest loss in Vale's history. There'd been sporadic attempts to reclaim it over the past couple of decades, but they were half-hearted at best. Usually campaign promises about retaking Vale's glory then sending a token Huntsmen force to show that they were technically fulfilling their promises. Reclaiming it would've been an amazing symbolic victory, but clearing out the Grimm and rebuilding an entire city came at a steep price.

"A great tragedy, one Vale has spent decades trying to recover from. That day is today." He gestured to one of the knights, which walked up on stage, "Thanks to Mr. Arc's assistance, Beacon and Atlas will be reclaiming Mt. Glenn. He has also generously agreed to rebuild it for people that need a home." Blake's bow twitched. Weiss' brows furrowed, "It is for this reason that classes will be suspended for the next few days while the Professors assist in this endeavor. However, third and fourth year students are welcome to assist in the reclamation if they wish."

A buzz of excitement ran through the crowd. She knew from the curriculum that third and fourth years spent more time on missions and practical field work than regular classes. This was merely an extension of that.

The electric atmosphere continued for the rest of the day. Many of the upper years were clearly planning to join (if only for the bragging rights of being there when history was made) while the lower years were quite eager to spend the break relaxing. Weiss found herself listless. She would've preferred to be present at such an event. If nothing else, she would've loved to see the Knights in action.

"This proves what he can do," Blake said that night at their dorm room. Ruby was off doing "things" with her weapon and Yang decided today was a good time to go clubbing, "Reclaiming a city like it's nothing. Imagine what he could do for some place more deserving."

"By "more deserving", I assume you mean Menagerie?" Weiss raised a brow.

"Duh." Blake scoffed, "The Faunus have been waiting for a real homeland for centuries."

"And your solution is to have a Human give you that homeland?" Weiss asked dryly.

"A Faunus homeland doesn't mean Faunus only, Weiss. Same way the kingdoms aren't Human only, even if some prejudiced assholes think otherwise." The casual curse made Weiss blink. Blake almost never used profanity, "The Faunus have fought and bled for centuries with nothing to show for it except "maybe later". Well, we're done waiting. I'll take any chance to save my people."

"By having someone else do all the work for you. Very impressive."

"Says the heiress inheriting a company who also wants Jaune to help depose her dad."

The two glared at one another. This was why being alone together without Ruby and Yang was...tense. They got along for the sake of team cohesion, but the Schnee-Faunus/White Fang divide was a gap that was difficult to cross. They didn't hate one another, but they didn't exactly go out of their way to spend time as a pair outside of group outings. The mission to Domremy had only exacerbated tensions.

Their silent stare-off lasted up until someone knocked on the door. Weiss expected to see Ruby coming back hugging her scythe or Yang with a hangover. Instead, it was Jaune, "Hey, Weiss."

"Jaune. To what do we owe the pleasure?" She smiled charmingly and fluttered her eyelashes. Blake rolled her eyes behind her.

"Well...it's about the reclamation tomorrow."

The next day, team RWBY and PNCR found themselves on an airship heading towards Mt. Glenn. Jaune had talked to the headmaster to allow their two teams to be present in the reclamation if they wished; something both groups were more than eager to participate in. The core of being a Huntsman was the protection of others and the elimination of Grimm. Missing out on this would've been a waste.

Weiss' excitement was blunted by her partner, "Who's a good weapon? You are! Yes you are~!" she cooed at her scythe, cradling it like it was a baby. Ruby always had an...unhealthy attachment to weaponry, but Jaune's Infinity had turned it borderline scandalous. She'd slept with it last night (which was against the rules), wouldn't stop baby talking to it, and sounded downright aroused as she talked about how much Grimm she could kill with a non-stop barrage. She was tempted to jump out of the airship to give the two some room.

Weiss was not jealous, of course. That would've been unseemly. So what if she thought that she could've used a gift like that just as well, if not better, than rifle? Myrtenaster was a weapon of elegance. With her Semblance, dust wasn't merely a projectile but an extension of power. But Dust was also expensive even with her allowance and finding the right purity and grade could be difficult given Vale's more limited selection. It forced her to be conservative. Time Dilation, for example, was an extremely powerful skill. One that required the purest lightning Dust to achieve its effect, and even then only for a few seconds till the Dust was consumed.

Being able to use it infinitely would've increased her combat capabilities tenfold. Surely, that was worth more than a barrage of bullets?

Shaking her head, Weiss looked out the window. They were close to Mt. Glenn now. The destroyed husk of a city made for a stark sight. A place that was meant to be hopeful turned into a dilapidated ruin. And yet Jaune believed that it could be fixed. Given what she knew of him, she had no doubt he had the capability to do so. She was more worried about the politics that'd come after. No doubt the politicians in Vale were already circling, salivating at the thought of taking credit, claiming ownership, and demanding even more from Jaune like they were entitled to his gifts.

That was why he needed her help, she thought. He could help her navigate the shark-infested waters and teach him all about the cruelty of people. Grimm were simple, they didn't pretend to be more than they were. But people? They would smile and call you a friend with one hand while moving to stab you with the other. Jaune was kind, sincere. He deserved better than some scheming politician or businessman exploiting him like cheap labor.

"We're gonna kill so much Grimm..." Ruby muttered under her breath, rubbing her scythe's compressed form with disturbing fondness, "And then everyone's gonna see how amazing you are. You're gonna be the best sniper-scythe in all of Remnant." Weiss not-so-subtly scooted away from her partner, as did everyone else on the ship. Not that Ruby cared. She was too busy whispering sweet nothings to the inanimate hunk of metal in-between promising to reward Jaune for all his help. Ugh...

Ruby suddenly stood up and made her way to the side doors, "Ruby, what are you-"

She opened the door and the cabin was immediately buffeted by powerful high winds, "Rubes, the fuck?!" Yang shouted, hair whipping around like a deranged curtain. The giggling reaper ignored them all and unfolded Crescent Rose into its sniper form. Then she shot down into the horde. Ten, twenty, thirty. She used her Semblance to speed up her trigger and bolt pulling. Normally, Crescent Rose had a ten bullet limit. The price of firing such powerful rounds.

Now? Ruby was shooting bullets downrange like a Brothers damned minigun.

Weiss plugged her ears, face knotted in distaste as Ruby shot a non-stop barrage of gunfire down at the Grimm. The knights were already doing the bulk of the work by purging the Grimm in the deeper parts of the city. In truth, the students were mostly being used to take care of the stragglers and the Grimm that separated from the main force of the horde. Which made sense, but it was still rather anti-climactic, all things considered.

"Woof, look at Jaune's army go," Yang said.

"Indeed. Knowing this is all under the control of one man is...disconcerting," Ciel hummed.

"Better than under Atlas control," Blake muttered. Ciel looked at her with narrowed eyes but said nothing. Ruby continued to shoot, giggling like she was drunk. She was using a wide variety of Dus. Fire, ice, lightning, even plant. Rarity and cost was no longer an issue thanks to the upgrade Jaune gave her.

Seeing her partner shooting, Weiss' mind began to plan. Would this Infinity work with other things? It clearly interacted with Dust, so what about machinery that never needed fuel? Or transmuters that produced absolute pure Dust without expending the unrefined components?

It would be...very useful.

The airship dropped them off at the forward base camp (made by Jaune, of course). Weiss hopped off the ramp and looked at the desolatated city once more. Not too long from now, it would soon be a flourishing settlement once more. She unsheathed Myrtenaster and rolled the cylinder. It was time to do her part.

[line break]

Adam was furious.

"Pack it up! We have to leave now!" he shouted to his soldiers. It was all a mad scramble. His Brothers and Sisters rushed to pack up the Dust that had been gathered into containers as they rushed into the escape tunnels.

Not for the first time that day, he cursed himself for getting involved with that madwoman Cinder. His first instinct when she and her human slaves came into his camp had been to decapitate her and mount her head on a pike as a warning to others. Instead, her unusual power held his rage at bay and he listened to her plans. She wanted to destroy Vale but she needed an army. Bodies. And for some reason, she chose the White Fang.

He agreed out of mutual necessity. He cared little for Cinder and whatever grand scheme she was concocting, but teaching the Humans of Vale that they weren't safe behind their walls was worth stomaching her presence. The Faunus who'd long since accepted the Humans stamping on their necks would join their masters when the Grimm came. He considered it a mercy kill. Proud Faunus brought low and turned into glorified pets. Their deaths would've been a message to Faunus all across Remnant. Either they fought with their heads raised or died on their knees.

It was supposed to be a simple task. That grating thief Roman would steal the Dust, they would load it onto the trains, and then they would ram it into Vale through the Mt. Glenn tunnels. It wasn't without its risks, of course, but the men and women of the White Fang weren't afraid to die for their beliefs.

But the last thing any of them expected was an invasion.

Adam led his troops through the escape tunnels. They'd purged it of Grimm months ago to serve as an extraction point. The tunnels went from Mt. Glenn to the Forever Fall forest. It would be an hours long walk, but holding Mt. Glenn against both the agitated Grimm and the invaders was a fool's errand. If Cinder decided to end their "partnership" here, then fine. He wasn't going to lead his group to their doom for the sake of her vanity.

A scream from behind made him look back. Adam turned and growled at the sight of a suit of armor rushing towards them. The robots - because they definitely weren't Human - had seemed confused when it stumbled upon them in the tunnels. And then one of the younger recruits, Perry, panicked and fired. It was like a switch had flipped and it went from stoic to murderous, charging at Perry before Bane blocked its charge. Barely. He'd seen the behemoth of a man stop charging Ursa Majors flat and yet that knight had nearly knocked him off his feet.

"Go!" Adam shouted. He charged the metal monstrosity, unsheathing wilt in one fluid motion. The knight's blade met Wilt's blood red edge and the two of them clashed. With a frustrated growl, Adam pushed it back and slashed its midsection. Wilt didn't cut through perfectly, but it left a deep gash that would've disemboweled a regular person. Instead, the knight continued to attack without heed of the damage, slashing and stabbing with deceptive speed.

Adam blocked each and every one as he felt his Semblance charging. Once it reached its peak, he jumped back, sheathed his sword, then unsheathed it again to unleash a powerful moonslice that bisected the knight vertically. It stood there for a moment before both halves fell separately.

Adam sheathed Wilt once again and continued the retreat, ignoring the looks of awe from his Brothers and Sisters. He vowed to himself that he would erase the one that cost him so much time and effort. Whoever they were, they would pay dearly for this.

[line break]

James Ironwood was not a man who was easily cowed. He was one of the youngest Generals in Atlas history and he'd earned that position through merit. He was born from a middle class family, he had no special connections to people in power, and he'd faced sabotage from people who thought they deserved his position more. It was...challenging and frustrating in equal measure, but he took it on the chin. If there was one thing he refused to do, it was give up.

So when Ozpin told him about Salem a decade back, he didn't falter at the thought of a long-lived Grimm Queen. Instead, he saw her as another problem to solve. Nothing was invincible, and while Oz seemed satisfied with stalemating that witch, he refused such meager stalling.

Which brought him to Jaune Arc.

James' gaze shifted to the young man standing beside him on the airship's deck. They'd taken a bird's eye view of the operation. From what Arc told him, the knights were semi-autonomous and followed his commands as relayed by the three General Knights. He could've stayed back at Beacon if he wished, but he felt some sort of responsibility to see it all happen.

Calculating eyes scanned the battlefield. The knights were...impressive. Faster than Atlesian paladins and far sturdier than the AK-200 robots. While they lacked in ranged abilities (or the raw firepower of SDC spider droids), that seemed more like a personal preference than an actual limitation. He'd read reports and seen firsthand what Arc was capable of and the casual ease with which he did it. He'd created an army thousands strong that surpassed conventional forces body-for-body while turning his settlement into a burgeoning kingdom.

"Uh-oh..."

"What is it, Mr. Arc?" James asked.

"Take a look over there." He pointed to the right flank of the battlefield where Ruby Rose - Oz's pet project - charged a head in a blur of red, "Guess Ruby was really excited to test out Infinity." James' mouth twitched. Ah yes, "Infinity". Another bit of insanity that he treated with casual ease. Limitless ammo...and he gave it to a teenager who thought rushing into Grimm hordes was the best use of her time. He couldn't help but think of how more...practical people could've used such a gift. Winter or any of the Ace-Ops would've been infinitely more wise than a teenager with special eyes. Magic wouldn't be what won the day against Salem.

The rest of Rose's team, along with team PNCR, followed after her, multicolored dots on the horizon. He could already feel a headache forming. He would've preferred if those first years stayed out of it, but Arc seemed to think they were worth bringing along for whatever reason. He could already imagine Oz and Glynda's reactions. Oz would shake his head about how "eager" his students were while Glynda would mutter something about detention till they were fourth years that Oz would veto because he always played favorites. That was how they ended up with the Branwens.

James saw many of the knights divert to assist them and his eyes narrowed. Arc didn't verbally order them to do that. Some sort of telepathic communication method? He shook his head. Now wasn't the time to muse on that. They had more important things to worry about. Her was certain Winter was already eager to get down there to save her reckless sister. He didn't know much about the younger Schnee, but if this was any indication, then she clearly didn't inherit her sister's caution.

He commanded the ship to draw closer. At the rate they were going, the bulk of the horde would already be purged before the day was even done. He almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. Vale had tried and failed to recover Mt. Glenn for two decades and now Jaune Arc would do it in less than a day. Atlas was providing assistance, of course - their ships targeted aerial Grimm like Nevermores and Griffons - but he was certain that the young man would've had some way to deal with those eventually.

He reminded himself that this was a favor for a favor. Arc was offering food and supplies, possibly even Dust. The less he had to deal with Jacques Schnee, the better.

They were getting close to the mountain itself when they all suddenly felt a shake even through the air. James grabbed the railings and tapped his communicator, "Status report!"

"General, there's a-"

The report was cut off by an ear-shattering roar. The top of the mountain suddenly burst open and...something came out. Despite his ringinging ears, James forced himself to focus. It was a Grimm. No, calling it that felt understated somehow. He'd seen numerous Grimm types across his decades of service. Everything from garden variety beowolves to even the rare Leviathans that were once-every-few-decades occurences.

This was different.

What emerged from the mountain was a monster straight out of legend. A dragon. Or wyvern. The exact terminology escaped him at the moment. His grip on the railing tightened so much that the steel bent under his fingers. He'd heard about it before, but it was always something out of a legend. There'd been no historical records and many doubted they even existed. The only reason he knew was because Ozpin said he'd faced one a hundred years ago in a past life.

All around him, the crew was going into a panic. Professional soldiers looked on in both awe and fear and even Winter's eyes were wide with shock. And yet Jaune Arc remained utterly unfazed, "Woah, that's new!" He peered at it like it was a curiosity, "Never thought I'd see dragons outside The End!"

"All units, focus fire on the new entity!" Ironwood barked, "We cannot let it-"

"Hey, don't worry about it! The three of them will handle the big guy!" Arc shouted past him.

He didn't get the chance to ask what in the hell that meant before he felt a tingle in the air. James' head snapped down to the chaotic ground and he saw one of the General Knights summon what appeared to be a spear made out of pure lightning. Without hesitation, it tossed the "spear" at the wyvern just as it began to take flight.

The projectile stabbed it clean through the torso. The gigantic grimm let out a deafening, pained roar and fell to the ground with enough force to shake the earth. Rock, dirt, and even other Grimm were tossed into the air. Just barely, he saw teams RWBY and PNCR flying back and landing with varying degrees of race, shaken but uninjured.

The wyvern attempted to stand up once more, green flames spewing from its mouth. The other two Generals didn't let it get far. They jumped and sliced through one wing each. The jagged wings crashed to the ground before dissipating, leaving the Grimm grounded. The order for a bombardment was already on his lips.

Too late. The remaining General Knight joined its brethren and what happened next could only be described as a massacre. The wyvern roared and shook, spewing flames and swiping claws with desperate fury, and yet it was all for naught. The Generals easy dodged or blocked its attacks while they continued their assault. Swords of cleaming silver coursed with energy as they tore through Grimm flesh like a hot knife through butter.

In just two minutes, the wyvern was no more. A stunned silence settled over the crew. Many of them seemed to be in disbelief with more than a few pinching themselves.

The silence was broken soon enough.

"Ha, awesome!" Arc leaned over the railing, "Galahad, Lancelot, Mordred, you did great!" And then, just to cap off the insanity of this day, the three knights raised their hands in a synchronized thumbs up, "Man, I gotta get down there! That thing's gonna be leaving a whole boatload of materials!"

"Grimm leave nothing behind when they dissipate..." James said numbly.

"Says you."

James Ironwood looked at this smiling young man and took a deep breath. He had to make plans, he told himself. Jaune Arc was too valuable - too dangerous - to be left to his own devices. Someone like him needed guidance, and Atlas would be the best to fulfill it.

[line break]

Mount Glenn reclamation: successful! Time to make a new settlement!

Question:

1. Been a while, so I've got to ask. Which faction are you guys most sympathetic with again? Blake and Weiss are getting heated and Mt. Glenn's reclamation means multiple factions are going to come to a head soon enough, either to use Jaune or to try and knock him off the board.

Minecraft Jaune - Chapter 8 (In-Progress/One-Third Finished)

Patreon Note - Posting this for now. This is still a work in progress, but I'm hoping I can finish it soon. I'm sorta excited about this since this is the first time we've seen Jaune's POV (at the allowance of the commissioner)

[line break]

For the first time in months, Jaune felt excited.

The blonde whistled a jaunty tune as he made a larger teleporter on the cliff overlooking the Emerald Forest. That was another place to gather some materials, though there wasn't much there apart from some garden variety Grimm, trees, and stones. Nothing really worth stockpiling. He reminded himself to head over to the Ever After to get the pieces he needed for Infinity. He couldn't wait to see Ruby's smile when she got it. An engineer after his own heart.

His own smile dimmed slightly when he remembered that Coco girl. It wasn't the first time people asked him for stuff. Back when his Semblance first showed, he took just about any request people made. It was only after Dad sat him down that he learned to be more selective. He still took requests, but only if he liked the person or they were doing it for someone else. He still remembered little Marko who wanted a new wheelchair for his granddad while offering him all the allowance he saved up for that year.

He always wanted to be a hero. When he was a kid, he dreamed about taking Crocea Mors and wandering the land like a knight errant. Protecting villages, saving people in distress, or rescuing people at the last minute. Sadly, his skills never matched up to his dreams. He tried, of course, but he was a kid from the countryside. Most aspiring Huntsmen came from Huntsmen families or could afford training inside the kingdoms. There were exceptions, of course, but he wasn't part of that group. Huntsmen level training from personal mentors didn't come cheap and there weren't any combat schools near where Domremy was.

Ironically, he had more than enough money now to get whatever training he wanted, but the thought of being a regular Huntsman was the farthest thing from his mind now. He still dreamed sometimes of being the wandering hero, of coruse, but he knew that he could do more than just kill Grimm. There were thousands of Huntsmen across Remnant. There was only one (at least far as he knew) person with abilities like his. With great power came great responsibility and all that.

Which was why he was doing this now.

Jaune almost finished up the portal. He rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand and looked back at the group watching him. Headmaster Ozpin, Professor Goodwitch, and those two people from Atlas. General Ironwood and Winter Schnee. He could see the resemblance to Weiss clear as day.

His eyes flicked over to the General briefly. He liked to think the best of people, but the General's first impression was a bad one. Their first meeting and he was already asking - demanding, really - that he work for Atlas. Jaune wasn't against working for good causes. Heck, it was pretty much the only thing he could really do right now. He had more than enough money to last ten lifetimes for him and his family and Domremy was as stable as it could be. Helping people was the only real thing he could devote himself to outside of just retiring and spending the next 60 years coasting on what he already did.

But the General wasn't asking for help. He was demanding his Semblance for Atlas like he was entitled to it. Atlas didn't need help. They were the most technologically advanced kingdom in all of Remnant. They didn't need the help. Sure, the General tried to frame it as helping against that Salem monster, but he didn't seem like the type to just hold up his hands and go "that's enough, thanks for all the help". He seemed like the type to keep asking for more.

Ozpin coughed behind him, "Mr. Arc, could I ask what exactly your plan is?"

"You'll see." He hammered in the last block. The portal suddenly activated, the ethereal gate twisting gently. The General's brows furrowed and he muttered somehting under his breath that Jaune couldn't make out, "Uh, you might all wanna step back."

The first footsteps made Winter Schnee draw her sword. The four of them looked with wide eyes as the first of the knights stepped forward. The General Knights came first. 20 feet tall with ornate black and gold armor. There were only three of them, but that was all he needed. They were his strongest creations. The ones who led the Legion. If all else failed, they were the last line of defense. And they were worth all those Ever After materials.

After the Generals were the regular knights. He had tens of thousands stockpiled under Domremy, but he figured maybe four to five thousand would be enough? He wasn't exactly planning to rush this. Mount Glenn had been abandoned for decades and the Grimm weren't going anywhere. Plus Grimm didn't know anything about siege tactics. Even then, he expected that the majority of the Grimm extermination would take maybe a day or two. The biggest issue was with the stragglers.

Professor Goodwitch, Winter Schnee, and General Ironwood all looked surprised when they saw the knights marching into the cliff. The area wasn't big enough to hold all of them, so he'd have to keep them marching straight into the airship docks. Or maybe make a portal straight to Mt. Glenn. He'd need to check his material stockpile to see if he had the stuff to spare.

Ozpin coughed, "Mr. Arc, this may be an odd question to ask, but do you believe in magic?" The other three looked at him in alarm.

"Uh...yeah?" Jaune shrugged, still watching the knights file out in single form, "I've been to the Ever After. Some things you just can't explain with science." Especially that little bastard Jinxy Peddler. That guy gouged him every time they met. Which was impressive considering the Ever After didn't have currency.

"And do you believe that your Semblance is magical in nature?"

"What? Of course not. It's a Semblance, not magic." Jaune rolled his eyes.

"I...see. If you're certain." He took a sip of his hot chocolate, "Perhaps we should talk about your plans before James' head explodes." He gestured to General Ironwood. The older man was looking at his knights with an intense stare that said a thousand words. Jaune said he was willing to loan out his knights, and he needed to stand firm on that. Another lesson his parents taught him. Be kind, but make sure to draw a line in the sand so people didn't exploit you.

"I assume this will be the main force you'll be using, Mr. Arc," General Ironwood said.

"Yep." Jaune patted one of the knights, which saluted in response, "You said you were willing to lend ships. They'll bombard the Grimm and hit the ones in the air like Nevermores. My Knights will deal with the horde when they came scattering out." He jerked his thumb to one of the General Knights, "Galahad can lead the front and the purging outside. Lancelot will deal with Grimm inside the tunnels. Mordred will

"Interesting names..." Winter Schnee muttered.

"Always liked the old stories." Jaune shrugged with a smile, "Anyway, once the place is cleared out, I can start rebuilding."

"The issue comes with Vale." Professor Goodwitch adjusted her glasses, "Technically, Mt. Glenn is considered public property since no one wants to deal with a Grimm-infested husk, but the council will definitely be interested once Mr. Arc starts rebuilding. They'll claim ownership or bring up some obscure law to justify taking once you've done all the work." She nodded at Jaune, "Politicians can be cutthroat, sometimes literally."

"I can handle that in exchange for certain favors," Ozpin said.

"Depends on the favors."

"Nothing different than what you're already providing, I assure you. I've no interest in personal power, only stopping Salem." He believed him. Even with the bad first impression, "This will also help in that regard. Salem feeds on despair and hopelessess. Showing that we can fight back will bolster everyone."

"I'd prefer if we focused on direct solutions over propaganda victories," General Ironwood said with a frown.

"There are thousands of Huntsmen. Not a lot of people who can give people homes in days." He remembered the place Blake took him to. So many people homeless because the other option was risking it outside the walls where the Grimm could get them, "It'll be nice to help people with more than just surviving the next Grimm attack. They need homes, farms, a place to sleep without worrying if they'll be able to survive the next day."

"A noble sentiment. I approve." Professor Goodwitch nodded.

"Beacon can house these Knights while we transport them to Mt. Glenn. I'm sure Atlas will be more than happy to assist in that regard."

"Provided we gain some knights, yes."

"You can have them for a while, like I said. You can't keep them." The General's lips pursed and he looked like he wanted to argue. Jaune was already walking away, "Before we do that, I gotta go to the Ever After first. Get Ruby her gift." He smiled. He couldn't wait to see the look on her face once she got Infinity. He ignored the memory of that Coco girl again. Ruby didn't ask for anything. He offered and she accepted. She didn't act entitled to it.

He walked over to the dorm room across team RWBY's and knocked on the door, "Coming~!" The door opened and he was greeted with Nora's beaming face, "Oh! Hey, Jaune! What's up?"

"Picking up a friend." He looked past her and saw Curious chatting with that Ciel girl. Ren and Pyrrha were nowhere to be found, "Curious! I'm heading to the Ever After, you coming with me?"

"Hm?" The multi-colored cat looked up languidly, "Why ever would you want to return to that place after Jinxy made you do that three hour jig?"

"Need materials for Infinity, you know that."

"Hm. I suppose it has been a while since I visited home." He stretched and disappeared for a second before suddenly appearing on Jaune's right shoulder, "And someone has to watch over you and make sure you don't have to share your embarassing memories in front of a crowd again."

"That was one time! Jinxy had that transcendent bark I needed and he wasn't gonna sell it for anything else."

"A shame the Ever After doesn't have the luminous rectangles. I would've enjoyed recording that."

"It's called a scroll, and you aren't recording jack!" Jaune crossed his arms and walked off, saying goodbye to Nora and Ciel as he did. He made his way to the portal located in the room designated for it. A quick swipe of the runestone and he was back in the portal room at his castle. He definitely needed to make sure to keep the runestones close. It was the only way to use the portals. Only team RWBY had copies so far and they were keeping them under lock and key.

It took him over 12 hours - the whole afternoon until 6 am the next morning - until to gather the required materials, and that was him getting lucky with Jinxy only asking for a hug this time (apparently they were very valuable in the Ever After). That wasn't to say it was easy, of course. He had to kill the Jabberwalker twice for shadow skin, go through a punderstorm for truth essence, then beat the Red Prince in a game of chess (then run away when the sore loser tried to have him executed) for perfection porcelain.

By the time he got back, Jaune was haggard and covered in substances that shall not be named while Curious' face was knotted in distaste, "Every time we return there I'm reminded of why I was so eager to leave," his friend's voice was dry enough to peel paint, "I certainly hope this human girl you're so affectionate with is worth all this trouble."

"Ruby's great. Just wants to be a Huntress to help people."

"Hm, is this what people in this world regard as courtship rituals?"

"Wh-What?" Jaune's face flushed slightly and he laughed, "Come on, Curious, it's not like that. Ruby's just a friend!"

"And what about the rest of that team? The girl with the cat ears, the ice princess, and the fire woman?"

"They're friends too." He shook his hands to wipe away some of the gunk clinging to his fingers, "Don't make it weird, man."

"Perhaps one day I'll tell you the story of the Oblivious Prince." The Afteran sighed and hopped off his shoulder before Jaune could respond. Jaune shook his head and walked over to the runic table. Whatever, Curious was always making comments like that. He focused on creating the Infininty rune. Once he was done, all they had to do was bond it to Crescent Rose. The bonding would be permanent, so no need to worry about someone else stealing it.

It took him almost six hours to get everything right. One mistake and the materials would've been wasted and he'd have to gather them up all over again. Every step had to be checked and double checked. By the time he was done, his scroll had 11:56 on the screen. Lunchtime at Beacon. Perfect.

Jaune pocketed the runestone and walked through the Beacon portal with a skip in his step. The students were already in the dining hall. Another thing he was proud of. He still wasn't sure who the jerks were who ruined that place (and the highway and the docks), but it gave him a chance to do some redecorating. People seemed to like it too, especially the Ruby statue. That was one a spur of the moment addition. He needed something to fill the center.

He stepped inside and bumped into a big, burly guy wearing armor. He didn't know his name, but he glared down at Jaune like he spat in his Pumpkin Pete's, "Watch where you're going, civvie."

"Hey, you bumped into me." Jaune walked past him and made his way to Ruby's table.

Team RWBY and Team PNCR were already seated. Ruby looked up when he approached and waved, "Hey, Jaune! I got you a tray!" She gestured to a tray full of eggs, bacon, and french fries next to her. For some reason, Blake and Weiss frowned, "Where've you been?"

"Just making something," he said, holding back a grin.

"Would it have something to do with those Knights we've seen wandering around?" Weiss asked.

"No, that's another thing. I made something different." He held up the runestone towards Ruby. She looked confused for a second before her eyes widened and she gasped, both hands covering her mouth, "I did it, Ruby. Infinity! Let's put it on Crescent Rose when you finish eating!"

For a second, the entire table was quiet. And then Ruby squealed loud enough to almost hurt his ears. Jaune was almost forced off his feet as his new bestie jumped into him with her arms wrapped around his neck in a tight embrace. He hugged her back automatically while trying to make sure he kept the runestone from falling, "Jaune! Thank you, thank you, thank you~!" Her legs swung up and down, which made keeping his balance even harder.

"Y-You're welcome!" He laughed and set her down. He offered her the runestone again and she took it carefully, making sure to hold it gently like it could shatter at any second, "Remember, once you bond it to a weapon, it's permanent."

"That's not a problem! Crescent Rose is my forever weapon!" Ruby bounced on the balls of her feet, looking down at the circular stone with awe, "Jaune...this is amazing. If you ever need anything - anything - don't ever hesitate to tell me, okay?"

"I'll be sure to-"

"And I mean ANYTHING." She leaned forward, eyes wide and face just inches away from his, "Don't even think about if it's something I won't do, cause I'll do it! Anything! No matter how weird or d-dirty it is, I can-"

"Okay, let's dial it back a bit sis." Yang grabbed Ruby's collar and tugged her back. Ruby yelped and struggled while Yang manhandled her with one hand, "We're still public here. Let's keep it PG-13."

"Haha, I'm glad you like it." Jaune grinned. Seeing Ruby smile so sincerely was worth all that work.

"That was very...generous of you, Jaune," Weiss said. Her smile didn't quite reach her eyes, "I'm sure Ruby appreciates it, though I can't help but wonder if some other people might've benefited from such a beneficial upgrade."

"Yeah, maybe." Jaune shrugged noncomittaly. That Coco girl probably saw all that, but he didn't really think about that now. She was just some stranger expecting things from someone she didn't even know, "But I've seen Ruby work. She can do a lot of good with Infinity. Lot of bang for your buck."

"Indeed, though force isn't the only factor when it comes to combat. Versatility and grace, I'd argue, is far more beneficial."

"Your green eyes are showing there, Weiss Cream." Yang snorted.

"My eyes are crystal blue, thank you very much!" Weiss glared at her.

"Ammunition that never runs out," Ciel muttered, "The Atlas military and Specialists could benefit heavily from such an upgrade."

"Yeah, well, it's not exactly something I can mass produce. This one's special." He sat next to Ruby and pulled the offered tray close, "Besides, doesn't seem like Atlas needs any help. They've already got the best tech in Remnant."

"Exactly. Atlas, the SDC...all of them hoarding technology and benefits," Blake said, "Meanwhile, other people have to make do with whatever they can get. Doesn't seem fair, does it?" She sighed sadly.

"Yeah, it isn't." Jaune nodded sympathetically. She was right there.

"And yet that technology means it can do the most good if led properly."

"While everyone else just has to wait. Typical." Blake rolled her eyes.

"You-"

"Rrgh, stop arguing! You're ruining the mood!" Ruby slapped both hands on the table, "Jaune just got me the most amazing present ever, you two aren't gonna ruin it!"

"We're not-"

"She started-"

"That was a very kind gesture, Jaune," Pyrrha said, cutting off both Blake and Weiss, "I'm sure Ruby will be an even better Huntress with your help."

"Here's hoping." Jaune nodded again. Maybe she'd get a chance to prove it sooner rather than later.

Nurse Jaune 3

Patreon note. Minecraft Jaune and Nurse Jaune won the polls. I'm writing them at the same time and this came out first cause it was shorter. Plus easier to write.

This may be the last chapter. Not sure where to go from here. Only one missing is Neo, and I think that might be a retread of the Emerald thing where she uses illusions then gets shot in the ass by Jaune.

[line break]

Jaune was just settling in to review his notes from the Cinder situation (which he still didn't understand and was pretty sure he never would) when someone knocked on his door. He looked up to see a woman in a crisp military uniform standing in the doorway. She had snow white, almost silvery, hair pulled back in a severe bun and the kind of posture that screamed "I could break you in half but I'm too polite to mention it." Reminded him of Professor Goodwitch.

More importantly, she looked exactly like Weiss, just older and somehow even more intimidating, "Mr. Arc?" she said in a voice that was cultured and precise but thankfully not condescending, "I'm Winter Schnee. I believe you've met my younger sister?" The name and the family resemblance immediately put Jaune on high alert. He tensed up, waiting for her to start making threats about his family's farm or demanding to speak to Ozpin about his "unprofessional conduct" or whatever rich-person complaint she'd come up with. Winter looked like prime Atlesian. He could pracitcally feel the "I'm better than you" aura emanating from her.

Instead, Winter just smiled politely - a real smile, not the brittle, fake thing Weiss had - and held up a small basket, "I came to apologize for Weiss's behavior before," she said, "I also brought tea and cookies, if you have a moment to spare. Think of it as an apology fift."

Jaune blinked, completely thrown off by the unexpected civility. After the morning he'd had, someone offering him food and apologies instead of bribes and threats felt like some kind of miracle, "Uh," he said intelligently before shaking his head, "Sure. I mean, yes. Come in."

Winter settled herself in the chair across from his desk with the same fluid grace Weiss but without any of the underlying tension. Every inch of movement was smooth. Controlled. She unpacked the basket with efficient movements, producing an actual tea service - like, with a real teapot and matching decorated cups - and a plate of what looked like honest-to-god homemade cookies. Snickerdoodles, of all things. Last thing he expected from an elite Atlas Huntress.

"I hope you don't mind Atlas Grey," she said, pouring the tea without a single drop out of place, "It's Weiss' favorite, though I suspect she gets that from our mother."

The tea was actually really good, and the cookies were even better. Jaune found himself relaxing despite his earlier worries. Winter wasn't exactly warm - she had that same controlled, proper demeanor that seemed to run in the Schnee family - but she wasn't threatening to ruin his life either, which was honestly a nice change of pace.

"I want you to know that Weiss's behavior during her meeting was completely unacceptable," Winter continued, her tone becoming more serious, "I taught her better than that. Threatening people and attempting bribery is not the Schnee way, regardless of what our father might have taught her during my absence." She took a delicate sip of her tea.

Jaune nodded along, taking a sip of his own tea. It made sense, actually. Winter's military uniform suggested she was probably big on discipline and proper conduct. Atlas soldiers were (in)famous across Remnant for being huge sticks in the mud. That and being literally the only standing army after everyone agreed to demilitarize after the Great War. No idea how that worked. He was never really big on history. A C+ was the highest score he ever got. Mom still framed it on the fridge.

"She's normally not like that," Winter said, and there was something almost apologetic in her voice, "Weiss can be... challenging, but she's not usually so childish. I think being away from home for the first time has been more difficult for her than she wants to admit. She's gotten freedom in Vale that she never had back in Atlas and I believe she's acting out. Teenage rebellion." She rolled her eyes, "I'm happy that she's expressing herself more, but that's no reason for her to act like a brat."

"It's fine," Jaune said, surprising himself by actually meaning it. The cookies were helping. It was hard to stay mad at someone's family when they brought you really good cookies, "I mean, it wasn't great, but I've dealt with worse..."

Winter raised an eyebrow, "Worse than attempted bribery and vague threats against your family's livelihood?"

"You'd be surprised," Jaune said dryly, thinking about Blake's conspiracy theories and Nora's dramatic wailing performance. Then there was whatever the hell Cinder's deal was, "Your sister was actually pretty tame compared to some of the others." At least she could be intimidated by calling Goodwitch and Ozpin.

"I see." Winter looked like she wasn't sure whether to be relieved or concerned about that statement, "Still, her behavior reflected poorly on our family name. The Schnees are supposed to stand for more than throwing money at problems or making empty threats." She paused, studying Jaune with those sharp blue eyes that were so similar to Weiss's but somehow less hostile, "I understand she also made some disparaging comments about your family's profession?"

Jaune shrugged, "Not really. She had no idea what my family did. She was surprised when she found out I was a farmer's kid from the countryside."

Winter's lips twitched in what might have been the beginning of a smile, "Yes, I imagine threatening a farming family with agricultural market manipulation would be rather ineffective. Weiss sometimes forgets that not everyone operates in the same social circles we do."

They chatted for a while about Weiss, Atlas military protocol, and the logistics of Atlas artificial farmland. Jaune was actually starting to think this was turning out to be a pleasant break from his day of medical chaos. Winter was smart, polite, and hadn't once threatened to ruin his life or challenged him to ritualistic combat like that Arslan chick. It was like finding an oasis in a desert of teenage insanity. A mature woman who knew better than the teenage brats.

Then his scroll buzzed with a message from Ozpin.

Jaune glanced down at it absently, then felt his blood turn to ice water in his veins.

"Mr. Arc - Specialist Schnee hasn't received her mandatory vaccinations yet. General Ironwood mentioned you should administer them if you encounter her during her visit. - O"

A cold sweat broke out down Jaune's spine as the reality of his situation crashed over him like a Nevermore dive-bombing a picnic. He wasn't just chatting with Winter Schnee, concerned older sister. He was chatting with Specialist Winter Schnee. An Atlesian military operative. Who needed a shot.

A shot that he was going to have to give her. With a needle. But hey, Winter's been totally reasonable so far, right? Maybe she'd be like Ren, all calm and stoic about medical procedures (cause he lobotomized himself, but hey). Or like that Mercury guy who compared taking a shot to child abuse. Surely, a trained military Specialist would handle a simple vaccination with professionalism and maturity.

...Right?

"So, uh," Jaune said, trying to sound as casual as possible while his internal panic sirens were blaring at maximum volume, "I just got a message from Headmaster Ozpin. Apparently I'm supposed to give you a vaccination while you're her?"

Winter's teacup froze halfway to her lips. Her entire body went rigid, and when she looked at him, there was a sudden intensity in her blue eyes that made Jaune feel like a mouse that had just noticed it was having tea with a very polite Nevermore, "I'm sorry," she said, her voice still perfectly controlled but with an underlying edge that could have cut glass, "Could you repeat that? I think I misheard you."

The feeling of dread in Jaune's stomach grew from a small, manageable knot into something the size and weight of a Goliath,"You... need to take your vaccination shot," he said slowly, hoping against hope that she'd still be normal about this. She'd spent the whole hour talking about how Weiss should've been more mature about the whole thing! "That shouldn't be a problem... right?"

Winter carefully, deliberately, set down her teacup with the kind of precision that suggested she was using every ounce of her military training to maintain control. Then she smiled. It was the same pleasant, polite smile she'd been wearing all afternoon, but somehow it transformed into something that belonged in a horror movie. The kind of smile that said "I'm about to do terrible things to you, but I'm going to be very civilized about it."

"Mr. Arc," she said in that same perfectly modulated voice, "I want you to understand something very clearly. As a Specialist in the Atlesian military, I have access to resources and authority that most people can only imagine. I could have you disappeared into the deepest, darkest prison pit that Atlas has to offer. And I could do it without a trial, without paperwork, and without anyone ever finding out what happened to you."

"Uh...what?" Jaune choked.

She leaned forward slightly, her smile never wavering, "Your family would never see you again. They would never know what happened to you. You would simply... vanish. Do you understand what I'm telling you or do I need to be less subtle?"

Jaune stared at her, feeling like his soul was trying to evacuate his body and go straight to heaven. The pleasant, apologetic older sister was gone, replaced by a highly trained government operative who was calmly explaining how she could make him disappear forever. Because she refused to take her shots.

He almost felt like crying. The apple really didn't fall far from the tree. The only difference between the Schnee sisters was that Weiss threatened him with economic warfare while Winter casually described committing kidnapping and murder like she was discussing the weather, "I... I understand," he managed to croak out, his voice about three octaves higher than normal.

"Good," Winter said brightly, her smile becoming even more terrifying in its pleasantness, "I'm so glad we could have this conversation. Now, about that vaccination..."

Jaune was about to just give up right then and there, maybe start drafting his will and picking out a nice spot for his inevitable unmarked grave. Then his scroll buzzed again with another message from Ozpin.

"General Ironwood's number: 43012 - ATLAS COMMAND. Call if needed."

It was like finding a life preserver while drowning in an ocean of Schnee-related death threats. With the desperate speed of someone whose life literally depended on it, Jaune typed in the number and hit the video call button just as Winter stood up from her chair, already radiating the smug satisfaction of someone who was absolutely certain she'd won.

She was almost to the door, probably mentally composing her plans for his mysterious disappearance, when the call went through.

A severe-looking man with graying hair appeared on the screen, his expression all business and military authority. He had the face of someone who could make Grimm turn around and cry for mommy, "This is General Ironwood. Who am I speaking with?"

Winter froze in the doorway like someone had hit her with an ice Dust round, "Um, this is Jaune Arc, sir," Jaune stammered, trying to keep his voice steady, "I'm the nurse at Beacon Academy. Specialist Schnee is refusing to take her mandatory vaccination shot."

He tilted the scroll so the screen was facing Winter, and the transformation was immediate and devastating. All the cold menace, the casual threats of imprisonment and murder, the terrifying government operative persona? Gone without a trace. Winter Schnee, the woman who just calmly described how she could make him disappear into an Atlesian dungeon without a trace, suddenly looked like a a kid who'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"Specialist Schnee," Ironwood's voice carried the kind of authority that could make grown men confess to crimes they didn't commit, "Is this true?"

Winter's face went through several different expressions: panic, calculation, resignation, and finally a desperate attempt at innocence that fooled absolutely nobody, "Of course not, sir!" she said, her voice pitched just a little too high to be convincing, "It was simply a misunderstanding! I was just... clarifying the proper procedures! You know how important it is to follow protocol!"

Ironwood's expression suggested he was buying exactly none of this, "I see. And you're prepared to receive your vaccination now? Right in front of me?"

"Absolutely, sir! Right away, sir!" Winter spun around and marched back to the chair with the rigid posture of someone who was trying very hard to salvage what remained of her dignity. She rolled up her right sleeve with sharp, efficient movements and thrust out a pale, surprisingly muscular arm like she was surrendering it for amputation, "Ready," she said through gritted teeth, not making eye contact with either Jaune or the scroll screen.

Jaune was too relieved and terrified to do anything but grab a syringe and get to work as quickly as possible. The moment the needle touched her skin, Winter's face scrunched up like he was performing emergency surgery with a rusty spoon and no anesthesia. Her whole body went rigid, every muscle tensed like she was trying to turn herself into a statue through sheer willpower. She clenched her hand and Jaune eyed the muscles along her wrist. She could probably squeeze his head like a grape.

She didn't make a sound - probably too proud to let the General hear her cry over a simple medical procedure - but Jaune could see her jaw clenching hard enough to crack teeth. A tiny bead of sweat dripped down her forehead, and her free hand gripped the edge of the chair like she was trying to crush it into powder.

When he finally pulled the needle out and applied the band-aid, Winter sat there for a moment, breathing like she'd just run a marathon. Then she looked directly at him, and despite her professional composure, the message in her eyes was crystal clear, 'You are dead,' she mouthed silently, making sure the camera couldn't see her lips moving, 'They will never find your body.'

Jaune felt his soul try to evacuate his body again. Maybe Vacuo would be far enough to run. He could change his name, dye his hair, take up a nice, safe career like professional Grimm wrestling or bomb disposal. He'd call himself Felipe.

"Excellent work, Specialist," Ironwood said from the scroll, apparently oblivious to the death threats being exchanged right in front of him, "I'll expect your mission report by 0800 tomorrow."

"Yes, sir," Winter replied, her voice perfectly professional despite the fact that she was still staring at Jaune like she was planning his funeral arrangements. Jaune made sure to keep the scroll pointed at her as she walked out of the room. And get some cameras. And maybe write a note saying he wasn't suicidal in case she had him disappeared.

[line break]

The next day found Jaune in a state of perpetual cold sweat that had nothing to do with the weather. Most of the students had already been vaccinated through a combination of psychological warfare, bribery, blackmail, and tranquilizer darts. Which meant it was time to move on to the teaching staff.

Including Professor Goodwitch.

Under normal circumstances, Glynda Goodwitch was already one of the most intimidating people at Beacon Academy. She had this way of looking at you that made you feel like she could see every poor life decision you'd ever made and was personally disappointed in all of them. Her Semblance let her move objects with her mind, she carried a riding crop like it was a weapon of mass destruction, and she had the kind of authoritative presence that made grown Huntsmen stand up straighter and apologize for things they hadn't even done yet. He'd personally seen her lift buildings (PLURAL) with the same amount of effort it took people to lift empty cardboard boxes.

...And now Jaune was essentially painting a target on his back and asking one of the most powerful people at the school to let him stab her with a needle.

A few days ago, he might have thought she'd be professional about the whole thing. After all, she was an adult, a trained Huntress, and (supposedly) a rational human being who understood the importance of proper medical care. But the past couple of days had taught him that absolutely nothing was sacred when it came to people and their phobias about needles. He'd watched a girl who could punch through concrete faint at the sight of a syringe and an Atlesian Specialist threaten to disappear him into a military prison over a vaccination.

He was still looking over his shoulder for Winter Schnee with a black bag and a one-way ticket to an Atlas dungeon.

When Professor Goodwitch arrived at his office, the tension in the room became so thick you could have cut it with Yang's gauntlets. She moved with her usual precision, but there was something different about her. A kind of coiled readiness that made Jaune think of a very polite predator sizing up its prey. She sat down in the chair across from his desk, crossed her legs, and fixed him with those sharp green eyes that seemed to pierce straight through to his soul.

Don't stare, don't stare, don't stare, Jaune reminded himself frantically, trying to keep his eyes focused on her face and definitely not on anything else. The last thing he needed was to add "inappropriate staring" to his growing list of reasons why the Beacon faculty might want him dead, "Mr. Arc," Professor Goodwitch said, her voice carrying that same crisp authority it always did but with an undertone of warning that made his spine prickle with fear, "Before we proceed, I want to ask you something."

Jaune swallowed hard, "Yes, ma'am?"

She leaned forward slightly, her gaze never wavering from his face, "Are you absolutely certain you want to do this?" The question hung in the air between them like a loaded weapon. There was something in her tone. Not quite a threat, but definitely a warning. Like she was giving him one last chance to reconsider before he did something that would fundamentally change their professional relationship, "I'm asking for your sake, not mine."

Jaune felt his mouth go dry. That was definitely a threat. A polite, professionally delivered threat, but a threat nonetheless. He was starting to understand why Ozpin looked so relieved when Jaune took the job of being the nurse all those months ago. The Headmaster knew exactly what kind of fresh hell he was signing up for and didn't warn him. Bastard.

The next half hour was possibly the most tense thirty minutes of Jaune's entire life, and that was including the time Yang walked into the office while still on fire after combat practice. Professor Goodwitch never raised her voice, never made threats of disappearing him like Winter, but somehow managed to make every word sound like a promise of professional destruction.

"This is part of your job responsibilities," Jaune said, attempting to sound more confident than he felt.

"My job responsibilities," Goodwitch replied coolly, "Include supervising your performance and conducting your employee reviews. I'd hate for this interaction to color my assessment of your... professionalism."

Okay, that was definitely a threat'

"It'll be quick," he tried again, gesturing to the syringe, "Two seconds, tops."

"Mr. Arc, do you know how many disciplinary reports cross my desk in a given week?" she asked, adjusting her glasses with the kind of precision that suggested she was imagining adjusting his neck instead, "There are dozens. It would be quite easy for yours to find its way into that pile. And trust me, I'm not one know for my gentle touch. You can ask any student."

"The medical benefits are really important-"

"I'm also in charge of scheduling," she interrupted, not even pretending to listen to his argument, "Night shifts, weekend duties, holiday coverage. There are so many unpleasant assignments that need to be filled and not enough people to do them."

"Professor Goodwitch, this is really just-"

"And let's not forget that I evaluate your housing arrangements. The dorms are quite nice, but there are much less... comfortable accommodations available for staff members who don't meet expectations." She looked around the room.

Jaune tried a different approach, "Ozpin said all faculty members need to-"

"Headmaster Ozpin trusts my judgment implicitly when it comes to personnel matters," she said, her smile sharp enough to cut glass, "I'm sure he'd understand if certain staff members were found to be... unsuitable for their positions."

"But the health regulations clearly state that-"

"Mr. Arc," she said, leaning back in her chair with the confidence of someone who held all the cards, "I have tenure. You have a temporary contract that comes up for renewal every semester. Do you really want to test which one of us has more job security?"

She had all the power here, and she wasn't shy about using it. Every argument he made, every regulation he cited, every appeal to reason or policy; she shut them all down with the ruthless efficiency of someone who'd been destroying students' hopes and dreams for decades. It didn't matter what he said. Appealing to her professionalism, threats about calling Ozpin, just flat out begging. Nothing changed. The only reason she didn't walk out right now was to humor him.

Jaune was running out of options, and they both knew it.

Time to go for the big guns.

He pulled out his scroll and hit a number on his speed dial. Goodwitch raised an eyebrow, clearly thinking that nothing he could possibly do would change her mind. She probably figured he was calling Ozpin, or maybe trying to get backup from another teacher. Her expression was smug and confident, almost amused by his desperation.

Then Professor Port walked through the door.

The look in Professor Goodwitch's face would've been held up in the hall of fame. The cool confidence vanished, replaced by something that looked suspiciously like horror, "Ah, Glynda!" Port boomed, his voice filling the small infirmary like a cheerful avalanche, "Young Arc here said you needed some company during your medical appointment! Splendid! This reminds me of the time I was getting treated for a Beowolf bite back in my younger days..."

Jaune quickly grabbed a book and sat down to read, letting the professor's droning calm him down. Unlike literally everyone else in school, he thought Port's stories were really calming. A nice change of pace from the threats and bribes and non-stop wailing. He and Professor Goodwitch locked eyes across the desk, and the message was crystal clear: This doesn't stop until you take the shot.

"...of course, that was nothing compared to the King Taijitu incident of '57," Port continued, completely oblivious (or not caring) to the psychological warfare taking place in front of him, "You see, I was still a young lad tracking this particularly large specimen through the forests of eastern Vale when suddenly..."

Professor Goodwitch's left eye started twitching.

"...which naturally reminds me of my encounter with the Nuckelavee near the village of Kuroyuri. Fascinating creatures, really, though quite dangerous if you don't know the proper techniques for..."

Thirty minutes in, Professor Goodwitch was gripping the arms of her chair hard enough to leave fingerprints in the metal. She could've walked out, but that would only delay the inevitable. Eventually, he'd call her back and do this again. And again. And again. And if she fired him then she'd tell the next Nurse to do it too.

"...but that's nothing compared to my experiences with the Grimm of Solitas. Did I ever tell you about the time I fought three Geists simultaneously while suffering from altitude sickness and a severe case of..."

An hour in, her left eye had developed a noticeable tic, and she was staring at Jaune with the kind of hatred usually reserved for war criminals.

"...which brings me to my most harrowing adventure yet: the Great Beringel Migration of 3079. Picture, if you will, a wall of darkness and fury stretching from the edge ot the horizon..."

Two hours. Two full hours of Professor Port's rambling, meandering stories about Grimm encounters, hunting techniques, and an uncomfortably detailed account of his digestive issues during a particularly challenging expedition. The man had somehow managed to connect every single story to at least three other stories, creating an endless loop of academic torture that showed no signs of stopping. It was like an Ouroborosof boredom.

"And then that King Taijitu bit me right in the posterior!" He slapped his rump for good measure, "It happened right after my Aura sputtered out too! Left a rather fashing scar on the right cheek! I could show you if-"

Finally, finally, Professor Goodwitch cracked, "FINE!" she shrieked, thrusting her arm out toward Jaune with wild, (somehow) bloodshot eyes, "JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN SHOT!"

Port paused mid-sentence, looking genuinely surprised, "Oh my, was I interrupting something important? I do apologize-"

"GET OUT!" Goodwitch shrieked, pointing toward the door with her free hand while still offering her arm for injection, "GET OUT RIGHT NOW!"

Port looked a bit hurt but nodded and headed for the exit, "Well, I suppose I should check on my classroom anyway. Do let me know if you'd like to hear the rest of the Beringel story, Glynda!"

The moment he was gone, Jaune quickly administered the injection while Goodwitch sat there trembling with rage and what might have been mild psychological trauma, "I will remember this," she whispered, her voice hoarse from screaming, "I will remember this for the rest of my career. Your employee review is going to be a masterpiece of creative destruction."

Jaune nodded absently as he applied the band-aid. At this point, getting fired was honestly the least of his problems. He was pretty sure Winter Schnee was still planning his mysterious disappearance, and now he'd just made an enemy of the most vindictive teacher at Beacon Academy.

Maybe it was time to pick up the family farm again. Being a farmer didn't sound so bad right now. Maybe date a nice Faunus girl.

[line break]

Omake: The Amber Incident

Jaune thought that future Huntsmen refusing to take their shots would be the absolute worst part of his job.

He was wrong. So very, very wrong.

He was just about to lock up for the day, mentally preparing himself for whatever fresh hell tomorrow would bring, when a woman he'd never seen before suddenly burst through his door like she was running from a horde of Grimm. She didn't look like a student. Dark skin, brown hair, and an outfit that looked...slapdash at best. She looked like she'd rolled out of bed and put on whatever she could grab.

"I need a vaccine!" she shouted breathlessly, her brown eyes wild and unfocused, "Right now!"

Jaune blinked, checking his list for the hundredth time that day. Her picture definitely wasn't on it, but also... she was actually asking for a vaccination. Voluntarily. Without threats, bribes, elaborate conspiracy theories, promises of revenge. After the week he'd had, someone actually wanting medical treatment seemed almost too good to be true.

"Uh, sure," he said, reaching for his supplies, "I don't think you're on my list, but if you want a vaccine, that's totally fine. What's your name?"

"Amber," the woman said, and there was something manic in her voice that made Jaune's instincts start screaming danger signals, "And I don't just want a vaccine." Before Jaune could ask what she meant by that, Amber lunged forward and grabbed his entire container of vaccines- needles, syringes, vials, the whole setup and clutched it to her chest like it was the holy grail,"I'm taking ALL of them!" she said, already backing up to the door.

"Wait, what-" Jaune started, but she was already running, turning around and slamming the door behind her, "Those are for everyone!" he shouted, grabbing Port's tranquilizer rifle from where he'd left it after the Emerald Incident™. He took off after her, his medical training warring with his growing sense that this situation had gone completely off the rails.

"I was attacked by Cinder for being weak!" Amber screamed over her shoulder as she sprinted down the hallway, somehow managing to prepare a syringe like a professional while running at full speed, "I'll never be weak again!"

And then, to Jaune's absolute horror, she jabbed the needle directly into her own arm without even slowing down,"That's not how vaccines work!" he yelled, raising the tranquilizer gun and taking aim. But his shot went wide as Amber suddenly veered left, somehow anticipating exactly where he was going to fire.

"I'll be stronger!" she shouted again, pulling out another syringe and stabbing it into her other arm, "I'll be faster! I'll be INVINCIBLE!" Jaune fired again and the shot missed as a sudden gust of wind appeared out of nowhere and deflect the dart. Which was weird, because they were indoors and all the windows were closed, "I'LL BE A LIVING GOD!" Amber shrieked, now juggling multiple syringes and somehow managing to inject herself with all of them without slowing down. On the contrary, she was getting FASTER.

Every shot Jaune took seemed to get knocked off course by inexplicable bursts of air that came from absolutely nowhere. It was like the atmosphere itself was protecting her, which made no sense. But then again, nothing about this week made sense.

When they reached the main courtyard, things went from bizarre to absolutely impossible. Amber, still clutching half a dozen empty syringes and screaming about godhood, suddenly just... started flying. Not jumping really high, not using some kind of Dust-powered device. Flying. Like gravity was more of a suggestion than a law of physics, "I AM POWER INCARNATE!" she bellowed from about thirty feet up, still somehow managing to inject herself with the remaining vaccines while hovering in mid-air like some kind of deranged medical angel.

Jaune stood in the courtyard, watching this insane woman fly away into the sunset while pumping herself full of every vaccine Beacon had in stock, and felt his last thread of sanity finally snap. He looked down at the tranquilizer rifle in his hands, slowly raised it until the barrel was pointing at his own jaw, and pulled the trigger.

Click.

Empty. Of course it was empty.

"Damn it," he muttered, watching Amber disappear over the treeline while still screaming about her newfound godhood.

He was definitely updating his resume tonight.

What do you guys want next? I’ve gotten different requests

Mister and Missus Arc-Schnee - Chapter 4

Last main chapter according to the commissioner. Might post one last epilogue thing if he wants it.

[line break]

Weiss examined her reflection in the full-length mirror for what had to be the fifteenth time that evening, turning slightly to observe how the fabric moved with her body. The dress was absolutely perfect: white silk that flowed like liquid silver with subtle blue accents that perfectly complemented her eyes and brought out the pale glow of her hair. The cut was elegant without being ostentatious, sophisticated without being overly mature for a school function. Completing the set was a tasteful sapphire necklace (that once belonged to her mother) that drew attention to the nape of her neck and sharp heels that added a sense of maturity despite her younger age.

She'd splurged quite considerably to find this particular ensemble. Back when she'd actually been a teenager all those years back, such an expense would've consumed her entire monthly allowance and then some. Jacques would've been furious with her. Now, with access to both her inheritance and her position as co-CEO of the Schnee Dust Company, it was barely a drop in the bucket. The irony wasn't lost on her. She possessed the resources to afford anything she wanted without limits and yet she rarely had the chance to use them for purely personal indulgences.

It was still profoundly odd to think about their current situation. Salem remained out there lurking the Grimmlands, undoubtedly plotting her next move. But for now - for this brief, precious interval - they actually had time to breathe. The sensation of going to sleep at night without immediately calculating threat assessments and contingency plans was so foreign that Weiss sometimes found herself lying awake anyway, simply because the absence of constant vigilance felt wrong. Even before she arrived at Beacon, she spent every night making plans. Plans for the SDC, plans for team RWBY, and (much as she refused to admit it) plans for Jaune.

But now the immediate threats had been neutralized. Cinder was dead (with her lackeys imprisoned), Adam was dead, Raven was in a cell, Torchwick was in custody, and Lionheart had been exposed and arrested. They'd bought themselves precious time, perhaps years, to prepare for whatever came next.

But tonight, she was determined to embrace this temporary respite. The dress was a statement of that determination, a declaration that they had carved out enough breathing room safety to indulge in normal teenage activities like school dances and formal wear.

This was purely practical, of course. She'd selected the ensemble solely to maintain her reputation and social standing. The fact that she'd chosen white to complement her natural coloring, or that the blue accents matched her eyes perfectly, or that the silhouette emphasized her figure in all the right ways? It was simply matters of good taste and strategic presentation.

Jaune wasn't a factor in her decision-making process in the least.

She was just putting on her silk gloves when Jaune's voice filtered through the door, "Weiss? Are you almost done in there? I think we're going to be late if we don't leave soon."

"Just a moment," she called back, taking one final look at her reflection. Everything was perfect. Hair arranged in an elegant updo that showcased the graceful line of her neck, lipstick and dark blue eyeshadow applied with subtle precision that enhanced her natural features without appearing overdone, and her dress fitted to perfection.

She opened the door and immediately had to work to keep her expression very carefully neutral.

Jaune stood in the hallway wearing a crisp white suit that complemented her own color scheme beautifully. But more than that, he'd clearly put considerable effort into his appearance tonight. His usually shaggy hair had been styled into something far more sophisticated, the blonde locks slipped back rather than falling in front of his face. It was still recognizably him, but refined in a way that emphasized the strong line of his jaw and made his blue eyes seem brighter. He'd even added a yellow boutonniere as a personal touch, the small flower somehow managing to look both elegant and charmingly personal.

The overall effect was... striking. Where the teenage Jaune she'd first met at Beacon had been gangly and awkward - and not to mention he'd worn that garish dress and sneakers - the man standing before her now carried himself with the quiet confidence of someone who had faced down monsters and emerged victorious. The suit fit him perfectly, emphasizing the breadth of his shoulders and the lean strength he'd developed through years of combat training. He wasn't as big as he'd been as a full adult, but this version of him was...charming, in a way.

She admitted, internally and with great reluctance, that he cut a rather dashing figure.

"You look..." Jaune began, then seemed to lose his words as he took in her appearance. His gaze traveled from her carefully styled hair down to her delicate heels and back up again, and Weiss felt a familiar (and, as she told herself, unwelcome) flutter of satisfaction at his obvious appreciation.

"Adequate?" she said, though she could feel a pleased flush warming her cheeks.

"Beautiful," he said simply, and the sincerity in his voice caught her off guard, "You look absolutely beautiful, Weiss."

For a moment, they stood there in the hallway, and Weiss was transported back to another time, another life. How many formal events had they attended together during their marriage? Corporate galas, diplomatic receptions, charity fundraisers. All the tedious but necessary social obligations that came with their respective positions. In the beginning, she'd loved those events. Loved having Jaune by her side, loved the way he'd make her laugh during boring speeches, loved how he'd dance with her even when the music was terrible.

But later, as his Huntsman duties had demanded more and more of his time, she found herself attending those same events alone. Standing in elegant ballrooms surrounded by people, feeling more isolated than she ever had in her childhood. It was one reason she grew more and more frustrated. After a while, it felt almost like he was deliberately choosing missions to avoid going with her. Once she'd brushed it off, three times she still tried to think the best of him, but half a dozen times straight? She was smart enough to see the patterns.

But that was then. This was now. Not a date, she told herself again. Just her keeping Amber safe from his clutches. Weiss offered him her hand with practiced grace, the gesture as automatic as breathing after years of formal training, "Shall we?"

Jaune took her offered hand, his calloused fingers warm and large against her silk gloves. She pushed that thought aside as they began walking toward the main hall, joining the stream of other students making their way to the dance. Tonight wasn't about their past mistakes or the relationship that had ultimately failed. It was about maintaining appearances, preventing Amber from making an emotional mistake she'd regret, and ensuring that if they were going to attend a school function together, they they'd at least look appropriately coordinated.

The fact that Jaune's presence at her side felt both familiar and oddly comforting was entirely beside the point.

As they approached the decorated entrance to the main hall, Weiss caught sight of their reflection in one of the tall windows. They looked good together, perfectly matched in their white formal wear, moving with the synchronized grace of partners who'd done this many times before. Hopefully, the evening wouldn't be a complete disaster. With their track record for public appearances involving minimal bloodshed and maximum interpersonal drama, she wasn't entirely optimistic about their chances. Knowing their luck, the White Fang would somehow sneak inside a dozen suicide bombers.

She shook her head. Just for tonight, she was willing to suspend her usual pessimism and simply enjoy the rare opportunity to feel like a normal young woman attending a dance with a...handsome partner.

Even if that partner was her insufferable ex-husband whom she definitely wasn't attracted to anymore.

Definitely not.

[line break]

The main hall had been transformed for the evening, draped in elegant fabric and twinkling lights that cast everything in a warm, golden glow. Tables laden with food and refreshments lined the walls, while the center of the room had been cleared for dancing. It was quite lovely, actually, though Weiss couldn't help but notice how different the atmosphere felt from the formal galas she'd attended in her previous life.

Huntsmen, she thought to herself as she sipped her punch and surveyed the crowd, always carried a certain...primal energy that no amount of formal wear could entirely suppress. Even dressed in their finest suits and gowns, there was something wild and dangerous about them. The way they moved with predatory grace, the unconscious positioning that made it clear they would be willing to fight at a moment's notice, the barely contained power that seemed to vibrate beneath their polished exteriors.

It was oddly exhilarating, being surrounded by so much controlled potential for violence while draped in civilization. By contrast, Atlas parties were a competition in excess. The "nobility" seemed to take pride in their air-headedness and detachment from the problems of their "lessers". Even now, she still remembered that gods awful "charity" gala after the fall of Beacon. Those self-centered snobs who sneered at Vale for falling while they were safe behind Atlas' floating walls.

One of her few regrets was that those same people were now back in their lofty positions in this timeline rather than having been forced to adapt to harsher realities after the fall of Atlas. A small price to pay for the lives of millions, but an irritating one all the same.

Weiss shook her head and went back to observing. Yang was her usual energetic self once again, which Weiss noted with relief. The blonde bounced between conversation groups with infectious enthusiasm, her smile wide and bright. After the revelations about her mother, there'd been a period where the fiery Huntress was unusually subdued. It was good to see her returning to her normal, boisterous personality...even if she was currently engaged in what appeared to be an arm-wrestling contest with several upperclassmen while wearing an evening gown.

Blake and Sun hadn't met in this timeline due to the changes she and Jaune had implemented. The monkey Faunus was currently off with Neptune - Weiss still couldn't believe she'd once harbored a crush on that blue-haired peacock - attempting to "improve" the stage setup with what looked suspiciously like stolen sound equipment from the AV room.

Blake herself was dancing with Ren, of all people. The two of them moved with surprising synchronization to the music in a graceful waltz. Off to the side, Nora was standing at the edge of the dance floor and glaring daggers at Blake while she literally gnashed her teeth in jealous fury. Weiss blinked in surprise. Had those two even spoken to each other in the original timeline? She couldn't recall Blake and Ren ever having so much as a conversation, let alone... whatever this was.

Fascinating how even small changes could ripple outward in unexpected ways.

Jaune was currently engaged in conversation with Pyrrha near the refreshment table, the redhead's face lit up with genuine pleasure as they talked. Weiss felt a slight tinge of... something that was absolutely not jealousy. Simply mild annoyance that her fake date was abandoning her to socialize with other people. If Jaune and Pyrrha ended up rekindling their relationship, that would be perfectly fine. Weiss would simply need to...keep a watchful eye to ensure he didn't repeat his pattern of infidelity.

She couldn't locate Ruby anywhere in the crowd, which was mildly concerning. In the original timeline, the younger girl had snuck out during the dance to investigate strange happenings at the CCT tower and encountered Cinder, just the first part of a chain of events that led to the Fall of Beacon. She wouldn't be doing that tonight - Cinder was a pile of ash, after all - but Ruby's absence was still notable.

Probably off somewhere trying to blend into the wallpaper, Weiss thought. The girl had always been oddly meek for someone who would eventually grow up to steal other people's husbands. Though to be fair, that particular character flaw wouldn't manifest for years yet. It was something she'd have to ensure would never blossom. Perhaps by setting her up with someone. Not Jaune, of course. Perhaps Sun? He was a nice enough young man.

Weiss was just beginning to consider searching for her wayward partner when an all-too-familiar voice rang out behind her.

"Salutations, Friend Weiss!"

'Oh, Brothers preserve me.' Weiss plastered what she hoped was a convincing smile on her face as she turned to find Penny approaching with characteristic enthusiasm. The orange-haired android was flanked on both sides by two hulking Atlas soldiers who looked deeply uncomfortable with their babysitting duties. Probably because their "charge" could have easily dismantled them both with her pinkie fingers if she'd been so inclined.

"Penny," Weiss said with forced cheer, "How lovely to see you."

"You as well!" Penny smiled, her green eyes practically sparkling with excitement, "You look absolutely magnificent this evening! That dress is a perfect complement to your natural coloring, and the cut demonstrates excellent understanding of classical formal wear principles!"

"Thank you, Penny," Weiss replied, her smile beginning to feel strained, "You look lovely as well."

And she did. Someone - probably General Ironwood - had clearly spared no expense on Penny's formal attire. Her dress was an elegant sage green that brought out her eyes, with delicate embroidery that managed to look both simple yet elegeant. There was even fur draped across her shoulders.

"Are you enjoying the dance?" Weiss asked politely.

"It is most fascinating!" Penny said , her green eyes bright with curiosity, "I have been observing the social dynamics and ritual behaviors associated with formal recreational gatherings. Did you know that the average heart rate of attendees increases by approximately fifteen percent when engaged in close-proximity partner dancing? And the correlation between musical tempo and interpersonal physical contact is quite remarkable! I have compiled 37 pages of data already!"

"How... thorough of you," Weiss said, already calculating potential escape routes. Penny's enthusiasm was endearing in small doses, but the android's tendency to treat every social situation as a scientific experiment could be exhausting. Atlas, in its infinite wisdom, of course thought that Penny simply downloading self-help books and checklists from the net would be enough for her to blend in. It was also why she'd unwittingly gotten herself a new best friend.

"I was hoping to conduct some firsthand research," Penny continued, bouncing slightly on her toes, "Perhaps you could assist me in understanding the nuances of friendship-based recreational activities? I have prepared a list of questions about appropriate conversation topics and optimal proximity measurements for platonic physical interaction!" She leaned forward till their noses were almost touching, "I wish to learn everything."

Weiss felt a sense of mounting dread as she realized where this conversation was heading. She could already see it. The other girl dragging her by the hand (how scandalous) as she went down her list of friendship activities.

She was just opening her mouth to attempt a polite deflection when salvation arrived in an unexpected form.

"Mind if I steal my date for a dance?" Jaune appeared at her elbow with perfect timing, offering his arm with the kind of casual gallantry that would have been utterly presumptuous from anyone else. Weiss was too desperate for an escape route to question his motives or consider the implications of accepting.

"I would be delighted," she said perhaps a bit too eagerly, taking his offered arm like a lifeline.

"Oh!" Penny's expression shifted to one of delighted understanding, "You are engaging in traditional paired courtship rituals! How wonderful! I shall observe from a respectful distance and document the behavioral patterns for future reference! Please make sure to drink the spiked punch!"

Weiss winced slightly at the clinical description of what appeared to be a romantic gesture, but allowed Jaune to guide her toward the dance floor before Penny could elaborate further on her research methodology, "Thank you," she murmured as they found a spot among the other couples, "I was beginning to think she'd make me famous for all the wrong reasons."

"Don't mention. You're still my date, after all."

As they began to move to the music, Weiss was struck by how...natural it felt. Familiar. They'd danced together countless times during their marriage. Corporate functions, charity galas, even the occasional quiet evening in their apartment when she'd put on music and they swayed together in the living room without fear of being judged. The familiar rhythm of their movement together was as automatic as breathing, even after everything that happened between them.

For just a moment, she allowed herself to simply enjoy the sensation of being led through the steps by someone who knew exactly how she moved, who could anticipate her turns and support her weight without conscious thought. She almost forgot about...everything and remembered how it all started. How they truly began to bond after he saved her life at Haven. At first, it was simple gratitude. Then they began to spend more time together, especially in Vacuo. He'd been the one to comfort her the most after she lost her home.

And then it all came crashing down.

The music was pleasant enough; a simple waltz that most of the couples around them were managing without embarrassing themselves. Weiss moved through the familiar steps with practiced grace, allowing Jaune to guide their movement across the polished floor. For a few blissful minutes, it was almost like old times, when dancing together had been effortless and natural rather than fraught with the weight of their failed relationship.

Then Jaune had to open his mouth.

"You know," he said, his voice carrying that particular tone of casual observation that always preceded something irritating, "You're still doing that thing where you try to lead from the follow position."

Weiss's spine stiffened, her grip on his shoulder tightening imperceptibly, "Excuse me?"

"It's not a criticism," Jaune continued, apparently oblivious to the danger he was walking into, "It's just... you keep trying to anticipate my moves and adjust before I can actually lead them. You're dancing against me instead of with me."

The audacity was breathtaking. Here she was, moving through the steps with textbook precision while he plodded along like he was marching through mud, and he had the nerve to critique her technique?

"Or perhaps," Weiss said with perfect politeness, "If your leading was more decisive, I wouldn't need to compensate for your poor timing."

"My timing is fine-"

"Hello there!"

Both of them turned to see Amber approaching the edge of the dance floor, her face bright with genuine pleasure at seeing them together. She wore a lovely deep amber dress - how appropriate, Weiss thought - that complemented her coloring beautifully, and she moved with the fluid grace that came naturally to an experienced Maiden.

"Oh," Jaune said, his attention immediately shifting away from Weiss and their conversation, "Hey, Amber! You look great tonight." And there it was. That same warm, appreciative tone he'd once used exclusively for Weiss herself, now directed at another woman with the casual ease of someone who'd already moved on from his failed marriage. The smile that spread across his face was genuinely pleased, his entire posture subtly reorienting toward Amber as if Weiss simply ceased to exist.

Weiss felt something hot and ugly twist in her chest as she watched the interaction unfold, "Thank you!" Amber beamed, twirling slightly to show off her dress, "Professor Goodwitch helped me pick it out. She said formal events were important for 'social integration' and 'maintaining cover identity.'" She giggled at the formal phrasing, "You two look absolutely wonderful together, by the way."

"We're not-" Jaune started automatically, then caught himself with a glance at Weiss, "I mean, thank you. That's very kind."

"I should let you get back to your dance," Amber said, but she lingered for a moment longer, her gaze soft and hopeful as it rested on Jaune, "Save me a dance later?"

"Definitely," Jaune replied without hesitation.

Weiss watched the exchange with growing irritation, her jaw clenching as Amber finally moved away with a little wave. The moment she was out of earshot, Weiss fixed Jaune with a look that could have frozen lava, "How thoughtful of you," she said, her voice dripping with false sweetness thick enough to choke, "To make plans with your admirer right in front of your supposed date."

Jaune's attention snapped back to her, confusion flickering across his features, "What? Amber's just being friendly-"

"Oh, is that what we're calling it?" Weiss's voice rose slightly, drawing glances from nearby couples, "Friendly? The woman was practically batting her eyelashes at you!"

"You're being ridiculous," Jaune said, his own voice taking on that defensive edge that meant they were heading toward very familiar territory, "There's nothing wrong with dancing with other people at a school function."

"Of course there isn't," Weiss agreed with vicious politeness, "But perhaps you could wait until our fake relationship has run its course before you start collecting your next conquest? Some of us have reputations to maintain."

"My next conquest?" Jaune's voice cracked with indignation, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, don't play innocent with me, Jaune Arc," Weiss snapped, her carefully maintained composure finally fracturing, "I know exactly what your pattern is."

"That's not- You can't just- Gods damn it, Weiss, why do you always have to make everything about your paranoid theories?!"

They were drawing attention now. Other couples had begun to give them a wide berth as their voices rose, though most were trying to pretend they weren't listening to every word. In her peripheral vision, Weiss could see Penny frantically scribbling notes, her green eyes wide with fascination, "Paranoid theories?" Weiss's voice went dangerously quiet, "Is that what you call recognizing patterns of behavior?"

"I call it being a jealous ex-wife who can't stand the thought of me moving on! That's what I'm calling it!"

The words hit like a physical blow, all the more devastating because they contained just enough truth to sting. Weiss felt her cheeks flush with anger and embarrassment, her hands clenching into fists at her sides, "How dare you-"

The music changed.

It was subtle at first, the gentle waltz fading into something darker, more intense. A tango filled demanding rhythm and aggressive sensuality. Most of the other couples began to clear the floor (except Ren and Blake, much to Nora's obvious frustration), but Weiss and Jaune remained locked in their furious stare-down, "I am not jealous," Weiss said, her voice low and dangerous, "I'm trying to keep up appearances, something you need to learn a lesson on."

She stepped closer, invading his personal space with deliberate aggression. Her hand slid up his chest to grip the lapel of his jacket, pulling him down until their faces were inches apart.

"What are you-" Jaune began, but she cut him off by spinning away in a dramatic flourish, her skirt flaring around her legs.

"Try to keep up," she commanded, extending one arm in the classic tango position. She couldn't fight him like she did in combat class all those weeks ago, so she could prove her superiority in another way: a dance. He'd always bragged about how he was the best dancer among his entire family.

For a moment, Jaune just stared at her. Then something shifted in his expression, a familiar competitive gleam that she recognized from their sparring matches and their more heated arguments during their marriage, "Oh, you want to play that game?" he said, stepping forward to catch her extended hand, "Fine. But don't blame me when you can't stand the heat, Snow Angel." The old nickname made her heart thump with something she told herself was irritation.

What followed was less a dance than a battle conducted through movement, each trying to dominate the other through sheer force of will and technique. Weiss moved with effortless grace, her body running through the complex steps without a single misstep. But Jaune matched her intensity, his strength allowing him to lift and spin her with force and speed that sent thrills down her spine despite her anger. They never danced like this back when they were married.

They moved across the floor like predators circling each other, the tension between them so thick it was almost visible. When Jaune dipped her low, his face deliberately hovered mere inches from hers, close enough that she could feel his breath against her lips and the smell of peppermint. When she wrapped her leg around his waist in a dramatic high kick, the contact sent electricity shooting through her skin.

"Is this what you wanted?" Jaune growled as he spun her out and then snapped her back against his chest, "To put on a show for everyone?"

"Better than watching you fawn over your next victim," Weiss hissed back, allowing him to guide her into a series of rapid turns that made her skirt flare dramatically around her legs.

"I wasn't fawning-"

"Please. You were practically drooling."

They continued their aggressive dance across the floor, their movements becoming increasingly elaborate and competitive. Weiss created tiny glyphs beneath her feet to enhance her spins, while Jaune used his enhanced strength to lift her higher and hold the poses longer than what was standard even for Huntsmen.

The other students - again, sans Blake and Ren - had completely cleared the floor now, forming a circle around them to watch the show. But Weiss was too caught up in their battle of wills to care about the audience. All that mattered was proving her point, demonstrating her superiority, and making Jaune admit that he couldn't handle her at her best.

When he lifted her into a dramatic overhead hold, she arched backward until her hair nearly touched the floor, displaying a flexibility that made several male students in the audience gulp audibly. When she wrapped both legs around his waist in a move that was definitely not standard ballroom technique, the resulting position was so intensely close and downright scandalous that Professor Goodwitch actually stepped forward as if to intervene.

But they were both too lost in their competitive fury to notice the scandal they were creating. This was familiar territory. The push and pull of their relationship, the way they could drive each other to extremes of passion and rage with equal ease, "You always have to make everything a competition," Jaune said as he set her down, only to immediately catch her in another dip that left her completely dependent on his strength to keep from falling.

"Says the man who's currently trying to out-dance me at a school function," Weiss shot back, using the momentum of his lift to spin away from him in a series of rapid pirouettes that probably violated several laws of physics.

"Maybe if you didn't challenge me every five seconds-"

"Maybe if you could actually keep up with me -"

They came together for the final sequence, their bodies pressed so close together that there was no space between them, moving through the steps with an intensity that bordered on obscene. The tension that had been building throughout their dance reached a crescendo as Jaune pulled her close again, holding her against him as she wrapped her arms around his neck in a position that definitely belonged in a bedroom rather than a school dance.

For a moment, they froze like that, both breathing hard, their faces inches apart and their bodies intimately entwined. The anger was still there, but it had transformed into something else entirely. Something hot, dangerous, and familiar.

The music ended.

The silence that followed was deafening, broken only by the sound of their labored breathing and the distant murmur of shocked whispers from their audience.

It was only then that they became aware of where they were and what they'd just done in front of the entire student body. Weiss slid back from Jaune, her arms trembling as she loosened her grip. They stepped apart with careful precision, both avoiding eye contact as the reality of their very public display sank in.

"Well," Professor Goodwitch's voice cut through the silence like a blade, "That was... educational. I suppose we should all be thankful that you didn't escalate to something even more untoward." Amber gave her a curious look.

Weiss finally looked around to find the entire dance watching them with expressions ranging from shock to fascination to poorly concealed arousal (ugh). Penny was still frantically taking notes, her mechanical pencil moving so fast it was creating small puffs of smoke. She finally caught sight of Ruby too. Her partner was pointedly looking away from her, her pale cheeks flushed redder than her dress. Weiss didn't know whether to feel mortified or proud.

"I..." Weiss started, then found she had absolutely no idea how to explain what just happened.

"We should probably..." Jaune gestured vaguely toward the exit, his face red with embarrassment.

"Yes," Weiss agreed quickly, "Fresh air. That sounds... prudent."

They fled the dance floor together, leaving behind a room full of students who would be talking about their performance for weeks to come. Weiss' face was still warm and her heart was still beating at a mile a minute. It was Jaune's fault, she told herself again. She was simply trying to prove him wrong. That was it.

[line break]

Ruby was totally wiped out. Like, completely dead on her feet tired. She'd spent the whole night trying to become one with the wallpaper at the dance, which was way harder than it sounded when you were wearing a bright red dress that practically screamed "LOOK AT ME!" and big black heels. Screw you, Yang! Every time someone looked like they'd ask her to dance , she'd find a new corner to hide in or suddenly become super interested in whatever sad appetizers they had on the snack table.

The whole thing was super weird anyway. Whatever that... thing had been between Weiss and Jaune on the dance floor was definitely not normal dancing. Ruby didn't know much about fancy ballroom stuff, but she was pretty sure people weren't supposed to look like they were two seconds away from either killing each other or... something else she really didn't wanna think about. She'd been trying to ignore Jaune and Weiss' weirdness ever since school began.

Now she was dragging herself back to their dorm with Pyrrha, both of them having bailed on the party around the same time. Even Pyrrha looked beat, and that girl had enough energy stamina to power half of Beacon most days, "Next year I'm just gonna volunteer to set up decorations or something," Ruby said, trying not to trip over her stupid fancy heels, "At least then I'd actually be doing something useful instead of just... standing around."

"The evening had its moments," Pyrrha said, which was her super polite way of saying 'yeah, that was pretty terrible.'

Ruby was digging around in the dress' pocket for their keycard when she heard voices coming from inside. Loud voices. Really, really loud voices.

"Your dick is even tinier than I remembered!" That was definitely Weiss, except she sounded all out of breath and weird.

"At least I don't cum in five seconds like you do!" Jaune's voice shot back, and he sounded just as breathless and... groany? Ruby's brain just kinda... stopped working for a second. Like, completely blue-screened. Were they...

"Oh gods, you're still terrible at this!" Weiss was practically yelling, but in that breathy way that made Ruby's face start burning, "No wonder I had to fake everything! Did you even put it inside yet? I can't tell!"

"Shut up! You're the one who- Whatever Jaune was gonna say got cut off by this weird thumping sound and then more noises that Ruby really, really didn't wanna think about too hard. She just stood there, card halfway to the reader , staring at the door like it personally betrayed her. Next to her, Pyrrha looked like someone had just told her Santa wasn't real.

"Are they..." Ruby whispered, not even sure how to finish that sentence.

"It... appears so," Pyrrha whispered back, sounding kinda strangled.

"But they hate each other!"

"Evidently not... entirely?"

More sounds came through the door. Really crude insults mixed with other stuff that made Ruby wanna crawl into a hole and never come back out, "You still screech like a dying cat!" Jaune was saying, except he sounded like he was having trouble breathing between all the groaning and thumping, "The neighbors filed noise complaints!

"Better than lasting thirty seconds, you pathetic- OH BROTHERS!"

Ruby's face went full tomato mode. She looked at Pyrrha, who was staring at the door like it might explode, "Oh my gods," Ruby hissed, backing away from the door like it was on fire, "Oh my gods, oh my gods, oh my gods!"

"Perhaps we should..." Pyrrha gestured down the hallway, looking like she wanted to disappear.

"And of course you had to tear my dress, you horny brute! Couldn't wait to get make naked, huh?!"

"I saw you eye-fucking the whole walk back! Don't deny it! You're just as- ow, stop biting my dick!"

"Yeah. Definitely. Yang's room. We're sleeping in Yang's room tonight."

They speed-walked away from their door as fast as they could without actually running, trying really hard to ignore the continued sounds of... whatever the heck was happening in there, "I thought the dorms were supposed to be soundproof," Ruby muttered, her face still burning.

"They are..." Pyrrha said weakly.

"Then why can we hear-"

"Either the soundproofing's broken, or they're being exceptionally... vocal."

Ruby whimpered, "I did not need to know this about my teammates. Like, ever. In my entire life. Why can't they just hate each other like normal people?!"

They kept walking toward Yang's room, both of them trying really hard to pretend they hadn't just heard what they'd heard. Which was gonna be pretty much impossible, but Ruby was definitely gonna try. This was gonna make team meetings so awkward.

[line break]

Jaune woke up feeling like he'd been run over by a Goliath. Then backed over by the same Goliath. Twice. He blinked slowly at the ceiling, trying to piece together exactly what the hell had happened to their room. And... wow. Their room looked like a tornado had hit it. A very angry, very horny tornado.

The windows were completely shattered. He could feel the morning breeze coming through what used to be glass. Their study desk (which Weiss spent a whole week meticulously organizing) was cracked clean in half, books and papers scattered everywhere like confetti. Clothes were ripped and thrown around the room, either torn at best or outright shredded at worst. And was that... yeah, that was definitely Pyrrha's bed sticking halfway out of the window frame.

When did they throw a bed out the window? Was that during round four? Round five? He'd honestly lost count after the third time Weiss had literally climbed him like a tree while simultaneously calling him an incompetent moron.

Next to him, Weiss was staring at the ceiling with the kind of shell-shocked expression usually reserved for people who'd just survived natural disasters. Which, considering the state of their room, wasn't that far off. They both probably looked like absolute hell. His entire body felt like he'd gone ten rounds with Yang in the ring, and there were bite marks all over his neck, arms, and... other places he wasn't gonna think about too hard right now.

Weiss looked like she'd been attacked by a very enthusiastic vampire. The hickeys and bruises covering her pale skin stood out like neon signs advertising exactly what they'd been up to all night. Her normally perfect hair looked like she'd stuck her finger in an electrical socket, and she had this dazed look in her eyes like she couldn't quite believe what had just happened.

Honestly? Same.

They lay there in silence for a while, both of them probably trying to figure out how they'd gone from fake dating to... whatever the hell this was. The only sounds were the morning birds chirping outside their destroyed window and the distant sound of students moving around in the hallway, getting ready for breakfast. Gods, he felt like he was hungover, and he didn't even drink any of that spiked punch.

"This doesn't erase what you did," Weiss said suddenly, her voice hoarse and scratchy. She was still staring at the ceiling like it held the answers to all of life's mysteries.

Jaune groaned, the sound coming from somewhere deep in his chest, "For the hundredth time, I DIDN'T CHEAT!" God, they were really gonna do this again? Right now? After they'd just... well, after whatever that had been?

Weiss looked like she was gearing up to launch into her usual rant about Ruby and the hoodie and whatever paranoid theories she'd convinced herself were true. But then her eyes widened, and Jaune could practically see the lightbulb going off over her head, "I'm the Spring Maiden now," she said, sitting up so fast it probably made her dizzy. The sheet fell away and Jaune very determinedly kept his eyes on her face, "We can ask a question from Jinn. She always tells the truth."

Jaune opened his mouth to argue - were they seriously gonna drag a magical genie into their relationship drama? - but then he stopped. And smiled. A big, wide, shit-eating grin that probably made him look like the Curious Cat who caught the canary.

Weiss suddenly looked a lot less sure about her brilliant idea, her eyes narrowing suspiciously at his expression, "Why are you smiling like that?"

"Oh, Snow Angel," Jaune said, rolling out of bed and starting to hunt around for clothes that weren't completely destroyed, "This is gonna be fun." He found his jeans (somehow they'd ended up hanging from the ceiling fan) and started pulling them on, still grinning like an idiot, "Come on," he said, grabbing what looked like the least torn shirt he could find, "Time to prove you wrong."

Hours later, after they'd managed to find enough intact clothing to be decent in public and explained away the destruction of their room as "Maiden power training accident" (which wasn't technically a lie), they found themselves in the vault beneath Haven Academy. The Relic of Knowledge sat innocuously on its pedestal, looking way too normal for something that was about to settle the biggest argument of Jaune's marriage.

Weiss approached the lamp with the kind of confidence that usually meant she was about to be spectacularly wrong about something. Jaune had seen that same look right before she'd insisted that Atlesian food was superior to Vale cuisine, or when she'd declared that her investment strategy was "foolproof" right before losing a chunk of SDC stock value. She spent the entire next week butthurt and blaming the "volatile market" rather than admit she messed up.

She rubbed the lamp and blue smoke poured out, swirling and coalescing into the familiar figure of Jinn. The relic being stretched languidly, her massive form taking up most of the vault space, before looking down at them with those ancient, knowing eyes, "Well, well," Jinn said, her voice carrying that ethereal quality that made it sound like she was speaking underwater, "Time travelers. How... novel." She tilted her head, studying them with obvious interest, "Before you ask your questions, I should mention that yes, I can see into timelines that have been erased due to temporal machinations. Just so you're aware of my capabilities and don't waste a question."

Jaune felt his grin widen. Oh, this was gonna be good. Weiss stepped forward, chin raised with all the righteous fury of someone who absolutely knew she was about to be vindicated, "Jinn," she said, her voice carrying that crisp, formal tone she used whenever she wanted to sound important; which was all the time, "Did Jaune Arc cheat on me with Ruby Rose?"

The silence before the bombshell that followed was beautiful.

"No," Jinn said simply.

Jaune watched with pure, unadulterated joy as Weiss' face went through about fifteen different emotions in the span of five seconds. Confidence to confusion to disbelief to dawning horror. It was like watching someone realize they'd walked into class in their underwear but way, way better.

Meanwhile, Jaune's shit-eating grin was turning downright manic. He felt like he could power the entire kingdom of Vale with the sheer vindictive satisfaction coursing through his veins. Six months. Six months of accusations, paranoid theories, and having his character assassinated on a daily basis. Six months of being called a cheater, a liar, and probably some other things he was trying to forget.

And now? Now he had a literal all-knowing cosmic entity confirming what he'd been saying all along. He was right, Weiss was wrong. The feeling was better than sex. And he'd know considering he had a point of comparison literally less than 12 hours ago.

"But-" Weiss started, opening her mouth to ask what was probably gonna be another question and waste their last one for the century.

Jinn held up a hand, cutting her off with the kind of authority that came from being older than civilization, "No," she said, anticipating the question, "Ruby Rose did not plan to cheat with Jaune Arc. There was no cheating. Period. No infidelity, no emotional affairs, no inappropriate relationships of any kind. Your marriage had problems on both ends, but unfaithfulness was not one of them."

And then, just like that, she dissolved back into smoke and returned to her lamp, leaving them alone in the vault with the echoing finality of divine judgment. Weiss stood there for a moment, staring at the now-dormant lamp like it had just told her the sky was green and water flowed uphill. Jaune was tempted to say "I told you so" before he held himself back. No, let her stew in it, he thought. He was curious if she'd accept that she was wrong or double down/

The lamp fell from Weiss' limps hands and she slowly sank to her knees, "NOOOOOO!" she screamed, her voice echoing off the vault walls, "That's not true! That's impossible!"

Jaune decided, for once in his life, not to be the nice guy. Not to comfort her or try to make her feel better or pretend that this wasn't the most satisfying moment he'd had since... well, since last night, "Search your feelings, you know it to be true." Oh yeah, he was quoting Star Wars here. He deserved it. Weiss continued to look down at the floor, her face shattered, "So," he said, his voice dripping with smug satisfaction, "Got anything you'd like to say to me, Weiss?"

She looked up at him from her position on the floor, her face a mix of devastation and obvious reluctance. For a moment, he thought she'd actually try to argue with a literal omniscient being that knew everything.

But then...

"I'm... sorry," she mumbled, the words barely audible.

Jaune cupped his hand around his right ear and leaned forward with exaggerated confusion, "What was that? Sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Could you speak up a little?"

If looks could kill, Weiss's glare would have reduced him to a pile of ash on the spot. But she was stuck, and they both knew it. You couldn't really argue with divine revelation, "I'M SORRY!" she shouted, her voice hoarse, "I'M SORRY FOR ACCUSING YOU OF CHEATING! I'M SORRY FOR NOT BELIEVING YOU! I'M SORRY FOR BEING A PARANOID, JEALOUS HARPY WHO DESTROYED OUR MARRIAGE OVER NOTHING!"

"And?" Jaune said, still grinning like the cat who'd caught the canary, eaten it, then gotten seconds.

Weiss looked like she was physically in pain, "And... And I'll...make it up to you."

Jaune took a deep breath. Oh yeah, this was the good stuff. Now, he wasn't stupid enough to think that Weiss was the only reason their marriage failed, but after months of accusations and sniping, he was just gonna let it simmer, "You definitely will," Jaune said, his grin somehow managing to get even wider, "Oh, you definitely will." He offered her a hand, which she reluctantly took, "First things first, you're gonna apologize to Ruby and Amber for treating them so weird."

"I've been nice to Ruby! I've been giving her gifts!"

"In-between calling her a slut and a homewrecker," Jaune reminded her gleefully. Weiss' face pinched like she sucked on a lemon, "And remember, you said you'd make it up to me. And a Schnee always pays their debts."

"That is not our family motto!" Weiss hissed, but the fight was gone. She was wrong and she knew it.

This was gonna be fun.

[line break]

End of the main chapters. May make an epilogue omake of Weiss being forced to eat crow and make up for her behavior. Poor Ruby's gonna be so confused.

Heads up

I’m writing the final main story chapter for Mr. and Mrs. Arc-Schnee. There might be a post epilogue/Omake chapter, though. Depends on people’s interests.

I might also write a Zenless oneshot, mostly because I wanna see more Anby stuff. We’ll see.

Nurse Jaune 2

Chapter 2. NPR, Emerald, and Cinder with bonus Mercury.

[line break]

Patient 5 and 6: Lie Ren and Nora Valkyrie

The next day brought Jaune a special treat from hell: a two-for-one deal that he absolutely didn't ask for and definitely didn't want. Ren dragged Nora into the infirmary like he was hauling a particularly uncooperative sack of hammers, and the moment they crossed the threshold, all hell broke loose.

"NOOOOO!" Nora wailed, immediately dropping to the floor in what could only be described as tragedy in its purest form. Tears streamed down her face as she scratched and pawed at the linoleum, "You can't do this to me! I was abandoned as a kid by my mom, and now you're making it worse! Don't you have a heart?! How can you be so cruel to a poor orphan girl?! Monster! Demon! Pancake hater!" She said that last part like it was the worst one.

The performance was so over the top that Jaune half-expected someone to start playing a violin. Nora was writhing on the floor, sobbing like her world was ending, and acting like he told her she had every terminal illness at once. Meanwhile, Ren stood beside his sobbing, shrieking partner with the emotional expression of a brick wall. Not calm in a zen-like way, or peaceful, or even stoic. Just... nothing. Like someone had taken all the feeling out of him and replaced it with lukewarm oatmeal.

"Mr. Ren," Jaune said carefully, because something about his complete lack of reaction was weird him out, "You look like you're... weirdly okay with this."

"I am using my Semblance to numb my emotions," Ren replied in a voice so flat it would've made Robocop jealous. No inflection, no tone, nothing. It was creepy as hell, "In fact, I believe I may have used it too extensively. I will likely be emotionally dead for the next few weeks."

Jaune blinked, "Is... Is that healthy?"

"Most likely not," Ren replied with the same mechanical flatness, "However, it does allow me to receive medical treatment without incident."

Meanwhile, Nora was still rolling around on the floor, her sobs reaching new heights of dramatic agony, "The needles! They're so sharp! And pointy! And they go in you! This is how I'm gonna die! Not by fighting Grimm to save a whole city, but because of a tiny metal stick made by sadists!"

Jaune looked between emotionally-dead Ren and theatrically-dying Nora, and felt what remained of his sanity pack its bags and head for the exit, "Ren," he said desperately, "Can you do that thing to Nora too?" Yes, he was asking a student to make another one emotionally dead. No, he didn't care.

"I offered," Ren replied in that same creepy monotone, "She refused. Apparently, the thought of a calm Nora Valkyrie gave her nightmares about losing her identity." Of course it did. Because why would anything at this school be simple?

Nora, having apparently heard her name, looked up from her floor performance with tearstained cheeks and red-rimmed eyes, "Please, Jaune!" she sniffled, switching tactics with the skill of a seasoned con artist. First name too. She was really going for the emotional gut punch, "I'm just a poor, sad orphan who grew up on the streets! Find your heart! Think of all the trauma I've already endured! Do you really wanna make it worse?!"

She was shameless. Absolutely, completely shameless about weaponizing her tragic backstory to get out of a vaccination that would take literally two seconds. Jaune had to admire the audacity even as he felt something snap inside his brain. Not break, just... snap into place. He was absolutely, completely, one-hundred-percent done with this nonsense.

Time for the dust bomb option.

"Alright, Ren," he said, picking up a syringe, "Let's get yours done first."

Ren walked over with the mechanical precision of a robot, rolled up his sleeve without being asked, and accepted the injection with about as much reaction as a mannequin. He didn't flinch, didn't make a sound, didn't even seem to register that anything was happening. When it was done, he simply rolled his sleeve back down and walked out of the room like nothing happened. He almost expected him to stay for Nora's sake before he remembered that he was as emotional as a brick right now. He probably didn't even care that his partner was sobbing on the floor and making a mess.

Which left him alone with Nora, who was still sniffling on the floor but watching him with the kind of wary attention that made it clear she wasn't nearly as panicked as she looked. Jaune steepled his fingers together and fixed her with what he hoped was his most serious expression, "Nora," he said in his best 'I-mean-business' voice, "If you don't take your shot right now, I'm going to introduce Ren to my very single, very available sisters."

The change in Nora was immediate and terrifying. The fake(?) tears dried up instantly, her expression shifted from pathetic to murderous, and Jaune was pretty sure he saw actual lightning sparks dancing around her hair, "You wouldn't dare," she growled, voice dropping to a register that made him think of very angry thunderstorms. The tears were completely gone now, and her shaking body had gone eerily still. Like a predator that decided it was done pretending.

Jaune had done his homework after the disaster that was the first day. Nora's medical file was surprisingly detailed about her psychological profile, and her attachment to Ren was noted as "clinically significant" and "potentially concerning." She was possessive of her partner in a way that made territorial dragons look laid-back. Apparently, one of the transfer students had flirted with him and her immediate response was to ask her for a "friendly" sparring match. The transfer student wisely refused.

"I have seven sisters," he continued, almost enjoying the way Nora's eye began to twitch, "And they're all very charming, very pretty, and very interested in meeting nice boys who can cook and stay calm under pressure." It was complete nonsense, of course. His sisters weren't gonna be interested in dating some random guy from his school (plus Saphron being married and three of his sisters being even younger than him). And even if they were, they lived way too far away for it to matter.

But Nora didn't know that, and the look of pure, undiluted rage that crossed her face made it clear she was buying it completely. For a second, Jaune genuinely thought she might pick him up and throw him out the window. Her eye was twitching, her hands were clenched into fists, and he was pretty sure he could see actual steam coming from her ears. The air around Nora seemed to crackle with barely contained violence. She looked like she was calculating how much trouble she'd get in for committing homicide in the school infirmary.

But eventually, with a growl that would've made an Ursa proud, she stalked over and thrust her arm out toward him like she was offering it up to be cut off, "If you even think about introducing him to your sisters," she snarled through gritted teeth, "I will find you, and I will end you, and I will make it look like an accident."

"Noted," Jaune said, quickly prepping the needle before she could change her mind.

Just like everyone else, Nora's tough girl act completely crumbled the seond the needle touched her skin. She let out a screech that probably registered on seismic equipment three kingdoms over, her whole body going rigid as she clenched her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut, "OW OW OW OW OW! This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me! Worse than living on the streets! Worse than Grimm attacks! Worse than the time Ren tried to make me eat broccoli!"

"Annnnd done," Jaune announced, quickly applying a band-aid before she could decide to seek revenge. This one had little Apathies.

Nora looked down at her arm like she couldn't quite believe she'd survived. Then, with the shamelessness that had gotten her this far in life, she grabbed his entire container of lollipops - the whole thing, not just one - and clutched it to her chest like a dragon with its hoard, "These are mine now," she said, already backing toward the door, "Orphan tax."

"Hey, wait-" Jaune said, but she was already gone, probably off to find Ren and make sure he hadn't been corrupted by any sister-related thoughts in the last five minutes. He stared at the empty spot where his lollipop container with the growing certainty that his job was going to drive him to an early grave.

Patien 7: Pyrrha Nikos

Jaune's next patient was Pyrrha. And honestly? He was actually looking forward to this one. She was probably the only student at Beacon he liked talking to. Ever since he'd found her training alone in the gym one night, they'd struck up this weird friendship based on mutual loneliness and the shared experience of feeling like outsiders.

Apparently, she felt distant from the rest of her team. Ren and Nora were childhood friends who had their own little bubble, and her partner - some foreign exchange student named Juan Arco - didn't speak Valean or even Mistralian. So she was kind of stuck in the middle, which Jaune totally got. Dr. Oobleck was technically supposed to be his supervisor, but the guy was so busy with his classes and whatever research he was always muttering about that Jaune spent most of his time working alone. And when he brought it up to Ozpin, the old bastard just smiled and gave him a raise, as if that made it okay for him to do these jobs alone.

Pyrrha had gotten into the habit of dropping by the clinic just to chat, which was honestly the highlight of most of his days. She was easy to talk to, didn't treat him like he was incompetent, and never made him feel like an idiot for not knowing things that everyone else seemed to think was obvious. Most Huntsmen were raised in combat families, so they all had this micro-culture that he wasn't privy to. Mostly because dad insisted on keeping Huntsman stuff as FAR away from him as possible from the house.

So when she walked into the infirmary looking totally normal - no tears, no bribery attempts, no dramatic speeches about civil rights - Jaune felt a little surge of hope. Finally, someone who could handle a simple medical procedure like a rational human being, "Hey, Pyrrha," he said, genuinely smiling for the first time all day, "Ready for your vaccination?"

Pyrrha's cheeks turned a little pink, which was weird (maybe she was running a fever?), but she nodded and took a deep breath like she was psyching herself up for something big, "Actually, Jaune, I have a proposal." Oh no. The hope in Jaune's chest immediately started packing its bags, "I'll accept the vaccination," she continued, her voice getting higher and faster, "But only if you can defeat me in combat first!" The last bit of that came out in a shout.

Jaune blinked, "Combat?"

"Pankration!" she said quickly, like that explained everything, "It's a traditional Mistralian wrestling match. Very... Very traditional. We'd have to wear the proper attire, of course. Nothing but loincloths. For authenticity's sake, nothing else!" Jaune blinked again. Pyrrha was vibrating so much he wondered if she was using her Semblance, "And maybe some oil to make sure we don't get any unfair advantages from, um, grip? Yes, the grip!"

She was looking at him with this weird focus that made Jaune feel ldike he was missing something obvious, but he couldn't figure out what. Pyrrha was acting... strange. Like, more flustered than he'd ever seen her, which was saying something considering she was usually the most composed person he knew, "Pyrrha," he said slowly in his best 'patient nurse' voice, "You're a tournament champion. There's literally no way I could beat you in any kind of fighting outside of rock paper scissors."

"You're u-underestimating yours-self!" she stammered, waving her hands around like she was trying to physically push her words toward him, "I promise I'll go easy on you! Really easy! Like, barely trying at all!"

Jaune gave her a look, "If you're going to go that easy on me anyway, then you might as well just take the shot."

Pyrrha opened her mouth like she wanted to argue, then closed it, then opened it again. She looked like a fish trying to figure out how to breathe air, which was definitely not normal behavior for someone who regularly gave interviews to sports magazines. Definitely a fever of some kind.

"Look," Jaune said, glancing at his schedule, "I really need to get this done now. I'm already running behind cause of Nora, and I've still got like twenty more people to get through today."

Pyrrha's shoulders sagged, and she looked so disappointed that Jaune almost felt bad. Almost. But not bad enough to agree to whatever weird wrestling match was proposing, "Okay," she said quietly, rolling up her uniform sleeve and offering her arm with the same enthusiasm most people reserved for taxes. And he'd know since he'd been doing the family taxes since he was 15. If nothing else, it was good practice on good record keeping.

Jaune prepped the needle and did the injection as quickly as possible. No fuss, no drama, no fainting or screaming or attempts to bribe him with family fortunes. Or threats to ruin his family's livelihoods. It was honestly the smoothest vaccination he'd done all week, "Thanks for being such a good patient," he said, applying a band-aid with little Beowolf stickers, "I'd offer you a lollipop, but Nora took the entire container."

"I was a good patient...so I deserve a reward, right?" Pyrrha looked down at the bandage, then back up at him with those intense green eyes, "Could... Could you give me a kiss instead?!" Her face was practically steaming now.

"Sure," Jaune said without thinking. It wasn't anything weird; lots of his younger patients back home wanted their injuries kissed better. He leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to the band-aid, right over the injection site.

It was actually kind of cute, honestly. Here was this famous tournament champion, someone who could benchpress a car (or throw dozens of them like birdseeds), and she wanted her boo-boo kissed like a little kid. There was something endearing about how even the strongest people sometimes wanted that tiny bit of comfort.

When he straightened up, Pyrrha was staring at him with a really weird expression. Like she was trying to solve a math problem that kept changing every time she looked at it. Her face was bright red, and she looked like she wanted to say something but couldn't figure out how to make the words work, "Um," she finally said, "That's not really what I- I mean, I was thinking more like-"

"Everything okay?" Jaune asked.

Pyrrha stared at him for another few seconds, then let out a long, defeated sigh, "Never mind. Thanks for... for the kiss." She trudged toward the door with heavy steps. Which was weird cause, as far as he could tell, the whole thing had gone perfectly. No drama, no complications, just a quick shot and done. She should've been celebrating. Putting her hands up and cheering for being the only normal person in this school (weird wrestling offer aside).

He marked her name off his list and tried not to think too hard about why she'd seemed so disappointed. Girls were weird sometimes. Even the cool ones like Pyrrha.

Patient 8: Emerald Sustrai

The next person on his list was one of the exchange students from Haven Academy. Emerald Sustrai, part of team CMEN... yeah, poor bastards. They claimed it was supposed to be pronounced "Cement," but literally no one was buying that excuse. Jaune had no idea who the sadistic asshole was who'd come up with that team name, but he felt genuinely sorry for the students who had to live with it. And that whoever made up that name would always have their pillow on the warm side.

When Emerald walked into the infirmary, Jaune braced himself for whatever fresh hell she was about to unleash on his rapidly deteriorating sanity. What was it gonna be this time? Threats? Bribes? Maybe sexual favors? Yes, people actually offered that yesterday...and not all of them were women. He counted half a dozen guys too.

But then... nothing happened.

Emerald sat down on the chair like a normal person, rolled up her sleeve without being asked, and offered her arm with a pleasant smile. No tears, no bribery attempts, no dramatic speeches about civil rights or conspiracy theories. Just a regular teenager getting a regular vaccination like it was the most normal thing in the world. He almost didn't believe it. He pinched himself. Nope, still awake.

"Ready when you are," she said with a bright smile. Jaune almost didn't trust it. After the parade of lunatics he'd dealt with the past two days, someone acting rational felt like a trap. Just a few months in Beacon and he'd gone from "strangers are just friends you haven't met yet" to being a paranoid lunatic.

But he prepped the syringe anyway, administered the injection, and watched as Emerald accepted it (and the nevermore band-aid) without so much as a wince, "Thanks!" she said brightly, hopping up from the chair, "Have a great day, doc!"

And then she was gone, leaving Jaune sitting there in stunned silence. That was... that was it? No drama? No fainting? No attempts to negotiate her way out of basic medical care? Huh. Well, that was a nice change of pace. Maybe his luck was finally turning around. Maybe the rest of his patients would be just as reasonable and-

...Hold on.

The syringe in his hand was still full. And capped. Like he never used it at all.

What?

Jaune stared at the needle, then at his desk, then back at the needle. He wasn't seeing things, was he? No, the syringe was definitely still full of vaccine. Which meant... which meant he hadn't actually given Emerald her shot. But that was impossible, he just did it!

His eyes drifted to where his brand-new bowl of lollipops had been sitting on the corner of his desk. The bowl he'd refilled after Nora's great lollipop heist of earlier that morning.

It was gone. Again, "How?!" Jaune shouted. He looked around the room frantically, checking under papers and behind the utensils like the bowl might've just wandered off on its own. But no, it was definitely gone. Along with all the lollipops inside it. So what the hellhappened? Did he hallucinate the entire thing? Was he finally losing his mind after dealing with too many crazy teenagers? Was it-

Wait.

Jaune's right eye started twitching as the pieces fell into place. He grabbed the designated clinic scroll and looked through the camera feeds. Part of insurance claims, Ozpin told him. Huntsmen had a habit of claiming lawsuit worthy offenses enough times that this was considered a worthwhile investment. He tapped the screen and set the feed a couple of minutes back.

What he saw made his blood boil.

Emerald entered the room and didn't sit on the chair. Instead, she walked past him and grabbed the bowl of lollipops while Jaune talked to thin air and made injecting motions with the capped syringe. The twitching in his eye got worse. A Semblance, it had to be. Something with illusions. Okay, now that was crossing the line! She literally used superpowers to get out of her shot! Not even the others did that! ...Okay, that was because she blackmailed or threatened them, but still!

He hopped up from his chair and ran to the door, sprinting past the line of waiting rounded the corner just in time to see Emerald casually walking down the hall... with his missing bowl of lollipops clutched in her thieving hands and not a single bandage anywhere on her exposed arms, "HEY!" he shouted, his voice echoing off the walls loud enough to echo across campus, "Get back here and take your shot! And give back those candies! You were a bad patient! You don't deserve lollipops!"

Emerald froze for about half a second. Then she looked over her shoulder, made direct eye contact with Jaune, and immediately broke into a dead sprint around the corner, "You'll never take me alive!" she shouted back.

Jaune let out a growl that would've made Blake proud and stalked back into the infirmary. He yanked open the bottom drawer of his desk and pulled out what was possibly the most ridiculous piece of "medical" equipment he'd ever been issued: a tranquilizer gun that Professor Port loaned him yesterday for "difficult patients." At the time, Jaune thought it was overkill. Now, as he checked to make sure it was loaded and functional, he was starting to think Port was a visionary.

Time to go hunting.

Patient 9: Cinder Fall

For his next patient, Jaune came prepared. And by prepared, he meant he dragged Qrow Branwen into the infirmary as his backup in case any other students decided they wanted to get creative with their Semblances. Let them try their illusion tricks with an actual adult Huntsman sitting right there in the room. Didn't matter if the guy was halfway plastered. He could still (literally) spank anyone that tried to start any shit.

Qrow had whined the entire time, grumbling about how he had "better things to do" and "this isn't what I signed up for" and "why can't you just drug them all from the start?" But orders were orders, and when Jaune had marched into Ozpin's office demanding backup, the Headmaster, of course, tried to help Qrow out by saying he was busy.

Well, right up until Jaune gave him an ultimatum: either Qrow helped out, or Ozpin and Glynda could come down and handle the vaccinations themselves cause he was quitting. Suddenly, the Headmaster was a lot less concerned about how busy Qrow supposedly was with his "other responsibilities." So now he was here nursing decaf and grumbling about "whiny nurses and even whinier kids". They at least agreed on the whiny kids part. He felt like he'd aged ten years in two days.

His next patient only made his already foul mood worse.

Cinder Fall, the leader of team CMEN and presumably the mastermind behind Emerald's little disappearing act. The green-haired thief was currently back in their dorm room nursing two injections - one vaccination in her arm, and one tranquilizer dart in her ass courtesy of Port's Aura-piercing ammunition. Apparently, the old professor didn't mess around when it came to his medical equipment. Jaune was starting to think the old guy was his favorite professor.

Jaune could already tell that Cinder was going to be just as much of a pain as her teammate. She walked into the infirmary like she owned the place, all confidence and predatory grace, but her golden eyes immediately fixed on Qrow with obvious wariness. The Huntsman was slouched in the corner chair, looking like he'd rather be literally anywhere else, but his presence was clearly making her nervous.

"Is it common practice for professors to be present during routine medical procedures?" she asked, her voice smooth and controlled but with an undertone that set Jaune's teeth on edge.

Jaune smiled his most innocent, helpful smile; the one he'd perfected after years of dealing with his sisters' boyfriends, "Absolutely," he said cheerfully, "Do you have a problem with tha, Ms Fall?"

Cinder's smirk turned brittle around the edges, "Of course not."

She settled into the chair across from his desk, that fake smile still plastered across her face, and Jaune's irritation ratcheted up another notch. Her file was just as frustratingly sparse as Emerald's had been. Barely any background information, no medical history, no previous school records. Normally, he might've just shrugged it off as sloppy paperwork, but after the morning he'd had, he was done giving anyone the benefit of the doubt.

When Cinder offered up her arm with that same shaky confidence, Jaune decided to take his shot. Literally. Before she could open her mouth and say something that would've made this a gigantic pain in the ass, he jabbed the needle into her arm and pushed the plunger home.

She gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut, a tiny hiss escaping her lips, but managed to maintain most of her composure. It was almost impressed, "Well," she said after a moment, her voice slightly strained, "I suppose I should be going-"

"Actually," Jaune said, flipping open her file and making a show of studying it carefully, "I'm going to need you to stick around for a bit."

Cinder's eyes narrowed, "Excuse me?"

"See, your background information is pretty sparse," Jaune continued, tapping the mostly-empty pages with his pen. Seriously, even the fake transcripts he tried to use had more than this, "Normally, students only need one vaccination because their combat schools handle the others before they get to Beacon. But according to what I'm reading here..." He made a thoughtful humming sound, "Well, I can't really be sure you've had your full series of immunizations."

Her eyes widened, "I definitely took all my required shots already! I'm as healthy as an Ursa!"

"I can't really be sure of that," Jaune said with false sympathy, reaching for another syringe, "Better safe than sorry, right? Don't worry - there are only five more shots to go. And you get a colorful bandage for each one!" His smile was almost manic now, "Qrow, please hold her down."

What happened next was the last thing Jaune expected. Cinder looked at him, then at Qrow, then suddenly collapsed onto the floor in a sobbing heap that would've made Nora's earlier performance look subtle by comparison, "I confess!" she wailed, tears streaming down her face as she pressed her forehead to the linoleum, "I'm the one who stole the Maiden powers from Amber! I'll give them all back, I swear! Just please don't torture me with more needles! I'll tell you all about Salem's plans too!"

Jaune stared down at her, his brain trying to process what had just happened. Amber? Maiden powers? What the hell was she talking about? He didn't get a chance to ask for clarification before Qrow suddenly shot up from his chair like he'd been electrocuted. Without a hint of shakiness, he grabbed Cinder by the collar and hauled her up, "We need to verify if she actually took her shots first," he said quickly, already dragging the still-sobbing woman towards the door, "You know, cross-reference with her previous schools. Very important. Medical protocol and all that."

And then they were gone, leaving Jaune standing alone in his infirmary with a half-prepared syringe and absolutely no idea what the fuck just happened.

He stared at the door for a long moment, then let out a sigh that came from somewhere deep in his soul and marked Cinder as complete on his chart. At this point, he was just happy to have one less dramatic teenager(?) to deal with, even if he had no clue what any of that was about.

Maiden powers? What kind of fantasy anime crap was that?

Bonus Patient: Mercury Black

When Mercury Black walked into the infirmary as the third member of team CMEN, Jaune was already bracing himself for whatever fresh hell was about to unfold. At this point, he'd learned not to trust anyone who looked even remotely normal. Because apparently every student at Beacon had some kind of deep-seated psychological issue with basic medical care. Yang had literally gotten eaten by a Nevermore and just walked it off with a laugh, but a pinprick made her literally faint.

But Mercury just... sat down. No dramatic speeches, no bribery attempts, no demands to speak to his manager. He rolled up his sleeve and stuck out his arm like this was the most natural thing in the world, "Ready when you are," he said with a casual shrug.

Jaune readied the syringe and administered the injection, waiting for the inevitable freak-out that seemed to be standard procedure around here. The sobbing, the screaming, the shouting about how he was a monster. Mercury didn't even flinch when the needle pierced his skin. He just sat there, completely relaxed, like getting shot was normal. Which, you know, it was, but apparently not for the absolute weirdos at Beacon. He was beginning to think he dodged a bullet not enrolling.

It was only when Jaune was applying the band-aid that he noticed Mercury's wrist and forearm were absolutely covered in tiny needle marks. Old ones, from the look of it. Dozens of little scars and puncture wounds that healed over years,"Okay," Jaune started "I have to ask, why are you so calm about this? Everyone else has been acting like I'm trying to perform surgery with a rusty spoon and you're just being... normal."

Mercury's expression didn't change, but something cold flickered behind his eyes, "My old man beat the fear out of me years ago," he said matter-of-factly, like he was discussing the weather, "I've been stabbed with needles and other shit hundreds of times. This is nothing."

The casual way he said it made Jaune's stomach drop. There was something deeply unsettling about how normal Mercury made it sound, like getting repeatedly stabbed was just part of growing up, "That's... good to know," Jaune said carefully, trying to keep his voice neutral while his brain processed what he just heard, "You know, the school has counseling services available. Dr. Oobleck runs sessions on Thursdays, and I think Professor Peach does some kind of group therapy thing..."

Mercury gave him a look that made it clear he wasn't interested, "Thanks, but I'm good. Already worked through my daddy issues the old-fashioned way." There was something in his tone that suggested Jaune really didn't want to know what "the old-fashioned way" meant.

"Right," Jaune said, marking Mercury's name off his list, "Well, you're all set. Thanks for being... you know, sane."

Mercury stood up and headed for the door, "No problem, doc. This was actually pretty relaxing compared to my usual Tuesday."

And with that cheerful bit of psychological horror, he strolled out of the infirmary like he hadn't just casually mentioned a childhood full of systematic abuse. Jaune stared after him for a long moment, then made a mental note to slip Dr. Oobleck and Professor Peach a heads-up about Mercury Black. Some things were way above his pay grade as a school nurse, and "students with extensive histories of needle-related trauma" was definitely one of them.

[line break]

Jaune just saved Beacon and he had no idea. Anyway, next chapter will likely be the last. Will include Glynda and Winter. Not sure who else? Penny's a robot so she can't get injected. Not sure about Neo too.

Next Nurse Jaune Patients

Who do you guys wanna see next for Nurse Jaune? I’m leaning towards NPR (Nora, Pyrrha, Ren), Emerald, and Cinder. But I could also go for the adults like Winter and Glynda who are also petty and childish when it comes to their shots despite touting themselves as above it all.

Nurse Jaune

Short thing inspired by people on my discord. Might make a chapter 2 if people are interested in more of this.

[line break]

Jaune always thought he was pretty unlucky. Wrong place, wrong time, wrong everything. That was basically his life motto. Born with a Huntsman dad who refused to train him or any of his sisters. It was too dangerous, he said. Too risky. Better if he stayed in the family farm and learned to till the land and grow the crops.

So when the acceptance letter to Beacon Academy arrived, complete with an official seal and everything, he'd nearly fainted right then and there on his family's front porch. His mom's nursing training had finally paid off, he thought. All those hours learning to give shots to his seven sisters, bandaging scraped knees, and dealing with Saphron's dramatic reactions to paper cuts finally meant something after all.

Sure, it wasn't for the Huntsman program. And sure, his mom basically forced him into those nursing courses after his fifteenth "I'm totally going to become a legendary hero" declaration ended with him accidentally setting the barn on fire. But hey, Beacon was Beacon, right? The most prestigious academy in all of Vale where legends were born and dreams came true and all that inspirational fairy tale stuff he grew up listening to.

Oh, what an idiot he was.

As it turned out, there was a very good reason the nurse position at Beacon Academy was "surprisingly available" and "desperately seeking qualified candidates." Most sane people - keyword being sane - took one look at the job description and ran screaming in the opposite direction. Because apparently, nobody had bothered to mention in the brochure that future Huntsmen were absolutely, completely, one-hundred-percent insane.

Jaune had learned hard way during his first week when a blonde girl - Yang something - casually mentioned over her dislocated shoulder treatment that she'd "accidentally" blown up a nightclub before classes even started. Accidentally. Like you accidentally put salt in your coffee or accidentally wore mismatched socks, not accidentally leveled half a city block because someone made fun of your hair. And apparently Beacon didn't care since, you know, she wasn't rejected for it.

But that was just the tip of the crazy iceberg. The real kicker? These death-defying, Grimm-punching, building-destroying teenagers were absolutely terrified of needles. Not "mildly uncomfortable" or "would prefer to avoid them" terrified. No, this was full-blown, dramatic, "I'm gonna fucking die!" level terror that made someone think he was trying to perform surgery with a rusty spoon instead of giving them a freaking vaccination shot.

He'd tried everything. Gentle reassurance didn't work - they just stared at him like he was speaking ancient Mistrali. Bribery was a bust too. Apparently, even premium lollipops couldn't overcome their phobia. One girl with a red cape - sorry, cloak, she was really insistent on that - actually tried to negotiate with him, offering to clean the entire infirmary if he'd just "maybe forget" about her tetanus shot. When he refused, she threw the mother of all puppy dog eyes at him.

The girl - Ruby - could move faster than the human eye could track, but a tiny little pinprick? Might as well have been asking her to wrestle a King Taijitu with her bare hands.

And now, Jaune was staring at his schedule with the kind of dread usually reserved for people facing horrible execution. Tomorrow was vaccination day - the quarterly immunization update that every student at Beacon was required to receive. Normally, this would be Dr. Oobleck's problem. The hyperactive professor might've talked a mile a minute and drank enough coffee to kill a Goliath, but at least he had actual medical credentials and years of experience dealing with superpowered teenagers. Plus, you know, Huntsman level training.

But not this time. Dr. Oobleck had "conveniently" come down with the flu. Or food poisoning, or exhaustion, or whatever excuse let him escape the building before tomorrow's medical apocalypse. Which left Jaune, armed with nothing but his mom's nursing training and a rapidly dwindling supply of colorful band-aids, to face the entire student body of Beacon Academy.

Alone.

He was pretty sure this violated several labor laws, possibly some human rights conventions, and definitely his will to live. But when he tried to bring it up to Headmaster Ozpin, the man just smiled that mysterious smile of his and said something cryptic about "valuable learning experiences" and "character building." Jaune was starting to think Ozpin's definition of character building was suspiciously similar to cruel and unusual punishment that would've gotten him punished for war crimes.

Patient 1: Ruby Rose

The next day arrived with all the mercy of a Nevermore diving for prey, and Jaune found himself staring at his first victim - patient, he reminded himself, not victim - of the day. Ruby Rose stood in the doorway of the infirmary like she was preparing to enter a torture chamber, which, honestly, wasn't too far from how Jaune was feeling about the whole situation either. He cursed both Dr. Oobleck and Headmaster Ozpin again.

He didn't know much about her beyond the basics: fifteen-year-old prodigy, weapon of mass destruction disguised as gardening equipment, and apparently capable of moving fast enough to leave rose petals floating in mid-air like some kind of fairy tale character. Oh, and she was the same girl who'd literally cried over a tetanus shot last month. Actual tears. Over a needle barely thicker than a hair.

This was going to suck.

The feeling only got worse when Ruby stepped into the room and immediately deployed what Jaune's little sisters had taught him to recognize as the most devastating weapon in any young girl's arsenal: the dreaded puppy dog eyes.

"Hey there, Jaune!" she chirped, voice pitched just a little too high, silver eyes growing three sizes larger than should have been physically possible. Her lower lip jutted out in a pout that could have melted the heart of a Deathstalker, "You know, I was thinking... maybe we could just say I got my vaccination? Like, it could be our little secret?"

Jaune felt his resolve wobble like a newborn kitten trying to walk. Those eyes should have been classified as a war crime. He'd seen grown men crumble under less weaponized cuteness. Dad once bought Lily a pony when she gave him that look, and he was the guy who stared down Sabyrs.

But Jaune was made of sterner stuff. He'd survived seven sisters - seven - who'd collectively perfected the art of manipulation through adorableness on him better than against their parents. He'd been vaccinated against this exact tactic through years of "Can we keep the stray cat?" and "I didn't mean to break your guitar, can you please not tell Mom?"

"No," he said, trying to channel every ounce of big brother authority he'd ever possessed.

Ruby's eyes somehow managed to get even bigger, which looked adorable instead of falling right into the creepy uncanny valley, "But what if I brought you cookies? Really good ones! Chocolate chip, or snickerdoodles, or- oh! What if I set you up with Yang?! She thinks you're cute in a 'lost puppy' kind of way!"

Cute in a lost puppy kind of way? Jaune filed that particular ego crusher away for later and forced himself to stay focused. And ignore the fact that Ruby literally just tried to pimp out her sister to avoid getting a shot. He picked up the syringe with as much seriousness as he could muster, which was a lot since he managed to keep his grip completely still. Steady as a rock. No shaking at all.

Ruby's eyes darted to the needle like it was a live Grimm. Her whole body tensed, muscles coiling like she was about to bolt for the door at supersonic speed knowing Jaune couldn't stop her, "You know," he said, inspiration striking like lightning, "Your scythe is still in your rocket locker, isn't it?"

She blinked, clearly confused by the sudden change in topic, "Uh, yeah? Why do you- "

"Well, if you leave this room without getting your shot," Jaune said, trying to look like someone who definitely had the authority to make good on threats, "I'll have to report it to the system. And the system will automatically lock your locker until you come back and get your vaccination. No scythe access until you get your shot."

It was complete and utter bullshit, of course. Jaune had about as much control over the rocket locker system as he did over the weather. But Ruby didn't know that, and the look of dawning horror on her face made it clear she was buying it completely, "You're bluffing," she said, but her voice cracked like she was going through puberty all over again. Which was impressive considering she was already reaching dog whistle ranges normally.

Jaune raised an eyebrow and tried to look mysterious and authoritative instead of someone who was making things up as he went along, "Do you really want to call my bluff?" Please don't call his bluff. He didn't have a Plan B.

For a moment, Ruby looked like she might actually cry. Her silver eyes got glassy, her bottom lip trembled, and Jaune felt like the absolute worst person in the history of Remnant. But then she let out the most defeated sigh in human history and rolled up her sleeve with all the enthusiasm of someone preparing for their own execution. Jaune felt like he was the executioner.

"This is so not fair..." she muttered, then squeezed her eyes shut so tight her whole face scrunched up like an adorable raisin. She turned her head as far away from her exposed arm as physically possible, as if not looking at the injection site would somehow make it hurt less. A tactic he'd seen from his own little sisters.

Jaune positioned the needle, trying to be as gentle as possible. The moment it touched her skin - not even breaking skin yet, just touching - Ruby let out a whimper that could have broken hearts in all four kingdoms, "Is it over?" she whispered, voice tiny and wobbly.

"I haven't even started yet."

"What?" He winced. There was the dog whistle.

The actual injection lasted maybe three seconds, but Ruby's performance made it seem like a medieval torture session that lasted years. Even though it literally took a much time as to blink, she somehow managed to let out a series of increasingly dramatic whimpers, each one higher pitched than the last. To make it worse, each one was punctuated by sniffles that sounded suspiciously like she was trying not to full-on sob. Her free hand gripped the edge of the examination table so hard Jaune was genuinely worried she might crush it with Aura-enhanced strength.

"Ow ow ow ow ow," she chanted under her breath like some kind of pain mantra, tears actually leaking from her squeezed-shut eyes, "This is the worst day ever. Worse than when I dropped my cookies. Worse than when I got gum in my hair. Worse than-" She sniffed "-when Yang put hot sauce in my milk. Worse than when Weiss- "

"I finished seconds ago, Ruby," Jaune said, gesturing to the patch of skin covered by a band-aid that had beowolves wearing party hats.

Ruby cracked one eye open, then the other, looking down at her arm like she couldn't quite believe she'd survived the ordeal. The tears were still there, making her silver eyes even shinier than usual, and her nose was slightly red from all the sniffling, "I'm... I'm alive?" she asked in wonder, like she'd just emerged from a battle with a Grimm horde.

"Yeah, you're alive," Jaune said, trying not to sigh at how relieved she looked, "See? That wasn't so bad."

Ruby gave him a look that could have melted steel, "Not so bad? Not so bad? I saw my life flash before my eyes, Jaune!"

Jaune was pretty sure she was being dramatic, but considering he still had twnty nine more students to go, he decided not to argue the point.

Patient 2: Weiss Schnee

When Weiss Schnee walked through the infirmary door, Jaune felt a tiny spark of hope flicker to life in his chest. Finally someone who might actually act like a reasonable human being. She was the prim and proper type, wasn't she? All etiquette lessons and fancy manners and all that junk. She knew how to handle minor medical procedures without making this a gigantic scene. She'd get in, get her shot, then get a lollipop for being a good patient.

She'd be different, he thought. She wouldn't make this into a gigantic pain in the ass like literally everyone else at this insane school.

Weiss sat in the chair across from him with practiced elegance, legs cross gracefully. She looked him dead in the eye with the kind of calculating expression that made him suddenly understand why people were afraid of corporate board meetings. Fine, whatever. This would be-

"Name your price."

And just like that, Jaune felt his hope drain away faster than pizza disappeared on family movie night.

"I'm sorry, what?" he asked, though he had a sinking feeling he knew exactly what she meant.

"How much will it cost for you to let me walk out of here and forge the records to show that I received my vaccination?" She spoke like she was talking about the weather, like bribing a (sort-of) medical professional was just another Tuesday morning activity.

Jaune blinked. Then blinked again, "I... I can't accept bribes to fake your vaccination. That's illegal. And unethical. And probably about twelve other things that would get me fired and possibly arrested."

Without missing a beat, Weiss reached into her skirt and pulled out what looked like a credit card made of actual platinum. She placed it on the table between them like she was doing a mic drop, "Are you absolutely certain?" she asked, perfercty manicured eyebrow arched in a way that suggested she was used to getting what she wanted through the strategy of "I have a lot of money and I know it".

He stared at the card. He'd never seen that much potential money in one place before. For a brief, terrible moment, he imagined what he could do with access to Schnee level money. Pay off his family's farm, buy his sisters those fancy clothes they were always talking about, and maybe even afford to eat at a decent restaurant because everything in Vale was stuoidly expensive.

Jaune sook his head, "Very sure," he said, trying not to stare at the card. It was probably worth more than his entire education.

Weiss's expression shifted from 'reasonable businesswoman' to 'corporate shark who smelled blood in the water' so fast it gave Jaune whiplash, "I see. In that case, perhaps you should know that I can make life very, very difficult for you and your family. The Schnee name carries considerable weight in this kingdom, Mr. Arc. It would be unfortunate if that weight were to... shift in an unfavorable direction." She steepled her hands together like some kind of anime villain.

The threat hung in the air like a storm cloud, and Jaune had to admit, for most people, it would've been intimidating. Maybe it would've worked on someone who didn't grow up in a family where 'making life difficult' meant his sister putting salt in his orange juice or his mom assigning him extra chores for a month.

"My family are farmers," he said, leaning back in his chair, "We mostly sell vegetables to people in the local markets and co-ops. I really, really doubt the Schnee Dust Company is going to come after a bunch of people who grow fruits and veggies. Unless you're planning to corner the carrot market? Some really fierce competition there."

For the first time since entering the room, Weiss looked genuinely panicked. Her Perfectly Practiced Corporate Intimidation Routine™ apparently never accounted for someone who was too poor and rural to be meaningfully threatened, "Well then," she said, drawing herself up like she was preparing for her last stand, "I demand to speak to your manager."

"That would be Headmaster Ozpin," Jaune replied cheerfully, "Or Professor Goodwitch, depending on how you want to categorize the chain of command." The color drained from Weiss' face faster than when Ruby ran away from her last physical exam. Apparently, the idea of marching into Ozpin's office to complain about mandatory vaccinations was a bridge too far even for someone with her sense of entitlement.

She sat there for a long moment, looking like she was rapidly cycling through every negotiation tactic she'd ever learned and finding them all useless. The expression of utter defeat was damning. It was the face of someone who'd never been told "no" in her life.

Finally, with an expression that could have given Ruby's puppy dog eyes some serious competition in the 'pathetic pouting' category, she rolled up her sleeve and stuck her arm out like she was offering it up for sacrifice, "This is completely barbaric," she muttered, turning her head away and squeezing her eyes shut just like Ruby did.

The sound she made when the needle actually pierced her skin was like the noise expensive crystal made when it shattered. High, sharp, and somehow exactly what Jaune would've expected from someone who probably had her food pre-cut to avoid the trauma of using a knife.

"There," Jaune said, applying a band-aid decorated with tiny smiling Ursa. He pressed the band-aid with just a bit more force than necessary, "All done."

Weiss opened her eyes and examined her arm like she was checking for permanent damage. Then, with the kind of audacity that could probably be seen from space, she looked up at him with an expectant expression, "Don't I get a lollipop for being such a model patient?"

Jaune stared at her. This was the same girl who'd just tried to bribe him, then threaten him, then demand to speak to his manager, all to avoid a vaccination that lasted literally three seconds.

"Threats and attempted bribery disqualify you from the good patient rewards program," he said, feeling a little petty but also deeply satisfied, "You can leave now."

Weiss's jaw dropped like he'd just told her that dust wasn't real and gravity was optional, "That's...That's completely unreasonable!"

"Have a nice day, Miss Schnee."

She grumbled under her breath as she stood up, grabbed her credit card, and stomped her way outside, heels clicking loudly against the tiled floor.

Patient 3: Yang Xiao Long

Yang Xiao Long strutted into the infirmary like she owned the place, all swagger and confidence and that trademark cocky grin that had probably gotten her into (and out of) trouble more times than Jaune could count. Her blonde hair practically bounced with each step, and she planted herself in the chair with the kind of dramatic flair that suggested she'd been practicing the entrance. Jaune just gave her a long-suffering look.

"Alright, nurse boy," she said, cracking her knuckles like she was preparing for a boxing match instead of a simple vaccination, "Let's get this show on the road. I'm ready to rock and roll. No crying, no whimpering, no begging. Nothin'. Yang Xiao Long doesn't back down from some tiny ass needle!"

Jaune raised an eyebrow, already sensing that this was going to be a disaster of epic proportions. In his experience, people who had to announce how brave they were usually weren't...mostly because he'd done it himself. But hey, maybe Yang would be different. Maybe she'd actually be as tough as she claimed.

He should've known better.

The moment Jaune picked up the syringe, Yang's entire mood changed. Her arms clamped against her sides like she was trying to protect herself from an incoming attack, and she started... well, there wasn't really a better word for it than powering up,

"Okay, okay, I got this," she muttered, closing her eyes and taking deep, exaggerated breaths, "Just gotta focus my chi. Channel my inner strength. I am Yang Xiao Long, destroyer of nightclubs, puncher of Ursa, fear me you tiny piece of medical equipment!" Jaune moved closer with the needle, and Yang immediately threw up a hand, "Wait! Wait, I'm not ready yet! "I'm not ready yet! Give me like... thirty more seconds!"" She started bouncing in her seat, pumping her fists like she was getting ready to bench press a Goliath, "Gotta get in the zone! Feel the burn! Embrace the power!"

It continued a solid minute. Yang would hype herself up with increasingly ridiculous motivational phrases - something about being a golden dragon of unstoppable force - and then just as Jaune got within striking distance, she'd panic and start the whole process over again.

"I am fire! I am fury! I am- wait! hold on, let me just-" She took a deep breath "Okay, for real this time. I'm Yang! I'm awesome! I can totally handle a stupid little - no wait, not ready, give me another minute!"

It went on for twenty minutes. Twenty. Minutes. Jaune watched Yang cycle through what had to be every motivational speech and power-up sequence in the history of fiction, each one more ridiculous than the last. She quoted action movies, channeled anime protagonists, and at one point started doing what looked suspiciously like some kind of interpretive dance about courage.

By the time she launched into her seventh separate "pumping herself up" routine, Jaune's patience had officially died, been buried, and had flowers planted on its grave. His eye was starting to twitch, and he was pretty sure he could feel his sanity leaking out of his ears.

"I am the dragon! I am the-"

"Hey Yang!" Jaune said, pointing over her shoulder with his free hand, "What the hell is that behind you?!"

Yang immediately spun around in her chair, blonde hair whipping through the air as she looked for whatever threat that caught his attention, "What? Where? Is it a Grimm? Did Ruby break something ? Is Blake hiding in the vents again?!"

Jaune struck with the speed of someone who'd grown up with seven sisters had learned to take advantage of every distraction. The needle slipped into her exposed arm, delivered the vaccination, and was pulled before Yang even realized what had happened.

"There," he said, capping the syringe with a satisfied click, "Done."

Yang turned back to face him, blinking in confusion. She looked down at her arm where a microscopic pinprick was, then back up at Jaune, then down at her arm again. Her brain seemed to be struggling to process what had just occurred.

"You... but I didn't... when did you..."

And then Yang Xiao Long, destroyer of nightclubs, terror of dance floors, the girl who punched her way through more problems than most people faced in a lifetime, looked down at the tiny needle mark on her arm and promptly fainted dead away.

She toppled backward in her chair with all the grace of a falling tree, blonde hair spreading across the floor like a blanket. For a beat, Jaune just stood there, staring at one of Beacon's most supposedly fearsome students with a dead look in his eyes.

He sighed, the sound echoing through the infirmary. With practiced efficiency born of dealing with his sisters' various dramatic episodes over the years, he grabbed Yang under the arms and hauled her onto the nearest examination bed. She was heavier than she looked - probably all that muscle from punching things - but he managed to get her settled with only minimal grunting.

"Completed," he muttered, making a check mark next to her name on his list, "Next."

Yang would probably wake up in a few minutes claiming she totally didn't faint like a little bitch. But for now, Jaune was just grateful for the temporary peace and quiet.

Patient 4: Blake Belladonna

Jaune's next patient didn't walk into the infirmary so much as get delivered. Professor Port wheeled in what appeared to be a human-sized animal cage with all the ceremony of a man delivering a particularly exotic zoo specimen. Blake Belladonna was crammed inside, crouched in a position that looked deeply uncomfortable and extremely undignified for someone who usually prided herself on grace and stealth. This was the girl who made falling on her (generous) ass look dignified.

"Tally ho!" Port said cheerfully, like he hadn't just brought in a caged teenager, "One Miss Belladonna, as requested! Had to pull her out of the ventilation shafts! Ho ho, good luck, my boy!" And with that, he practically sprinted out of the room, leaving Jaune alone with what was apparently Beacon's most elusive patient.

Blake immediately began rattling the bars of her cage with was much dignity as she could muster. Which wasn't much, "This is discrimination!" she yelled, amber eyes blazing with righteous fury, "You can't cage me just because I'm a Faunus! This is a violation of every civil rights law in Vale! I'll have Beacon shut down before the weeks' done!"

Jaune stared at the cage, trying to process the fact that his day had somehow escalated to the point where he was looking at a caged student like this was a perfectly normal Tuesday. Honestly, at this point, he wasn't even surprised. If someone told him the next patient needed to be hunted down through the Emerald Forest before they took their shot, he would have just shrugged and asked if he needed to bring his own tranquilizer darts.

"Blake," he said with the weary patience of someone who had already given up on life making sense, "If I let you out of there, will you let me give you your vaccination?" He already knew what the answer would be. He learned to recognize that particular gleam in a patient's eye - the one that said they were about to make his life way more difficult than it needed to be.

"Absolutely not!" Blake said, somehow managing to look defiant despite being folded into a space roughly the size of a large dog crate, "Everyone knows that vaccines are Atlas poison designed to control the Faunus population! They're injecting us with human cells to suppress our natural abilities! I'm not falling for your government conspiracy!"

Jaune slowly closed his eyes and counted to ten. Then he counted to ten again, just to be safe. Blake Belladonna - former White Fang member (cause apparently Ozpin had no issue with ex-terrorists at his school), master of stealth, apparently capable of reading entire novels in the time it took most people to blink - was an anti-vaxxer.

He had absolutely no idea if she genuinely believed the conspiracy theory nonsense she was spouting or if she was just playing it up to get out of her injection. With Blake, it was honestly impossible to tell. She could've been a secret genius playing 4D chess or she could've been completely serious about thinking the Atlesian military was using flu shots to mind-control cat people. Both seemed equally likely given his experiences at Beacon so far.

Either way, he was definitely not getting paid enough for this.

Time to bring out the big guns.

"I'll be right back," Jaune said, stepping out of the infirmary and leaving Blake to continue her very loud and very creative rant about civil liberties and Faunus rights. He returned a minute later carrying what was possibly the most powerful weapon in his arsenal: Zwei, Professor Qrow's corgi. The little dog was practically vibrating with excitement, tongue lolling out and tail wagging fast enough to generate its own wind current.

The moment Blake saw the dog, she went absolutely feral. And not in the cool, ninja-like way she usually did. This was pure, primal, cat-meets-dog panic, "No!" she shrieked, pressing herself as far back into the cage as physically possible, "You keep that THING away from me!" Wow, he felt offended for the little guy. Zwei, for his part, only got happier with Blake's reaction and immediately started trying to stick his nose through the bars of the cage, tail wagging even harder.

"Here's the deal, Blake," Jaune said, holding Zwei like he was brandishing the world's fluffiest sword, "Either you stick your arm through those bars and let me give you your shot, or I'm putting Zwei in there with you. And I've seen this little guy squeeze through spaces way smaller than the gaps in that cage." It wasn't an empty threat. Once, Zwei somehow managed to fit himself through the mail slot in Team RWBY's room door, apparently just because he thought it'd be fun. The laws of physics seemed to be more like friendly suggestions when it came to this particular corgi.

Blake let loose with a string of profanity that would have made a Menagerie sailor blush, which he didn't wanna repeat because it was pretty offensive even by Beacon standards. But eventually, with the kind of defeated rage that only came from being completely and utterly outmaneuvered, she thrust her arm through the bars, "I hate you," she snarled as Jaune quickly administered the injection, "I hate this school. I hate vaccines. I hate dogs. I hate-"

"All done," Jaune said, stepping back and releasing Zwei. The corgi immediately lost interest in Blake and wandered off to sniff something more entertaining...by jumping five feet out the window. He wasn't worried. Little guy was almost indestructible.

Blake was still ranting about her rights and the systematic oppression of Faunus when Jaune wheeled her cage back outside and left it in the hallway for someone else to deal with. Twenty-six more patients to go today, and he was already considering a career change. Maybe going back to the family farm wasn't a bad idea.

Princess Blake - Jaune x Blake oneshot

Per the vote, here's Princess Blake. A Blake more like her RWBY comics counterpart who apparently grew up sheltered, innocent, and naive rather than protesting when she was like 7 according to the canon show.

If people are interested, I may make a second chapter. This was just a short thing to keep the juices flowing.

[line break]

Vale was such an interesting place!

That was the thought that ran through Blake's mind as she looked up at all the towering buildings. Everything was so big. Menagerie buildings were short and mostly made of wood out of necessity. Even her own house, the biggest building in Menagerie, paled in comparison to everything here. Instead of simple wood structures bunched up together out of necessity, just about everything was made out of brick and mortar. Another rarity you wouldn't normally see in Kuo Kuana.

And there were so many people! Menagerie had a lot of people too - sometimes too much for what space they had - but they were all Faunus. Here, there Humans and Faunus. Blake stared at a human family and their child walking by. It was so odd seeing people without animal traits. There were Faunus with subtle traits like her friend Ilia, but the ones she'd met could be counted on one hand. Now they were everywhere and Faunus were the exception. How strange.

Blake took a deep breath and coughed. Even air in Vale was different from home. Dust pollution in the air led to an artificial taste that made her throat itch, "Ahem." She sniffed and wrinkled her nose, coughing into her dark kimono's sleeves. The clothes were different too. Menagerie style was either traditional or made with the tropical weather in mind. Practical. Fashion wasn't really a consideration back home. Clothes like her kimono were the exception, not the rule.

She was about to go to the closest shop - From Dust Till Dawn - when she heard a cough behind her, "Excuse me. my lady?" She turned around and saw Jaune giving her that sweet, awkward smile, "Maybe we should stick to the schedule? We're supposed to go to the restaurant first, and then check three shops maximum."

"Come on, Jaune!" Blake pouted, "This is the first time I've ever been outside of home! I don't wanna be stuck on some strict schedule. We can go eat later." She gestured to the shop, "Look at all that Dust! Back home, everything's imported and assigned."

"My lady-"

"And stop calling me my lady! My name's Blake!" She laughed. Jaune was so sweet, but always so formal too. She knew that he was assigned by her father to keep an eye on her, but she didn't know why. She could take care of herself! She was trained by actual Huntresses and fought Grimm that endangered Kuo Kuana. If anyone tried to attack her, she'd send them packing.

"Lady Blake." Blake huffed. He was so stubborn, "Your dad gave us a schedule and said we should keep to it."

"Well he's not here right now, is he?" Blake pointed out reasonably, "Besides, I'm not saying we should go on a crime spree or anything, just explore. We have a whole week of being in Vale before I go to Beacon. This is a chance to have fun!" She never thought about being an actual licensed Huntress, but then she realized it was her chance to both get a licsense and explore the world past Kuo Kuana's walls. So she took the chance with both hands.

"But-"

"Come on, stop being such a buzzkill." She held his hand and dragged him to the store. Dad gave her some spending money and warned her to be careful. The big city was full of temptation, he said. One day you could have a wallet full of lien and then then the next you were missing your right shoe. She promised him she'd be careful. Probably. Maybe. Okay, maybe not, but she was smart enough to set aside a portion of funds as necessity and give it to Jaune in case of an emergency.

Blake stepped inside with a bright smile on her face.

Next to her, Jaune Arc was feeling a lot less enthusiastic.

The blonde sighed as he was dragged along by his charge. How did he get into this mess, he wondered again. It was all supposed to be simple. Dad and Ghira Belladonna were apparently old friends and dad voluntold him to help out their daughter as part of his punishment for trying to sneak his way into Beacon. Cause apparently trying to sneak into a Huntsman Academy without even knowing what Aura was put him on the hotseat with the rest of his family. Except Saphron; she found it funny.

So this was part of his punishment. Babysitting a girl with Huntress level training but somehow had less street smarts than him; and that was saying something considering he once called someone homeboy unironically a year ago. But even he made Blake look world weary. For someone who could spank Grimm with her hands tied behind her back (literally, he saw her do it once),

"Jaune, look at this one!" Blake grabbed a Dust crystal and presented it to him like it was a prize. Despite everything, Jaune smiled. Blake wasn't a bad person, she was just...sheltered. From what Mr. Belladonnatold him, she'd been cooped up in Menagerie since before she was born and never left before today. Even he'd gone to Vale and Mistral a few times on trips for the family business. That practically made him a wise mentor by comparison.

Case in point...

Jaune's eyes flicked to the side to check on the rest of the store. The shopkeeper was tending to the register as usual, but he saw the security guard by the door eyeing the Dust crystal Blake was holding with a slight glare; as if she was about to run off with it in her hands after showing it to him. His hand drifted towards his nightstick, and for just a second, he almost hoped he'd try something so Blake could kick his butt.

Jaune felt a burst of annoyance for his client. Racism back home was rarer compared to the big cities. They had some old timers who ranted about how they "should've won that war", but they were a loud minority. The kingdoms were different. Safety behind the walls meant that people didn't have to worry about the Grimm overruning them. Which meant they made reasons to find problems. The Faunus were just the easiest target. Even if Vale wasn't as bad as Atlas and Mistral (there was a reason those two places weren't picked), they still had their prejudices.

Blake, bless her heart, didn't notice the looks. She just kept showing off the crystal, "That's a really nice color. You planning to buy it?" he asked

"Hm, maybe..." She held it up to the light, "My Semblance can use Dust crystals, the purer the better. I'm guessing I can get at least half a dozen uses out of this? But I'm not sure its worth it..." She put it back on the shelf. The guard was still giving her the side-eye. Jerk, "I was hoping to get some upgrades for Gambol Shroud too. Oh, and maybe a new combat outfit."

"What's wrong witht he one you packed?"

"Nothing's wrong with it, but that was the stuff mom and dad wanted me to wear. Who wear's their parents' hand me downs while training to be a Huntress?" Her ears flattened against her head. Cute, "Maybe you can help me pick out an outfit? You look like you have a great sense of fashion!"

Jaune smiled again and rubbed his nose cockily, suddenly feeling a lot less tired, "Well, I don't like to brag or anything..." he said, sounding just a bit smug. He was supposed to keep a professional distance, according to dad, but mom told him that was dumb. Professional didn't mean being cold. Plus calling her 'My Lady' and 'Lady Blake' felt weird even if she was basically Menagerie's princess. Last he checked, most princesses couldn't fight Nevermores.

"Teach me your ways, Master Jaune," she said, looking up at him with stars in her eyes.

Master Jaune...he liked the sound of that. Not in a weird way or anything! "Well...okay." He was being totally professional about this. He was just helping out his client to prepare for Beacon. Nothing wrong with that!

An hour later and he and Blake went to his favorite clothing store. He knew a lot about fashion because of his sisters. You'd think with seven of them they'd have looked to each other for advice and girl talk, but no, they dragged poor little Jaune into their shopping sprees. He'd seen enough skirts, blouses, and women's fashion to last a lifetime.

So of course, he made sure that Blake would be different.

"Uh...Jaune, are you sure about this?" She spun around slowly.

"Of course I'm sure." He rubbed his nose again and grinned. He'd gone all out. A black hoodie with a cat logo at the front, baggy jeans, and sneakers. The ultimate in fashion. Who needed all those fancy combat skirts and accessories? What you needed was loose, comfy, and easily replacable! You could buy a dozen jeans for the price of one combat skirt! Who needed all that expensive crap? Huntsmen let their skills and weapons do the fighting.

"But..." She raised her right arm and the sleeve rolled up slightly, "I dunno, this feels kinda...basic, doesn't it?"

"Basic?" Jaune gasped, "You said I have a great sense of fashion! Were you lying?"

"N-No, of course not! It's just..." She looked down at the hoodie again, "This style really works for you, but I'm not sure if it works for me. Your sense of fashion isn't bad. Just different from me." She kicked her leg experimentally, "My fighting style focuses a lot on kicks and acrobatics. Hoodies and loose jeans can get tangled up or grabbed. Actually, hold on." She disappeared - literally just phased out like a shadow - and came back half a minute later with a bundle of clothes, "I wanna try this!"

He didn't get a chance to say anything before she went back to the dressing room and closed the curtain. Jaune sighed and sat back down on the nearby bench. So much for being the fashion master. Plus the casual usage of her Semblance reminded him that he was less a bodyguard and more a babysitter. Oh well, maybe he could use this as proof that he wasn't a total screw-up. Helping the daughter of Menagerie's chieftain get to Beacon intact scored a lot of brownie points, right?

Not that that was the only reason he was doing it, of course.

The curtain slipped and Jaune was completely speechless when Blake walked out. He knew she was pretty - Mr. Belladonnaproudly said that she took the best from both himself and Mrs. Belladonna - but he was still surprised by how effortlessly beautiful she looked. She'd changed into a purple tank top, a sleevless black hoodie (that still had the cat logo), a black combat skirt, and purple stockings. She kept the sneakers he suggested from before, which he found flattering for reasons he couldn't quite explain.

"What do you think?" She smiled and twirled for him again. The skirt swished with the movement, but true to the product description, didn't ride up or expose anything at all, "I figured a blend of both our styles would work best."

"Wow, Blake. You look...great."

"Really?" Her smile was so bright that he almost looked away.

"Really." He nodded.

"Great! I'll go buy it and wear it out." She bundled up her kimono and made her way to the register with Jaune following. At least this time, there weren't any guards giving her dirty looks. Not for the first time that way, Jaune found himself sad for Blake. She didn't do anything wrong, but people saw her cat ears and immediately judged her for it. It always felt so...dumb to him. It was like if someone saw his blonde hair and immediately started treating him like garbage.

They barely made it outside before Blake bumped into someone, "Ugh, watch where you're going!" a high, haughty voice said. The owner of the voice looked like she stepped right out of a fairy tale. Pale skin, snow white hair, and a dress that just screamed money. Atlesian by the looks of her. He'd only seen them a few times when some clients went to buy certain vintages from their winery. Always the rich types with a lot of money to spend.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Blake bowed politely.

The girl's face, already set in a frown, puckered even worse when she saw Blake's twitching cat ears. Uh-oh, "We're really sorry," Jaune cut in before it could escalate, "We weren't watching where we were going." Not true, but he wasn't going to pick a fight when the job was to keep Blake out of trouble.

Her eyes narrowed as they shifted to him. Before he could drag Blake out, the white-haired girl scoffed, "I'm surprised you let the cat walk around without a leash."

...

Jaune almost punched the girl in the face even with the rapier hanging from her side that marked her as a Huntress (or a really dedicated cosplayer). Some guys were told to never hit girls. Mama Arc and seven sisters told him that it didn't matter what someone had between their legs if they were being jerks.

The tense atmosphere was interrupted when Blake gasped and turned to him, "Jaune, you have a cat? Why didn't you show me? I love cats!"

Jaune blinked, then blinked again. He knew Blake was sheltered, but still. He didn't know whether to be relieved or annoyed that the insult flew completely over her head. Even the girl looked shocked, her mouth parted but without the expected second insult. Jaune took it as a chance to slip away. He grabbed Blake's left hand and tugged her away before the girl could let out another barb. This time, Blake might not miss it.

He seriously hoped Blake didn't see that girl again. She was definitely a bitch.

"Jaune, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong! Just...feeling hungry! We were supposed to go to the restaurant first, yeah?" he said with a forced grin. The crowd suddenly felt suffocating and he gently tugged her into a nearby alley to get some breathing room. Thinking about that girl was giving him an aneurysm.

"Oh! Yeah, I lost track of time. Sorry." Her cat ears wilted. Jaune winced. Please don't look sad! His heart was already in pain! "You've been really nice to me, Jaune. I know it's your job and all, but thanks."

"C-Come on, it's not just because it's my job." Jaune stopped and turned to face her, "We're...We're friends, right? My mom always said strangers are just friends you haven't met. And we're not strangers anymore!"

Blake's eyes widened and she suddenly held his right hand with both of her's, "That sounds great. Yes, we're definitely friends." She laughed, "My first Human friend. Hopefully I can find even more at Beacon. I heard that it's mostly Humans there."

"Well...there's definitely gonna be some Faunus there too."

"Sure, but I don't want to just make friends with Faunus." Her ears perked up, "I want to make friends with all sorts of people from different kingdoms. If they're anything like you, I can't wait." Ugh. Why was she so pure? This was so unfair, "I just wish you could come with me to Beacon."

"I do too." The reminder of his failed transcripts made his shoulders sag, "But I don't have any training or Aura."

"Oh, that's easy." She clapped her hands, "I could teach you like mom, dad, and Adam taught me. As for your Aura, I could unlock it." She said the last part like she was commenting on the weather. Jaune waited, then waited a bit more for...what? The other shoe to drop? For Blake to tell him she was kidding? No, Blake didn't do things like that. If she said she'd train him and unlock his Aura, she'd do it.

A big part of him wanted to scream yes and get on his knees thanking her, but another part reminded him that he wasn't supposed to take advantage of her. His only job was to keep her out of trouble until she went to Beacon next week. After that, she'd attend the academy and they wouldn't see each other again outside of maybe some scroll calls and the occasional visit to Domremy if she felt like dropping in. His dad and Mr. Belladonna made it clear that they'd have a...talk with him if he went any farther than that.

Especially Mr. Belladonna with those big arms of his...

He didn't get the chance to say yes or no (he didn't know which) when a new voice cut in, "Huh. Couple of lovebirds over here, huh?" The words came out in a raspy snarl. Jaune turned and felt his stomach sink at the sight of half a dozen thugs walking towards them. And yes, they were thugs. He was taught to never judge a book by the cover, but what else would you call a bunch of guys dressed in chains and tattoos while brandishing switchblades and crowbars.

And all of them were Faunus. At least today was being equal opportunity in how crap it was. He looked back and winced at the sight of two thugs camping the alley entrance. Not out of fear, but something else.

Blake tilted her head to the side, "We're not dating."

One of the thugs, probably the boss judging by how much bigger he was, blinked, "That's not- fuck this." He raised the switchblade higher, "Give us your money, catgirl. You too, humie. Play nice and we won't have to cat either of you two."

"Money? Do you need help?" Jaune almost slammed his head against the wall as Blake fished her wallet out of the hoodie, "I guess I could give you some lien, but I need to keep at least some of it for myself. I can't spend all of it before I go to school."

"Does this look like a negotiation to you?" Another one of the thugs growled, "Your money, all of it. And give us that thoodie too for being such a smartass!"

"My hoodie? No, you can't have it. I can give you some lien, like I said, but-"

"Blake, they're mugging us," Jaune said bluntly.

Blake blinked and then made a soft "oh" sound, "Ah! Dad warned me to be careful about Humans. He didn't say anything about being mugged by other Faunus." Blake put her wallet back into her hoodie, "I get it. Jaune, please wait a couple of minutes."

"Ugh, I promised your dad I'd keep you out of trouble..." Jaune groaned.

"Don't worry, it'll be our little secret." Blake winked.

"Hey, bitch! I said-"

Jaune turned away and sighed as Blake absolutely demolished the gang. It took less than a minute for them to go from cocky and threatening to crying for their mommies as Blake completely stomped them. Sometimes literally, in the case of one Walrus Faunus who was kicked into the air before Blake jumped and stomped on his back to send him crashing back down hard enough to make him bounce. He almost felt sorry for the poor bastards. Blake was sheltered, but she was trained by the very best in Menagerie.

"Wait, wait, I'm sorry! I just-" The head thug, a Wolf Faunus judging by his pronounced canines, was dragged back before he could escape. That was another thing she was taught by that Adam guy, apparently. Retreating wasn't surrendering. Mr. Belladonna wasn't happy, but he at least made sure she didn't kill people.

It didn't even take a couple of minutes. He timed it. It was at the 1 minute, 27 seconds mark that the last thug was left sprawled on the ground. Blake lectured them about setting a bad example for their fellow Faunus while calling an ambulance to make sure they could get medical attention. And saying that they tried to mug the two of them so the cops would be notified too. He could only hope that Dad and Mr. Belladonna didn't find out about this.

"Mmmgh." Blake stretched her arms above her head with cat like grace. Wait, did that sound racist? "Sorry it took so long, Jaune." She wiped some dust from her skirt, "Let's go eat and then I can unlock your Aura when we get to the hotel. We can set up a training schedule after."

"Huh? But I didn't say-" Blake grabbed his hand and dragged him along, leaving the thugs on the alleyway floor like discarded trash. Jaune looked at Blake's beaming face and just sighed, letting her drag him around. It could be worse, he figured.

Two possible ideas

I'm thinking of writing something shorter to shake the rust off and I have two ideas. Just something more lighthearted and (hopefully) funny.

Idea 1: Princess Blake. The RWBY comics portray Blake as being very innocent, sheltered, and naive rather than the closed off cynic and would-be revolutionary she is in the story. This oneshot leans into it by basically making her Menagerie's princess who has Huntress level training but is naive to a fault. So Jaune, who is assigned as her minder, has to keep her out of trouble when she visits Vale and is blind to the discrimination she's facing.

Idea 2: Cop Jaune. A joke someone made on the discord about how Jaune was raised to be a cop/sherrif by his dad...with all the negative stereotypes that implies. Like when Blake reaches into her pocket he screams that she's going for her gun and pepper sprays her. Then he defends himself by saying he feared for his life. You know what those Faunus are like. He was just defending himself.

So yeah, two different Blake/Jaune stories with completely contrasting tones. Idea 1 has Jaune be the put upon babysitter who is nonetheless fond of Blake. Idea 2 has Blake fucking hating Jaune for being a dirty cop stereotype.

Vote for which one you want. I might do both down the line, but the one voted will be the one that comes out first.

A Date with Disaster (Dragonslayer) - Chapter 1 of 2

Dragonslayer story. It was supposed to be a oneshot, but the setup ended up going longer than I thought. Chapter 2 will come out later.

[line break]

Yang Xiao Long was someone who had it all. Skills? Best in her year (besides Pyrrha, and Cereal Girl had that bullshit Semblance). Confidence? Through the roof. Charsima? Guys were lining up for her smile. Maybe not literally, but they were there. She was the hottest chick in Patch and was still a Beacon 9/10. And it would've been a 10/10 if she didn't have to compete with people like Blakey, Weiss Cream, Cereal Girl, and that weird Cinder chick who cackled about nefarious plans.

Plus she was hot. Muscles for days, the objectively best hair in Beacon, and tits that would make men (and most women) go hubba hubba awooga. Complete with cartoon sound effects cause they were just that good. The Girls™ had gotten her a lot of passes once puberty hit her like a truck. Plus it meshed super good with rebellious bad girl party animal image. She would've looked like a princess playing pretend if she looked like Weiss.

But for all her many, many assets (heh), she'd never so much as kissed a boy. Oh sure, she'd gone out on dates before and went to dozens of parties, but she'd never gotten that far. She'd barely even held hands. Way too many assholes thought she'd put out after the first date and got a knuckle sandwich instead of a kiss when they pushed after she said no. Daddy didn't raise no fool. And neither did Uncle Qrow (who definitely wasn't getting laid as much as he claimed).

She thought Beacon wouldn't be much different. Sure, being in a true Huntsmen Academy instead of a Combat School like Signal was a change, but it was always the same crap. Guys in both places tended to be meatheads who only cared about showing off by killing Grimm and flexing their muscles. Cavemen, all of them. Like future Huntresses were gonna be impressed by that. Some, sure, but Huntresses could kill Grimm too, dipshits. She wasn't gonna be impressed just cause Cardin killed an Ursa. She did that before getting into Beacon.

Not to say that she didn't appreciate the show - she was a woman, after all - but a good show didn't mean she was gonna drop her shorts and put her ass up.

Which brought her to her current problem: Jaune Arc. Okay, Jaune wasn't the problem. He was...alright, he had his own flaws. He cheated his way into Beacon (Weiss Cream was NOT happy when she found that out), he had some real pride issues before Cereal Girl knocked it out of him, and...well, that onesie. It spoke for itself.

But so what? People had their hiccups. Weiss used to be snobby and racist, Blake used to be a terrorist (which probably should've been a bigger deal, but whatever), and Ruby knew more about rifles than interpersonal relationships. Everyone had their flaws...well, except her. She was perfect, but that took years of being concentrated awesome. Not everyone could get to that level of cool perfection, of being the rebel icon everyone looked up to.

Wait, what was she talking about again? Oh yeah. Her problem of having a massive crush on Jaune.

She had no idea how it happened! Seriously, his first impression was puking on her favorite pair of boots, for Brothers' sake! That should've been an automatic disqualification right there. Especially once she saw that onesie. Plus he had that massive crush on Weiss and (poorly) serenedaded her. By all rights, she should've looked past him and found someone more like Sun (before Blake called dibs, as much as she keeps denying it). Someone more her speed, really.

But then she started to notice him. It made sense at first. He was Ruby's best friend besides Weiss and the two hung out playing games in their dorm room. That was normal. Sure, she teased him and called him Vomit Boy cause of his horrible puking incident, but it wasn't anything serious. At first, she figured that would've been that. He'd just be Ruby's dorky friend who puked on her boots and playes games with her precious little sis. Maybe they'd even run into each other occassionally after graduation, but that would be it.

Instead, she found herself looking at him more and more. The first thing he noticed was how good he was with Ruby. A lot of people tended to get...put off by her sister's quirks. Ruby was hecking adorable, but her gun rants and speeches about Scythe Superiority™ tended to get on people's nerves; even Weiss had her days where she needed Ruby-free holidays. Not Jaune. He hung out with her whenever he wasn't hanging out with team JNPR or training with Pyrrha.

She almost thought that the two of them would've gotten together before Ruby suddenly announced she was dating Penny. Made sense once they found out she was an android. A walking weapon's platform who Ruby could upgrade. It was her (wet) dream come true. No shock there.

The second thing she noticed was that he was actually a hard worker, which was pretty surprising considering the whole fake transcripts thing. Pyrrha put him to work and he didn't whine a single time. Impressive, considering even she would've flagged from P-Money's personal training.

The third thing was that...well, he was just a nice guy. Not flawless - again, nobody was (except her) - but still nice after he got his head out of his ass. Different than the usual Beacon meatheads. Even the nicer guys in Beacon acted like they wanted to be the biggest dog in the room. She didn't really hate them for it since it was pretty much impossible not to be that way given Huntsmen culture, but it did mean she got seriously tired of guys trying to impress her by talking about what kind of Grimm they killed. Yeah, team RWBY killed a Nevermore during Initiation. Not impressed.

That wasn't to say that Jaune didn't try to look cool, but there was something endearing with how he did it. Earnest instead of using it to try and get laid. Even the way he tried to woo Weiss was...okay, it was kind of annoying, but in an endearing sort of way. Plus he backed off when Weiss sat him down and told him that she didn't find it cute or quirky. Another plus.

The fourth thing was he'd gotten hot. Those late night training sessions with Pyrrha were seriously paying off. Those corded arms, those broad shoulders, those abs when he lifted up his hoodie to wipe away the sweat. Sure, there were bigger and buffer guys at Beacon, but there was something about Jaune that drew her eye. Maybe it was how he didn't seem to realize just how he looked. The only time he ever talked about it was when he let out this dorky little smile about how strong he was getting. She could practically see a tail wagging behind him when he said it.

The first time she realized how bad she had it was when she kept checking him out. Looking at hot guys? Fine, sure, everyone did that. Even Weiss Cream, as much as she tried to deny it. But she just kept on looking. And then when she caught other women doing it, she felt this little tug of anger in her chest. It took her a while to realize she was jealous. It was...a new feeling. She'd never gotten jealous before. She was always on the other end of it back then. Guys thinking they owned her after a single date. Pissed her off to no end.

The feeling only got worse as days passed. She didn't have some big angry meltdown like those trashy books Blake "secretly" read, but she did find herself getting more and more annoyed. She even clicked her tongue when Jaune showed up for his and Ruby's daily video game brawls and asked to join in. Ruby looked confused and said she was usually at the club by now, but Yang had brushed her off. She could tell her little sis didn't believe her, though. They could read each other like open books.

The next day, she decided to deal with this...thing and go on a date with Jaune. Problem: she had no fucking idea how. Oh sure, she'd been on dates before, but it was always guys (and some girls, cause she had broad appeal) asking her out. She was never the one to make the first move. Never had to. Now, she was...stuck.

It should've been simple! All she had to do was head over to where Jaune was, lean forward (that was important), and ask him out on a date. Simple, easy, maybe ten seconds tops. But every time she thought about it, she suddenly found herself freezing up. What if he said no, something in the back of her mind whispered. It'd be awkward. She'd have to sit across from him after he said it and then everyone would know her as the girl who got rejected. UGHHH! She couldn't take it!

Which was how she found herself here.

Yang sat on her bed across Ruby, Weiss, and Blake. The three of them looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to spill the big secret she asked to talk to them about, "Right, so..." Yang sighed and rubbed the back of her head, "I need your advice about...romance." She cringed. Saying it like that made it sounds so pathetic. Weiss' brows raised up to her hairline, Blake closed her book, and Ruby looked both surprised and excited.

"Romance?! Who is it?!" Ruby leaned forward. A couple of months ago, she would've stuck her tongue out and said that was gross. Dating Penny really changed her, "Is it Blake? You two have been hanging around a lot lately."

"No, Ruby, it's not me." Blake rolled her eyes then hesitated, "It isn't me...right?"

"Try not to sound too eager." Yang scoffed, "No, it's not Blakey."

"It isn't me, is it? I've seen the lingering looks in the showers." Weiss crossed her arms, "I'll admit that I consider you a good friend, Yang, but I'm not interested in-"

"Oh for fuck's sake, it's Jaune!" Yang threw her hands up, "Vomit boy! Our resident knight! Mister tall, blond, and muscely! It's not anybody here!" If they suggested Ruby next, she was gonna start throwing hands! And for the record, she wasn't staring at her, Ice Queen. She like her partners a little less bony.

The room went quiet for a beat before Ruby squealed, hands covering her mouth as she bounced in her chair. Blake blinked, then blinked again before tilting her head to the side. But the biggest reaction was Weiss. She gasped like she'd just gotten stabbed and looked at Yang with an unreadable expression, "Arc? You have an...infatuation with Jaune Arc?" Her words came out slowly, like she was talking to a kid, "I need to be clear about this since this sounds...implausible."

Yang's cheeks flushed and she suddenly felt defensive for a guy she wasn't even dating, "Hey, he's not that bad!" Weiss raised a brow that said a thousand words, "Alright, so maybe he was pretty cringe a few months ago, but he's gotten better! Even you have to admit that!" Weiss pursed her lips but didn't disagree. She'd take it, "And yeah, I wanna date the guy." She didn't say the L word. That was way too much too fast. She just wanted to see where this went.

"Oh, that's so sweet!" Ruby finally stopped bouncing, "My big sis and my guy bestie getting together! Ooh, maybe we can have double dates with Penny!"

"Moving a bit too fast there, Rubes." Yang laughed. Ruby always had a way of making her smile, "That's actually the first problem. I don't..." She paused, trying to find the right words, "I don't really know how to ask him out."

"You? Having trouble saying what's on your mind? I doubt it." Blake scoffed, "I know you, Yang. There's no chance of that."

"Hey! I can't always be my awesome self! Sometimes I have off-days!" Yang huffed and crossed her arms, "I just...it's gonna be awkward if he says no!"

"Why would it be? I rejected Arc over a done times and he still had no issues sitting across from me at lunchtime," Weiss said, "Frame it as something casual. A friendly outing, perhaps? Don't just club him over the head and drag him to our room."

"I wouldn't do that! I've got class, Weiss Cream."

"I've seen your secret stash of booze. I have my doubts."

"Weiss is right," Blake cut in before they could start bickering, "Just text him right now. He won't even think anything about it. I heard him talking about that new Spruce Willis movie that came out. What was the name? Die Harder?"

"Die Harder: The Legend Only Dies Thrice," Ruby said, "Penny and I were gonna watch it too."

"You really think it's that simple? Just...text him?"

"Why not? You've done it with others before." Weiss hummed, "I have to admit, Yang, this is...unexpected. You always came across as confident to a fault. Emphasis on fault."

"Love you too, Ice Queen." She sighed, "Alright, so I'll text him later, but that's just the first problem." Another beat, "See, I...I dunno what I'm supposed to do. On a date, I mean."

"You've been on dates before. You've bragged over and over about how experienced you were," Blake said.

"Yeah! You went on dates with a bunch of guys back at Signal. There was David and Mark and Iris and-"

"Alright, Ruby, we don't have all night," Yang cut in, "Those dates back then...I didn't care about them. I treated them like hanging out with friends. If it went any further? Great. If it didn't? No skin off my nose. But with Jaune, it's..." She wrung her hands together, "I don't wanna mess it up, you know? If I fuck this up then I don't get a second chance and I'm gonna feel awful about the whole thing. Then it's gonna be you three's problem cause I'm gonna be really damn annoying about it."

"Horror of horrors," Weiss said dryly, but she was smiling, "Well, you came to the right place, Yang. Especially given Arc's unwanted infatuation with me a few months back." Her smile turned smug, "While his attentions weren't welcome, I can't deny his taste. He clearly prefers elegance, beauty, and grace." She gestured to Yang, "You have your own appeal, of course, but my qualities are clearly what drew Arc's attraction. I can't blame him. Atlas elegance is clearly in short supply around here."

"That's cause Beacon's not full of snobs!" Ruby cut in. Weiss looked offended but Ruby barreled on before she could reply, "Don't listen to her! What you need is to get on Jaune's level! Games, comic books, guns! Just go for those three things and Jaune'll be eating outta your hands!"

"Uh...shouldn't you be telling me to be myself?" Yang asked.

"Why? If that was gonna work, you would've asked Jaune out already instead of asking us for advice." Yang blinked. Since when did her baby sis turn into such a savage? "Oh, oh, oh! Combat skirts too! That...half skirt thing you're using isn't gonna cut it."

"As much as I disagree with most of Ruby's suggestions, she's correct on that front." As if to emphasize the words, Weiss crossed her legs, "Combat skirts are objectively superior to shorts or pants and Jaune clearly has a good eye."

"But don't forget to talk about guns! That's important!" Ruby added, "Jaune gets this happy little smile when I talk about forgotten weapons!"

"Yeah...I think you're a bit biased there, Rubes." She filed their suggestions away anyway. Couldn't hurt, right? "What about you, Blakey? Any advice for your lovable partner?"

"Hm." Blake made a show of steepling her hands together. She was trying to play it calm and cool, but Yang could see how excited she was. Months with Blake as a partner allowed her to see the subtle tells, "I think Ruby and Weiss are wrong." Both of them looked at Blake like she just grew a second head, "I don't really know a lot about Jaune, but think about it. He's already spent months hanging out with Ruby and going after Weiss. He's seen it all. He needs something new."

"Excuse me? Are you implying something, Blake?" Weiss pursed her lips.

"Just saying that something fresh would be good." Blake's lips quirked up in a smug little smile, "Yang, you wear your heart on your sleeve. That helps in a lot of ways, but it also means people know what they're getting into. Where's the mystery? The hidden depths? People want to peel back layers. If there's nothing there then the exictement dims. The best romance stories are the ones with twists and turns, Yang. Straightforward vanilla is so...vanilla."

Yang rolled her eyes. Romance? Was that what she called her trashy books? Whatever helped her sleep at night.

"You seem rather confident of that, Blake. Do you have any proof besides your...literature?" Weiss asked.

Blake raised a brow, "You mean besides the fact that four people have asked me out this week, including Sun?" Okay, she definitely couldn't hide how smug she sounded. All three of them glared at her. Weiss was having no luck with Neptune, Ruby had to literally spell out to Penny that she wanted to date her, and Yang...well, she already said. Meanwhile, Blake was getting guys (and some gals) practically on their knees for her. There were even rumors about a battle royale taking place so they got a crumb of Blake's attention.

"Jaune didn't ask you out, though," Ruby pointed out.

"For now." She hated how confident Blake sounded, "Not that I'm interested in him, so Yang getting together with him is for the best." Oh, how generous, "But yeah, the point stands. Yang, you're...open. That's a good thing, really, but for someone like Jaune, you have to keep him wanting for more. Give him just a glimpse of who you are underneath. Once he gets a taste, he'll keep coming back for more." Uh...was she talking about dating or selling him drugs?

"What do you propose, Blake? Reading in a corner and hoping it draws Arc's attention?"

"No." Blake wrinkled her nose, "I'm saying she should keep her cards close to her chest. Entice him by showing she's more than who he thinks she is." Like what, Yang thought. She was pretty much what she said she was. The best big sister on Remnant, a future kickass Huntress, an icon for rebels everywhere, and so hot she basically broke the scale. Those were all amazing, sure, but it wasn't anything she hid. That false humility crap just got annoying.

...Okay, so maybe she had some issues with her egg donor running off, but that wasn't her fault. That was Raven being a bitch, and she doubted Jaune wanted to hear about her mommy issues.

The three of them continued to bicker about what she should do...while completely ignoring her. Great. Yang sighed and left the room with none of them even realizing. Ugh, this sucked. Why did this have to happen to her now? For the longest time, all she ever wanted was to find Raven so she could punch her in the face for being a deadbeat bitch then spend the rest of her youth having fun. Going on adventures, seeing the world, saving people.

Now she was thinking about stupid Jaune and his stupid muscles and his stupid smile and-

"Yang?"

"AH!" Yang jumped up and turned around with her fists up. Jaune's eyes widened and he took a step back, "Vom- Jaune! Fuck, you scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry, sorry! I saw you wandering around looking...distracted. Wanted to check in on you." He smiled and rubbed the back of his head. Yang's heart thumped and she grit her teeth. If Blake was here, she would've said some weird Mistral shit about her going "doki doki", whatever the hell that meant, "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah! Totally fine!" She forced a grin on her face that was just a little too wide, "Just...thinking about that new Die Hard movie coming out!"

"You too?" Jaune grinned back. Doki doki, "It's coming out this weekend. Man, I'm so pumped! Apparently this is Spruce Willis' grand finale! His last movie ever! They're gonna be pulling out all the stops to make sure it's as epic as possible!"

He was saying something else now, but Yang couldn't hear him. In one ear and out the other. Gods, she wanted to reach out, tug on his shirt, and pull him into a kiss. But she didn't. No, she had to hold herself back. Be careful.

The words came out of her mouth before she could think better.

"You wanna go out with me?" Jaune paused and looked at her, blinking in confusion. It took everything she had to not blush and instead lean against the wall, cool as a cucumber, "To watch that new movie, I mean. I asked the rest of my team, but they said no. Ruby's going out with Penny and both Blake and Weiss think they're to good for action movies." Not that she was a super big fan herself, but she didn't tell him that. She did watch them, sure, but she was a Huntress. She did more epic stuff that that in the weekends.

"Sure! Sounds fun!" Yang almost started fistpumping the air with both hands, "I asked my team too, but they were busy. Ren and Nora are visiting that new pancake house that opened up and Pyrrha has to meet her manager for some new commercial."

"Cool. So...meet you at the bullhead docks? 9 sound good?"

"Yep, see you there!"

Yang watched Jaune leave and made sure he rounded the corner before she finally started celebrating. Fist pumping, walking around, and grinning so wide you would've thought she won the lottery, "Yes, yes, yes!" she said, making sure to keep her voice down just in case Jaune could overhear. She did it! She fucking did it! Ha! She jumped up and down, stamping on the ground over and over again

The door to her right opened and Russel stuck his head out, giving her a look like she was some kind of weirdo, "What are you looking at? Wanna fight?" Russel shut the door with a slam. Yeah, good. Yang brought both hands across her face and took a deep breath. Okay, so she just asked Jaune out. Now all she had to do was make sure she didn't fuck this up. She shook her head. Be more confident, she told herself. She was Yang freaking Xiao Long! Jaune should've been counting his lucky stars!

She thought back to what happened in the room. All of them gave her advice, and all of it contradicted each other. Weiss wanted her to be some snob, Ruby thought being a gun nut with a sugar high was how she'd win, and Blake...she didn't even know how to describe what she wanted her to do.

But what other options did she have? She didn't...no, she had massive aura (in more ways than one), but she didn't know how to use it. Every time she thought about treating Jaune like the other guys she flirted with, she clammed up. No, no. She had to make sure she didn't spend the whole date being some weird stiff! She shook her head again. She still had a few days to prepare. All she had to do was follow their advice. If one didn't work? Switch to another. It was foolproof!

Yang laughed to herself. Oh yeah, this was gonna go great.

The Cat Goddess' Stream - Comedic Knightshade

Still doing the Patreon exclusive Yang x Jaune, but diverted a bit to do this at the request of someone from my discord. Hope you guys enjoy more Worst Girl Blake.

[line break]

Blake looked over her usual streamer setup. The camera, the (expensive) gaming paraphanelia, the comfy chair...it wasn't anything special by streamer standards, but it was all she needed. The startup funds were a hit to her bank account, but she knew it'd pay back dividends once she got rolling. Huntress streamers were always popular, and her being a Faunus meant that she could appeal to a niche but growing demographic. Being a Cat Faunus helped. She was considered one of the "good" ones.

She sat down and did the preparations on autopilot. She'd done this enough times over the years that everything was basically second nature to her. She made sure to adjust her top too. Her clothes weren't anything scandalous - just a black and purple tanktop and a pair of shorts (not that anyone on stream could see the latter) - but it was enough to draw attention. Plus her cat ears, which she'd decorated with a couple of gold earrings last week to match her mom. The bright yellow stuck out against the dark fur.

She put on the headphones and picked up the controller. Gaming streams were insanely popular nowadays, especially from Huntresses. Seeing the superhuman (a term she personally found reductive to Faunus) defenders of mankind playing games made people think they were Just Like Them™. Personally, Blake wasn't really interested in games (like some people she knew), but Huntress reflexes meant she was still good at them. Hard to beat someone used to fighting Grimm for a living.

Her usual haunts were multiplayer shooters. Mindless crap that let her just shoot screaming teenagers because she couldn't do that in real life without getting a murder charge, "Hey, everyone," she said as the stream started. As always, the stream immediately started filling up with the usual suspects. The gamers, the simps, the the hardcore stat obsessed weirdos. She'd gotten popular over the year she spent streaming. She made almost as much money as she did with her actual Huntress missions. Plus her being a Huntress gave her an exuse to have an irregular schedule. Not streaming for a couple of weeks? Well, she was off fighting Grimm, they couldn't blame her for that.

"Cat Goddess is back."

"Time to wreck some twelve year olds lmao"

"APEX APEX APEX"

And so on and so forth. Blake allowed herself as a small smile as she cued up for a match. The game was background noise, honestly. Just something to keep the screen filled while she did her thing, "Which character..." She made a show of deciding which one she'd play with. The chat, of course, started spamming their picks. Then she chose the least popular one just to be a contrarian. It got people more engaged for some reason.

"LMAO, Cat Goddess at it again."

"ASH IS BEST! SHOULD'VE PICKED HER!"

"Of course she picks the Cat Faunus character."

Blake rolled her eyes, "I like all Faunus, thank you very much. Rin's playstyle just appeals to me." She cued up on the lobby and waited for the countdown. She could already hear some high pitched teens whining and pursed her lips. It was a necessary evil. The stream hearing the whining rage fits was part of her brand. And it allowed her to transition to her main bread and butter. She just had to find the right button to push.

It didn't take her long to find one. Some snot nosed teenager screaming homophobic and racist garbage cause he was safe from behind a screen. Blake quickly took note of his tag and character and started aiming exclusively for him, "YO, WHAT THE FUCK?! STOP SHOOTING ME BITCH!" The brat shouted. Blake's lips curled in a predatory smile and she kept shooting him. Huntress-level reflexes meant some scrub could barely fire back.

And then the dam broke.

"UGH, YOU FUCKING ANIMAL! GO BACK IN YOUR FUCKING CAGE, CUNT!"

There we go. The perfect chance to transition topics, "Here we go again..." Blake sighed theatrically, killing the asshole with another headshot. More curses followed, "You know, you'd think people would be less racist after Menagerie's help with the Salem War, but you've still got assholes like this." She sniped him again and heard a controller being smashed. Glorious, "Really, the kingdoms should've given us way better reparations than what we got."

The chat was getting heated now. This was her bread and butter. Shooting people in the face in some online game was boring. No, her main draw was rage baiting. Talking shit and trolling online was easy. She was a class above that. She was a premier baiter. A master baiter.

"The Faunus helped so much in the Salem War. Our naval fleet was the only reason Vale didn't get overrun with sea Grimm, and what did we get? Finally getting acknowledged as a kingdom. Yeah, great. We should've gotten that decades ago." Another snipe, another curse, "Congratulations for giving us the bare minimum, kingdoms. You want a medal for not being pieces of shit?" She rolled her eyes, "Not treating us like second class citizens totally makes up for all the years of racism and slavery."

"Kingdoms are fucking assholes."

"Kingdoms: slavery is okay as long as they have animal ears. Also kingdoms: please save us from the Grimm with your fleet!"

"We should enslave them! Give them a taste of what we went through!"

Blake saw that last bit and latched on, "Yeah. I like that idea." She cued up for another match, "Those bastards in Mistral and Atlas enslaved us for years while Vale and Vacuo just watched. Then they take the chains off and we're suddenly supposed to pretend it's all good?" She scoffed. The sound was as dry as a bone, "You wanna bet how eager the humies would be if everything was reversed? Hey, sorry for all that horrible stuff we did. Friends, right?"

Blake was working herself up now. She'd made a name for herself in the Faunus circles with her...spirited talks about Faunus and Human relations. Make no mistake, she still looked at her years with the White Fang with regret, but that didn't mean she was some wallflower. She'd been protesting since she was old enough to walk and fought off police dogs when she was just seven. She knew how to get attention and fight for her race.

And now she was using it to rage bait.

"Atlas should've fallen during the Salem war."

"Vacuo's the only half-decent place besides Menagerie."

"Should've fed the politicians to the Grimm!"

"The humies all suck," she said, getting into her stride, "They treat us like shit for almost a century and needed us to bail them out during the Salem War. Now they're acting like we should give them medals for giving us the bare minimum. Wow, great job pretending like you weren't assholes for a hundred years. So glad to know that it takes the litral end of the world for us to get basic decency. Maybe if Salem comes out of her seal, we'll get a backhanded apology!"

"Cat Goddess is brutal as always."

"We should've demanded more before helping."

"Some Humies still give me looks when I cross the street. Bastards."

"Well, Weiss Schnee's kinda decent. Reformed the SDC and everything."

Blake saw the last post and bit it like a fish chomping on bait, "Weiss? Oh please." Blake scoffed, "Yeah, she fixed her daddy's company after she spent almost 20 years living off of Faunus blood money. Notice you're still living in a mansion, princess."

Her scroll buzzed. She took her eyes off the screen and found a message from Weiss, "Hey, Blake. I got some tickets to a private spa. Team RWBY spa day?"

"Sounds good! It's been a bit since the whole team got together. See you soon!"

...

What? It wasn't personal! Weiss was one of her best friends, but clicks were clicks. Talking shit about the SDC reformer got her views and interaction. And it wasn't like Weiss would ever see this anyway. Weiss considered streaming "beneath her" and learned to never look herself up online from a young age - a rule she religiously kept to even after becoming one of the heroes of Remnant. Old habits died hard. Oh well, Weiss' stubborness was her gain.

Time to up the ante.

"You know what I really hate? Those Faunus who act super submissive to humies. Where's your pride in your culture? But no, you act all meek and think that'll stop the humies from treating you like crap." Her thoughts turned to Velvet. Sweet girl, really, but the girl had a martyr complex a mile long. Thankfully, the rest of her team set her straight and now she didn't think asking for seconds when jerks like Cardin (who was still an asshole, albeit less so) tugged at her ears.

"Yeah, they give all Faunus a bad name."

"Pisses me off seeing them act so pathetic."

"They're the reason humies think we're all weak."

"Fuck it, we should all live separately from the humans. They get their place, we get ours."

"Live separately? No way! Why should we? We fought a war to not be deported to Menagerie. Why should we have move because the humans are bigots?" She was still playing the game, but she was on autopilot now. It didn't matter. She wasn't some basement dweller who obsessed about K/D ratios, "The humies should be the ones to make way for us. We can all still live in the same city, but we get Faunus only stores and fancy quarters. Give them a taste of what we've been through."

"hell yeah!"

"agreed!"

"One store owner still gives me shit when I buy groceries there!"

"I've got a list of people who deserve a collar around their neck." Blake laughed under her breath, "A few councilors, some executives, a bunch of cops. I mean, don't get me wrong, slavery is terrible, but let's just say a few people could do with some humbling. Make them work in the mines. The humans yearn for it." Her character died on-screen and another slur was thrown out, "That guy too. Throw him in the deepest, darkest pit."

"Cat Goddess advocating for slavery."

"Based Cat Goddess."

"I'm not advocating for slavery, I'm arguing for consequeces. There's a difference." She sniffed, "Some humies deserve to get knocked down a peg."

"New to the chat. You're super hostile to humans, huh?"

"I'm not hostile to them. I'm just honest. I dealt with racist garbage for almost twenty years." Blake rolled her eyes, " Look, I'm not saying every human is trash - just most of them. They think just because they don't actively call us slurs that they're better than everyone else. New flash: if you see a racist and you just ignore it, you're part of the problem. Passively disapproving doesn't make you some kind of ally or a hero. It just makes you lazy."

Blake had gotten into her stride now. She wasn't exactly lying, but she was definitely playing it up. No one cared for moderation online, especially not from female Faunus streamers. The only way to get attention was to be loud and proud.

Her eyes flicked back to the chat. People were asking if she'd ever consider dating a humie. She smirked. Jackpot.

"Dating a humie? Are you kidding me?" She sniped some jerk's head's off and teabagged his corpse, "What, do you think I'm a Pet? Not a chance. I'm a proud Faunus, not some house trained cat! I'd never-"

"Blake, honey?"

Blake's eyes widened and she turned around, meeting face-to-chest with Jaune. Jaune, her husband. Her very shirtless husband who was only wearing a pair of loose pants, meaning his abs and pecs were free for all to see, "J-Jaune?!" She squeaked, stand up in a panic. From behind her, she heard her superchats going crazy, "What are you doing here?! I told you not to interrupt me when I'm working!" She meant to sound stern. Instead, she sounded like a kid with their hand caught in the cookie jar.

"WAIT WHAT THE FUCK"

"IS THAT A HUMAN?!"

"Cat Goddess has been LYING TO US!"

"LMAOOOOO she's literally married to a humie!"

"'I'd never date a human' - meanwhile living with one"

"This is the biggest plot twist of 2487"

"HE CALLED HER HONEY AHAHAHAHA"

"I was calling you from downstairs, but you weren't answering. Dinner's ready. Kairi's hungry."

"who tf is kairi?!"

"How much has this woman lied?!"

"Jaune, I-I'm busy! And put a shirt on!"

"Why? It's half my house. I can go shirtless if I want." Jaune huffed. Normally, she would've found it (and the free show) endearing, but right now, all she could think about was her online career impoding in real time, "Wait, are you streaming right now? Oh, hey! You're playing Apex!"

"RIP Cat Goddess' credibility"

"Cat Goddess? More like Cat HYPOCRITE"

"The secondhand embarrassment is killing me..."

"Jaune! Get out!" She tried to shove him out of the room, but her damn lovable husband was too much of a tank to be moved.

"Come on, what's the big deal? It's just a game. Oh! How about the two of us play together?"

"Yeah Cat Goddess play with your husband LMAO."

"This is so wholesome lol"

"Damn this dude's shredded."

"is he even her husband? neither of them are wearing rings"

Unfortunately for her, Jaune saw that last message, "Oh! Yeah, me and Blake don't wear rings. It's actually an old tradition back in Domremy. Rings are seen as vain and-"

"Jaune! Stop giving information to internet randoms!" She finally managed to get some leeway in forcing him to budge, "I-I'll go down in a bit, okay? Just gimme five minutes to-"

"Mommy!"

Blake's stomach sank as a yellow blur slipped past Jaune and jumped into her arms with enough force to almost stagger her back. A tiny blonde girl with a full head of long hair, twitching cat ears, and shining amber eyes looked up at her excitedly. Kairi, the apple of their eyes, her only daughter (despite Jaune's stupidly virile genes)...and the second person of her family who was getting exposed to the world wide net. She almost cried.

"HOLY SHIT THEY HAVE A KID!"

"She looks so cute!"

"She wasn't single?! FUCK THIS!"

"HAHAHAHA! She actually is a Pet!"

"so much for the Cat Goddess"

"Kairi, what-"

"I'm hungry! Let's eat already!" The five year old girl squirmed in her arms, looking up at Blake with the most adorable pout in all of Remnant, "Come on, come on, come on!"

Before Blake could respond, Jaune plucked the squirming girl from her arms with a laugh, "Alright, sweetie, we should go before we embarass mommy more. Blake, get down so we can eat before it gets cold. Love you!" He leaned forward and kissed her in the cheek before taking Kairi back out. For a whole minute, the only sound in the room was the constant barrage of superchats that she couldn't even bear to look at. If she did, she would've melted into a puddle of embarassment and shame.

Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to turn around and sit back down.

"I'm unsubscribing."

"liar liar liar"

"Proud Faunus My Ass."

"I bet he gives her scritches and feeds her milk."

"his own personal milk."

Blake cut the stream and unplugged the computer. She just stared at the black screen for a few seconds before she smashed her head against the table and cried. One year. One year of building herself up, establishing her reputation and building a subscriber base...and it was all gone. She could already see the slop creators on remtube blowing this up to being some kind of major controversy. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Ugh...damn her family! She loved them so much, but damn them!

[line break]

Two weeks passed. Blake kept herself busy with Huntress work, but her streaming career was always at the back of her mind. She wasn't hurting for money. With both her and Jaune being Huntsmen, it wasn't like they ever had trouble putting food on the table. Plus their expenses were pretty cheap considering the house was a gift for, you know, saving the world. But still, her livestreams were something she took some pride in.

Which was why she knew she'd have to do something. Something that would taint her forever.

A remtube apology video.

She always told herself that she'd never have to do it. That she'd avoid controversy and never fall into that pit. But now here she was, sitting in front of her couch with Zwei on her lap. She still despised dogs, but for some reason, people seemed to think having a pet in front of the camera made you look sincere.

Plan B was singing with a ukelele.

Blake took a deep breath and set up the stream. It was called a remtube apology, but technically, she was doing it live. Another thing that would make her look sincere. She clicked her account and winced when she saw half of her subscribers were gone. She expected that. She never explicitly said she was single, but people assumed and she never corrected them. Her preference for tanktops or midriff baring shirts only brought more desperate simps to the chats. The same simps who saw that she was very happily married with a kid.

She turned on the stream and held Zwei tightly, trying to look sincere even as the corgi licked at her neck, "Hey everyone." She smiled sadly, "It's...been a bit since my last stream. I figured we needed to clear the air after the...incident."

"Cat Goddess is back"

"surprised she's doing this."

"oh shit apology time!'

"First things first: yes, I'm married. And yes, I have a daughter." The two of them were visiting Jaune's family in Domremy, so no more sudden interruptions, "I want to be completely transparent with you all because you deserve that honesty." She paused, petting Zwei as she tried to look as genuine as possible. This was so humiliating, "I know a lot of you feel betrayed right now, and I understand that. I really do." Blake swallowed hard, "When I started streaming, I never intended to mislead anyone about my personal life. I kept my family private because... well, because I wanted to protect them from the internet."

"damage control lmao"

"too little too late"

"at least she's being honest now"

"where's the hot husband tho"

Blake's eye twitched at that last comment but she continuedon, "I realize now that by not being upfront about my relationship status, I created a false impression. And for that, I'm truly sorry." She was getting more subscribers...but not because of the apology.

"BRING BACK JAUNE"

"we want the blonde himbo"

"put your husband on stream!"

"Blake who cares about this bring back the hot guy"

She gritted her teeth but maintained her fake smile, "I understand that some of my... more inflammatory statements about human-faunus relations might seem hypocritical now. And you're right to call that out."

"might seem hypocritical? MIGHT?!"

"girl you literally said you'd never date a human"

"then your husband walks in shirtless calling you honey"

"the cognitive dissonance is real"

"Speaking of your husband..."

"is he single? asking for a friend"

Blake's composure cracked slightly as the subscriber count rose. That...That was a lot of people, "Look, my political views are separate from my personal life-"

"JAUNE JAUNE JAUNE"

"we demand the blonde MAN content"

"put him back on camera!"

"does he have an AuraFans?"

"I bet he gives good cuddles"

"those abs tho"

Blake's eye was full-on twitching now. Even Zwei stopped lolling around and whined, trying to squirm away from her grasp. She refused to let him him leave"As I was saying, I want to take responsibility for my loaded comments and assure everyone that-"

"Blake we don't care about your apolog!"

"bring back daddy Jaune"

"your husband beats your political takes"

"when's the husband reveal stream?"

"collab with Jaune when?"

"forget the apology, we want more himbo content"

Blake took a deep breath, her grip on Zwei getting noticeably tighter. The poor corgi whined again, "I think there's been a misunderstanding about what this stream is about. I'm here to take responsibility for what I did and-"

"Blake x Jaune content when?"

"ship name should be Blaune"

"or Jaunke. blake on jaune's junk"

"your husband could step on me and I'd thank him"

"mommy AND daddy? we've been blessed"

"forget Cat Goddess, you're now Jaune's Wife"

Blake's smile was becoming increasingly strained, "This is supposed to be about addressing my past statements and taking accountability-"

"accountability for what? bagging that absolute unit?"

"girl won the lottery with that man"

"how did YOU land HIM?"

"teach us your ways Cat Goddess"

"is your husband free Thursday? asking for science"

"I'd let Jaune Arc ruin my life"

Blake's face was as red as as Ruby's cloak now. These little shits. Zwei finally managed to wriggle out of her grip and bolted for the exit. She took a deep breath, trying one last time to kepe in control, "Can we please focus on the actual topic here-"

"the topic IS your hot husband"

"Blake: exists / Chat: but what about Jaune tho"

"petition for Jaune to start his own stream"

"shirtless workout streams when?"

"does he do cooking streams? I bet he looks good in an apron"

"nothing but an apron side eyes"

Blake slammed her hand on the coffee table, causing the mahogany to splinter "OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"

"ooh she's getting spicy"

"the real Blake is coming out"

"anger makes her hotter ngl"

"still not as hot as Jaune tho"

"can Jaune get angry too? for research purposes"

Blake stood up, You know what? This isn't an apology anymore! You horny degenerates need to STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND!"

"possessive wife energy"

"she's signaling her territory"

"marking her man"

"protective Blake hits different"

"but like... can we still look?"

"LOOKING IS FREE BLAKE"

"you can't gatekeep that himbo"

Blake's cat ears were flat against her head and she was practically boiling, "I MEAN IT! Stop thirsting over MY man in the chat! He's MINE! He's not gonna touch any of you desperate bastards in a million years! So fuck off!"

"territorial cat vibes"

"she's about to hiss"

"blake . exe has crashed"

"this is better than the original controversy"

"unhinged Blake beats political Blake"

"jealous wife arc activated"

"but Blake... sharing is caring "

"can we at least get his workout routine?"

Blake pointed at the camera, "NO! NO WORKOUT ROUTINES! NO SHIRTLESS STREAMS! NO NOTHING! MY HUSBAND IS OFF LIMITS!"

"she's literally vibrating with rage"

"this is the content we came for"

"feral Blake supremacy"

"ok but what's his favorite color tho?"

"does he like cats? obviously he does but like HOW MUCH?!"

Blake was practically snarling now, teeth bared and ready to start doxxing people, "I'M ENDING THIS STREAM! ALL OF YOU NEED TO TOUCH GRASS AND LEAVE MY FAMILY ALONE! FUCK ALL OF YOU!"

"WAIT NO"

"we were just getting to the good part!"

"Blake please we'll behave!"

"define 'behave' though"

"what if we thirst quietly?"

"Blake wait what's Jaune's favorite food"

"BLAKE COME BACK"

Blake moved toward the camera, "Stream's over! Go find your own himbo husbands and leave MINE alone!"

"this was the best apology video ever"

"10/10 would watch Blake have a breakdown again"

"still want to see Jaune though"

The screen went black. Blake collapsed back on the couch and groaned. Her scroll rang with an update, telling her that she'd reached a new subscriber milestone. Blake tossed her scroll out the window and screamed into the pillow.

[line break]

Blake deserved every bit of that. She should really take the hint and become a family blogger.

Cafe D'Arc - Maid Jaune, Chapter 7

Ren and Nora time. Warning: this chapter is pretty gay. Ren is in this and Jaune is of the mindset that there's nothing weird about kissing the homie goodnight. Or doing other things with your homie. Nothing weird about it at all.

Next story will be the Dragonslayer exclusive, like I said.

[line break]

Days passed in their usual blur of classes, new training sessions with Pyrrha and Professor Goodwitch (which were somehow even more brutal than her regular combat class), and the occasional client booking. Jaune thought he'd seen it all. The sister complexes, the mother issues, the weird big sister fantasies. Hell, he even had a client who wanted him to pretend to be her dead houseplant. Easiest lien of his career, but definitely one he wouldn't forget any time soon.

He'd gotten into a good rythm nowadays. He had to cut down on his bookings because he only had so much time, but it was worth it. Pyrrha was good (the best, really) but Professor Goodwitch was an actual instructor with almost two decades of teaching various fighting styles to aspiring Huntsmen. She knew about things that Pyrrha didn't even think about.

He always ended every session tired, sore, and sweaty...and not in a fun way. A part of him was still expecting - looking forward to, really - the Prof to book him for another session. She never did, at least not yet. It left him with a perpetual feeling of blue balls after every session...even though he was still getting clients daily.

Plus his stress relief sessions with Pyrrha. He'd have thought lightening the load would get her to be less stressful, but it was doing the exact opposite. She requested - no, practically demanded - sex every day now. Coming back from training bone tired only for Pyrrha to pin him to the wall and say she was stressed was so common that Ren and Nora didn't even flinch anymore. They just turned around and left while Nora loudly announced that they were gonna do something else for the next three hours.

"F-Fuck...!" Pyrrha moaned, her face pressed against the pillow. Even after...he'd actually lost count how many times they'd done this. Dozens, now? Whatever. Even after dozens of times, he still found Pyrrha cursing odd. Jaune slowly pulled his hips back before shoving them back in with relentless force, his cock pushing into her inner walls. He'd been with Pyrrha enough times to know how exactly she liked things. She liked it rough. The most fun she ever had was in the arena, when she was fighting to win against skilled opponents. That apparently translated to how she liked it in bed too.

As for other things...

"You're the best, Pyr..." he whispered, leaning forward so he was whispering right against her ear. Pyrrha shivered, her shoulders shaking as he continued, "You're the best partner anyone could ask for. I'm so lucky to have you. Every day, I thank the Brothers that I met you." Pyrrha sobbed in pleasure, biting into the pillow to keep from crying out, "Ah, ah, ah. None of that. Let me hear that pretty voice of yours." Pyrrha sobbed again before she released the pillow, moaning shamelessly into the empty room.

It was all part of the performance. She'd told him exactly what she wanted to hear all those weeks ago, her face as red as her hair. He just smiled without judgement. Everyone wanted specific things. Pyrrha wanting to be praised for who she was instead of her title was actually pretty sweet. Way better than Weiss acting like a queen when she needed a stool to reach the top shelf or Yang turning her mommy issues into a sexual hangup.

He bent back slightly so he could continue pistoning into her. He'd gotten enough experience to hold back from cumming until his partner did. And with Pyrrha, there was something different. Seeing her face flush, her mouth part, her eyes half-lidded...it made him happy in a way his usual clients didn't. He chalked it up to relief that he could finally pay her back for all those free training sessions. Anyone else (except maybe Ruby) would've told him to fess up to the headmaster once they found out about his transcripts. Pyrrha offered to train him even after he acted like an ass because of his pride. Helping her relieve her stress was the least he could do.

He reached out and grabbed her breasts, kneading the soft flesh. She liked it when her boobs were played with too, "J-Jaune~" He pinched her nipples roughtly between his fingers. Her eyes widened and she cried out, her inner walls clenching around his cock as she came. Jaune groaned as he finally allowed himself to come too, coating her insides white with his seed. It was her safe day, and he always made sure that she took morning after pills just in case.

Jaune sighed happily and slowly pulled himself out. Her vaginal walls clenched around his softening dick like they refused to let go, "Good girl..." he murmured, falling on his back next to her. Without saying another word, Pyrrha crawled over and started sucking his cock, cleaning up the coating of fluids. She always did this. The first few times, he tried to to stop her and said she didn't need to. But she insisted and now he accepted it as her being a good partner.

He reached a hand out to ruffle her hair while the other grabbed for his scroll. Pyrrha hummed against his cock and got to work, cleaning the leftover cum. He kept ruffling her hair and looked through his booking list. He had enough money that he could afford to take a break, but the part of him that whispered about money wouldn't just let him stop. There were still things he could buy. Weapon upgrades, ammo, maybe even a proper motorcycle that put Yang's bumbleby to shame. He wasn't exactly planning to walk everywhere once he became an official Huntsman. Heck, maybe he'd buy a horse and be like an old school knight or cowboy. That'd be cool.

He actually had to be pickier with his clients now that he was spending more time training. Most foreign kingdom bookings were filtered out unless the pay was really good because he couldn't afford to take trips to Mistral, Atlas, or Vacuo in-between everything else. Right now, any foreign clients he had left were upper class types who could afford to splurge on a night with a crossdressing maid. He scrolled through the list, accepting and rejecting bookings on autopilot, until he saw a pair of names that made him pause.

Ren and Nora.

Jaune blinked and made sure to check again. Yep, those were their names. They even had a couple's selfie as their profile picture. Pyrrha seemed to sense his surprise and looked up. The sight of her cock in his mouth with those curious eyes made his dick twitch, "It's nothing." He smiled and shook his head. She hummed again and got back to what she was doing, causing Jaune to sigh in pleasure. Man, he was so happy they were helping each other out. It was nice to have sex without any expectations or weird fetishes.

He looked back at the name. Ren and Nora...those two were some of the last he expected to hire him.

They were his first double client, actually. Everyone else preferred to keep their maid kinks solo, which honestly made sense. Most people didn't want witnesses to their weird fetishes, especially when those witnesses were people they had to see every day at school. Or "respectable" people who wanted to keep their dirty little secrets behind closed doors. He'd had everyone from aspiring Huntsmen to Mistral noble ladies hire his services. Say what you will about the maid sex industry, but they didn't discriminate.

But apparently, Ren and Nora were built different.

He accepted the request and set his phone down. This was gonna be interesting...

[line break]

Days later and the weekend came. Time to meet his new clients.

It was pretty surprising being hired by his brother from another mother and sister from another mister, but money was money. And yes, he absolutely did charge them, even with Nora pouting and whining about "friendship discounts" and "teammate rates" the whole week. The only person who got freebies was Pyrrha, and that was because they were partners. Plus, their stress relief sessions were totally different from his actual work.

The booking instructions were surprisingly normal compared to some of the shit he'd dealt with lately. When he accepted, Nora told him to meet them at a classy bar in downtown Vale called "The Gilded Rose". No weird costumes, no specific roleplay scenarios, no requests to dress up as anyone's family members. Just... show up in the maid outfit and see what happened. And yes, he'd gotten to the point that dressing up in a maid outfit was normal.

So Jaune put on his (increasingly customized and expensive) outfit. He'd recently upgraded to actual silk stockings and a corset that didn't leave him gasping for air after two hours, plus better hair extensions and a frilly headband. Professional pride demanded nothing less. He walked to the docks to take a bullhead down to Vale. Most students had seen him enough times that they only lightly stared, but a few (like Cardin...) openly checked out his ass. He ignored them all and hopped on the ship.

The ride gave him time to think, which was probably a mistake.

This was Ren and Nora. He'd known them for months now. Ren was the most chill guy he'd ever met, the kind of person who could meditate while Nora literally bounced off the walls around him. And Nora... well, Nora was Nora. Hyperactive, pancake-obsessed, and with approximately zero filter between her brain and her mouth. If he knew them (and he definitely did), she was the one who put Ren up to this. Ren was too much of a go with the flow kind of guy to hire one of his best friends as a maid.

As the bullhead descended toward Vale's landing pad, Jaune tried to psych himself up. This was fine. Totally normal. At least Ren would be there to keep Nora in check – the guy had years of experience wrangling her chaos. And really, when he thought about it, there was nothing weird about... well, about whatever this was going to be. There was nothing weird about kissing a buddy goodnight, right? Or doing other stuff with him? It was just like with Pyrrha. Doing stuff with friends didn't count as long as they weren't being weird about it like Weiss. Or Yang. Or Ruby.

The bullhead touched down with a gentle thud and Jaune stood up, smoothing down his skirt and checking his reflection in the window. The maid outfit looked perfect, as always. His makeup was flawless (thank you, seven sisters and their endless makeover sessions), his hair was styled just right, and he'd already shifted his body language to the perfert demure maid Juliette. It was almost scary how it became second nature to do it nowadays. He didn't even have to think about how to change his walk, his posture, his voice.

Jaune shook his head. No time for that now. He was ready for whatever weirdness his teammates had in store for him.

...

Probably.

The walk to the bar felt...calm. The first few times he did this, there was always an underlying nervousness with meeting new clients; or in the case of his repeat Clients - coughWeisscough - reminding himself that the money was worth whatever they were making him do and he could walk away any time and offer a refund. And honestly, a part of him found the cringe almost impossible to look away from. Finding out Weiss Schnee had a sister complex was almost funny, really.

Jaune looked up at the sign of the Gilded Rose. This place was definitely on the fancier end of downtown Vale, though he wasn't too impressed anymore. He'd been to Atlesian mansions and Mistral noble houses, the kinds of places that screamed "stupid money". A fancy bar was nothing.

The inside was a nice change of pace, at least. A classy joint with soft music, a bartender that didn't even look surprised at his maid outfit, and a chanteuse on stage singing some old blues song. Jaune made his way to the counter and sat down, "Vodka, on the rocks," he said, voice still smooth and effeminate. The bartender looked up and Jaune wondered if he'd ask for his (fake) ID before apparently thinking better and just nodding.

Jaune took the drink and looked around the place. Nora and Ren weren't here yet, which gave him a chance to scope out the place. It was actually pretty empty right now, which made sense. Most people didn't go to fancy bars at 10 in the morning. He sipped the vodka, the burn of alcohol pleasant against his throat. Technically, he wasn't breaking the law. Beacon students got a lot of leeway. Vale figured that if they were old enough to fight Grimm, they were old enough to smoke or drink. Not that it stopped Yang from even freaking out at the idea of Ruby going near bars.

Minutes passed in comfortable silence before the door slammed open. Nora walked in like she owned the place, her smile bright enough to light up the dim interior. She looked the same as always. Same pink skirt, same top with the heart-shaped chest hole that every guy in campus stared at at least once. She bounced (in more ways than one...) inside, looking hilariously out of place in the classy interior; even more than the guy crossdressing as a maid.

But it was the other person who walked in that really drew his attention.

The first thing he noticed was the dress. A dark green and pink qipao. A traditional Mistralian outfit, but this one was modified to be...racier. Slits at the sides to draw attention to long, toned legs along with two thigh straps on the right leg to make the eyes linger even longer. The pair of black heels were sensible and no-nonsense, unlike his own, but they paired well with the dress' sensuality.

He forced his eyes to look up. The upper half of the qipao wasn't modified, but his attention wasn't on that anyway. It was on the figure's face. Tasteful makeup (almost like his own, actually) mixed with a hairstyle that was somehow both innocent and alluring. A pair of two low pigtails tied with ball accessories mixed with bangs that covered one eye. The uncovered eye met his and the figure smiled slightly, the gesture demure and almost shy despite the clothes being anything but.

Ren, his mind supplied. That was Ren. His brother from another mother...and he was smoking hot. Jaune almost let go of his vodka glass in shock. For the longest time, he always wondered what the appeal was in hiring a guy crossdressing as a maid. Seeing Ren now, he understood. Oh Gods, did he understand. If Nora had come in there wearing that dress, it wouldn't have been nearly as hot. It was like...the gap or forbidden fruit or something.

His eyes flicked back to Nora as the redhead skipped over to him and leaned against the counter, shamelessly looking him up and down, "So. Juliette..." she said, voice low and husky, "My Ren and I saw you from across the bar and we really like your vibe." Despite the situation, Jaune almost laughed. Leave it to Nora to deflate the atmosphere with a meme, "What's say the three of us get out of this place and somewhere more private?"

...

"Did you seriously tell me to come to a bar just so you could do that line? I could've met you at a hotel, you know."

"But then I couldn't have done this!" Nora whined, "Everyone knows you do this at the bar! Just...meeting at a hotel room makes you look like a hooker!" Jaune refrained from pointing out he basically was one, though he preferred the term escort.

"Nora insisted," Ren said. Like him, he'd pitched his voice high enough that he sounded delicately feminine. If he hadn't seen the guy in just a towel, he would've been absolutely fooled, "She always wanted to say that line."

"Well, what other chance was I gonna get?" Nora grinned, "Anyway. I saw how you were looking at Renny, Jaune. I had him dress up just for you. Did he make you hard?"

"Uh...we should talk about this somewhere else." He looked at the bartender, who was giving him a judgemental look that screamed "ma'am, this is a high class establishment", "Let's head over to to the hotel room."

"I'll take that as a yes." She grabbed his arm with her right hand and Ren's with her left, sandwiching herself between them. A man on each arm...while both men looked like women. Only Nora, he thought. The orange haired gremlin was laughing under her breath while drooling shamelessly, her eyes glassy with obvious lust. Well...that wasn't something he expected to see from her. The last time she looked like that was when Ren baked chocolate chip and strawberry pancakes for her birthday.

He shared a look with Ren, who just shrugged helplessly and winked with his one visible eye. Jaune swallowed. There was something about Ren - conservative, calm, straight laced Ren - acting like that that made him feel things.

He barely even noticed the time pass as they were taken to the hotel room. It wasn't anything fancy like the places Weiss preferred; those probably cost as much as his hiring fee. This one was just barely a step up from the sleazy love motels he'd passed by a few times. At least there weren't any weird fluids or smells when they got into a room. Just a room with mood lighting, a minifridge, a heart shaped bed...and a chair in the corner.

...

Nora let go of them both and plopped down on it. She leaned back, crossed her right leg over her left, and steepled her hands together, "Well? Get on with it. Your Queen demands to be pleased." She licked her lips, breathing in and out excitedly.

"Uh..." He looked to Ren again, "What exactly does Nora want? You understand her...Nora-isms more than me."

"I believe she wants us to start and get her in the mood." Ren shifted from one foot to another, bringing a delicate hand through his hair. The move was unconscious (or at least it looked like it), but something about it made a tingle go down his spine, "Nora was very excited about today and we even splurged on this outfit." He gestured to the qipao. He looked down at Ren's legs again. Ren always preferred to kick, and clearly that was working out.

"I noticed. How much did it cost?"

"It was-"

"Ugh, stop talking!" Nora slammed her hands on the armrests and pouted, "Less talky, more sexy! Come on, Juliette! We didn't save up all that money to watch you two talk! Make out! Get naked! Strip each other! We wanna get our money's worth here."

Rather than being embarassed, Ren laughed under his breath and made his way to the bed. He sat down on the heart-shaped, fuzzy mattress and cross his legs too. Unlike Nora, the gesture looked far more graceful. Sexy, "I believe you're the expert here, Ms. Juliette." The husky way his voice lowered made Jaune's cock twitch with want. Okay, he was definitely awakening to something, "I'll follow your lead. Just treat me as another client."

"R-Right..."

Jaune joined him on the bed and took a deep breath. This was fine, he told himself. This was Ren. His best guy friend. Who was wearing a qipao and apparently had legs that put Weiss and Pyrrha to shame. Whatever, he could do this. It wasn't weird to kiss a buddy goodnight, so why should this be? "Okay, so let's just..." Another breath, and this time he found himself calming down. He could do this. He was Juliette. He'd dealt with Weiss and Yang. Compared to them, this was practically a freebie.

He gently reached a hand out and cupped Ren's right cheek. The first thing he noticed was how soft his skin was. He'd never noticed before because, well, he wasn't exactly running around touching people's faces. The second thing he noticed was how good he smelled. Not perfume, some kind of incense that he couldn't place. It smelled sweet. Before he could stop himself, he leaned forward and pressed his nose against Ren's neck, breathing in deep. Ren gasped softly in surprise while Nora "ooohed" from her chair.

"You smell so good."

"Thanks. It was an old incense from my home. Only I know how to make it." Ren hummed, leaning against Jaune with comfortable ease, "You're very fetching yourself, Juliette."

Jaune breathed in the scent one more time before he started kissing his neck. The slight taste of sweat lingered on his tongue as he left a trail of kisses up his neck to his jawline. Kissing was actually pretty rare, actually. Most clients wanted his lips on other things or they demanded sex and submission immediately. It was a barrier. Kissing felt romantic in a way just plain sex wasn't. The only person he kissed frequently was Pyrrha. She said it was because she was traditional.

He didn't just kiss, of course. He bit and licked at the skin, making sure it was just hard enough to pleasantly painful, "Hm, that's nice..." Ren sighed, somehow still managing to keep his voice properly pitched. A part of Jaune wondered how long Ren had been doing this. There was no way this was his first time. The way he moved in that dress, the voice, the casual confidence...he'd done this before. His old boss at the maid cafe would've been drooling if Ren decided to work there.

The kisses eventually stopped when he was just an inch from Ren's lips. Jaune suddenly hesitated. Was kissing him on the lips too much? Before he could think more about it, Ren grabbed the back of his head and pulled him into a deep, hungry kiss, "Oh..." Nora leaned forward, breathing in and out so deeply that the sound overshadowed the sounds of their lips smacking together. Jaune's eyes widened when Ren slipped his tongue between his lips and pushed him down on the bed, practically straddling him.

Jaune felt lightheaded. It wasn't his first kiss - that "honor" went to Jade back in Domremy - but it was still different. His kisses with Pyrrha were furtive. Nervous. Even after all these months of stress relief, she seemed to find it awkward to push further than a few chaste kiss - which was kind of ironic considering she had no problem sucking his dick after every session. Then again, she also found it hard to hold his hand during the act. She practically hyperventilated when he did it last time.

Ren was different. Soft but dominant. The smell of incense made him dizzy (in a good way) and he felt Ren's hands skillfully slip past the frilly top and rub his nipples, fingertips lightly pinching the pink nubs of flesh. Jaune moaned against Ren's mouth, the sound muffled and interrupted when Ren deepened the kiss. It was hard to breath, hard to focus, and he wanted more.

Nora was definitely enjoying the show. He shifted his gaze from the ceiling to their one-woman audience. Her face was flushed as red as Ruby's cloak and she was leaning forward so much that she was practically falling out of her seat. He didn't know whether to be scared or turned on by the hungry look in her eyes. Nora looked like she was about to jump them any second now. And judging by the poking against his thigh, Ren knew it too.

"Oh...I can't take it anymore!" Nora stood up so quickly that the chair clattered to the ground. Ren separated from Jaune just in time to avoid Nora barreling into him when she belly flopped onto the bed. Jaune groaned at the sudden weight, but he barely managed to get a breath in before Nora grabbed both sides of his face in a firm grip and pulled him into a kiss of her own.

She was far less controlled than her not-boyfriend. Where Ren was firm but calm, Nora went at him with the same energy she put into everything else. Their teeth clattered together almost painfully and she was practically eating her face like he was a plate full of chocolate pancakes, "Calm down, Nora. Let Jaune breath," Ren laughed, patting her shoulder. Nora continued making out with him before she eventually pulled back, sitting on his stomach with her legs spread.

Jaune blinked, breathing through kiss-bruised lips. It was only after a few seconds that he realized Nora wasn't wearing any underwear...and that she was wet. Her skirt rode up, exposing her moist pussy that was already dripping pre into the dark fabric of his top, "You two are so hot...!" she whispered, her voice hoarse with want. She grabbed the edge of her top and threw it over her head. She wasn't wearing a bra either.

He couldn't help but look. Jaune had seen dozens of women naked (except Goodwitch...), but there was something almost awe-inspiring about Nora. She was short - shorter than even Weiss - but with muscles that put Yang and Pyrrha to shame.

And her tits...

Jaune's eyes flicked down. They were huge. If someone looked at the dictionary definition of shorstack, Nora Valkyrie would've been the picture they used as an example. His hands twitched, desperate to grab her boobs. He didn't get the chance. Nora hopped off of him and suddenly got on her hands and knees at the center of the bed, "Ugh, stick it in me! Both of you! Your Queen's been naughty and deserves a good skewewing!"

"She's...really into the whole 'Queen' thing, huh?" Jaune murmured, though he was honestly too horny to care.

"Queen of the castle was always her favorite game to play when we were children." Ren shuffled over till he was kneeling in front of Nora's face and shifted the front of the qipao to expose the (green, of course) panties he wore, which barely managed to contain the bulge of his hard-on. A quick pull down later and Ren's rock-hard cock sprang up, practically slapping Norah in the face. Seeing a dick on someone who looked so feminine was surreal. This must've been what his clients felt every time they got down and dirty.

Nora crawled forward and began to lick Ren's cock like a well-trained bet. She started with his balls, sucking them gently while Ren hummed, before she pressed the tip of her tongue at the base of his dick. Oh so slowly, she dragged it up, leaving a trail of saliva against the pillar of cockmeat. His penis twitched in response, Ren clearly pleased by the attention but still somehow managing to keep calm despite the situation. There was the Ren he knew.

Ren's exposed eye met his and he smirked, "What are you waiting for, Jaune? Nora's got another hole to stuff." To emphasize his point, she wiggled her ass, causing the skirt to ride up even more than it already did. She was practically gushing now, silently begging him to fuck her already. Norah groaned and opened her mouth, engulfish Ren's cock from to base in one go. Yeah, they definitely did this before. 'Not together-together' his ass.

Gritting his teeth, he shimmied his own lace lingerie down and raised his skirt. Nora wiggled her hips again, pressing her fat ass against his cock. She was still bobbing up and down on Ren's cock, but he could practically see the smirk on her face. This little...

Nora expected him to shove his dick inside her snatch. Instead, he leaned slapped her ass. Hard, "MMMGH?!" Her eyes widened and she tried to pull back, but Ren suddenly grabbed her head and kept her pinned. She slapped his thighs in surprised panic while Ren silently urged Jaune to go on. Jaune opened the nearby drawer and smirked when he saw lube arranged in a neat row. Service guaranteed. He'd definitely give this place five stars.

He covered his dick with a generous coating of the lubricant then did the same bewteen Nora's cheeks. Nora tried to pull back again, but Ren kept her from stopping. She wanted it, they could both tell. She was stronger than both of them combined and could've folded Ren like a pretzel if she really wanted out.

Once he was satisfied, he spread her cheeks with both hands and grinned devilishly at the sight of her pretty pink back entrance. Anal sex was pretty rare from his experience. Most women wanted it either in their mouth or their snatch. There were a few that did, and one insisted he use spit as lube even after he warned her that was actually a really bad idea, but what they client wanted, they got. He was tempted to use spit here too but he didn't want to hurt Nora too much.

Jaune kept her cheeks spread as he slowly inserted his lubed dick inside her. Gods, she was tight, "Nora's a virgin on that front. Or should I say back?" His cock twitched. Where the hell did this smug, mischievous Ren come from? "You know, it was hard to keep her under control the whole week. Seeing you and Pyrrha going at it day after day, she was practically biting into wood waiting for the weekend to come. I'm honestly surprised she lasted as long as she did."

"Ugh...fuck..." Jaune kept going until he'd bottomed out inside her. He just stayed there for a moment, feeling her warmth and tightened around his cock, before he slowly inched his way back out. Nora was sucking Ren's dick again, though her hands were wobbling and she barely managed to keep herself up.

"Nora, be a good girl and keep those arms up..." Ren whispered. Nora moaned again and her arms suddenly steadied. He always knew that Ren was the only thing keeping Nora in check, but seeing it in this context was different.

Jaune squeezed her ass tightly, relishing in the feel of her warm skin against his fingers. Back when he first started at Beacon, his preference had always been the slender type. The princesses like Weiss. After so many clients, his tastes had...expanded. Now he could appreciate just about anything.

Though half-lidded eyes, he kept pumping into Nora's tight ass, watching her cheeks jiggle with every pounding. The sight of it was hypnotic, especially knowing he was responsible for every little shake and muffled moan. Well, half responsible. He looked up slightly to see Nora practically choking on Ren's dick, her tits bouncing as she bobbed her head up and down with almost the same energy as before. Ren himself looked utterly relaxed, his eyes closed as he breathed in and out with barely any exertion. The sight of it was as mesmerizing as Nora's pure desperation and thirst.

Minutes passed and her felt her back passage loosening from the slow thrusting. He couldn't last much longer and he knew it, "F-Fuck..." He gripped her so tightly that she would've gotten bruises if not for her Aura. His thrusts became less slow and more frantic, slamming into her jiggling cheeks like his life depended on it. Nora sensed his desperation and upped her own pace, causing Ren to bite his lip to keep from moaning.

Jaune buried himself fully and came. Just barely, he saw Nora's eyes widen as she felt her back entrance being stuffed with his seed. She stopped bobbing her head and tugged Ren close by his hips, moaning against his crotch as he filled her up. Ren finally let out a single, controlled moan as he came too, the two of them filling her up on both ends like she was a turkey.

He looked down and groaned at the sight of his cum practically overflowing from the tight pink ring. Meanwhile, Nora failed to swallow Ren's own wave of cum and he saw it dribbling down her lips even as she struggled to try and swallow it all.

They stayed like that for a few more seconds before eventually separating. Jaune pulled out, watching as his semen dripped out of her hole, while Ren did the same. Nora swallowed as much of his cum as she could before eventually collapsing on the bed, her face set in a dopey little smile, "Sho good..." she muttered, "Ugh...this is the best...we need to do this more..."

"Ahahaha..." Jaune rubbed the back of his head, "It was definitely something..." Good? Yeah. Fun? Definitely. But absolutely different from his usual clients.

"We'll need to gather the funds from extra missions." Ren rubbed Nora's head gently.

"Discount~" Nora whined.

"Now, now. Jaune is a professional. It would be unfair to expect him to give us freebies." Despite his words, there was something coy and teasing with Ren's words, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes that looked out of place on him. Not in a bad way, though.

"Well..." Jaune scratched his cheek, "Maybe we can work something out."

And just like that, Nora sprang up and hugged him, squishing her boobs against his face. Jaune made absolutely no effort to push her off because she was way stronger than him and knew it was a fool's errand. That was the only reason.

[line break]

Ren and Nora done. Of course Nora's into femboy yaoi.

Question:

1. Who do we go for next? I'm leaning towards Winter but open to suggestions.

2. So do we make this proper Arkos or not? The client format will be kept, but Pyrrha may get involved in future chapters. Others prefer Goodwitch or, after this chapter, possibly Ren given Jaune's reactions to him.

Another progress update

Should be done with Maid Jaune in a day or two (already 2000 words in). I’m trying to get into a faster pace compared to before. After that, another Patreon exclusive, this time a Dragonslayer oneshot.

Also, a question for Maid Jaune. Do you guys want it to be Arkos? Jaune would still be getting clients, but Pyrrha may be involved in future chapters if it turns into a proper Arkos pairing.