Which made the laughter all the more satisfying. Rhi must have thought so as well, as she hadn't killed me yet. The fires of her throne danced with each chortle. I wiped the gritty tears from my eyes, glancing at the rest of my companions. Meredeath and Tandy were not amused.
Leo, however, arched his eyebrows, whispering, "Good sign, hitting it off with the in-laws." He grinned as I choked on an errant bit of saliva, giving me two thumbs up.
Coughing, I turned back to the [Lich] to find her mood had flipped. She sat in her throne, long fingernails tapping on the stone armrest. It was as though my courage had evaporated with my laughter. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I just stood there staring at her.
Meredeath stepped forward, her boots and corset jangling. She must have handed Richard off to Leo or Tandy, because he was no longer wrapped around her neck. She looked up at Rhi, her pendant still glowing from the [Corrupt] water hound fight.
"I have come to seek your assistance," Meredeath said. Her words echoed in the silence.
Rhi Voss moved. She moved inhumanely, as though time passed differently for her. She was sitting and then standing before her throne in a blink. Her hands were out with blackened nails angled towards us as though she was going to attack. Face bare, she looked every bit the swamp terror of my childhood.
Meredeath matched her energy, dropping into a crouch. Her claws coming out, she was prepared to meet an attack, no matter how outclassed. Purple lightning crackled between Rhi's fingers as though energy was building for a strike. I was frozen by some sort of [Fear] skill, unable to do anything but watch.
S-T-O-P! You unregulated [Lich]! Richard yelled in our heads, leaving no doubt he'd considered an alternative to [Lich].
His shout did nothing. No self-respecting goddess of the undead listened to a banana slug, fanged or not.
"He's engaged to your sister!" Leo shouted, pointing at me.
The purple lightning dimmed. The wisps that were Rhi's remaining eyebrows knitted together.
"Wh-what? The grave robber is a gold digger?" Her confusion was evident.
I guess it was my turn. I looked down at the blue stone on my finger.
"I'm not really engaged to Lael," I said. I opted for the truth despite the anxiety-laden look Tandy gave me. "But she did give me her ring."
I held my hand out. In a blink, Rhi was before me. I bit back a shriek.
Everything about her was worse up close. Her skin was a collection of flaky layers that were too stubborn to fall off. Her teeth were yellowed and sharper than they should be. She smelled of vinegar and ash like she'd soured with age. My expression must have given away my thoughts as she moved even closer.
"See if you look half as good at my age," she said with a raspy voice. "Tell me again, boy, why do you wear my sister's ring?"
"She gave it to me-"
"I don't sense falsehood in your statement; however, I don't see how this can be true. She's been dead for over." Her hand moved, and she booped me in the nose with each word, "six-hundred-years."
She looked into my eyes. Fear had me pinned in place. Her eyes were dark, fathomless pools. Her body might have faded over the centuries, but her eyes held her soul. It was like looking down into a deep well and having something in the darkness look back.
"You are not nearly old enough," she said with finality. In a blink, she was halfway up the stairs.
My mind raced, knowing what was going to happen once she got back to her throne, when she assumed a position to pass judgment on us.
"Nonetheless, she gave it to me to help me kill her [Companion]." At my words, the [Lich] froze. It was as though I'd reflected her own [Fear] skill back.
Not facing me, she whispered, "He's dead?"
I prayed to the Everbear that I was reading her correctly.
"Yes, he's finally at peace." My words had the effect I was hoping for. The stiff-backed woman hunched as though the air had been released from her body.
She kept her back to us as she walked, almost like a normal human, up the stairs. The tension in the room released. The flickering fires of her throne muted their promised threat by softening. Ter Lance, her skeletal commander, lowered his sword, responding to an unspoken command.
As she turned around to face us, the world twisted.
The darkness faded. The flames blinked out. We stood in the palace, but it wasn't the conjured nightmare. It was old, bleached with age, ruined. The ceiling of the palace was missing. The room was hollowed out except for a few empty stone tables and the throne itself. It held reliefs decorated with scenes of battle, but the throne was made of solid granite. The battles celebrated great victories.
The room smelled not of death and ash, but of dust. A faint breeze whistled through a crack in the wall.
Ter Lance stood before us, not the bone minion of an undead queen, but a commander in shining armor with a greased mustache. He gave me a slight nod of recognition as though acknowledging he was still him.
Rhi, herself, had changed. She looked not much older than any of us. Her hair was glossy and black, her skin human, her teeth hidden behind thin but functioning lips. The only thing that hadn't changed was her eyes.
"Behold the truth," she waved at the empty room. "I know not what assistance you come seeking, but my power is not what it was. The Incursion comes for us all. Even me."
I gazed at the once ominous, once beautiful palace. Rhi Voss sat alone on her throne, the undying queen of a dead civilization. My heart ached for this stranger at the understanding she'd granted us.
The Incursion is here?
Richard sounded concerned, but I wasn’t sure about what. What was this Incursion?
"Have you been asleep so many years?" Her eyes shifted to Richard. "It presses near. [Corruption] in my dogs. They ate through most of my remaining kin. It’s gotten older and hungrier.” Her voice caught on the word as though this hunger scared her. “It won't be long now."
"Is there something we can do to help?" Tandy surprised me by asking.
"You, child?" Rhi said, her voice not unkind. "You are talking to one of the [Immortal Legends] of the fifth age, and you're asking what you can do to help? I appreciate the gesture, but I think I’ll be two ages too old before long. No, I don't think there's anything," she paused as though using [Analyze] on us. "[Your Mom's Party], really? I don't think there's anything your party can do to assist me."
"Cole slayed the [Corrupt] tidemaw." Tandy's statement sat heavy in the silence. Tandy always had this way about her. She’d just state the truth, not caring about the ego-crushing consequences.
“Yes, he slayed an ancient, nearly toothless tidemaw. I’d give him a trophy, but my sister beat me to it.”
Rhi looked at us again. Her head was shaking. Then she looked at Richard. It was as though she couldn't marry the fact that we were [Your Mom's Party], newly minted [Adventurers], and yet had defeated a [Corrupt] tidemaw. Or that we had Richard in our group. It pained me to admit it, but it did seem like Richard was someone important and possibly [Immortal]. Stupid banana slug.
"What are you doing with them? Last I knew of you," she frowned as though trying to remember where in her cellar she'd left the potatoes. "Last I remember, I had you trapped. When I felt you wake up, I trapped every banana slug within ten miles of your resting place."
I escaped and bonded with Cole.
She studied Richard and me, likely using another examination skill.
"I suppose I should let the other slugs go. Hmm... You're not bonded now. Did he get fed up with you that quickly? That's a new record. A new low for you, Richard, trying to bond with someone so young and still failing. Almost like Randal, isn't it? You remember how that ended, I hope you get a different outcome here. Why were you here, again?" Rhi's words danced around almost too hard to follow the thread. I wasn't sure which question to answer or who should answer it.
I looked at Richard, and he looked chastened, tentacles down. He wasn't going to respond.
"I am here seeking you as a [Sponsor]," Meredeath said, her back straight and her voice strong.
Rhi's eyes narrowed as they snapped back to Meredeath. As though she was reevaluating the woman she'd dismissed out of hand.
"You need a [Sponsor]? The algorithmic windbag valued you that high with his imaginary rubric?" She looked at us like we were a puzzle she hadn't figured out. To be honest, I empathized.
"Can you explain that? I'm not from this world, dimension, whatever it is. I'm not from here, and I’m not sure why I need a [Sponsor]. Why was I even required to be an [Adventurer]?" Meredeath said.
I was shocked she'd just told the bone lady she was an off-worlder. Like this was just a common occurrence, it had a magical effect on Rhi. Her haughtiness drained from her face as she looked at Meredeath. It was replaced by compassion? Pity? It was hard to tell.
"[Sponsor] requirements come from a very old philosophy. It predates the [System] in fact. In the past, high-potential individuals entering one of the colleges had to be sponsored by an elder. It was a way to mentor and control. They did love control. Now it is the [System's] way of attempting to increase the survivability of high-potential [Adventurers]. Survival has become increasingly difficult in the fifth age.” Rhi’s voice trailed off as she studied Meredeath.
As though she’d made a decision, she continued, “Come here, child. Let me take a look at you.” Meredeath started climbing the stairs, her boots jangling. “An off-worlder.” Rhi’s voice whispered in wonder.
Meredeath kept climbing until she was on the platform with Rhi. Considering the [Lich] we'd just been face-to-face with, I found this very brave.
The two talked on the dais, but their words were garbled. Rhi had used some sort of [Privacy] skill to keep her words secret. What wasn't secret was the outcome. We watched as Rhi reached out and touched Meredeath's forehead with her thumb.
As Meredeath turned to us, I saw a glowing imprint where Rhi's thumb had touched. Meredeath's face had changed. Her features had grown less cat-like, her eyes and face rounder, her nails less sharp. She had let go of something she’d been and tethered herself to Rhi Voss. Tears traced down her pale cheeks, as though a cost had been paid.
I wondered what [Class] she’d been offered.
“And you, Cole. Do you need a [Sponsor] as well?" Rhi's voice whispered in my ear, even though her lips hadn't moved. Her words were meant for me alone. "You have earned it. I couldn't bring myself to kill Tilly after Lael's death."
I looked at Rhi. She looked sad, sure, but beautiful. The long-forgotten queen could grant powers beyond death itself. She had hundreds of years of wisdom to bring to bear. Her offer was tempting.
I looked at Richard. His yellow skin had an unhealthy, dry look to it. His tentacles drooped in the way they had since I broke our bond. He sensed me looking at him, two eye stalks lifting. We looked at each other with different motives. I was trying to make a decision critical to the course of my life. He was trying to figure out why I was suddenly staring at him.
I saw the moment he figured it out. His tentacles dropped in a way I associated with a forfeiture of hope.
I looked up at the sister of the blue-haired Lael, Rhi Voss, the undying [Lich], queen of Niyatgra, and gave my answer.
I wanted to talk about the second arc in Stumbling Up. A lot has happened since we met our trio of losers and their slimy friend. But spoilers ahead... if you're not caught up to Chapter 43 STOP reading :)
They beat a [Corrupt] guardian, faced down Cole's family, and took on Rhi Voss herself. We've had some larger revelations about how the system works, Meredeath's off-worlder reveal, and the truth about Cole and Richard's bond.
A lot of ground was covered. The fight with the bear is the highlight of our cover and one of the more epic battles so far in the story.
I hadn't planned the scenes with Cole's family; they just happened. It was one of those instances where Leo and Tandy took the reins and swerved the story into Sunday dinner. I always knew Cole had a large farming family, but the dynamics between them were pretty organic. I have a sketch of his family tree somewhere, which I might post once I find it.
What did you all think of Rhi Voss? I would love to see the opening scene, where she emerges from the darkness, visually. She is such a badass. We're going to have to come back to her and her sister. There's a story there.
Thank you again for being on this journey with me! I'm enjoying every minute of it (well maybe not every minute... I did spend 30 minutes trying to decide what color Rhi's hair was going to be).
Good day to you all! I am dropping a note about upcoming events in August.
First - On August 19th at 7 pm CST/8 pm EST, I'll be taking over ChattinStats to interview Doug Lohse on his series Elsewhere. This will be live on https://www.youtube.com/@ChattinStats.
I conducted an interview series in July with various authors, which can be found on the channel. Check it out if you've got time. Previous guests included SourpatchHero, Ry, Jay Krauss, Erin Ampersand, JD Glasscock, Jason J. Willis, KT Hanna, and David North. Planning on continuing interviews (a couple a month), so if you have any suggestions, let me know!
DragonCon is upon us! I am attending DragonCon this year, you'll find me around the writing track panels and at the Westin. Hit me up here or on Discord if you want to meet up. We're going to have [Loot], including t-shirts, ribbons, and bracelets. So don't be shy!
We've got some exciting announcements coming soon about Stumbling Up's release date, narration, and art... So stay tuned as we finalize all the details... You'll be the first to know!
The howling grew louder, but I didn't see any hounds.
Meredeath and I struggled to pull Leo out of the reeds. Finally, we had him jump butt first onto the reeds, effectively distributing his weight.
"Where are they? I can't see any of them," Tandy sounded frantic, as the [Corrupt] water hounds sounded like they were right on top of us.
Ter Lance opened his mouth to reply when a dog jumped through the matted reeds and latched onto his leg. In one swift movement, the dog pulled off the skeleton lord’s leg bone, as another skeleton cleaved the monster in half with a sword.
A jaw full of teeth latched onto my ankle. It was some sort of aquatic-dog zombie, with otter-like tufts of fur surrounded by pale blue skin. The dog's teeth tore through my pants, sinking into my skin as it used powerful hind legs to pull me into the water.
My last glimpse of the team was of Leo drawing his axe and Meredeath's glowing pendant as she blocked an attack on Tandy. Then I was gone, dragged beneath the water. The dog must have had webbed feet as powerful strokes pulled me under. The weight of my hammer helped sink us to the bottom of the lake. I struggled to hold my breath. Not ready to die.
Unable to hold it any longer, I took a long gasp of the murky water. My gills kicked in, and my second lung took over, giving me sweet, sweet air. I didn’t need Richard to call me an idiot. I knew it.
My body went limp as I marveled at my gills working, the sensation of water entering my neck, and my water-lung providing me with air. This was fortunate because it was exactly what the [Corrupted] water hound was waiting for. It let me go, assuming I was already dead. The dog took off towards the surface to capture more prey.
My ankle burned as I kicked off the floor, launching myself towards the surface. My aim was off, and I slammed into the underbelly of the eedy mat. I hit hard, as though one of the skeletons had been standing above me. My head throbbed and my ears rang as my fingernails scrabbled to break the matting. My two lungs, for once, worked in unison, providing enough air as I struggled.
It was only a matter of time before one of the dogs noticed I wasn’t dead and dragged me off. Finally, my frantic efforts were rewarded as my fingers broke through. I tore the reeds apart.
The high-pitched whining in my head worsened as I breached the floor like a beached whale, throwing my body across the weeds. Immediately, my breaths grew ragged as my gills disengaged.
I blinked at the scene. Meredeath stood in front of Tandy, hair wild with her claws out. Her pendant glowed ominously as she crouched in her platform boots. Leo stood spinning his axe in the air as though he were trying to ward off evil spirits. It whistled as it whirled above his head like a dog whistle from hell. Sitting around him like he was about to dole out treats were five [Corrupt] water hounds.
The skeletal warriors had been wrecked. Several lay on the ground, missing leg bones, while others clung to the edge of the mat with their remaining hand. As I stood, I pulled my hammer free. It was time to join the fight. I limped towards the mesmerized dogs.
"Can you hurry up?" Leo asked, his voice strained. "I don't know how much longer I can keep their attention."
I glanced at Meredeath. She was breathing heavily with wild eyes dancing around the battleground. I wasn't sure she understood Leo's request. Tandy looked to be in a trance, lost in some skill.
It was up to me.
"I've got you, brother," I said, stepping forward and swinging my hammer at the first dog.
My swing obliterated the water dog's head in a magical flash and spray of viscera. Multiple notifications blinked. [Guardian’s Promise] did not approve of the [Corrupt] hounds.
The other dogs still sat complacently transfixed by Leo's axe. One of them licked the spray off its snout. I rampaged through the rest of the dogs, my hammer absolutely (w)recking the pack.
Panting, I stood covered in blood and guts, looking like a vengeful god.
They just wanted to play fetch.
I looked over at Richard, still clinging to Meredeath's shoulders.
"I've got a yellow chew toy I could give the next set of dogs that show up," I growled.
I was not in the mood. My ankle hurt, and I was soaked, chilled, I'd been threatened, almost killed a half dozen times, fried, drowned, en-fucking-gaged to a swamp mummy. I was done.
I marched towards the palace, ignoring the bony carnage. Ter Lance's head followed my path as he worked on reattaching his tibia. The reeds bounced under my feet as I stomped towards our goal.
Quickly, my boots hit dirt, then gray granite stairs. My ankle throbbed with each step as I climbed all hundred to the grand entrance. Giant pillars six feet across towered above me. The grand doorway stood open, its wooden door rotted away centuries ago. The inside of the palace sat in dark shadows ominously daring me to enter.
It was all huge. Grandiose. Made to make people like me feel small.
I was done feeling small.
"Rhi Voss, the all-powerful [Lich] of the palace, who can't be bothered to protect her soldiers and guests from a herd of zombie dogs. Show yourself! You have violated the basic rules of hospitality. I have a grievance with you!" My voice thundered as I channeled the most asinine version of Floria I could come up with.
The ground rattled. Dust and pebbles fell from the stacks of giant stone blocks. The colonnade bounced dangerously, angrily. It was as though the very building spurned my taunt. One of the distant pillars toppled, great circles of stacked granite falling. The whole facade shook with the impact, showering me in dust.
In front of me, shadows were given form as they reached out of the crumbling doorway. Like claws of a behemoth, they dug into the walls and pulled.
The walls groaned as they resisted folding under the pressure. The sharp grinding of rock sliding over rock was my only clue. The shadows weren't pulling the doorway down but using it as leverage to pull something forward.
Out of the darkness came a throne. An otherworldly platform inched into view. The stairs appeared to be made of black stone but were hollowed out in an interlocking lacy depiction of an epic battlefield of monsters fighting soldiers, stacks of skulls, and a city burning.
An angry flame ignited in the heart of the staircase, sharpening the scenes of warfare in a harsh light. My eyes traveled up to the pinnacle of the platform, where skulls were stacked to form a grotesque throne.
Fire flickered in eye sockets, through hollowed noses, and gaping mouths. The parody of life sat cruelly posed in judgment of the living.
Upon the throne sat a monster. She wore the skin of a woman. Her stringy, bone-white hair hung off her skull, doing little to hide her sunken face. No hint of beauty was found in the [Lich’s] features, sharpened by desiccation and age.
I thought she was grinning at me until I realized her lips had receded too far to change expression. Was she grimacing? Smiling? Who could say? She was all teeth.
The macabre scene was so grossly over the top. I should have been afraid. It was all uniquely sculpted to strike terror.
She opened her mouth, but I spoke first, "Are you done?"
The words caught in her throat. It was probably dry.
I waited, foot tapping impatiently.
The rational mind that I'd shoved into a deep corner of my brain quivered and blubbered in the small crevice it was regulated. The new idiot in charge of my mouth, the fearless fool who wouldn’t shut up, couldn't resist egging her on.
"Dust in your throat?" I asked, eyebrows high.
She stood, her moth-eaten gray rags crumbling with the movement. Her chest cavity was sunken with ribs barely covered by a thin layer of stretched skin.
My companions had arrived, standing behind me. I didn't need to look to imagine the shock on their faces.
Ter Lance, the imprisoned officer, walked around me. He positioned himself between me and Rhi Voss. His sword was up as though daring my impudence.
"Who put you up to this?" the woman's voice was thin, aristocratic, and outraged. "Was it Richard?"
I looked over my shoulder at the quivering slug clinging to Meredeath. Why was it always the god-damned slug?
I stepped forward. Ter Lance raised his sword threateningly.
"Why," I bit the words through clenched teeth, "does everything have to revolve around that asshole?"
Her eye muscles twitched as though she tried to blink.
Then her cheeks rose infinitesimally, "So his charms have improved, have they?"
I stared at the remnants of the queens of Niyatgra as she looked at me, eyes wide.
We filled her ancient antechamber with gales of laughter. Mine full-throated, deep, and alive. Hers was high-pitched and oddly girlish.
I eyed Richard on his perch. This time, he avoided my look, not because he was ashamed of us, but because he didn't want to answer any questions about his relationship with Rhi. Instead, he sat, indignant head forward, tentacles stretched out as though he were leading us himself to Rhi. What a poser.
With the pace slowed, my health and stamina bars had recovered. I could breathe. I could think.
The ring gifted to me by Rhi's sister sat heavy on my hand. I tugged at it, but it stubbornly refused to move.
"I think it's stuck," I said out loud, tugging at the gold band.
Tandy, who hadn't left my side, frowned, grabbing my hand. She gave a few gentle tugs.
"[Detect Weave]," she murmured, gripping my wrist tightly, now entirely in control of my hand, holding it up in the air. "Cole, I think you're going to regret putting this on your ring finger."
"How so? I just slipped it on in the middle of the fight."
"It's soul bound, isn't it?" Tandy still held my hand up as she examined the ring.
Was it? I scrolled back through my notifications. Sure enough, [Blessings of the Waters] was soulbound.
"Looks like it," I said, staring at the [Error] messages in the description.
"Well, now you have an excuse for your inability to get a girlfriend," Leo chimed in, chuckling.
It was on my left ring finger, right where a promise ring would go. Was I engaged to a blue-haired undead mummy?
I imagined a possessive ghost haunting any potential match.
I was never going to find a girlfriend.
"You can't make this stuff up," I said dejectedly, as Tandy gave the ring a couple of tugs.
With our pace slowed, I'd finally been able to pick up my head and look around. The water level had doubled in this area of the swamp, and we walked in a corridor with six-foot-tall walls. The deeper water had gotten clearer, and I could see through it. My assumption about an ancient graveyard had been mostly correct. It appeared as though we were walking through a ruined metropolis.
Half walls stood crumbled or flattened, the only impression a vague footprint of a foundation. We passed a 'town square' with an ornate fountain made of marble with three bronze horse heads held high. The sides of the road, the dirt surrounding the fountain, and the floors of the collapsed buildings had all been repurposed for a darker reason.
Gravestones sat in neat lines along the road, surrounding the fountain, and even in the middle of the building’s foundations. Some of the markers had script, some were ornate, but a horrifying majority were simply blank, with just a year of death noted.
"Does anyone know what happened in the fifth age 743?" I'd taken the village classes, all youth did, but history had always been a weak point. Who cared what happened before? We lived in the present.
I was beginning to see the shortsightedness of my youthful philosophy.
"I think the fifth age ended in 750?" Tandy said. She was always the bookworm of our group. She blamed her grandmother's intolerance of imperfection, but I think she just liked school. "So whatever happened here was probably a precursor to the rise of the Ursine Wall. I know our classes didn't cover this, I would have remembered an ancient city on the doorstep to Woodsten."
I agreed, even my inattentive teenage brain would have held onto an ancient burial in our backyard like a dog with a bone.
I watched as a water viper followed us. The venomous snake was swimming across the top of the water, its tongue whipping as it tasted the air.
"They probably didn't want to tell you for fear you'd go investigate," Meredeath said, her head turning towards us. "How about you, Richard? You obviously know Rhi, do you know the history of the place before she took up residence?"
We all focused on Richard, as his tentacles drooped.
This was once known as the Niyatgra, which roughly translates as Blessed Waters.
"Like my ring?" I asked, confused. The fifth age ended over six hundred years ago. Were Rhi Voss and Lael, her sister, really that old?
Yes, like your ring. Rhi and Lael were the ruling sisters of the city before it fell.
"How is she still alive?"
"How did you know her?" I blurted over Meredeath's question.
Richard's skin was almost dry. His head downcast, tentacles retracted.
The snake that had been tracking us made its move, jumping from the water straight at Leo’s face. One of the guards moved smoothly, chopping the viper in two midair. The warrior knelt quickly as the head of the snake bit ineffectually at its fleshless hand and stabbed through the head of the snake.
I was suddenly glad I hadn’t tried to take on these ancient warriors.
Richard carried on as though my heart thumping in my chest was overdramatic.
It's a long story, but it comes down to [Immortality]. Rhi is a [Lich], which you probably could have guessed.
"What's a lich?" I asked, unfamiliar with the term. Meredeath turned to look at me, almost tripping.
"How do you not know what a [Lich] is? Even I know what a [Lich] is and..." she trailed off, glancing at our silent sentinels, worried they might be listening. We'd agreed to keep her otherworldly background a secret. No good could come from Rhi understanding that little quirk about her before she was ready.
The world has forgotten so much. Richard's mental voice sounded so tired. I almost felt for the little slug. A [Lich] is a class, and Rhi is above a [Sage] in mastery. One of the specializations available to [Liches] is [Necromancy], as you can see, she has this specialization. [Lich] is also a path to [Immortality].
A memory triggered. The slime-covered book in the Library of Alta and On Immortality and Death by Magus Reaver. Lich was one of the classifications that contained the skill [Immortality]. I had no idea it was wrapped up in the walking dead that surrounded us.
"And you know her?" Tandy repeated my question, not wanting it to be dropped.
We dated for a while.
Meredeath gagged, weakly speaking, “Maybe someone else can carry Richard for a while.”
No one volunteered. How did a slug and a presumably undead human date? I had to shut down that line of thinking before it went too far.
I could just picture… nope, not going to do it.
Richard ignored our collective horror.
And then I was her prisoner for a decade. Let's just say my presence isn't going to help your cause.
Richard fell silent, and his words had a finality that prevented any of us from asking more questions.
Had Richard been around for the fall of Niyatgra?
The path sank lower as we walked, and now the water surrounding us rose to fifteen feet. It was as though the swamp had given way to a real lake.
We're getting close. This was the reflecting lake in front of the palace.
Looking around, the ruins had given way to what looked like an actual lake bottom. Long strands of lily pad roots dangled while toothy fish zipped in and out of the tangle. Strands of seaweed reached towards the sun.
A four-foot-long predator with a long snout full of teeth deftly weaved through the weeds. I found myself grateful we hadn't tried to complete our original plan by slogging through here ourselves.
"What was the tidemaw’s home?" Leo asked. My confusion must have been evident as he coughed and added to his question, "If it's deeper here because of the reflecting lake, and the tidemaw sat three times deeper into the ground, it had to be sitting in something, right?"
My eyes swiveled to Richard. It was a decent question.
The tidemaw wasn't always that big. It was a pet of Lael's, and when she came home to fight the war, it rested here.
It probably grew bigger in the ensuing 500 years. How long did tidemaws live?
I think it ended up in the old marble quarry. Although I'm not intimately familiar with tidemaw biology, it's possible the beast could burrow out its own nest with magic.
We'd hit the middle of the lake, towering walls of water extending twenty-five feet above us. If Rhi wanted us dead, this would be an easy way to kill us. My hand rose to touch my gills, thinking of it. I might have a slight survival advantage, but the vindictive wildlife would make a snack of me.
"What do you think our chances are of leaving this place alive?" Tandy asked, as we finally passed the halfway point.
Very low.
Most days, I just wished Richard would shut up.
No one argued with him. I pissed me off even more when he was probably right.
With each step, we were gaining elevation. The undead seemed lighter, as though they were relieved to be home.
As we neared the shore of the lake and unimpressive expanse of more swamp sat before us. It proved a mirage, as the air began shimmering.
The illusion of wilderness dropped to reveal an unseen wonder. A palace’s spires rose out of the wilderness. Nothing in my rough-hewn experience of the [Outpost] of Woodsten prepared me for the scale and magnificence. It made Woodsten look like an outhouse.
White columns extended, holding up a dome of shimmering marble. The building extended to the right and left, towering over the swamp. Gold accents sat highlighting reliefs of great heroes and heroines fighting monsters and traveling the world. A boggy lawn of waist-high reeds floated between us and a swath of grey steps that led to a huge doorless entrance.
"Hush," the giant skeleton lord spoke in a deep voice. His head turned to us, and at once, I realized he was no longer an animated puppet but an independent sentient being. "We must tread carefully. [Corruption] has infiltrated Niyatgra, and not all who tread the palace grounds are friends."
For telling us to be quiet, the warrior was awfully wordy. The skeletons around us all watched the waist high reeds as though expecting an attack at any moment.
As we stepped forward, I pulled [Guardian's Promise] off my hip. We stepped out of the lake bed onto waterlogged ground. The magic that had provided us a path to the palace dissipated, water rushing to fill the last trace of our journey.
I looked out across the swamp, the water lilies and reeds, and bog trees dominated the landscape, leaving only hints of half-fallen walls and ancient headstones to hint at the once-thriving city below.
We took another step forward, and my attention returned to the chore at hand. The reedy grass mat bobbed under our feet as we spread out trying to distribute our weight. Each step forward rippled the woven reeds. It reminded me of a fly caught in a spider’s web.
Leo was having a tough time keeping his feet. His weighty frame was at a distinct disadvantage when floating across the reeds. He stepped heavily, trying to catch himself, only to have his foot break through the reeds, sinking to just above his knee.
Swearing loudly, Leo tried pulling himself out of the bog but only succeeded in busting his other foot through. He had a reeded mat wrapped around him like a giant diaper.
Leo mocked me for my ring placement, and now he was getting swallowed by swamp diapers. Cosmic payback is quick sometimes.
Flailing, my giant friend looked about to throw a temper tantrum.
"A little help here?" he grunted, trying to pull himself up on the quickly disintegrating weeds around him.
A howl went up in the distance, it was long and mournful. Several howls and barks joined the call.
Ter Lance swore.
"You've done it now. The water hounds are going to be on us. They were the first to fall to corruption. Prepare for battle." The squad of soldiers snapped into formation, weapons pointed down at the reeds themselves.
I knelt next to Leo, helping him scramble back on top of the mat. I had the sickening impression we were going to need his singing axe momentarily.
Meredeath must have agreed as she joined me. We shared a tight smile as Leo continued to struggle.
I never expected to survive the [Trial Dungeon], but I was still surprised when I realized we were all about to die. To be fair, Richard had warned us about Rhi Voss. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't really blame him this time.
"Uh, guys, what are we going to do?" I asked, proud that my voice wasn't shaking.
Leo, Tandy, and Meredeath stood with weapons drawn before two dozen animated skeletons. I focused on the one in front, trying to trigger [Analyze] until I realized it was one of the many skills that I'd lost.
"We're going to go with them," Meredeath said calmly. Richard trembled on Meredeath’s shoulders, his tentacles pulled tight. "This is our escort."
The lead skeleton stood regally. He looked at me, green orbs glowing in empty eye sockets. His armor was rusty and old, like that of his companions, but it was more ornate in design. Etchings of falcons were outlined in moss and grit. He’d been the one in charge in life, and that seemingly extended through undeath.
"Is this your entire [Party]?" The skeleton lord stepped forward. The voice was hers, Rhi’s, but the body was still his. It made every word feel dissonant in my ears.
"It is," Meredeath responded coolly, as though talking to a yellow boned undead puppet was a typical Tuesday. Maybe it was.
"Very well. Know that my swamp will take care of anyone you've omitted." The bone lady’s tone made it clear exactly how any stragglers would be dealt with. “Follow Ter Lance and his escort.”
The light in presumably Ter Lance’s head flickered from a flame to a spark. The skeleton lord mechanically turned towards the swamp, not bothering to monitor our compliance.
Our escort encircled us, weapons on display. Some held spears, while others wielded rusted swords with round shields made of rotten wood. A few held ancient bows with unfletched arrows notched on them. I wasn’t sure what damage they could do, but at this range, it wouldn’t take much.
The undead moved in a precise cadence that was hard to mimic in humanity. Each step was taken in unison as they turned to face the swamp.
We hurried, shoving camp supplies into our packs. I quickly rolled my mom’s old quilt, stuffing it into the top of my bag.
The soldiers stood eerily silent, faces pointed towards the swampy horizon. I held my hammer, contemplating how many I could take out before they killed me. The answer was simply not enough. The skeletal warriors didn’t seem to care if we had or held our weapons. They were rightly confident in their ability to handle any threat we posed.
The waters of the swamp rippled. A line of disturbance seemed to be racing towards our position. I braced, ready to fight whatever new foe this was.
“Is it a snake?” Tandy asked. She hated snakes.
“Too fast,” Meredeath whispered.
“How fast does a skeletal snake move?” I asked, watching the approaching gush of water. At this point, I wasn’t willing to negate any possibility.
The skeletons stood ramrod straight as we were showered in muddy water. A ball of green energy crackled in the air. Whisps of energy reached out and danced along the flaking edges of the escort’s armor. The skeleton lord stepped forward as though he’d been given an unheard command.
“That’s incredible,” Tandy whispered, eyes fixed on the ball of energy. “It’s going to part the waters for us.”
I’m not sure how in the corrupt hells she knew what the spell was going to do, but sure enough, as the skeleton lord stepped forward, the swamp peeled away from his feet. The escort stepped forward, making their intention clear. We were to follow him to their mistress.
This time, I didn't bother blocking out Richard's voice.
We are so fucked.
For once, he spoke nothing but the truth.
We got a unique view of the swamp. Water and mud parted in a ten-foot-wide corridor. Meredeath was in awe, as though this were a miracle of miracles. I guess water magic like this wasn't much of a thing in her world.
Richard sat coiled tightly around her neck. His skin glistened with anxiety slime. I didn't miss that.
I stepped into the corridor first, and the swamp waters stood three feet high, held back by an invisible wall. I imagined the water straining at the barrier so it could break through and devour us. The bone lady’s magic was strong. Even the tree roots had parted with the waters. My boots hit solidly, the ground was a solid-packed earth with rectangular brown bricks peeking through. It was as though I stood on an ancient road.
I looked past the ornate lord, noting the path led straight towards the heart of the valley and the ancient ruins I’d spotted from my tree perch. Maybe it was a road.
The skeletons moved forward in unison, their bone heels clicking on the road. Tandy, Meredeath, and Leo didn't have much choice but to follow. Being left behind wasn't an option with the sharp spears of our rear guard pointed towards us. The skeletons weren't protecting us from the swamp. They were here to ensure we followed directions.
I was just glad I didn't have to slog through miles of mud. For the first time in days, I started to dry out. It should have felt good, but my gills itched.
As we moved down the corridor, the magic holding back the swamp folded in on itself, sealing our fate. Water rushed in, closing any hope of a quick escape. The barrier protecting us sat only six feet away from the rear guard.
The skeleton escort walked without fear through the deadly swamp. Trees that would have ripped the skin off our faces leaned back away from the corridor. They lashed their branches in displeasure, but none dared cross into our corridor.
A brisk pace was set. The undead minions had no time for our awe. They didn’t pity us as we tried to keep the flies and mosquitoes from eating us for breakfast. They didn’t care that I was starting to have trouble catching my breath.
"How far is it?" Leo's voice broke the silent march.
The skeleton lord turned its head 180 degrees to face Leo as he marched forward. His mouth clacked, but without the green magic of the bone lady, no distinguishable words came. The unnaturalness of it all didn't encourage follow-up questions.
I dropped back in the pack, letting Meredeath take the lead. This was her quest, and I wasn't suited for the vanguard role. Richard clung, a glistening mess of slime, to her shoulders. He kept his tentacles forward, actively avoiding looking at me. I didn't blame him, I didn't want to talk to him either.
The miles passed quietly. Our guards kept an untiring pace. I’d begun to really struggle. My stamina and health bars had started a slow but steady decline. Each breath was a sharp attempt to grab as much air as I could. Every time I slowed a little too much, trying to catch my breath, the butt of a spear poked me in the kidney.
"Cole, you okay?" Tandy's voice quietly cut through my suffering.
"Yeah," gasp, "I just," gasp, "can't catch..." For the love of the Everbear, I couldn't even form a complete sentence.
Tandy stopped walking, dropping behind me as she stared down the rearguard. Grateful, I stopped, bending over with my hands on my knees. I just needed a couple of good breaths.
"Stand up, Cole. Hands on your head. It'll help open up your breathing," Meredeath said, pulling me up. I glared at her as I complied, resting my hands on my head like an idiot. I just wanted to be left alone. Couldn’t we just be there already?
Our guards were not amused. They’d come to a stop and faced us with raised weapons.
"Hey, I can keep going," I lied. I mean, I could keep going, but it was becoming plain that I wasn't going to keep going all the way to Rhi Voss.
My companions formed a ring around me, facing out with their weapons handy.
The skeleton lord stood impassive for a moment. The dim spark of magic in the back of his skull flared as his mouth started moving.
"I am surprised you're choosing to sacrifice yourselves to the swamp. Although the energy donation will not go unused." The skeleton’s jaw clacked like a puppet with Rhi’s voice floating through its mouth.
"We are not sacrificing ourselves, we are resting. Humans need to rest," Meredeath said, pointing at me.
The lord stepped forward, the edge of his sword threatening violence. The spark in his skull grew larger, backlighting his eyes.
"Weakness should be plucked like a weed. I could do you a favor," the woman purred. I couldn't keep my eyes off the pitted longsword pointed at my face. The edge looked sharp enough to do the job.
Meredeath's fingernails elongated into claws as she crouched, ready to defend me. As dangerous as she looked, claws weren’t going to be much use against that sword.
ENOUGH! Richard's voice thundered in all of our heads. One of the more deteriorated skeletons’ heads popped off with the pressure of Richard's mental shout. The pile of bones crumbled to the ground with the soldier's corroded sabre hitting tip down like a martial grave marker.
Are you blind, old woman? Do you see his ring? Richard's mental voice hissed, like water on a hot pan.
The skeleton didn't have eyes, but its head tilted towards me. Expressionless and still, it was hard to gauge a reaction.
"Graverobber?! You bring me a graverobber?!" she roared. The undead stepped forward, ready to finish us.
Technically, she wasn’t wrong. My panicked mind remembered the blue-haired mummy, hand extended. But she wasn’t right either.
He has her blessing, you bag of dust! Have your eyes rotted completely out of your head?
The advance of the skeletal guards stopped. She eyed me through her bony puppet.
"I must verify this trickery personally. Carry him if you must." The skeleton lord twisted abruptly, and they set off at the same untiring pace. I was quickly gasping again, this time a stitch formed in my abdomen.
Step after step. I focused on Richard’s slimy form. The jerk had saved us, yet again. Maybe I should just go back to being his pet.
My vision blurred as my health and stamina started to sink. My lungs burned, and the gills on the side of my neck flexed ineffectually.
I stepped on Leo's heel and tripped.
"I'm sorry," I blurted, as I failed to catch myself, my knee slamming into the ground, followed by the slap of my hands trying to catch the rest of me. Leo caught himself before he fell.
I braced for the expected jab from the rear guard. My knee throbbed, and my hands stung. I wasn't sure I could stand, much less get back to marching.
Nothing happened. The entire retinue had stopped, and the guards behind us stood, their eyes fixed on the ground. Tandy knelt, helping me up. Her eyes were glued to the guards, waiting for a reaction.
I stood slowly, wincing as my muscles protested. Our escort waited silently.
I limped forward, my knee was already starting to swell. Nothing happened, no threats, no spear butts.
This is why we never worked out! The silent treatment isn’t healthy communication.
I didn't realize until that moment how much noise Richard created in my head. Like his slime, his thoughts tended to get in everything.
I'd fought my whole life for silence.
When I was a kid, I fought so hard for my own time, my own space. We never had enough of either. I'd go out in the woods trying to escape. Flo accused me of dodging chores, but that was only half of it.
Until I left home, and realized silence was overrated when my mind filled it for me.
I’m not sure if other people are like this. Never really talked to Tandy or Leo. Or Share, for that matter. But when I'm alone, my brain takes over. It's why I tried so hard to pick up [Meditation] to quiet the voices in my head.
That's why I had to leave Richard.
I sat in the cold morning fog, looking out across the swamp. I'd agreed to take the early watch because I wanted this time alone.
Before the questions started.
To sit with my thoughts.
Meredeath moaned, caught in a nightmare. She’d done it every night she’d slept. I asked her if she wanted me to wake her up. Her response still gave me a shiver.
“If you woke me up every time I have a nightmare, I’d never get any sleep,” she said it dead-eyed, as though this was normal.
I ran my fingers across my neck, feeling the scaly gills on my skin. Maybe walking nightmares were the new normal.
The gills were now a permanent part of my body. A nightmare I couldn’t escape. The gills fought with my normal lungs. Everything worked, sure, but only just. Breathing felt like slipping air through a straw reed.
When the system notified me that I was losing [Dead Wrong] and all the attributing skills, I'd hoped that [Gills] would go too.
A cough wracked my body. I spit a wad of phlegm into the dirt.
My stamina was halved. It made sense with only half the lung capacity.
The problem with becoming an [Adventurer] is that I'd lost most of my mundane skills. So [Meditation] wasn't something I could trigger with a thought. I went back to my first lessons, sitting calmly. One eye scanning the swamp for threats, the other trying to find the inner peace I desperately needed.
"Hey."
I almost jumped out of my skin.
Tandy sat down next to me on the log.
"You're supposed to be sleeping," I said, wondering why she was up.
Tandy ignored my question and started her first morning chore, unbraiding her hair. Unbraided, her hair sat in wild waves. I think her hair was as straight as a board, like mine, but a lifetime of weaving made it wild.
"Did you sleep much?" she asked in her quiet voice, as she too watched the swamp.
I had not, as I found it hard to get comfortable. I’d taken breathing for granted my entire life, and now that I couldn’t seem to get a full breath, it was impossible not to think about it.
"Not really," I admitted. We sat like that for a while, waiting for the other to continue.
A dull rumble rippled across the swamp.
“That still happening often?” Tandy asked.
“Yep,” I replied. Ever since the tidemaw had died, the swamp seemed to be adapting and or taking note of us. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I sure didn’t feel like talking.
Morning came late this close to the Ursine Wall. I stared off into the distance at the looming peaks, dark against the predawn light.
"Why'd you go off and fight the tidemaw alone?" Tandy's question wasn't the one I expected.
I played with a reed, bending the fibers back and forth, daring it to crack.
"I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't just a tag-along. That I belonged on a team with you, Leo, and Meredeath." I left Richard off I wasn't sure any of us belonged on a team with him.
Tandy shook her head, running fingers through her hair. Bits of leaf and twig fell out. Once satisfied, she started her daily task of rebraiding the strands together.
"I think I'm the useless one," she said, surprising me again. Before I could protest, she cut me off with a glance. "I have no real combat capabilities. I've almost died a dozen times. I don't know what I'm doing most of the time, and I've lost most of the skills I'd earned as a [Weaver]. Objectively, I am the most useless of the party. You've at least killed a few monsters. I haven't even done that."
I thought back through the fights and realized she was right. Tandy hadn't earned a kill per se, but she'd saved my life more than a couple of times.
"You’ve pulled me out of death’s jaws more times than Leo’s stolen your scissors.” I wheezed at the joke, my debuff deflating my laugh. “It just doesn’t tally up the same way.”
The crickets chirped. An owl hooted a farewell to the night.
“My value came from Richard," I said, my throat closing on his name. The truth was, I'd never had Richard. I was his. My dreams of having a dire wolf someday seemed so childish. So out of the realm of possibility. I couldn't even be trusted with the charge of a slug.
"I'm sorry about that. I, we, should have told you, but..." Tandy stopped braiding and turned to me. "The longer we waited, the more it was going to hurt. Cole, I love you like a brother. I know that means something different to you, you've got six actual siblings."
I tried to protest, but she stopped me.
"What I'm trying to say is that I don't have any siblings. You and Leo are it. You're my family. So I'm going to say this as kindly as I can, because I think you need the truth." I braced as she took a steadying breath.
"The problem isn't us. None of us has viewed you as a tag-along. Richard didn't seem to treat you like a pet. I mean, he’s a jerk, but he treats us all like that." I forced my eyes to meet hers. "You're the one who needs to decide you belong here. You need to believe it."
That was it? I needed to believe in myself? If only I hadn’t thought of that.
"If only that were true," I laughed, looking back over the swamp. A red-winged blackbird flew overhead, perching on a cattail. It let loose a shrill call.
"It's true, and I'll be by your side until you figure out what you need to do to believe in yourself." She stood up, saving me the embarrassment of trying to hide my tears. "Come on, let's cook some breakfast. If we're going to face the bone lady, we might as well do it with a full stomach."
I stood, my knees creaking.
"Thanks, Tandy."
"No problem, if we survive this, we need to sit down and have a talk. I need to do something I should have done a long time ago."
"What's that?" I threw my reed into the grass, brushing off my pants.
"I'm going to tell you my family's progression secrets," she said confidently. I was surprised. Both Leo and I had noticed how she watched us struggle with our broken builds. We never held her secrets against her. She'd wanted to tell us, but the three of us knew it would have cost her relationships with her family.
Leo snored as I got the fire going, and Tandy sliced up a couple of apples to add to the oatmeal.
"Do you think we'll find her today?" Meredeath asked.
I blocked out Richard's voice. I could hear him now through the [Partial Rapport] since I was back at the party, but I didn't have to. The glory of it was that now I could choose to lock his voice out, and so far I had.
"That's good," Tandy said. Which I surmised meant we'd make it. No one wanted to be in this swamp longer than a day.
"It'll be fine, Richard. If you want, we can leave you here. I can find Rhi Voss on my own." Meredeath looked up at the rest of us and continued, "Honestly, that's true for all of you. You don't have to be here." She looked straight at me when she said it.
"I belong with the party as much as anyone," the words bubbled out of me. Why did she want to leave me behind?
"That's not what I meant. Damn it, Cole, you almost died in the tidemaw for me. This is my quest. My problem." I could tell Meredeath was angry, but I didn't understand why. She was clutching the pendant at her neck, and I realized it was glowing red under her hand.
"I didn't die, and going after the tidemaw was my choice, not yours," I said, trying to calm her down. I stepped closer, my hands out. Richard was still lying on the log next to her. "Everything's okay."
Meredeath's knuckles were turning white as she clutched at the skull pendant, her eyes had gained a red haze. I could see her jaw clenched, as though trying to prevent her from saying something. Or...
"Are you taking damage?" I brought up our party interface to confirm. Yes, she'd dipped below 50%.
"I am, got to work off the Dunglord still, much less that damn bear," she said between clenched teeth.
I nodded, meeting her red eyes, "What I did with the tidemaw wasn't any different. You're not the only one who can sacrifice for the team."
Her eyes flashed, slitting vertically as she repressed a snarl. I backed away.
Maybe my [Gills] weren’t so bad. It seemed like the [Adventurer] gig extracted a price.
Meredeath shook, trembling, until the haze in her eyes dulled, and her hand released the pendant. Meredeath turned away, her blue hair glowing in the morning light.
I made myself busy by walking off to find some dry wood for the fire.
Why did everyone feel like they needed to protect me? I kicked a rotten log, reveling in the splintering of wood. Meredeath was literally torturing herself to protect us. Some small part of my brain knew I was being whiny, and if Richard were still in my head, I'm sure he would have told me.
I picked up a barkless stick that had worm tracks across the wood. Using it, I poked at a wine-capped mushroom. It was Richard's favorite.
Did I want to be an adventurer without a safety net like Richard? Did I have enough guts to tell Tandy and Leo that I wanted out?
"Cole, we need you back here!" Leo called frantically, his voice echoing in the woods. I dropped my stick and started running.
I wanted to give a formal thanks to all of you who are coming along on this ride with me. Did you know that a group of slugs is called a cornucopia? Well, congratulations, you're part of the Cornucopia now :).
Being an author has been a lifelong dream for me. I wrote a truly awful Dragon Riders of Pern-Knights of the Round Table mash-up when I was a kid. (You can ask Jen, they've actually seen it) And since then, I've been hooked on the idea of sharing a story.
Books saved me over and over in my life, giving me an escape, a broader worldview, and heroes/heroines to look up to. I read a lot - which is why I'm always posting about the latest book and asking PopPop for the next recommendation.
When I picked up Dakota Krout's Dungeon Born almost ten years ago, I went down the LitRPG rabbit hole and have never really looked back. I've got a couple of LitRPG novels collecting dust in a drawer, but Stumbling Up is my first success in the genre (let's be real, I owe Richard a lot).
Tidemaws are giant leviathans who sit in river deltas and salt marshes. They slowly burrow into the ground, expanding their bodies and control over the local water. The creatures get their names because they can influence the tides, drawing prey in or pushing potential predators out. Our tidemaw was a giant among leviathans, controlling almost the entirety of the swamp with its moist breath, drawing more than one curious explorer towards its mouth with dancing lights.
One of my prized books, which I’d stashed in my pack, was a compendium of monsters that indicated that tidemaws, while classified as monsters, for the most part preyed on bugs, small animals, and water creatures. That they existed much like the brush comb whales of the deep ocean.
This one had been different, influenced by the corruption spilling over the Ursine Wall. It was twisted, reveling in human flesh, in the draw and trap of sentient life. I wasn't sad to see its life end, but as I fingered the now-closed slits along my neck, I knew that killing a legend didn't leave me unscathed.
The tidemaw's death throes were long and violent. It opened and closed its mouth, as though snapping for the life draining from it.
I had a front seat to the tidal forces, as no one was able to pull me out of the muck. Waves of water gushed out of the tidemaw, followed by moments the ground almost tilted to suck moisture down. Everyone else had to retreat to higher ground or risk getting sucked into the dying creature. Everyone but Richard, who used his [Glue] skill to stick to my shoulders.
At first, I worried that the maw was going to drain the swamp with it, but it died with its jaws clenched shut. A tall wall of warty skin shut tight, leaving a giant green mound where the dark pool of death had been.
[Corrupt Tidemaw defeated. You have earned experience.]
[Quest Granted: [Legacy of Lael Voss]
You have defeated the corrupt companion of Lael Voss, earning her undying gratitude, completing the first half of the [Legacy of Lael Voss]. To complete Lael's legacy, talk to Rhi Voss. If you are successful in getting Lael's Key, return to her workshop and clear out the corruption to complete the quest. Adventure Onward.]
Great, another quest. If that was Lael's companion, I didn't want to know what waited in her workshop.
If I have to get covered in muck one more time, I’ll quit.
We'd been through several rounds of water receding, then flooding over us, then receding. Richard had kept using his [Clean] skill to wipe the muck off every time. I didn't have the luxury, so I looked like a swamp monster out for revenge.
"You could have left. I'm sure Meredeath would have taken good care of you," I said the words calmly, refusing to bite the bait. Richard was fine.
Every time I let you out of my sight, you die.
I didn't have a rebuttal to that. He was right.
"At least I don't stay dead?" I wiped muck from my eyes. I was tired of the smell of half-rotten vegetation and the mud in my boots. Of being dirty. There was grit in my gills.
Yes, but [Gills]? What are you, a sea slug?
Richard shuddered, as though nothing in the world was worse than a sea slug. He had his hang-ups.
I didn't know what I was anymore. Was I human? I had gills. Sure, it was associated with a skill, but skills usually didn't alter a person’s physical appearance. Maybe I was becoming a swamp monster.
"Richard, can you explain to me why I have [Gills]? Skills aren't supposed to work like that, are they?" I was proud that my voice quavered only a little. I was alive, for that I should be grateful, but I wasn't sure [Cheat Death] was something I wanted to use if it was going to change me like this.
I was hoping we could avoid this question for a while. What do you say? Want to not die for a while? Are you even capable of that?
"You planned for me to have [Gills]?" Everything I thought I'd pieced together about Richard was falling apart.
No. The body augment. [Cheat Death] is an obnoxious skill if you are not careful with it. And you've been anything but cautious.
"It's going to be a bit before the rest of them join us, and I'm stuck. So let's have the conversation now."
Richard undulated, moving from his shoulder perch. The swamp was still wet, but it was drier than it had been with the tidemaw dead. The muck around my body had dried, cementing me in place. Once everyone was back, they would have to help dig me out.
Richard oozed his way onto the wet mud and perched himself across from me on a bit of bark.
His yellow skin stood out in bright contrast to the rest of the grey and browns of the swamp. Richard's tentacles extended towards me, as though asking for patience. This conversation was long overdue.
What do you want to know first?
I had a hundred questions that had piled up. It was rare that I got some alone time with my slug.
"Am I your pet?" The question I was most afraid of bubbled out of me. When the system said it, I thought it was making fun of me. I'm sure it was, but I was afraid there was truth in its taunting.
That's a strange idea. Where'd you come up with that?
He dodged the question. Was I the pet of a slug?
"The system and I had a little chat." My words were tight.
Richard stood before me, his foot-long body glistening. His body rippled, something I'd come to associate with discomfort.
The system is a world-class dick.
"Takes one to know one," I said. I don't know why the idea bothered me so much. It'd become apparent that while his powers weren't terribly helpful, Richard was somehow much more powerful than any of us. He'd been around for a long time. Hell, he claimed to know the bone lady. He called the system a jerk. Who did that?
But I was hoping that in becoming an [Adventurer] and surviving the [Trial Dungeon] that I'd finally step out into my own. I wasn't broken, I wasn't weak, I wasn't the tag-along. I was Cole, the [Adventurer]!
That's why the truth hurts. I was still just an extra, an add-on to Richard. Survived by chance, mainly because Richard and Meredeath protected me.
I looked at the fanged banana slug coldly. The slug's antenna drooped. The dark spots on his hide were dull and washed out.
So we're linked. We're companions. Does it matter who's 'in charge?' We're both entities with agency, wants, and dreams.
He was my owner. I'd been relegated to the role of a pet.
The realization was like a boulder hitting a lake. Ripples of change raced across my mind, reassigning meaning to our interactions, to my class choices, to my role on the team.
"Are you immortal?" I asked, but it wasn't the question I needed to ask. However, it was a good distraction as I built up my nerve.
I'm not dead yet.
"That's not an answer."
It's remarkably hard to prove immortality. I haven't died yet.
I hadn't either, but it didn't mean I was immortal.
"Why me?" I wasn't proud that I'd asked. I wasn't proud of how much I needed the answer to be something special. Something that set me apart. Made me special, unique.
You said yes.
Had I? I don't remember the system asking me if I wanted a yellow asshole following me around. Or me following him around.
"Does that mean I could say no now?"
You always have the right to say no.
[Please confirm: You wish to terminate [Companion] and [Sponsor] relationships with [Richard, the Fanged Banana Slug]?]
The pop-up notification hung in my vision. I thought about it and made a choice.
[Your relationship with [Richard, the Fanged Banana Slug] has been terminated. You have lost the class [Dead Wrong], you have lost the effect [Weak], you have lost the skill [Companion], you are no longer in [Your Mom's Party], you have lost [Partial Rapport] and [Minor Manipulate Slime].]
[Quest Granted: [Find a Sponsor]
Congratulations on passing the [Trial Dungeon] as an [Expeditionary Force]. You have lost your [Sponsor] for your specialized [Adventurer] class. You must find an appropriate sponsor for an [Adventurer] class that you are qualified for. You have [1 month] to complete this task. Failure to do so will result in a return to a mundane status. Adventure Onward.]
I watched as my health, stamina, and mana bars ticked up the same as Leo’s 75 points. I felt stronger and more able than I'd ever felt in my life.
"Had you been holding me back this whole time with a [Weakness] debuff?" I was angry and embarrassed. Betrayed.
Richard stared at me, his tentacles drooping.
Slugs don't win by might. We're tenacious. Survivors.
Tenacious liars.
If I could have walked away, I would have. But I was cemented in dried mud.
The voices of my friends filtered through the forest, it'd been a bit since the last dying spasm from the tidemaw. They'd taken refuge back in the natural forest, not having my affinity for breathing underwater.
Richard's head drooped, and I resisted the instinct to make it better. To make him feel better about the role he'd put me in. This wasn't my story. It was his.
Half sunk into the ground, I didn't have a great view of the forest, but I heard Tandy laugh. That'd been rare these last few years. She'd been pulled further and further into her family's plans for domination of the weaver trade. Their family dynasty. It was good to hear her laugh.
I needed to figure out if that was enough for me.
Meredeath rounded the corner first, her eyes looking for me. When she found me, her face lit up in a smile.
"Looks like you're stuck," Leo said, teasing me.
"I could use some help," I admitted, plastering on a fake grin. "Turns out a slug companion isn't so helpful at mud removal." I wondered vaguely if companion was even an appropriate word. Master? Owner? [Sponsor]? He was nothing now. Just sitting on the log. "Also, Tandy, could you reinvite me to [Your Mom's Party]?"
I watched her expression as she frowned at the interface, "Sure, Cole. Did you do something? You're not showing up under... the party drop-down anymore." She'd stuttered under Richard. She'd at least known the whole time.
A nugget of anger simmered in my chest. Had they all known?
As it turned out, no one was good at mud removal. Not without a shovel. It took the rest of the afternoon to dig with our hands to free me.
That night, we camped by the divide between the swamp and the forest. Richard clung to Meredeath, and she said something about him not feeling good. I couldn't hear him, for once. There was no incessant commentary on how I was screwing it all up.
I turned my back to the fire, contemplating how I was going to get a new [Sponsor] and possibly some new friends.
The thing about a skill that triggers on death is that there's no great way to test it.
The real problem is that the description of the skill was pretty frustrating:
[Cheat Death] is a passive skill that automatically triggers you to cheat fatal damage once per day. The methods of cheating death vary. Use at your own risk.
The only saving grace is that it was passive. Half the time, I'd died so far as an [Adventurer] I hadn't even realized I was in danger before the death blow.
This time, I was acutely aware of my death. Each health point dropped came with the panicky sensation of choking on swamp water. I'm sure it didn't take that long for me to die, but from my perspective, it was an eternity.
Finally, the notification triggered:
[You, Cole Thornfield, are [Dead].]
This time, instead of being deposited out of a dungeon portal, I materialized in a room. The room had no door, just a straw bed and an empty desk with a small wooden chair. It didn't shout 'prison cell,' but it didn't scream 'comfortable eternity' either.
I examined the walls. They weren’t made of brick or wood, nothing I recognized. They were just there, smooth, as if someone created an idea of a room without thinking through the details.
[You're Richard's pet, are you not?]
"I guess? He is my companion," the words stuck dry in my throat. Was I talking to the all-knowing [System] myself?
[Would you give up your class [Dead Wrong] for another one? I can arrange your options.]
I didn't need Richard on my shoulder to tell me that whatever the [System] was going to offer me was likely going to be a bad deal.
"I like my class," I said it as confidently as I could manage, considering I was still technically dead.
[How about Richard? What if I offered you a [Heroic] class, would you give up Richard?]
The [System] sounded annoyed, but tired. There was nothing in the world that would make me give up my friends, and unfortunately, I counted Richard a friend.
"Sorry, can't do that either."
Silence. I stood up, stretching. My clothes were dry, if a bit tattered. The whirlpool had taken its toll. I still had the princess's ring on my finger, and a good-sized sapphire sparkled at me. I tried to use [Analyze], but none of my skills were available to me.
"How long is this going to take?"
[How long is it going to take for you to be reasonable?]
I laughed, bluffing through my teeth, "My last name isn't Thornfield for nothing."
I sat down and picked at my fingernails. I could almost hear the cussing at my nonchalance. Maybe Richard had been rubbing off on me.
[I will return to you as soon as the changes are complete.]
"What changes? I didn’t agree..." My words cut off as I started screaming. It felt like razor blades had been applied to my neck and tiny splinters poked at my lungs. Thankfully, I lost consciousness pretty quickly.
When I woke up, a notification blinked in my vision, red and urgent. Floating on a cloud, with only a couple of health points down, I decided to read it.
[Cheat Death] has triggered.
[Blessing of the Waters] has triggered.
[Skill Acquired: You have gained a new [Dead Wrong] skill, [Gills]. This skill was acquired through [Cheat Death] and [Blessing of the Waters]. You have a permanent body augment that allows you to breathe underwater while retaining your ability to breathe out of water. The cost, however, is a decrease in stamina as one lung is dedicated to each activity. Additionally, you have gained a preference for moist environments.]
I opened my eyes to find what my body already claimed: that I was underwater. Deep underwater.
I took a breath, cool water slithered into my neck, the sensation tickling my throat. The liquid air filled my lung, giving me a sense of rightness even as my mind revolted at its alienness. The air tasted smoky, dirty, as though I was breathing in the smoke from a fire.
It was swamp water. And the gloom pressed in on me, the world dark, cold. It was new, but I was comfortable. I could execute my plan.
My hand no longer held the cutwood, but instead it'd barbed itself to my palm. I noted a [Bleeding] status. My health should have been slowly ticking down, but in my status bar, it held steady. Then my eye caught the dim sparkle of my ring. This time [Analyze] worked.
[[Blessings of the Waters] - This ring belonged to the most powerful [Water Mage] in an age, Leal Voss. It is imbued with magical properties including [Error], [Error], and [Error]. You do not have the correct class to utilize this ring fully. [Blessings of the Waters] is soulbound. A facet of this ring has been used by [Cheat Death] as a boon granted to [Cole Thornfield].]
Haunted by [Error] notifications, I could only imagine what they’d have said. Probably something useful like [Explode Swamp] or [Breathe Underwater without Gills]. Hell, I’d even settle for a [Summon Swamp Mommy]. Couldn’t a guy catch a break?
The water shook as though triggered by my audacity.
My fingers wrapped around the cutwood. I still had a job to do.
I'd come awake exactly where I wanted to be, at the bottom of the tidemaw's stomach. I twisted my body, still breathing without actually taking a breath.
I took my hungry stick and applied it to the spongy bottom of the pool.
The corrupt tidemaw must have felt it, as the water swirled around me.
I drove it deeper, trying to push it through the monster’s skin. Two feet of the stick disappeared before everything changed.
Pop!
Water started rushing past me, rushing out. My cutwood ripped out of my hand, slicing its way towards freedom. The hole I'd made grew bigger, and I very quickly had a different problem as I started to get sucked through. I kicked off the bottom, trying to gain distance from the hole. My feet kicked hard as I tried to swim against the ever-growing current.
Shit.
My stamina was draining, and I hadn't had much to start with. I hadn't thought this all the way through.
The sarcophagus had been thrown up in the turmoil. I grabbed at its sides, pushing myself up, as it fell.
The thing saved me. It wedged right in the hole, stopping the flood of water. At least temporarily. I swam hard, my [Cheat Death] skill was on cool down for the day, and I didn't have a backup plan.
Hell, I wasn't even sure my primary plan was going to work.
Legs kicking, I gained feet, then yards. I could see the sparkling sunlight above me through the debris floating in the tidemaws pool.
I kicked, almost there. My hands broke the surface, and suddenly I was choking for a moment on real air. The gills on my neck spasmed as they dried out, then closed. The air was hot and humid, but the sun shone. The swamp hovered around the mouth of the maw, waiting for what was next.
I heard a distant shout, "Look, there he is!"
Shading my eyes, I saw Leo, Tandy, and Meredeath standing on a small island with a downed tree. I waved.
Then the sarcophagus must have burst through because the tidemaw spasmed again, and a great whirlpool formed. Helpless in its rotation, I started circling down the drain.
Each circle brought me closer to my friends for a few seconds as I sank lower in the water. I could hear them yelling, but couldn't make out any of the words.
My ‘very detailed’ plan to poke the tidemaw in the stomach ended right after I poked. I hadn't considered how it would play out. I think part of my brain imagined a dungeon creature disappearing and leaving its loot behind. We weren't in a dungeon, though. This was real.
Something attacked my head. I flailed for a moment, dunking into the water. Trapped beneath the monster's sticky grip. It pulled at me, tugging me through the water like a sinker on a fishing line. I realized, after swallowing more than a bit of the swamp water, that it was a sticky net that I was trapped in.
"Cole, we're going to try to pull you up," Leo shouted, above the sounds of the tidemaw.
I just gave a thumbs up, their net solution was attempting to drown me as it was saving me.
The net pulled me up out of the water, against the spongy dark blue gums of the beast. Another pull and I'd be right on top of the first ridge of teeth. I suddenly wasn't too sure of their plan.
"Uh, guys... It’s going to shred me!" I yelled as they pulled me closer. I was surprised the rope hadn't frayed as it rubbed against the teeth. The rope glistened with a substance; was it magic? A skill of Tandy’s?
"Just hold on, try to get your feet against the side of the mouth.”
I twisted, sticking my arms through the net, trying to get as firm a grip as I could. It wasn't hard. The rope was coated in a sticky substance, not unlike glue. My feet braced, I had a better view as Tandy unrolled her bedroll across the teeth.
Tandy must have retained some of her weaving skills as the blanket tripled in length. A firm yank, and I was walking up the gums of the beast. As my foot hit the banket, it fluffed up and hardened, almost like a wooden plank. I danced over the teeth, holding onto the net as my friends hauled me out of the maw.
For the second time in a week, I survived being swallowed by a leviathan.
As they pulled, I stepped over one set of teeth, then the next, and was almost vertical in my ascent. The tidemaw seemed to be closing its mouth the more drained its inner pool. By the time I was on the thin, bulbous skin that had to be its lips, I was ten feet in the air.
Below me stood my friends, sweaty and covered in mud. Leo anchored the rope I was climbing by tying it around his waist. He dug his heels in the mud, having slid in the endeavor to rescue me.
Tandy’s eyes looked to be rolled up in her head as her hands stretched out, sending waves of skill power into the rope and bedroll. Meredeath hovered between the two, ready to leap into action if either faltered. Richard sat on her shoulders, looking woozy but alert. My friends had saved me.
Get down here before that thing snaps shut.
Leave it to Richard to bring me back to reality.
I glanced back. The whirlpool had expanded and was furious. Down in the center stood a figure. My eyes squinted, the figure had blue sparkling hair, but nothing else was clear. It appeared to be directing the water down. The figure's face looked up at me.
It may have been my imagination. It'd been a weird day. But it seemed like the figure waved, sending a splash of water up that tipped me over the lip of the maw. Tumbling down, I fell ten feet, hitting the ground in a dull splut, sinking up to my waist in the muck.
"I'm not giving you Miss Chopportunity unless you tell me what you're going to do with her." Leo held his [Enchanted Axe of Singing] close, petting it lovingly.
Damn it. There was no way he'd give me his axe if I told him what I was actually going to do with it. I had to come up with an alternative plan.
"You're calling your axe Miss Chopportunity?" Tandy asked.
"It works. She's Choppy for short." Leo held the double-bladed axe as though it’d saved his life. I guess that wasn’t far off from the truth. It made me wonder what Ched had named her.
I needed them to stay distracted while I came up with another solution.
“You could have gone with Miss Cleava,” I said, with a grin. Leo’s penchant for cleavage was well known. Leo looked at Choppy, considering.
Meredeath smacked my arm. “What about a guy’s name? Jack the Ripper has a nice ring to it.”
“Why, Jack?” Leo asked, confused. Meredeath was distracting everyone with descriptions of a rather gruesome part of her world’s history while I was free to cast about for another option. Her world really did sound scary.
My hammer wasn’t the right tool for the job. I concentrated, and the hammer shifted to its [Pick] form. It was pointy, but not great for slicing. I needed a pointy, edged weapon that could puncture, then rip through flesh.
I eyed Meredeath’s daggers and Tandy’s glowing scissors. Either might work, but I wasn’t sure I’d survive an attempt to swipe them. Looking for inspiration, I scanned the ground.
A pointy stick sat suspiciously a few feet away from me. The bark was rough, curling up as though it wanted to slice into an unsuspecting hand or foot. I triggered [Analyze]. The description of the stick popped into my vision:
[Cutwood - This branch is from a cutwood tree, known for its razor-sharp tendencies. This tree can cut a hole right through a person or just as easily cut them in half. Cutwood splinters can be deadly if they enter the bloodstream and take root.]
This was precisely what I needed. Something sharp and cutting.
"Meredeath, can you hold this?" I handed her [Guardian's Promise]. I'd have to think of a snappier name for it if I survived.
"Sure?" She took the hammer and promptly dropped it. Her hands kept slipping from the handle. The hammer’s soulbound nature repelled her.
I bent low and picked up the cutwood carefully, immediately regretting the decision as the thick base bit into my hand. Damn, these trees didn't mess around. I dug through my bag, finding a strip of cloth to wrap around the base for grip. It was already bloody. Leaving my pack on the ground, I took off towards the tidemaw.
My sprint quickly aborted as the mud sucked at my feet.
I slowly made my escape one heavy footstep at a time.
I imagined Richard's voice taunting me: You really thought that through.
“Shut up,” I muttered to my [Self Critic].
I had been banking on the race to my death being a quick, ill-thought-out decision.
Instead, I slogged forward, muck sluicing into my boots. Plenty of time to doubt. Plenty of time for everyone to figure out what I was attempting.
"Cole, where are you going?" Tandy called. I could hear her soggy footsteps behind me.
“It’s pretty obvious,” I said, glancing back. She was having a worse time than I was. Leo stood looking confused, and Meredeath looked pissed as she awkwardly held my hammer.
Blood dripped from my hand from my cutwood injury. Malformed trees reached for me, like sharks sensing a kill.
"Go back, Tandy. I'm going to take care of the tidemaw." She was going to get herself killed.
"With a stick?" Tandy's incredulity hurt. She thought I was going to get myself killed.
"Well, I could have used Miss Chopportunity, but yes," I said, taking two more squishy steps.
The trees leaned down, branches reaching for a juicy snack. I swung the cutwood overhead like an axe, and each questing branch danced away. Maybe the cutwood could do the job.
"You don't have to do this, you can't take on the tidemaw by yourself." Tandy's voice was distant. I looked back, surprised that she’d stopped. A cut across her face bled.
Leo took a few steps towards us, leaning away from a Velcroak. He was already stuck, his heavy frame sinking even further in the morass. Tandy stood halfway between us, hands on her knees, panting. Meredeath blew me a kiss, waving one pointed figure at me in salute.
This was my shot. Slow or not, none of them were going to catch me. I turned my eyes ahead.
Anxiety threatened to freeze me in place, and I could feel [Self Criticism] triggering. It was my turn to contribute, to show my value.
I looked ahead at the dark pool of water. My plan could work. It would work. I took another step, building my resolve.
It was my turn to be useful, even if I was [Dead Wrong].
The air was thicker, ripe with the heated exhale of the tidemaw. The humidity slithered into my lungs and stayed like the last gasp of winter flu. The trees leaked sap as if they were ready for harvest.
The pull of the beast was starting to draw at my feet. Everything, the mud, the trees, the ancient tombstones strewn across the landscape, pulled towards the dark heart of the swamp.
The mud was losing the battle, sliding into the maw. Soon, I'd be at the point of no return. My feet slowly took me near Richard's prone form. I grabbed him by the tail with my free hand and chucked him towards the team.
“Is that Richard?” I heard Leo yell. I blocked him out. I was on a mission to prove I wasn’t just dead weight on the team.
Hopefully, Richard would stick with them even if I wasn't around.
I tried to pull up, to slow my descent into the maw. But my feet couldn’t gain purchase. The tidemaw’s suction was too great. I fell back, trying to use my hands to gain traction in the mud. My efforts were fruitless. The ground gaveway underneath the water, sloping towards the beast.
Everything, the trees, the fallen logs, the rectangular stones in the bog, was falling inward. My eyes were drawn to the faded inscriptions in an unknown language. What had killed so many people?
A large sarcophagus sat stuck in the mud, right at the aperture of the tidemaw's mouth. I tried aiming my slide towards the stone box, using my cutwood stick as leverage.
The sarcophagus was open, the top plate missing, but the base was stubbornly wedged as though it protested giving its charge to the beast. I hit the edge and tumbled straight into the coffin, landing face-to-face with a papery corpse.
Her sunken eyes stared sightlessly at me. The woman lay with a pearl cord wrapped around her head, keeping shimmering blue hair from her leathery face. She must have been royalty, a princess deserving of a full tomb. She smelled of brine, and lavender, and dust. A crushed velvet dress covered her body even as it decayed.
It would be my luck to survive the tidemaw only to gain an eternal curse from a pissed off princess from a long forgotten country. I wasn’t afraid. Her face held peace, not horror.
No time to think of the impropriety of disturbing the grave. I sent a silent wish for forgiveness to the Everbear as I tried to change position to view the tidemaw’s vortex.
The mud and water rushed around us as the tidemaw began swallowing the swamp. It was as though the beast could smell mortals in its territory and was eager for souls. It wanted me. It wanted my friends. I could feel it in my bones.
Thankfully, I still clutched the cutwood. Blood ran freely from the slices in my hand. It was part of me, and by the slivers, I could feel worming their way into my palm. I was part of it.
The sarcophagus was tipped almost forty-five degrees, so I got a good view of the fate awaiting anyone who fell in. Three rows of serrated teeth sat full of debris. The center was a dark pool of water with chunks of trees and meat bobbing. Each inhale of the beast sent ripples through the swamp. It was hungry.
The tidemaw's mouth was almost thirty yards across. Its body was set deep in the ground. Teeth sat like breakers filtering out debris and mud. In the center, the pool sat dark and clear, as though all the muck had been filtered out.
I could jump past the teeth if I had a little more leverage. A stump struck hard against the sarcophagus, tilting it further towards the teeth.
I looked over at the mummy. Two gaping holes sat in an ancient face framed with tendrils of shimmering blue hair.
"I'm sorry," I told her, as I stepped over the mummified body, trying to angle myself for the jump.
This was going to be a risk.
My instincts shouted at me that this was suicide. My heart pounded in my chest, answering the fear. I thought of Tandy and Leo here, trying to take down the beast, and of Meredeath with two tiny daggers.
I'd sacrifice myself for my friends any day.
I went to leap, but five bony fingers wrapped around my forearm. In horror, I looked back. The mummy lay out, looking as dead as ever, but gripped my arm hard. The other hand held a silver ring with an aquamarine stone. It shimmered, beckoned.
Was this really happening? Was I robbing the dead? Or was she gifting it to me? It looked like a gift. Maybe I’d finally lost it under all the pressure.
I reached for the proffered gift. As my hand touched the ring, a spark shot through my arm. Jerking, my fingers spasmed, grabbing it without another thought. The silver ring slipped on my finger as the ground began to heave.
A gushing spout of water sent the mummy, sarcophagus, and me soaring through the air.
The bony hand broke free, as though it’d used its last bit of life to give me the gift. The woman’s papery face began disintegrating before my eyes.
I took a couple of deep breaths, ignoring the urge to cough out the suddenly dusty air.
As my body flew through the air, I got one last glimpse of my friends in the distance. Leo’s pink sweater stood out against the browns and greens of the swamp. He was cradling Richard like a baby. Meredeath and Tandy shaded their eyes as they watched me cartwheel into the tidemaw.
I hit the water with a splash, the ring on a finger, mummy dust in my lungs, and cutwood firmly grasped. The sarcophagus hit the water above me, which was exactly what I needed. I wedged my body under the stone as it sank. The rest of the mummy was lost in bubbles. I sent a silent thanks, as I used its final resting place to facilitate my plan.
The sarcophagus's weight helped me sink fast. The mouth of the monster was a whirlwind of debris and bubbles. Bits of monstrous trees bit, stuck, sapped me as everything sank.
It was hard to see anything, or even keep track of which way was up, except for the weight of the stone above my body.
It was getting harder to hold my breath, harder to hold on. I refused to inhale.
A log rammed into my gut, knocking the air out of me.
It must have been a gloomsap because the log stuck to me and dragged me down as I struggled to breathe. My ears popped, and my inhalation brought only water. I could see my health bar start to drop as I began to drown.
The log took any escape I had in mind out of my hands. As I kept sinking, my only thought was to hold the cutwood tight. I was only going to get one chance.
I don't know what I'd been dreaming, but Meredeath's panicked voice pumped adrenaline through my veins. I grabbed my hammer, triggering the [Molten] effect. The loft flared with light, blinding us all. Shit.
"What is it? I can't see anything." Leo's voice was loud, and I could see him clutching his axe. What I couldn't find were any monsters.
"It's a rat!"
Oh. Just a rat? What was the big deal? My muscles relaxed. Did they not have rats on Meredeath's world?
"It's got rabies. It's foaming at the mouth," her voice was frantic.
What was the big deal? Barns had critters, and rats weren't uncommon. Sure, it wasn't great that they'd gotten diseased. But no one died of rat bites.
"Found it," Leo called out, and, with a meaty thunk, the rat was finished.
As my vision slowly returned, Tandy was kneeling, looking at the bite on Meredeath's ankle. Two thin lines of blood dribbled from the wound.
"I don't see what the big deal is? It was probably just after the food in our packs." I'd learned a long time ago that it wasn't worth the hassle to hide a snack in my room. There were too many hungry mouths in the wild.
"It was foaming at the mouth. Diseased. It had rabies." Meredeath said, choking the words out. "I don't imagine you have rabies shots? A lab to test it?"
Remind me never to foam at the mouth.
I had no idea what rabies was, but I agreed with Richard. No foaming at the mouth.
"No," I said, the word carefully. "But if you've got a diseased state, we can get a [Cure Disease] potion for you. They don't cost much."
Meredeath looked up at me, eyes streaked with tears. Her hair was tangled, and she looked miserable.
"[Cure Disease] potion?" The word came out as snuffled.
I knelt next to her, handing her a handkerchief Leo'd dug out of his pack.
"Yeah, check your status. Do you need one? We always have a few on hand out here."
Meredeath got a distant look, as though checking her status. The three of us shared a look.
Tandy went over to inspect the rat.
"I don't think I'm diseased," Meredeath delivered the news we were all expecting.
"Can you die from a rat bite in your world?" I asked quietly. Her world sounded awful.
"Yeah, rats in general have been responsible for a lot of disease. A lot of death. How many children has your mom had?" Meredeath asked quietly.
"Six." Was this a trick question? She'd met all my siblings last night. Morning had begun to break over the farm, and the first notes of dawn could be heard out the window.
"No one died in childhood?" Meredeath's voice was shocked. Leo, Tandy, and I looked at each other. What kind of world did Meredeath come from?
After the shock of waking, getting ready to go happened quickly. I wanted to get out of the barn before my family finished breakfast. As we climbed down from the loft, a basket of food sat undisturbed on the stairs. A little note from Share was pinned to it.
Come back safe. The wedding is on the fall equinox.
I tucked the note into my bag as we divvied up the supplies. I would do anything to make the wedding.
It was time.
No one dared stand up to my mom and Flo by wishing us a farewell. I'd deal with that trauma when I came back for the equinox.
My first problem was going to be the swamp and the bone lady. I'd handle my family later.
Tall fence posts followed us to the edge of the property. Each one set by hand. I paused a moment, wishing my family well. My mom may have disowned me, but I was going to be back. I had a map to find the way, and a wedding to give me a reason.
It didn't take us long to backtrack along the two-track to get to the main road south. If followed, it'd take us all the way down to Dusridge.
I'd only been down there a couple of times for the regional fair.
"It's time to cut east," Tandy said. The mid-morning sun hit her auburn hair, highlighting the red in her braids.
The finger of dread in my gut spiked.
"Are you sure?" Leo asked, white faced.
We all pulled out our mental maps. Sure enough, we'd gone as south as needed. Any further, and he'd have to backtrack north to get to the bone lady's swamp. My dad's map didn't have any details, just a loose blob marked with the skull and crossbones. Everyone knew where the swamp was, even if no one went there.
We all started off the road. Bramble had taken over the understory of the forest. It was going to be a hard push with no trails.
"I'll go first," Leo stated, as though trying to affirm that he wanted to do this. None of us wanted this.
He swung his axe, slicing through the bramble in an arc. The elderberry and creeper parted from his blade, almost leaning away as it sang. Meredeath stood behind him, and I took the rear position with Richard watching our backs.
Meredeath and Tandy both held bare blades. I kept a hand on my hammer and scanned the brush with my eyes.
"Any words of advice, Richard?" I murmured to my companion.
Go without me?
For all his bluster, he was terrified of the bone lady. His little body scrunched closer to my neck. He quaked like an aspen in a breeze.
“I can if you want. Just leave you right here.” I gestured to one of the low-hanging branches covered in moss.
No. I go where you go.
A glob of anxiety-induced slime slithered down my back. I almost wish he’d agreed to stay.
The ground was damp, even this far West. The swamp, on the map, should have been at least a mile or two's hike. It pointed to changes in the landscape that didn't bode well for our quest.
The sun was high in the sky, which was perfect. We didn't need to be doing this at night.
An hour of brush clearing and careful steps through the growing mud got us to the true edge of the swamp.
The forest gave way to a waterlogged landscape. The trees were fewer and less healthy, and reeds dominated the landscape with pools of water lilies bobbing in the sun. It looked like a swamp, if I was being honest. It didn't look particularly haunted or deadly, as bugs buzzed us in the heat.
Leo smacked his bicep, squishing one of the innumerable mosquitoes.
"Alright, where to next?" Leo asked. The swamp was vast, extending east into a large valley between two ridges that descended from the mountains. It was a fair question, but I had no idea.
She lives at the apex of the valley.
"And how do you know that?" Tandy's questions were sharp. She was done with Richard pussyfooting around the quest. Richard sensed it too.
We knew each other.
"No shit, tell me something I don't already know." Tandy's tone sent Richard scrunching up further behind my neck.
How about I tell you later?
"I think now is a good time." Tandy was determined.
"I agree with Richard on this one. Let’s deal with this first," I said as lights started dancing in the marsh behind Tandy. She turned to see what I was looking at when the water by my feet began to move.
We'd found the tidemaw.
"Okay, don't touch any of the trees," I said, as I stopped myself from reaching out to a trunk for balance. "What other tips do we have on defeating this creature?"
I'd suggest running away.
The ground yanked at my feet, and a tree branch swept by my head, catapulting Richard into the swamp. All of us were thrown to the ground, as I watched an airborne Richard.
I take it baaaack!!! His mental shout echoed in our heads as he flew tail over antenna. Fight the monster!It's a giant water bladder with teeth!
The splut of his landing must have knocked him out as his mental voice went silent in my head.
Well shit.
If I could climb a tree and get a better look at the maw, I could [Analyze] it.
I triggered [Analyze] on one of the trees within reach.
[Velcroak tree - This vine-covered tree has fast-drying sap that traps insects and small animals. This tree is aiming higher for its prey.]
Nope, that one wouldn't work.
[Gloomsap - Cursed tree grown only at the base of a tombstone. This semi-sentient tree hungers for the world of the living. Anyone unfortunate enough to fall for its wiles will find themselves eternally entombed.]
"Guys, we definitely want to stay away from the trees,” I called out, just as Tandy pulled herself up on a small island with a velcroak.
I saw another tree, shorter, that was looking healthier. I triggered [Analyze].
[Mawthorn - Typically grows near tidemaws. This bark-skinned mimic masquerades as a tree. Its sap is a digestive lure that numbs and dulls the screams.]
It isn't Rhi Voss we have to worry about, it's the fucking trees. None of the trees in the swamp were friendly.
I looked back towards the forest we'd left.
[Sickened Cedar - This cedar has been subjected to a flood or a change in landscape. It is sickly and will succumb to death if environmental factors are not changed.]
It would work. I stood up, covered in mud, and slogged against the current trying to draw us deeper. Tandy and Leo had grabbed onto clumps of reeds, holding themselves in place. Meredeath stood with her feet apart, a dagger in each hand.
I moved, each step hard won as the swamp sucked at my boots. Finally, my feet came out of the mud, and I started climbing the gnarled bark. It twisted up, branches extending out like a ladder. It was almost as though it was built for a climb.
I scrambled, the sweet scent of cedar enveloping me, as though the horror of the swamp didn't lie a few feet below.
I climbed twenty, then thirty feet. The tree waved in the air under my weight. Wedging my feet in place, I hugged the trunk like it was my lifeline and peered out over the swamp.
The swamp spanned miles towards the Ursine Wall, with clumps of trees forming small islands, while reeds and lilies bobbed in the deeper water. What hadn’t been evident was the bone colored ruins of an ancient town strewn across the valley.
Not a town. I squinted hard, trying to decipher the pattern. Square sets of blocks sat staring at me. A graveyard? An ancient expansive graveyard? My mind broke at the scale of the place. How many died here?
The tidemaw was evident from my position. The mouth gaped open like the ground itself had grown teeth. A notably empty pool of water sat at the heart of the beast. Its body sank low into the ground as though it’d carved a giant sink hole as a home. I could see Richard, the speck of yellow trapped between a set of reeds.
Triggering [Analyze], I got the following:
[Corrupt Tidemaw - Normally at home in ocean-based marshes, this tidemaw is far from home. These creatures typically use and control local tides to draw larvae and other small biological life to their maw, filtering through the creatures like a whale. Corruption has led to a shift in the maw’s diet to larger wildlife, including humans. It's ravenous for food. The maw is ancient, and the ravenous stomach extends several stories deep, holding enough space and water to hold the local swamp in its thrall.]
I tried imagining the shape of the beast. Large, bloated, full of water. The tidemaw sits stationary, below the waterline. The beast uses skills to control water levels, currents, and tides to draw prey towards its maw.
It was nothing but a ballooned stomach, full of hunger. Ready to pop.
“Leo, I’m going to need to borrow your axe,” I called out to my friend as I climbed down the cedar.
I had a terrible idea. It was time to burst some expectations.
"So this is your childhood bedroom?" Meredeath asked, as we sat stretched out in the loft of the barn. The gambrel roof sat above us with several murals sketched out in grease and paint. "It's not what I would have imagined."
I blushed. Meredeath struck me as a refined city girl. She probably couldn't imagine growing up in a hayloft.
"Don't feel too bad for him. Share always complained that she got twice as many indoor chores because Cole wasn't in line of sight every day." Tandy stretched out on her back between Meredeath and me, her hands crisscrossed behind her head with elbows poking out.
Share had many reasons to complain about me over the years.
Can we look at your dad's map?
I didn't want to. As a kid, it was known that if any of us took the map outside, we'd be on latrine duty for months. Opening it up in the loft seemed like a profane sin in a barn smelling lightly of dung, on top of a rough wood floor covered in straw.
Unfortunately, Richard had used his newly discovered [Party Speak] ability, and so I couldn't just ignore the question.
"Yeah, I guess." I took the roll out of my bag. The leather fiber had become thin after many years of being rolled and unrolled. I untied the leather strap and unrolled the masterpiece for everyone.
Meredeath's gasp was gratifying. The map was filled with black ink outlines of cities, mountains, and roads. Details were highlighted in gold filigree, and many places were shaded in with light colors.
The base of the map, Dad always said, was done by an artist in Filidelfya. He'd added bits to it over the years, like the city of Woodsten, etched in a less practiced hand. I unrolled the last bit to show the local map that Dad had added. If he'd had another passion besides farming, it would have been his interest in cartography.
Meredeath ran her hand across the leather, just above the ink, as though she was afraid to touch it. She traced the line of the Ursine Wall south, the mountain range extending all the way to the southern sea labeled Yaris.
"Your world is so big," Meredeath whispered.
Tandy, you should use your [Map] skill and see if you can absorb it into our [Party Map].
"Can you actually do that?" I said, having completely forgotten about our mapping skill. Bringing up the interface, I could see we'd uncovered a clear path from Woodsten to Bear Ridge to my family home.
Richard's antennae were focused on Tandy. She sat with her eyes closed, a clear sign she was navigating menus.
"I think, yes. I've got it," she said with her hand over the map.
Our interface filled out majestically, including trade routes, rivers, cities, and roads. The new information was shaded in a dull grey. A pop-up informed me that the information was several decades old, and data may have changed in the last thirty years.
It was a giant leap forward for us. The map included almost all of our district, and it detailed the winding path my folks had taken when they immigrated from the west. However, it also incorporated the general attributes of the map as a whole.
"Does this mean we can just... look at people's maps to fill in the blanks?" Meredeath asked.
It seemed like a cheat code to me.
No.
“Just no?” Meredeath asked. She was getting as tired of Richard as I was.
Richard eyed her with his stalks, and Meredeath stared him down, her eyebrow raised in judgment.
The banana slug eventually shrunk, relenting, he gave us a bit more.
It’s enchanted. An [Adventurer’s Map].
Before our eyes, my dad's map updated with a title [Your Mom's Party Map]. I watched in stunned silence as it transformed to show the crater on Bear Ridge, and moved the dot labeled 'Woodsten' to the right a quarter of an inch.
"He gave us a bigger treasure than he knew," Tandy murmured.
Perhaps.
I traced a path from Woodsten to the Bear Ridge Crater, seeing but not believing.
You can touch it. It’s enchanted against dirt and water.
I did something I'd never dared, I let my finger drop and touch the old leather. It was smooth, silky almost, as I ran my hand across it.
"Do you see this?" Tandy asked, pointing at the localized section. Her finger touched a landscape labeled 'The Bone Lady Swamp.' "Well, this confirms what we'd already thought."
A skull and crossbones sat at the entrance, the universal sign for 'keep out.'
We all stared at it.
"My uncle once got drunk and told me a story about the swamp," Leo said. It was unusual for him to volunteer information from his family, so neither Tandy nor I interrupted him. "He and my dad had gone to check it out on a full moon. We've all heard the stories, right? But who's actually seen the bone lady?"
"I'm not sure why Uncle Ardie told me this story, but he never repeated it. He said the moonlight made the forest glow, but as they drew closer to the swamp’s border, everything grew darker. It'd been spring, but the trees had lost their leaves. Clouds crept over the moon, and they both began second-guessing their desire, as swamp water soaked their boots, to continue. Ardie took out a torch and lit it. The soft glow, comforting both, they decided to continue. That's when they saw the lights dancing above the swamp."
"The ghost lights?" I whispered.
Leo shrugged. "They didn't know. Uncle Ardie said that he wanted to turn around, but that my dad had his head stuffed with wool. Dad insisted on going forward, on catching a light. So he moved forward, while Ardie stood watching. The swamp got wetter, with great sucking steps trying to pull my dad's boots off his feet. Uncle Ardie picked a tree to stand by, high ground."
"The further Dad got away, the more Artie noticed the ground. It sloped towards the dancing lights, pulsing like it breathed. He tried calling out, but the words stuck in his throat. His feet were locked, and he couldn't move or yell. He tried to pull his hand away from the tree. It was covered in a black sap, glued to the tree."
"Growing more frantic, he pulled harder on his hand, the dark sap pulsed in time with the swamp, climbing higher to his wrist.”
“Artie twisted, getting leverage with his feet on a rock he pulled. But it only made it worse. Each tug forced the sap higher on his hand.”
“He yelled for my dad, but the fog was getting denser, muffling the sounds.”
Leo stopped his narration, leaning back against the barn wall. His face was white. I'd never heard this story from him.
Richard sat across from me, his head lying against the floor as though in a torpor.
"What happened?" Meredeath asked, sounding more curious than afraid. Maybe her world didn't have ghosts and bone ladies.
"He had the torch." My mind clicked into understanding. Ardie Patch had always existed on the fringe of the village. The nicest thing anyone'd ever been able to say about him was that he'd taken Leo on after his parents passed. Taking him on had been generous. Leo had a roof over his head and sometimes food, but for the most part, Ardie had ignored his nephew, leaving him to fend for himself.
No one would own up to why he was the town drunk, but I'd always assumed it had to do with the scars that covered the right side of his body. Long, gnarled ropes that ran down his arm and what was left of his hand.
"My dad ran back to him once he heard the screams. The lights followed him. Chasing him to the tree. Roots tripped his feet, trying to drag him back."
“Artie said my dad saved him. Dragged him out of the swamp screaming for mercy. Neither of them was the same.”
Tandy and I looked at each other. This is why our adventurous friend had never had a remote interest in going into the bone lady's domain. It was an unspoken rite of passage to dare the fringe of the swamp in Woodsten, but Leo'd always talked them out of it.
Leo looked at the rest of us, in the faint glow of my hammer.
"Artie said that Dad also had an experience. That the lights were ghosts that spoke to him of an early death." His voice trailed off.
That was not Rhi Voss. It sounds like you've got a tidemaw in your swamp.
"How do you know it's not the bone lady?" I asked, not willing to call the horror of our childhood by her first name.
Richard lifted his eyestalks for the first time since we sat down in the barn. He looked straight into my soul.
Because they'd be dead.
We were all silent at his proclamation. What was there to say? Leo's story was messed up, but Richard, the self-proclaimed immortal, deciding we were doomed, gave us something to think about.
"What's my alternative?" Meredeath asked, her voice angrily breaking the silence that'd settled on us all.
Richard's eyestalks swung to her, his brow downcast.
You don't. That's the stupidity of it. If you're going to survive your initiation into this world, you need a sponsor. The only one in reach is Rhi.
Meredeath voiced the thought I hadn’t dared say, "Then I should go, everyone else stay. I'm the only one who needs a [Sponsor], it doesn't make sense for you to all risk yourselves."
The platitude of 'sticking together' gummed in my throat before the likelihood of death. I searched for the words to reassure her, or back out of the deal.
"None of that," Leo said, his voice clear, the ghosts of his uncle's story leaving his face. "You saved us how many times in the Leviathan? I don't think I want to be an [Adventurer] without you protecting my back."
I found myself nodding, adding in, "Yeah, plus imagine how powerful you'll be once she does [Sponsor] you." They all nodded, buying my glib platitude. My stomach clenched, though, noting my insincerity. I was scared.
"I wonder why none of the rest of us needed a [Sponsor]," Tandy asked, thankfully changing the subject. It was a good question.
"Could it be because I'm from another world?"
It's not.
We all looked at Richard as he innocently began grooming himself. We hadn't shared notes on our classes, still held back by courtesy, but if [Your Mom's Party] was going to survive, we needed to trust each other. My heart still ached that I hadn't spoken up sooner in Meredeath's support, so I decided to make amends by doing something brave.
"My class is [Dead Wrong] and somehow seems to be related to Richard. I think if I needed a [Sponsor], it was probably him." As I said the words out loud, I knew they were right. Richard was my [Sponsor]. Another piece of the puzzle snapped into place.
"That's an odd class name," Tandy said thoughtfully. "I've got [Magic Weaver], which, as far as I can tell, has nothing to do with magic or weaving. But, since I was such a high-level [Weaver], I'm getting the impression that I might qualify as my own [Sponsor]."
It made sense if the purpose of a [Sponsor] was to somehow ground us in progression and knowledge. Tandy obviously knew how to progress in her class.
All our eyes swung to Leo.
"I'm just a [Fighter]," he said. He shrugged, "Nothing special, but it's a class." It was a class. Generic, but solid. We needed someone capable of dealing damage. My class was specialized, but I wasn’t sure it was helpful.
Maybe Leo didn’t need a [Sponsor] because his class was so basic?
Richard continued to groom himself. His only contribution was the sound of his sandpapery tongue as it was applied to his body. Eventually, I turned off the molten quality of my hammer. The barn was stuffy, but we'd gathered some hay to pad under our bedrolls. It was comfortable enough.
[Your Mom's Party] huddled in the corner, trying to formulate a plan while the 'dungeon monsters' ignored us.
"Why did you have to tell them?" I whined.
"Sorry, man, but it just slipped out. He was eying my axe, and well, you were going to have to tell them sooner or later." Leo was right, the idiot.
One of the 'bosses' clanked a skillet loudly against the stove. My mom and Flo had long ago mastered the art of cooking angry. I think it was a skill that moms automatically acquired when they had their first child. My dad cooked too, but he almost always cooked angrily since he always seemed to mess something up. They never let him cook on Sundays, not for family dinner.
"I don't see what the big deal is," Meredeath said. "It's not like you were sucked away to another world or something."
"You're right, but it's my mom. Her parents were killed in a dungeon breakout in one of the Western cities. She was raised by her older brother, whose passion was to become an [Adventurer] to avenge her parents. You can guess what happened to him." It was a sad story, one we'd been told time and time again as kids. I think she'd picked dad because he wasn't interested in anything but farming. Of course, this meant she had a kid named Moldboard, so there were trade-offs.
Well, that and his map.
I looked over at Share, but she wouldn't meet my eyes. That hurt. She was my first friend and closest family member. I absently pet Richard, who was snoring next to me in a food coma.
"Cole's in trooooouuuubbbbllee! Trouble, grouble, trouble!" Saphira wasn't old enough to know why, but she was enjoying singing about my toils. As pots clanked much louder than needed in the kitchen, Saphira pranced around, inventing words that rhymed with trouble.
"Do you think we could look at your dad's map after dinner? I haven't been able to get a good understanding of the land," her voice dropped, "since I was dumped here."
"Yeah, I'll see what I can do." I knew I didn't sound hopeful, but I'd already been on the outs with my family. And now this.
"It can't be that bad?" Meredeath said, "Your mom seems nice. She cares about you way more than my mom cared about me and my sister."
Tandy's eyebrows went up, and I stored that bit of information away for later. It was the first time Meredeath had mentioned anything about her home without being prodded.
"Yeah, my mom and Flo are two peas in a pod. If they're not at the wheel, they're not happy. And so far, I'm the only one that's truly left the preordained path of farming and family." I'd never wanted to be a farmer. Not that I particularly wanted to be a [Smith] or [Chef] or [Adventurer] for that matter. I just didn't want to be here. I wanted to be on my own, have my own space, my own thoughts, be able to tinker in my workshop without someone poking me.
Meredeath looked pointedly at Coulter and Plow, "I think you're just paving the way for the future."
"That's exactly what they're afraid of," I said quietly.
Dinner was served family style. Giant bowls piled with steaming food. I missed their cooking.
I grabbed a roll and skipped the chicken. I never liked our chickens alive or roasted. Plus, they were making sure we got served first as guests, and there wasn't enough meat to go around. Leo and Tandy followed suit, but Meredeath had grabbed a chunk of the breast meat, which was fine.
Stuffing and potatoes, greens and a rich gravy piled on my plate. Flo had even used her [Cool] skill to cool down a pitcher of blueberry and mint juice. It tasted like home, even though the table conversation was minimal.
"The stuffing is delicious," Leo said, mouth too full to talk. His table manners were atrocious.
"Thank you, Leo," Flo replied, polite but curt.
It was up to me to make this right. It was just like my family to make me do all the work.
"Mom, I'm sorry, okay. I didn't intend to become an [Adventurer]." The words came out choppy, as though each one forced through the knot in my throat.
"I didn't know they'd started conscripting. Has the [Adventurer's] Guild gotten that desperate? Is this just like you ‘happened’ to become a [Smith] during harvest?" Flo's 'innocent' question floated over our meal like a fly.
My face burned in shame. That’d been different. I’d been so young, and needed to escape the farm.
Maybe it wasn’t so different.
Feeling defeated, I said, "No, they're not conscripting. I signed up by accident."
"By accident? I didn't know one could just stumble into a pen and sign a contract with the guild. I'll be careful next time I'm in town. I don't want that to happen to me." For the love of the Everbear, I wish my sister would just shut up.
"We got drunk on my birthday," Leo explained, beating me to it. Tandy elbowed him. Leo’s cluelessness knew no bounds.
"That explains so much," Meredeath whispered, not helping.
Flo rolled her eyes, as though Leo had confirmed every expectation she’d contrived over the years.
There wasn't anything I could say. I didn't have a ‘good’ excuse.
There was nothing I could say that would make this better for her. I tried anyway.
"I passed the [Trial Dungeon]. We're full [Adventurers], so you don't have to worry about the trial." Her face raised as I spoke. For a second, I had a brief spark of hope. Maybe this would be alright after all.
Richard burbled. I looked down at him as he adjusted and flopped his tail off the bench.
"Randat had passed his test too." My mom's voice was low, and her words tight, snuffing out the spark. Even Galen had stopped making noises as she talked, "He'd survived several quests, was so proud of his polished armor, his overpowered skills,” her voice hissed as she finished the sentence, “and his giant enchanted sword. He'd trained for a decade before becoming an [Adventurer].”
She looked at me, steel eyes continuing, “He was cut down by one of those monsters. None of it saved him. We buried the parts of him left.”
Her words hung in the room. I couldn’t meet her gaze.
They’d buried parts. I couldn’t help but think that’s what would have happened if the corrupt guardian or the ribbons of hunger or the root canals had gotten their way.
“We've put up with a lot from you, Cole, including moving to the city and chasing job after job. Now an [Adventurer]? You’re going to die. Did you ever think of Mom? Of us?" Floria always finished an argument.
You’re going to die, her words echoed in my head. Floria never holds back.
There were many excuses I could have made. But I'd sat in that ashen crater after we'd beaten the corrupt guardian and I'd chosen to move forward as an [Adventurer]. Suppressed anger boiled up in me; my choice wasn't wrong. Being an [Adventurer] was just as good as being a [Farmer]. Not better, but equal. And it was better for me.
"Mom, I love you." All eyes were fixed on me, and I added, "I love all of you." I looked at Share, whose eyes were glistening. "But I've got to live my own life."
"You've made that very apparent." Mom’s words bit me deeper than any sword.
She returned to her dinner; the discussion was over. I sat back down, hot tears running down my face. Meredeath put an arm around my back, drawing me close.
"It'll be okay," she whispered, handing me her napkin. I just nodded, numb. I wanted to crawl under the table and vanish. But I couldn’t. If I left now, that would be the end of it.
Eventually, the kids started talking, their capability to be silent severely hampered by their age. Conversations wrapped around us about the mundane things, weather, which chicken we were eating, and the state of the cattle pond. No one dared talk to us, and that was okay. I wasn't in the mood.
Meredeath whispered a little too loudly to Tandy, “I see where his [Self Criticism] skill comes from.”
“Yeah, it’s a good thing Cole has us.” Tandy reached across the table and squeezed my hand.
“I’m really grateful for all of you.” I poked Leo, including him in the statement. He brought his eyes up for the first time, glad his mistakes weren’t unforgivable. The problem wasn’t his honesty; it was the rigidity of my family.
As the table was cleared, Share came to take our plates.
"You know I love you, Cole. I've always admired your ability to stand up to the two of them," she murmured low so only I could hear. "I never did have that strength." She took his plate and Meredeath's damp napkin, squeezing my hand. I wondered if she really wanted to marry Fennel after all.
With the table clear, I stood up. Now that propriety was satisfied, it was time to go. I grabbed Richard, who sluggishly moved to my shoulder.
Yawning, he looked around.
Dinner’s over? Richard whined, squirming on my shoulder. The glutton’s disappointment was so over-the-top it tugged a smile out of me.
Thank the Everbear for Richard. He saved me from more tears as we walked out.
I didn't want to stay in the house, and they didn't have the room for us anyway. I walked, not looking at anyone's faces. The raw wound was too fresh for anyone's sympathy.
Outside was better. The night had arrived while we'd been eating, and fireflies danced in the thicket.
"Hold up, son." A gruff voice stopped us. My dad stepped outside, closing the door behind him. "What's done is done. It wasn't my choice for you, but you've got to live your own life. Come back next year," his voice choked a bit as we both had the same thought: if you're still alive. "Come back, and see us. Things will be different."
I nodded, a fresh wave of tears blurring my vision.
"Take this," he said, handing me an old leather map that had carried him east, all the way to Woodsten. "It served me well. I hope it's as good to you as it was to me. Sleep in the barn tonight. I'll keep the kids inside."
He stood before me, his dark hair sprinkled with salt and pepper. His face was leathery from a lifetime in the sun and dirt.
"Thanks, Dad," I managed to say.
He nodded, then held out an old, callused hand. I blinked, then shook it firmly.
"Good luck, son. Try not to die."
I like your dad. That's good advice. You told him we were taking on the bone lady tomorrow?
My family homestead had been one of the first successful farms in the early settlement days of Woodsten. My surname, Thornfield, had been earned. My parents had scratched out an existence from the dust and weeds. They'd lived in a sod house with my eldest sister, Floria, for the first couple of years.
Being the third eldest, I'd come along a few years later. By then, we had an oversized shed built from seasoned logs harvested during the first couple of years, when the land was being cleared. I didn't remember it, and unlike Floria, I didn't try to claim I did.
She'd been a baby. No one’s memory was that long.
I had six siblings and was an uncle twice over. I knew a bit about babies.
There wasn't a chance in hell she remembered the old sod house or the hardship. That trophy firmly belonged to our parents.
We walked up the dusty two-track. The fence posts sat perfectly vertical, separating the pasture from the road. Wild carrot gave their lacy flowers right next to the tall stalks of yellow flowers from the woolly ear plants. Bees buzzed happily.
I closed my eyes and smelled the warm dust and the stillness of the country. I could almost forget why I never came back.
"It's just one night, it'll be okay," Tandy repeated the words I'd been telling myself the whole way here.
I nodded, forcing a smile even as my face tightened. Tandy and Leo had always been my family.
"Don't forget to breathe," she whispered, giving a last bit of advice before we walked up the driveway to the house.
Unclenching my jaw, I took one steady breath.
"Is that COLE?!" Hitch, my youngest brother yelled. He was all of eight, and by far the loudest of my family, which is saying something. Hitch ran across the field with a piece of straw hanging out of his mouth. "It's Cole! Mama, Pop, Flo! Cole's here for Sunday Dinner, and he's got friends!"
Meredeath glanced at me, whispering, "Is it that surprising you have friends?"
I shrugged. I hadn't ever brought anyone but Tandy and Leo home. And even then, it’d been a few years.
The old barn stood, red paint faded. It may have developed a small lean, but it still looked solid. Sheep were lined up for their dinner, which was what Hitch had been doing until we walked up. Floria was going to be mad.
The front door squeaked open. Floria stood squinting into the sun. She was bigger than I remembered. A gust of air pushed at her sundress, and I realized she wasn't bigger, she was pregnant. I felt guilty because I had no idea she was expecting another. I guess it had been a while.
"Hey, Floria. Hope you don't mind a couple of extra mouths to feed tonight,” I said, staring four inches to her left. It was always better not to look my sister in the eyes.
"Oh, for the love of wheat, you know you're the only one that uses my full name, Cole Moldboard Thornfield." She sounded worn out.
"I'll stop using your full name when you stop using mine," I said, already tired of her.
I hadn't even used her full name, Floria Beam Hastings. I knew she preferred Flo, but I had to needle her when I had the chance. I was her brother after all. Plus, I was the only Thornfield not living on the farm, so I was the only one relatively safe from her retribution.
"Moldboard?" I heard Meredeath's hushed question to Tandy. Ears burning, I let out a resigned sigh. This is precisely what I had feared.
"I'll tell you later," Tandy whispered to Meredeath, grinning.
It wasn't my fault that Dad was such a nerd. Who names their kids after parts of a plow? Who chooses the moldboard as one of those parts?
I took one last breath, then walked through the front door.
The house was simple, consisting of a large room that served as a kitchen, dining area, and entertainment space. There were two bedrooms, one for Mom and Dad and the other for Floria and her husband, Jareth. Then the loft with all the kids. I’d moved into the barn for a while, until I’d saved up enough to get my own place.
"It's unnnnnnnncle Cooolllleeee!" sang Saphira, her voice horribly off-key. She bounced around me, her dark hair bobbing up and down.
"You're still singing, I see." I smiled, picking up my favorite niece. She wore a pale green kitchen apron that stood out against her dark skin. The apron told me she’d been on kitchen duty before my interruption. I twirled her around as she squealed in delight. Floria frowned at us both, which made it even more fun.
I tried to set Saphira down, but her little brown arms clutched me in a hug.
She got right up to my ear and whispered in a serious voice, "Am I still your favorite niece?"
I squeezed her little body, she smelled of butterbalm and blueberries, "Of course, but let’s keep that between us." Then I tickled her. She wailed with laughter and wriggled until I had to put her down before I dropped her.
"Is that a slug on your shoulder?" Share was next. She’d been my closest sibling when we’d been growing up. She was supposed to join me in the city when she came of age, but that dream never manifested.
"It is," I smiled as she made the same face she would when we were little and I’d bring her a frog or a beetle.
"Leave it to my big brother to visit for the first time in months with a slug." She wrapped her arms around me, giving a tight hug. "It has been too long, Cole."
I squeezed back.
I like her. She smells like strawberries.
"So, Share, this is Richard. Richard, Share." I lifted Richard from my shoulders and held him out like one of my childhood prizes. She reached out, and a glint caught my eye, "Is that a RING?!"
Share turned tomato red. I dumped Richard on the table and grabbed her hand. A thin promise ring sat on it, two hands clasping.
"It is," she said shyly.
"Well, congratulations! Who's the lucky person?" Internally, I crossed my fingers. She and Fennel down the street had always seemed like they could be a pair. They'd just both been so damn shy that no amount of matchmaking shenanigans had worked.
"Fennel and I have been dating," she said it with the sweet voice reserved for those in love.
"That's fantastic!" I lifted her and whirled her around like she was Saphira.
The greetings continued. Tandy and Leo took Meredeath to a quieter corner, as she looked overwhelmed. My family was a lot.
I was dog-piled by everyone else. Floria, Flo, stood frowning at the stove. I'd never found it hard to meld with everyone, except for her.
Lira, Hitch, and Landslide were out doing the evening chores with my dad. And Mom was collecting eggs with Flo's husband, Jareth.
Coulter was talking to Leo about his axe, and before I knew it, Galen, the 3-year-old, was plopped in my care as Share and I sat down to talk.
Saphira skipped around us. To Flo’s irritation, no amount of cajoling could return Saphira to peeling carrots.
Richard sat in the middle of the table. As a bonus, I’m sure it irritated Flo. He was happy, though, as Share fed him potato peels. Galen sat on the bench next to me, as a kid who loved to collect shiny things, Richard was mesmerizing. His slime shimmered in the firelight, but he was also a 'worm.' And three-year-olds loved worms.
"So, you're back? Or passing through?" Share asked as her hands worked on the potato in front of her.
"Just passing through," I glanced at my friends, my eyes resting on Meredeath as she took in the chaos.
Share followed my gaze and smiled.
"So you knew about Fennel? You didn't act surprised." Her hands deftly finished scraping a potato, then used the tip of her knife to dig out the eyes.
"I didn't know, I'd just hoped," I said, and meant it. Fennel was shy, but dependable. He was a farrier, more skilled with horses than with people. A perfect match.
Saphira picked up on this and started singing, "Fenneeel and Shhharrreee siiittting on a feeennceee." She kept the song going until I shooed her back to work.
"And you, brother mine? You've got a new addition to your group." Share asked the question with such a mischievous grin that I knew she'd been aiming at that information all along.
"I'll introduce Meredeath when Mom gets here." Mom was going to make a fuss. She always did.
"Yes," Share leaned in, "but are you a thing? I can tell you like her," she whispered conspiratorially.
Did I like Meredeath that way? Yes, but… was it more than infatuation? Meredeath was different, and impressive, and hot, and... I stopped myself.
"We're not a thing, it's complicated. We are very different. It’s almost like we’re from different worlds." I never could lie to Share. My sister could always see right through me.
"I see, well, things do have a way of working out." Share fingered her ring meaningfully.
I smiled, shaking my head. Share was getting married! I watched as Galen got brave and poked Richard. He giggled in delight as Richard gooed his hand.
"Flo's pregnant again, and you're getting married! What other news have I missed?"
Share handed me a potato and a spare knife, saying, "I'll catch you up, but you're going to have to work for it."
We sat, peeling and chopping as I got the latest gossip. Mom's health was still rough, and Plow had finally admitted to Share that she liked girls. Finally.
Hitch was as spoiled as ever. Share was trying to get Saphira voice lessons because the girl wouldn't stop singing. Everything was as it should be.
The egg collection crew and the chore crew came inside at the same time. Which started a whole other round of, "It's Cole!"
I glanced at Meredeath and couldn't decipher her expression. She just sat in the corner, watching us all.
That was until Plow noticed her, "Who are you?" It amused me to no end that my little sister and I had the same taste in women.
The crowd grew silent, all eyes on Meredeath.
"This is Meredeath, everyone! She's from a city out west called Kansas. She's new in town-"
My dad interjected, "Kansas? I've never heard of Kan-sas. Let me get the map!"
Oh shit, what do we do?
I looked at Tandy for help, and she spoke up, "Yeah, Meredeath's an [Adventurer]."
Coulter gasped. He'd always had a not-so-secret desire to be an [Adventurer]. My dad was like a dog with a bone; he'd already disappeared into his bedroom to get his prized possession, an old leather map.
My mom was the warmest person, but she hated the thought of anyone being an [Adventurer], "That's an odd profession for..." her voice trailed off as she tried to think of a polite way to describe Meredeath's wardrobe, "…someone who's from Kansas."
Meredeath did something I didn’t expect from her. She belly laughed. It was loud and outrageous and she slapped the table with tears of laughter running down her face. My mom was taken aback, becoming insulted as she thought she was the butt of a joke.
"Oh, Mrs Thornfield, I can't tell you how accurate you are! An [Adventurer] from Kansas is the least likely thing in the universe."
Mollified, my mom smiled, wrapping her arms around me in a hug. The conversation moved on.
"We've missed you, Cole," Mom said, releasing me from the hug. "Also, Meredeath's a strange one. Not like you to bring new folks around."
I looked at her, new wrinkles around her face, her hair a solid iron grey neatly braided but without the healthy sheen it’d always had. I hugged her again.
"I know. It's been too long. I've got more things to say, but later." I had Galen clinging to a leg, and Saphira had started singing again.
Dad appeared with his map. "First, can you help me with Dad? Meredeath's an orphan," it wasn't really a lie, and I knew my mom would respond, "and she doesn't like talking about her home."
This had the exact effect I'd hoped. My mom's face melted in sympathy, and she grabbed my dad's hand before he rolled out the map.
"Honey, let's do that later. Dinner's ready, and we don't want to get it dirty."
My dad grumbled and took his prize back into their bedroom.
"Cole's a what?!" Plow shouted. The family near my friends stared at me as though I'd grown a third eye. Leo looked guilty as Tandy punched him in the arm.
Whispers circulated as I tried to think of what to say.
My mom and dad came back from their room, finding their family silently staring at me. Flo was by their side in an instant, catching my mom up.
“Cole, is it true?” My Mom’s wavering voice cut to the bone. Expectations in our family were always clear, and being an [Adventurer] wasn’t part of it. Hell, being “Cole” wasn’t acceptable either.
"Guess my secret is out. Yep, it's true. I'm an [Adventurer]. So are Tandy, Leo, and our party member Meredeath." The words stuck like glue in my mouth as my mom's expression noticeably darkened.
She was disappointed.
I never got used to disappointing my mom. Or my dad. The hurt burned in my chest.
You forgot someone.
"Oh, and one more." I pointed to Richard sitting, belly sticking out, full of potato peels. His exaggerated pose saved me. Smiling at my slug in the middle of the dining table, I continued, "And that's Richard, he's my Companion."
"That's not a Dire Wolf!" Hitch blurted.
What is it with you and Dire Wolves?
An awkward silence settled on everyone as they looked at Richard.
"No," I said to Hitch, "but he's got decorative fangs, so he's close."
Appropriately, they all stared at me like I was insane while Richard chuckled in my head.
Richard had a long string of very bad days. Today wasn't one of them.
"And what does my little banana slug think?" Rhi Voss asked in a cutesy voice as though Richard was nothing more than a stuffed animal.
"Mrhble," he moved his lips at an approximation of speech. They'd established over the course of many years that she did not like being ignored. He refused to admit that he was anything more than a slightly oversized fanged banana slug.
She grinned at him, as though he'd complimented her choice of bones.
Rhi Voss, the bone lady, was an enigma to most mortals. Unfortunately, as far as Richard could tell, he wasn't mortal. He'd lived a timescale impossibly long for a fanged banana slug. For a mere human, it was almost comprehensible. The years march onward. It was no surprise that Rhi had lost her humanity at some point, a few hundred years ago.
Richard still regretted being the one tasked with finding out.
The bones framing his cage were smooth, honed by slime and inconsequential teeth.
Rhi stood in a flowing green dress reminiscent of the ballgowns she'd worn to celebrate their supposed victory over the Merkle queen. He still remembered her youthful smile as she twirled, watching the dress billow out like a child on festival day.
Technically, she was the same being. Some hair had fallen out, and her gum line receded as her eyes shrank into their sockets, but the mind behind her skeletal visage was his old friend. The years had changed them both.
"Ah, Richard. I wish you'd talk to me. Don't you miss our old [Party]? My sister, Leal, Dras, and Nissel?" She looked at him, her eyes focusing for once. "I know why they sent you, you know?" She waved a hand, raising a battalion of bone figures. "They thought old Rhi wouldn't touch you, not you, my old friend. My old, boneless, friend."
Richard blinked, his antennae extended as though he were recognizing her figure waving at him.
She stared a while, then moved on to one of the fifty other cages.
The beauty of madness was that she couldn't keep track of which fanged banana slugs turned over, versus the one who sat eternal. Richard wasn't about to inform her, as dull as the years had been. He knew she still sought vengeance.
It was his fault that her sister no longer stood with the living.
He undulated across his cage to munch on a wilted leaf of lettuce. He'd grown accustomed to less-than-fresh food. Wilt had a way of adding a layer of bitterness to the flavor profile. It felt fitting.
Half the time, she'd forgotten to feed them at all. He was a third of his expected size.
The skeleton army danced with Rhi as though she were a princess of the court, each twirling in circles around her in precise footwork that would have been the envy of any royal court, no matter that the steps were of another age.
Richard munched, one eye on her, when a portal opened up below his foot. Richard had one eye on Rhi as he dropped through the floor of his cage.
"I kneeeewww it!" Her shout rang out, just as a rush of green energy hit his cage, collapsing it instantaneously.
Richard dropped into the darkness until he landed with a wet plop.
"Whose there?" The platform Richard had landed on turned right, then left. "Come out, or I'll..." The man trailed off, presumably because he didn't know how he'd finish the sentence.
The man was bald and hopefully old and drunk, as not many individuals could gain a yellow toupee without noticing unless they were stroking out. The man burped, and Richard peered down, getting a good whiff of sour ale.
"Leo better come home, rent's due," the man muttered, turning to go back into the shack he called home. The screech of a predator broke the night air. Mice shook, waiting for fate to cast its shadow.
Richard found himself picked up by a rather large owl. Its claws were huge, plucking him off the old man's head like a kid with a candy stick. The bird wheeled over some tired [Outpost] full of rough buildings and dirt roads.
Richard was not going to stand by and be carried off. He was finally free!
He reared back, twisting his body, using his [Slime] skill to increase the slippage. Twisting, he angled his mouth right on the joint of the claw, squeezing him tightly and bit down with his two fangs.
The owl twisted in pain, claw spasming just enough for its prey to fall right through its talons. The bird craned its neck, watching the tasty slug fall into the domain of the bogquacker. The owl wheeled off into the night, looking for easier prey.
For the first time in a century, Richard had a stroke of luck. His trajectory sent him spinning right under an awning, into a barrel of mixed greens. They were wilted, and he had to share with a few squirmy worms, but the produce was several grades better than his usual fare.
The oversized slug began to chow down, hunger making him completely oblivious to his circumstance.
Hot pepper, too.
What a feast.
Chomp - Chomp - Chomp.
The night flew as he ate. He'd done his duty, warned Rhi of the breaches, and the consequences of the impending [System Failure]. It was time to ride out the apocalypse with a full belly. Richard yawned.
I'll rise up tomorrow.
Sleep took the oversized banana slug with a distended belly. Flies buzzed overhead, as the cackle of an old witch floated in the air.
"Happy berth-day, Leo! Whar's Tandy?" Cole's voice rattled around Leo's head like a fly in a compost bin.
Where was Tandy? This was his twenty-fifth birthday, and even with her schedule and business, she should be here.
"Oh, thar she is!" Cole said as he fell off the bed. Tandy waved noncommittally from the corner of the room.
Tandy waved at them from the floor. She sat, head between her knees, as though she were sick.
"I know what would cure this!" Leo looked down at his curled-up friend. She'd been struggling, absent from the group, working a lot. It was nice that she was here, but...
Leo stumbled over to Tandy, handing her one of his uncle Artie's jugs of grog. Alcohol sloshed alarmingly in the brown gallon glass jug as he held it out. Part of his mind knew it was a bad idea, drinking more. But also, how drunk could they be? Artie's booze was always a bit watered down, which is why he'd grabbed two gallons.
The old man owed it to Leo. He'd done nothing but work for him. Artie had him doing every odd job in the village to earn a little coin to make up for the fact that he'd been saddled with Marv's kid. A brat with no class. No skills.
"I don't know what your uncle put in this," Cole waved his own jug around precariously. "But I'm feeling good." For once. Cole gave Leo a sloppy smile.
Which made the tear-streaked face of Tandy that much more out of place.
"What's going on? Do you need some water? I've got some bread around here." Leo wasn't lying. There was bread somewhere. He shuffled to the dresser and saw the chunk of sourdough resting alongside his dad's knife and a few loose coins. Picking it up, he frowned, tapping the hardened bread against the dresser. "I forgot, I ate the bread yesterday. We could go out?"
The world spun in a haze. What was he doing?
Oh, right.
Leo's knees cracked as he knelt down. "What's wrong, Tandy?"
Cole had sat on the bed, seemingly focused on Tandy's response. Although the man was swatting at an invisible fly, so it was hard to tell.
She took the proffered jug and took a swig.
"That is gross. How are you two drinking it? I think my tongue is going numb."
Was his tongue numb? Leo looked at Cole, who shrugged and, with raised eyebrows, took another swig.
It didn't taste good, he'd give her that. The point of drinking out of a jug was not to taste the liquid.
Leo looked at Tandy and realized she'd been talking the whole time.
"... and that's why. I just can't do it anymore," Tandy finished, teary eyes looking up at him. Leo's heart melted, there was nothing he wouldn't do for Tandy. It wasn't a girlfriend thing; he'd gotten over his youthful crush. She was his little sister. Well, technically, she was older, but she was shorter.
"Well, what are we going to do then?" Leo said with the conviction of a man half a jug into his birthday. Tandy looked at him as if he were crazy or dumb; he was used to both. At the end of the day, the decision was really very simple. He'd move mountains for Tandy, or Cole for that matter. They were his family.
"Really? You'll sign up with me?" Tandy said the words hopefully, as though she didn't deserve such a decision.
"Of corsf," Cole said, beating Leo to the words. The man was really drunk.
"Of course, we’ll sign up with you. It's always been the three of us. This is no different." Leo still wasn't sure what he was agreeing to, but it had to be better than chopping wood every day or running errands for his uncle Artie.
"We can sign the contract tomorrow," Tandy said, her voice riddled with doubt.
"Right now! There's no time like the... uh... There's no time like now!" Leo pulled Tandy off her feet. She stood looking at him, squinting. Cole was still sitting on the bed, nodding.
"If you say so, I guess." Her voice was already lifting with hope. Leo's heart melted. "Let's go down to the recruiter's office and sign the paperwork. Are you ready to be an [Adventurer]?"
Leo's heart dropped as he looked at Tandy's blossoming smile. Fuck, what had he signed them up for? They weren't going to survive being adventurers. A cook? A lumberjack? A weaver? Tandy was typically the sensible one.
"Let's go!" Cole stood, tottering forward. "I want to go on an adventure!"
Leo looked at his friends. Tandy's tears were drying as she helped Cole stay on his feet. A smile played at the corners of her mouth, as though she'd gotten an unexpected gift. Cole wore the goofy grin of a drunk, a marked improvement over the downcast kitchen drudge persona he had after his smith apprenticeship fell through.
"I'll lead the way," Leo surprised himself by saying. Even more surprising, he, too, was smiling.
"That... them... Artie's sh-uch a fo-ole," the woman said as she took another long draft from a brown glass jug. She stumbled as she walked behind the rows of fancy houses with their fancy windows lit by beeswax candles. She snorted, to whom nobody knows. There was something amusing about people shut in their boxes, staying safe by a wick that could as quickly harm as help.
Harm and help, like medicine for the soul.
Artie needed some medicine. He was a furball stuck to the kettle end of a cat. It was time to shave.
Hettie twirled, a bit unsteadily, her jug arcing wide as she grinned.
It was time for a bit of revenge.
She skipped home in the darkness, ducking through the trees to her cottage in the woods. Her cottage was dark; the gaps in the boards had been stuffed with moss to keep the evening drafts out. Her eyes had adjusted to the night, even if her feet were still a bit iffy.
Her door was unlocked. Everyone knew better than to steal from Hettie. She was the wic... wicked witch of Woodsten. Or was she the last light? No, the last hope? Bah. It didn't matter. She was Hettie the Hedge Witch with a grudge.
Artie Patch thought he could dump her.
She ducked into her home. Yarrow hung in dangling clumps drying next to dill and rosemary. Her house consisted of three rooms, all of which were used to dry and store her precious herbs. She ignored her small bedroom full of lavender and sage. Instead, she went to the other room. The one reserved for far rarer and dangerous fare.
Moonflower and nightshade hung. Hettie held a rag over her nose and mouth as she threaded through the herbs, grabbing a couple of dark, dark-stained glasses. She didn't label these jars in case someone did come peeking, villagers being what they were.
The jar in her left hand sloshed, a bit of pickled brain for the spell. The jar in her right hand held the soft white dust of vengeance served. It was a dark moon, perfect for a summoning circle.
What her village didn't know. Never suspected. Was that she, Hettie Grey, wasn't just a simple hedge witch. She was a [Hedge Witch]. She'd passed into the [Adventurer's] ranks so long ago that no one remembered the fiery-haired sprite. Now her iron braids and milky eye warned most off from tipping her skirt.
Which brought her to Artie.
He was a frequent customer, the long ropey scars flaring on the cusp of midnight reminding him of childhood folly. She prepared balms, part beeswax, part yarrow, part plantain, a drip drop of lavender, the essence of calendula, and a bit of comfort. Mixed, mashed, and soaked for a full moon.
“Only wanted a discount,” she muttered, frowning at the spit and adjusting the angle at which her pot hung. “The barmaid thought his scars told a story. Fftttpp. I’ll show you the face of a boiled turnip.”
Hettie kicked a pinecone into the underbrush. Wait, had she needed that for the magic? Eh, it’d work well enough.
She danced out into the moonlight with her black pot dangling on a spit. On a stump, she put her two jars and the jug that'd been looped around her thumb. If one was not accustomed to witches, her dancing around might have seemed joyous, almost lighthearted.
The shadows deepened as she stacked her tinder, setting the sticks with intention and careful placement. Two sticks crossed for the scratch he wanted to itch. Sixteen bits of straw to inflame a heart. A clump of moss drawn from an old oak tree for the time wasted. She hummed as she collected her bits.
She muttered a skill belonging to most of the herbalists and witches in the hills to cleanse the water collected in her pot, "[Purify]." The water burbled, as bits of leaf debris and insect larvae were ejected from the pot.
Sticks and tinder placed, she examined her work through a bleary eye. It looked good enough for a fool like Artie Patch.
"Boil and brindle, pine and porridge make my fire hot like Hester's tits!" Hettie laughed as she whispered [Fiery Spark], and her tinder caught. She'd used the fake incantation for years, as though these scions of a forgotten world knew of Hester, much less her oath-breaking draw.
The pot dangled over the fire, its black vestige sucking in the heat and light.
It was time for a bit of magic stolen from another world.
She pulled at her pockets, drawing out the prerequisite bits. A clip of hair, a bit of crust, the dried leg of a frog, and she used her fork to push a chunk of pickled brain into the water. She watched as the brain sank.
Taking another swig, Hettie did what all aspiring and attained witches do: she waited.
A watched pot never boils was an adage she proved true. As her slumped form woke with a start, the hiss and pop of an overboiling pot was her only companion. She wiped a bit of drool from her face, checking to make sure her jug of shine hadn't tipped (it hadn't).
She cast about, looking for the required signs. A spider had cast a web high in the trees. Its fat body bouncing on a glistening web that had caught the moisture evaporating off the pot. The sign was good enough. She'd ruin Artie with her summoning cast.
With a stick, she carefully pulled the pot off the spit, setting it onto the leaf-strewn ground. The soft squelch of an unfortunate slug was drowned out by the sizzle of the black heat hitting wet leaves.
Dancing wasn't part of the magic, the skill, or the ritual. She danced because the thought of Artie Patch getting the kick in the ass he deserved made her feet move. To think her feet fluttered as her heart once did. She spat a glob into the pot. It sat congealed and slimy, waiting for the magic to commence.
Hettie carefully unscrewed the lid on her dusty vengeance. Her hands shook even with the lulling drag of liquor. A soft puff of ash floated above her jar, as the whimsy of the night breeze took its pittance.
She'd figured out, long ago, that skills could be altered and adjusted by belief and thread and pizzazz. Her feet tapped as she took out her brush, dipping it into the hot water. She lightly lifted a bit of crushed bone.
She whispered a skill so softly, even the crickets and frogs keeping her company couldn't hear it. The owl kept its own counsel.
Glowing filigree danced at the end of her brush as she designed otherworldly runes using an alphabet she'd almost forgotten. Whether the pits of hell were real, she still hadn't ascertained. However, as she scrawled her wish between the stars and the dirt her toes dug into, she knew the Everbear would try to grant her wish.
Vengeance.
Artie Patch would pay. He had left her for a toss of the dice and a bit of grog. She'd already tripled the potency of his ale, another skill from this ill-begotten world. Next time he drank, he'd be so wasted he wouldn't know a nose from a dongle! The night was filled with her cackling laugh as she scribbled nonsense with her goat hair brush.
“So, can someone tell me what the big deal about Rhi Voss is? She’s a witch?” Meredeath asked, as we walked away from the crater of our last adventure.
I beat Tandy to the punch, "We will, if you explain a little more about coming from another world."
"Yeah, is that why you need a [Sponsor] and the rest of us don't?" Tandy chimed in, giving me a fist bump for my pro-offered trade.
The forest was quietly beautiful. We'd hiked down into the tree line, leaving Malyc to find Ched and pick up the shattered pieces left from our fight with the corrupt guardian.
The hike was peaceful. We were surrounded by the giant firs and cedars common to Woodsten. Moss coated the trunks, and ferns displayed their leaves like offerings to the sun. The damp decay and cedar smells mixed with the chirps of bugs and the occasional knock of a woodpecker.
I was home. A place I wasn't sure I'd ever see again, face down in the shitty [Trial Dungeon]. Everything was crystal clear. The sunlight glistened off the dew, highlighting mushrooms and moths alike. My senses were hyperaware of our environment, and, for a moment, I wondered if I was having a stroke.
My focus snapped back to Meredeath as she began talking.
"What do you want to know? Outside of describing my world, I don't know any more than you. I would love to know how I got here and how I could get home.” She fingered her pendant, lost in thought. Shaking her head, she returned to the conversation, “My home doesn't have a system and rules." Her voice sounded lost, a stark contrast to the feelings in my heart.
"So you just woke up here?" Tandy started at the beginning.
"Yeah, I honestly don't remember anything about the day I woke up. Is this normal? I'm assuming it was some portal? An interdimensional wormhole?" Meredeath shrugged. "Hell, I don't know if this is a multiverse thing, a whole different world, or if I'm just in a coma at Stormont Vail."
"Stormont Vale sounds epic," Leo said.
"It's a hospital."
"Oh."
Each step wound us out of the mountains, towards Woodsten. The route to the swampy domain of the bone lady wasn't so much of a route as a general southeastern direction from Woodsten. No one went into the swamp intentionally.
"Okay, so you don't know how you got here. Why on earth did you become an [Adventurer]? It's dangerous," Tandy said, bringing us back to the conversation.
"See, you said it again: Earth. I can't tell if you're saying my word, or if," she waved at her head, "there's some magic translating what you call your world to the same thing I call mine."
Was that even possible?
"I didn't pick [Adventurer]. Your system informed me that I needed to report to a Guild Administrator within two weeks, or there would be consequences. Your system is a... has a lot of charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent." Meredeath's words didn't make sense. What was nerve? She continued, "The [Adventurer's] Guild didn't know what to do with me, so they threw me into the trials. The first attempt didn't go well, so they sent me down here to try this portal."
It just didn't make sense? Forcing someone new to a world into a death game was like throwing a perfectly fine carrot into the compost. The [Adventurer's] guild had always preyed on the fantasies of youth and promise. No one considered their advertising of adventure anything but scammy recruitment hype. The Leon Orrens of the world were the exception, not the rule.
"So, does your world not have an [Adventurer's] Guild?" Leo asked.
Meredeath gave a self-deprecating chuckle. "No, my world doesn't even have monsters or dungeons. At least not monster-filled labyrinths." She paused for a moment as though questioning if that was true. "Our monsters are people, our dungeons... money and the grind? It's not like this."
We had money, too, but the grind sounded awful.
"We have books that talk about different worlds,” Meredeath said. “All fiction, of course, none of us has been to another world. Well, except for a couple of old guys who went to the moon. It's just the raving imagination of authors tattooing it on the bones of trees."
My mind shuddered at the thought of trees having bones.
"You're talking about books, right?" Tandy said dryly, and at Meredeath's nod, I once again felt like an idiot.
"Do people from your world look like you?" Leo asked, without an ounce of shame.
"Like a woman?" Meredeath responded dryly.
Meredeath’s sarcasm went right over Leo’s head as he explained, "No, like the chains and... black? The stuff around your eyes and uh..." His face turned crimson as he tried to explain her chest.
I'd heard of folks dressing with less, but in Woodsten, we were in wool country, and winters were cold. Meredeath was definitely going to be identified as an outsider.
"Oh, my clothes? Yeah, this is normal fare where I come from." She looked at me as she finished her thought, "You should see what the men dress like."
How hard had that lightning hit me during the fight? Was she actually flirting with me?
Are you still in there, or did your brain leak out of your ears?
"He speaks!" I announced, fervently hoping his comment had only been directed at me. Richard had been pouting since we'd decided to visit the bone lady.
"Finally!" Meredeath said, rifling around in her bag to pull out a chunk of mushroom. "I've got a treat for you, if you're done sulking." She held out a mushroom with a purple head and white base. It was one of Richard's favorites.
Ah, a meal for a king! I love wine cap mushrooms. Cole, I told you we're keeping Meredeath, right?
"If we're keeping Meredeath, that means we're going to have to talk to the bone lady." My life had gotten weird.
Fine. You can talk to Rhi, but I have nothing to say to her.
"First name basis with the scary lady?” I teased my slug. “No one was expecting you to talk. Hell, I'm half expecting to die. I didn't think the bone lady was real, just a nightmare whispered to scare children."
Oh, she’s real.
Tandy had handed out more of her dried fruit and nut granola bars. Trail rations were rough, and Tandy had never been known for her cooking. My stomach was happy, but my taste buds yearned for the Ram's Horn and Marta's cooking.
Hell, I'd even take my cooking.
"Alright, I've answered your questions. I even got the slug to talk. Now, what is the big deal about this bone lady?"
Not - munch - it.
Richard opened his slimy mouth and took a gluttonous bite of the purple shroom cap.
"Well, Richard…" I tried, but Richard interrupted me.
CHOMP - CHOMP - CHOMP.
"…isn't willing to share any vital information with us, that he obviously knows. But we can fill you in on the rest of it. Rhi Voss is a legend, a monster, and a nightmare all rolled into one. There are a lot of stories, any mam has their own version passed down. That's why it's hard to believe she's real. If she's the same bone lady, she's been alive for hundreds of years."
"I mean, you're being kind of vague. What does she do to people? Can we even find her in a month?" Meredeath asked.
“You don’t find her, she finds you,” Leo whispered the adage.
Leo and I had explored the edge of the swamp once. A cold, lingering fog enveloped gnarled trees and moss-covered rocks that resembled ancient gravestones rebelling against the earth. I shivered, goosebumps running down my arms. Were we really doing this?
Nonplussed, Tandy began listing some of the stories. She’d never believed in those old fairy tales.
"She lures people into her swamp to perform experiments. She curses men, causing all sorts of problems from balding to impotence to turning them into worms. She is a cannibal, a dream walker, a necromancer. Some claim she's a blind seer who uses ravens to spy. Or black cats, or cockroaches? She has three nipples, or none.” Each point ticked off during Tandy’s recitation had a dozen stories about it. “There are so many stories about her, it's hard to keep them all separate."
"Sounds like she's a real witch. I like her already,” Meredeath said.
Meredeath would. I rescind my approval of Meredeath being on the team. Kick her off, Cole.
Meredeath gave me an amused smile, "You kicking me off the team?"
"I'll note, Richard, you're only having this opinion now that your mushroom is done. Also, I don't have the right to kick anyone off the team; that's Tandy's job." I firmly dodged any and all responsibility.
Wait… you mean I've been sucking up to the wrong teammate this whole time?
"Har har, very funny. But we should think of a plan, maybe over dinner?" I said, my stomach rumbling in emphasis.
"I was thinking of dropping by your parents’ place," Tandy said.
What?! No!
I tried to play it cool.
"Why not go into town? We do not need to bother my folks on a..." I'd forgotten what day of the week it was.
"On a Sunday?" Leo asked, grinning.
Shit. Was it Sunday? Sunday night dinners were a thing in my family. Tandy and Leo had spent many Sunday nights at my house eating and playing games. The Thornfield Sunday dinner was a complete experience.
"I was hoping we'd go into town," I said.
Leo elbowed me. He pointed at Tandy, whose back was to us, "Not everyone's going to be happy we're [Adventurers]. Give us one last Sunday dinner, man. We're fighting a nightmare tomorrow. Enjoy today."
I nodded. Leo was right from his perspective. To a man with no family, Sunday dinners with mine were always something he cherished.
He’d never had to live in the chaos or the judgment.
He was right, though. Our world was changing, and our life expectancy was dropping rapidly. This might be the last Sunday dinner for me… ever.
"So now what?" Leo asked the question we were all thinking.
"Now, Richard tells us where we need to go to find Meredeath a [Sponsor]," I said it with more confidence than I felt.
We all looked at Richard. He was very resolute in his study of an ashy leaf on the ground. The slug wouldn't meet our eyes.
"Richard!" I was done with it. I knew he was more than what he seemed.
I'm right here. You don't have to yell.
"Where do we find Meredeath a [Sponsor]?" My patience was thin.
“Can you tell us what a [Sponsor] even is?" Tandy asked, her voice a bit softer.
No.
"No, you won't tell us?" I was about to fling the slug into the horizon.
"Or no, you don't know?" Tandy asked, trying to smooth over the situation.
Richard sat on the stump, the victim of our ire. One of his eyestalks was pointed at me, and the other at Tandy. It had to be the slug equivalent of going cross-eyed. I was sure he was trying to make us laugh, but I wasn't in the mood.
I am abstaining from this conversation.
His antenna sank into his body, not completely, but enough to mimic a door slamming in our faces. His body pulsed, exuding slime that smelled of fuck off.
Tandy and I shared a glance. We were going to revisit this topic with him later. At least the rest of the team could hear him talk, and he wasn't just ganging up on me.
"How about we talk to him?" Our heads swiveled to the small shack Meredeath was pointing at. Ironically, the building I hadn't bothered considering as a good shelter had withstood the fight and the blast. It was the only structure on the ridge.
Malyc's eyes were wide as he examined his home. His ceremonial gold-trimmed crimson robes looked out of place in the devastation. My anger at Richard pivoted hard.
"Hey, Administrator Malyc!" I waved, my voice sickenly upbeat.
His head turned, with a look of surprise. I realized he hadn't expected any of us to survive that fight. The man picked his way between rock and upturned tree, holding his robes off the ground in a losing attempt to keep the hem out of the ash.
"Congratulations are in order!" Malyc called as he trundled his way up to us.
I'd never had an opinion of the Guide Administrator. Never thought I’d need a measure of the man. He'd just been an official who visited Woodsten every couple of months.
Now? Now, I low-key hated the guy. I couldn't look at his face without remembering his back disappearing into that little shack. Abandoning me. Abandoning my team.
It was hard for me to change my opinion of the guy after that.
We'd all stood up to greet him. Tandy'd elbowed her way next to me and grabbed my arm with the grip of a weaver. I got the message. Don't say anything.
Her voice came out smooth as butter, "Administrator, so good to see you. We did fight off the bear and survived the [Trial Dungeon]."
"Yes! My region now has four new [Adventurers]! This is fantastic!" he said with a proud father grin, as though he had anything to do with our success. The pot boiled in my head.
"So, you're one of the Administrators for the region, right?" Tandy asked innocently. It was always nice to see one of her traps working on someone else for a change.
"Yes, I own the Bear Ridge Testing Ground," his voice trailed off as he looked around, noticing that the testing portal no longer existed. He cleared his throat, "and the Northeast Mountain District. You're familiar with the Adventurer Guild's district system, correct?"
The way he said it, you knew immediately, only uneducated mundanes didn't know the guild's districting scheme.
Leo and I put our fake smiles on and nodded. I mean, I knew what a district was. It wasn't hard to figure out that the Northeast Mountain District probably encompassed Woodsten and the area along the Ursine wall, up north, to the sea.
Malyc puffed up at our nods. I shrank the size of the district in my mental map.
"I'm sure you're aware of Meredeath's special qualities as an [Adventurer]?" Tandy asked, smiling as though Meredeath's status was as evident as the sky was blue. The words unspoken, only a mundane wouldn’t inherently understand Meredeath’s worth.
"Ah, yes, it seems as though she managed to integrate into your party successfully! This is excellent!" The man's words didn't match his expression. He was evaluating Meredeath with a skill, trying to figure out what was so special about her.
"Yes, she was very key to…" Tandy waved at the destruction around us. The ash had finally stopped falling, but it'd muted everything in the ridge in a grey blanket.
Malyc's eyebrows rose. "That is truly impressive. I'm glad I was able to secure her for your trial."
"Personally, I think we need her for our region," Tandy emphasized the 'our' leaning into his ego. "We're a new group of [Adventurers] and Meredeath's just got some experience and powers that integrate incredibly well with the team. She gets results. You know?"
Malyc nodded, swallowing the bait hook, line, and sinker.
"Yes!" He turned to Meredeath. "I hope you're open to staying here with us. This region is remote, but as you can see, it presents numerous challenges. And a lot of opportunities! We have roaming dungeon-born that make it over the wall. You don't get that in the West. We don't regulate our dungeons, so there are no lotteries or lines. Just making your numbers go up, fight after fight."
He spoke as though these were rehearsed lines. Like the frontier was a cult he'd tried selling to urban [Adventurers].
"I could see staying," Meredeath said. We all watched as Malyc's eyes lit up. Before he could say anything, she continued, "with [Your Mom's Party]. It really depends on where they want to go."
Malyc turned back to Tandy, appraising her. I realized, as he started to look hopeful, that he'd underestimated Tandy. It was a good reminder that [Appraisal] and [Analyze] only gave you skills and numbers, but weren’t an accurate measure of a person.
"I'm sure you three want to stay local?" He said it, addressing Leo. That was a mistake. Tandy hated it when someone assumed Leo would make the decisions because of his height, muscles, and gender. Leo grinned, waiting for the hammer to drop.
"That depends," Tandy said with an edge of steel in her voice. Malyc's eyes swung back to her, sensing the impending danger. "On whether you can help us with a few things."
"Well, part of my job is helping new [Adventurers] get on their feet," his voice was guarded, a little less hopeful. "What can I do for you?"
"We need a [Sponsor] for Meredeath, I'm sure if you were to sponsor her..." Tandy's confident voice trailed off as Malyc blanched.
"H-how long do you have?" His voice had taken on a mournful, nervous quality.
"One month," Meredeath's voice was flat, like she'd been expecting the disappointment we were all feeling.
"I can't [Sponsor] you."
The words were a slap. Meredeath’s jaw tightened.
Leo unstrapped his axe. "Can't or won't?"
I stepped in playing the good guy role, "Leo, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation. Right, Administrator?"
"I can't, I'm not high enough level. I'm just an Administrator, I'm not even an [Adventurer]." Like a tumbler lock, everything started to make more sense. He was just a paper pusher.
"If that's true, how'd you open the portal?" Tandy asked.
Malyc's face reddened as he replied, "It's an artifact. A magical key. I just slotted it into the arch..." And it just worked for him. I began to wonder if they even knew how to replace the [Trial Dungeon] portal at all. The Administrators were caretakers of [Adventurers], artifacts, and systems they didn't even understand.
"But you know who could [Sponsor] Meredeath," I said, confident that he did. The power of Administrators was in who and what they knew. Malyc had been afraid when we told him she needed a [Sponsor]. A man like him wouldn't be frightened of something he didn't know.
Yes, you're starting to understand.
"I do, but regrettably, I doubt it's going to do you much good. There were two individuals who had sufficient levels within a month's journey of us." His voice finally rang with honesty.
"Were?" Tandy asked. Meredeath's face was still downcast. No part of her was expecting a solution.
"Yes, one of our [Sages], Leon Orren, joined the Everbear." Leo gasped. Leon Orren, the short king, was renowned for his short blades and overpowered buffs.
"That's unlikely," Tandy argued. "We'd have heard about it."
When we were kids, Leo had convinced half of us that he'd been named after the famous [Adventurer]. Leon had mostly worked out of Dusridge, a trade hub two weeks south of us. If Leon had fallen, everyone would know about it.
"I would posit that you have the evidence before you. I no longer have a border guardian, and the corruption of the wilds is pressing hard.” He'd waved at the crater we sat in. Point made. “Leon was still in his prime, but [Adventurers] have a dangerous job."
"You said there were two?" Meredeath's voice was quiet.
Malyc looked at her. He let out his breath in a blusterous exhale, his shoulders sank as though he was releasing all of his verbal posturing.
"I did, my dear, but the second person isn't so much an option as a legend. And she's a legend you don't want to pursue."
“Let me guess, some mythical forest hag that eats men’s livers for a snack,” Meredeath said in a verbal eyeroll at our guild administrator.
An awkward silence sat between us all. It stretched on, making me think Meredeath's joke had been right.
But who was he talking about?
Tandy got there first. Her voice was acerbic. "The bone lady? You're going to send us into the swamp after Rhi Voss?" Malyc flinched with each syllable.
[You have chosen [Dead Wrong] for your [Adventurer] class. [Cheat Death], [Alive, For Once], [Analyze], and [Improvised Damage] have been granted. You will retain [Party], [Stillpoint], [Heartbeat], [Partial Rapport], [Companion], and [Minor Manipulate Slime] as part of your [Adventurer] base class. Legacy skills [Hammer Time], [Nailed It], and [Self Critic] are also available but will no longer progress. Adventure onward.]
No congratulations? The system didn't seem pleased with my choice, but at least I was able to retain a couple of my old skills. I looked at [Self Critic], wishing that wasn't one of them.
I joined the rest of [Your Mom's] party, "So, I'm not one to question luck, but Meredeath..." Green eyes focused on me. My mouth suddenly went dry. "You're dead." Words failed me.
Leo verbally groaned.
Amused, her eyes crinkled along her cat eyeliner. She mimed patting herself down, looked at Tandy, "Do I seem like a zombie? I feel pretty alive."
Tandy frowned, as though seriously examining Meredeath for zombieism, "No, but I'm not going to rule out vampire."
"No, you know what I mean." I could feel my ears burning. "In that last fight against the Dunglord, you sacrificed yourself for Tandy."
And how many times did she die in total?
Oh. Shit. I wanted to crawl under a rock.
Leo saved me, may the Everbear bless his soul.
"It's a good thing you didn't die in the intestines, but what'd got me confused is why didn't you come out with the rest of us?"
"Yeah, what he said." I pointed at Leo. Meredeath's gaze told me just how stupid I sounded.
"Well, when you all left, without me, the Dunglord reset. I had to fight him again while the dungeon fell apart." She said it like it didn't mean anything, that we'd abandoned her in the dungeon, but she wasn't meeting our eyes.
She soloed the boss. She said it with such nonchalance, like it wasn't a big deal. Leo's jaw hung open in astonishment, and his jaw wasn't the only one.
She flipped her hair, dismissing our incredulity. "The hard part about that dungeon was keeping the squishies alive." Meredeath waved towards us.
"What's a squishy?" Leo asked, clueless. I didn't know either, but I knew better than to ask.
Meredeath looked up at my big friend, frowning. "It's a stuffed animal where I'm from, but in context here it just means you're easily killed."
"Poke me in the gut, you'll see how squishy I am," Leo muttered, flexing his abs. They were visible under his t-shirt, cradled by the two sides of Tandy's sweater that he insisted on wearing.
"Are you leaving us then? Now that you're an [Adventurer] in name as well as ability?" Tandy's voice quietly sliced through our banter. Leo and I looked at Meredeath, not having considered that particular outcome.
I really didn't want her to leave. I also wasn't ready to say that out loud.
Meredeath looked at Tandy, Leo, me, and then her eyes hopped to Richard. They stared at each other as though a personal conversation was taking place.
Tandy’s eyes darted from my shoulder to Meredeath and back, concluding the same thing.
"You two going to include us in this discussion?" Tandy did not take kindly to being talked over. She received it in abundance from her grandmother growing up.
Meredeath looked at the rest of us again.
You can trust them.
Leo's eyes widened. "Was that Richard? My little banana peel, why haven't you been talking to us this whole time?"
"Of course it was Richard, you dolt," Tandy said, punching him in the shoulder. "But yeah, same question, Richard."
It's a hidden quality of [Partial Rapport]. I refuse to explain further.
Why would he have hidden this from everyone?
Meredeath, tell them or I will.
"Fine, but let's sit down. It's a long story," said Meredeath as she sank to the ground, legs crossed. She sounded defeated.
We were scraped, singed, bleeding, bruised, and covered in ash. My ankle ached, I was pretty sure I was missing my eyebrows, and I looked like I'd spent the day roasting myself in the oven. We all sat down, as though it was perfectly normal to sit in the crater grave of one of the legendary guardians to have a little chat. Tandy opened her bag and passed out snacks. I brushed off a rock and put Richard down.
Leo handed me my hammer. As my hand wrapped around the shaft, a notification triggered.
[[Guardian's Promise] - Soul Bound - This ordinary hammer has been infused with the magic of the Guardians of the Ursine Wall. It is as though a Guardian always has your back, the hammer carries the gratitude of the Guardian [Your Mom’s Party] freed from corruption. [Guardian’s Promise] is soul bonded with an individual [Cole Thornfield], and all attributes will only work with this individual. The death of [Cole Thornfield] will result in the self-destruction of the [Guardian's Promise]. Abilities: [Target: Dungeon Born] - Grants additional damage against dungeon and dungeon originating monsters, this scales with user abilities and powers. [Guardian] - Grants additional damage when used in defense of [Your Mom's Party] or [Mundane] individuals. [Molten Promise] - Allows the user to alter the hammer head for various purposes. Initial forms are: Hammer, Pick, and Molten.]
[Guardian's Promise] glowed in my hand. Runes like those that had been carved into the arch glowed along the pitted hammer head. It felt good, but I couldn't help but wonder if I'd chosen the wrong class after all. This weapon was meant for a [Hammer Vanguard].
I’d followed my gut about [Dead Wrong]. Time would tell if I was right, but this first puzzle piece was a proverbial gut punch.
I gave the weapon a couple of swings, wondering what the form molten did. The intensity of it glowed brighter, almost with a touch of the corrupt guardian's lightning. Question answered.
I couldn't believe I'd gotten a soul-bound weapon out of the fight. It mirrored Tandy's [Mercurial Scissors]. Grinning, I clipped the hammer to my belt, its light extinguishing instantly.
Its description was missing torch. Who’s the glowworm now?
“I never called you a glowworm,” I hissed. He was salty about something he called himself! Typical fanged banana slug behavior.
"You done, swinging your hammer?" Meredeath had lost her patience. I looked down to find my friends waiting for me. Chagrin, I joined them sitting on an overturned stone covered in ash.
"Sorry, the weapon..." I trailed off, knowing I’d lost focus. "Go ahead." If my face hadn't already gotten burned, it'd be burning.
Meredeath stared at me a moment longer, as though daring me to get distracted. I just nodded and gave her a friendly smile.
"Okay, I'm only going to explain this once. And you're going to have questions that I either can't or won't answer, so pay attention." Each word was begrudgingly given, as though it was our fault we didn't know what'd happened to her.
"You are from another world?" Tandy blurted out.
I laughed. That was wild. What “other world?” I realized no one else was laughing. Cutting myself off, I cleared my throat.
"Sorry, I just... You can't... I mean, another world?" I said the last word with a squeak. Meredeath's thin eyebrow arched as though daring me to make a bigger fool of myself.
"Yeah," Meredeath looked at Tandy, "I'm not sure how you knew. But yeah, I'm from another world. A place called Kansas. My world doesn't have magic, although I think you'd consider a lot of the technology from my world magic, just because you didn't understand how it worked. I'm here, and I received a new quest after the [Trial Dungeon] that I can't avoid. So it plays into this question of whether I go-"
"We'll help." The words were out of my mouth before she finished her question. I said the words, staring right into her green eyes, knowing I'd follow her into hell itself if it would help. The corners of Meredeath’s lips teased a smile, but her eyes flickered to my teammates.
Tandy coughed. Oops.
"I'll help," I said meekly.
"We'll all help, Meredeath. But we do need to know what your new quest is, and what this has to do with you being from another world." Tandy's voice was reassuring, and I flicked my eyes to hers. She smiled at me. I looked at Leo, who was grinning from ear to ear.
"Well, the system granted me an [Adventurer] base class, but errored out giving me a specific class," Meredeath tried to explain. Seeing our confused expressions, she continued, "It gave some sort of computer error message and told me that it didn't have the mana required to grant my non-standard class, and then triggered a quest."
"Can you share the quest with us?" Tandy asked, ever practical.
Meredeath frowned. "It says the quest isn't shareable. Oh wait, here there's an option to share text only."
[Quest Granted: [Find a Sponsor]
Congratulations on passing the [Trial Dungeon] as an [Expeditionary Force]. You have been granted the [Adventurer] base class and have retained your [Adventurer] skills. Since you have not chosen any of the [Adventurer] classes offered, you must now find a sponsor for an appropriate [Adventurer] class. You have [1 month] to complete this task. Failure to do so will result in removal from this realm. Adventure Onward.]
"... the thing is," Meredeath's voice was soft, "it never offered me [Adventurer] classes."
Leo, of all people, was the first to put it together.
"You're one of us!" He reached across and slapped her on the back.
Meredeath looked at him like he was crazy, and I must have seemed equally confused. Leo chuckled at our expressions.
"She's one of us, Cole," his grin widened, "She's broken."
Bear Ridge needed a new name. Corruption Crater? [Your Mom's] Mistake?
Everything was whiter than it should be. It was still bright out. The sun and clouds resolutely insisted on a lovely day.
Oversized snowflakes drifted in the air. No, not snow. Ash. I held out my hand and caught a flake. Delicate and warm, I wondered what part of the ridge it'd been.
Everything was eerily quiet.
A large paw landed on my shoulder. I froze, ready to fight. My fingers wrapped around a rock as I turned.
The beast was... Leo?
The rock fell, as my foe turned out to be Leo in his shredded pink sweater. Blood dribbled slowly from a cut on his forehead. Frayed gashes cut through the weaves of his singed sweater. After almost dying to a pink corrupted guardian, I’d decided the color was indisputably badass.
He shook me urgently, his eyes worried. Oh, his mouth was moving.
It wasn't quiet. My ears were broken. I rubbed at one absently.
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" I said, or shouted. I'm not sure how loud it came up, but my friend stopped and nodded.
He gestured back to a huddled Ched and a white faced Meredeath. He pointed to his eyes, then at the clearing, making a scissors snipping sign that we'd used for Tandy since the great fabric scissor heist. I nodded my understanding and shakily stood up.
"Tandy!" I yelled. "Richard? Where's Tandy?!" By the Everbear, where was Richard?
Shut up you dolt. You don't need to yell, I'm right here.
Richard licked my neck to emphasize his point.
"Damn-it Richard, don't be a dick. We need to find Tandy." And I needed my hearing back. As my wits returned, a niggling worry took form. Tandy was alive, right?
The ridge had been blown to hell, but most of the blast went away from our party. The alpine lake was draining rather rapidly into the new crater. The waterfall created was majestic, if raw in its beauty.
Richard bit my ear, tugging me to the left. I looked up the slope to find Leo waving. His mouth was working hard to say, I FOUND HER!
Relieved, I scrambled up the ashen landscape, "You don't have to bite me, you know. You could just tell me Leo had found her."
What would be the fun in that?
I didn't bother responding. I just scrambled back to the top of the crater to find Leo's arm wrapped around Tandy. She looked as good as I felt. Like we'd just survived the angry death of a lightning-obsessed demi-god.
A dull pop sounded, and I could hear again. A tinny ringing muted everything. I rubbed at my ear, wishing it'd heal faster.
"HEY," whoops, I really had been talking too loud. Lowering my voice, I continued, "Hey guys, looks like we made it."
Great words, Captain Obvious.
Tandy cradled something in her hands. I squinted, my mind slow to comprehend the silver globe floating in her palms. It flickered like a heartbeat, taking the shape of scissors, a dagger, and a butter knife. What was it? A tear of grief dripped off her cheek, landing right on the shimmering butter knife. Flicker.
Scissors again. Realization dawned as her face transformed into awe. This was the remnant of her most prized possession. Her fabric scissors.
"What is that?" I asked, “I’ve never seen anything like it.”
It defied my understanding of the world.
Meredeath had joined us, handing me the handle of my hammer. "You should check your notifications, Cole." Shrugging, I brought up the long-ignored notification list.
[Congratulations! You have completed the Quest: [Trial Dungeon]. You have earned the Base Class [Adventurer] that replaces your [Mundane] designation. Please confirm your removal of all classes and skills associated with your Base Class of [Mundane]. Acceptance will remove [Chef], [Smith], and [Meditation] and all related skills.]
[Do you agree to take the earned Base Class of [Adventurer]?]
The message sat, waiting for my acceptance or rejection. A void opened in my chest. How did we not know we'd have to give up our mundane classes? Our skills? My eyes flickered to Tandy. Had she given up all of her two hundred skills?
[Do you agree to take the earned Base Class of [Adventurer]?]
Was I ready to leave my old life behind? My old friends: [Analyze], [Steady Temperature], and [Monotonous Calm]?
I'd managed to hang onto [Hammer Time] as a young chef by tenderizing meat on a metal counter. The other staff had looked at me like I was crazy, but I'd tried to keep every hard-won skill. They might not have been the best, but they'd been mine.
On a drunken whim, was I really going to leave everything behind? I could reject the offer. Go back to Woodsten. I refocused on my friends. Were they going to be offered the same choice? What were they going to pick? Had they already?
Neither one of them gave me a hint. Leo poked at the liquid edge of Tandy's scissors, pulling his finger back in pain as it neatly cut into his flesh. Leo sucked on his sliced finger, as Tandy looked at him like he was an idiot.
I could feel Richard's tentacles boring a hole in the side of my brain. I knew what he wanted me to do, but I also appreciated that he hadn't said anything. This was my choice. The only person whom I could blame for whatever came next was me.
"I accept," I whispered.
An immediate rush of energy cycled through my body. I stood a little straighter, and the ringing in my ears stopped. It was as if my body had reknit itself to the boundless energy levels I had as a child.
"Woah," I felt like I could climb a mountain, take on another dunglord, or spank a giant glowing bear.
"Well, are you all ready to go back home? I can't wait to get back to chopping wood." Leo's voice rumbled.
What?! Had they not chosen [Adventurer]? Was I now stuck fighting monsters alone?
My head snapped up to find my three friends stifling laughter, eyes shining. I realized I'd been played.
"I told you he hadn't looked at his notifications," Meredeath said, shaking her head.
"Man, how'd you even survive that fight as a mundane? And you call me the dumb one."
"Your face, Cole." Whether it was the joke or relief we'd survived, Tandy gave a rare uncontrolled giggle ending in a snort. It felt good.
"You all suck," I said it with a smile, blinking with watery eyes. A piece of ash must have gotten into them, yeah, that was it.
Keep reading. Richard gave me a gentle nudge.
The system's notification blinked, still demanding my attention. Now that we were out of combat, it was incessant.
[Congratulations, [Adventurer]! Your performance during the trial periods has been evaluated. You defeated one bogquacker, a raiding party, a widowmaker, two root canals, multiple ribbons of hunger, and a Dunglord boss.]
It left out the corrupted guardian. Irritated, I continued reading.
[Choices matter. Your defeat methodology includes: punting, trapping, setting on fire, kicking, pounding (multiple), and faking death. Additionally, [Companion] actions have weight, which includes using you as a shield (multiple), heat resistance, self-immolation, self-sacrifice, decorative fangs (multiple), and running away (multiple).
With these actions, you are being given three choices for an initial [Adventurer] class. Choose wisely, just like [Mundane] classes, [Adventurer] classes influence the types of skills and specializations an [Adventurer] can earn. Choose one of the following:
[Hammer Vanguard] - When diplomacy fails, the brutal strike of a hammer succeeds. This class channels kinetic power into overwhelming, blunt strikes. Each hit builds resonance and, at higher mastery, enables devastating shockwaves and armor-negating impacts. This class can be specialized down multiple paths, most frequently as a [Berserker].
Initially unlocks:
[Echo of Impact]: Passive skill that increases the area of effect of hammer strikes at the cost of some stamina regeneration.
[Boom]: Strike that initially has a [30%] chance to ignore armor and a [15%] chance to critical hit for 3x damage. Costs stamina and has a 5-minute cooldown.
[Brickhouse]: Defensive skill initially lasting [2] minutes that negates [25%] of damage.]]
The class sounded more suited to Leo than me. I did like to smash. I evaluated my next option:
[[Meatshield Martyr] - Protect your friends at any cost. This class uses a wide range of defensive techniques to minimize damage to a party at the expense of its wielder. This class routinely can intercept blows, absorb magical damage, and loudly motivate teammates to get out of their way. This class can specialize in multiple paths. The most frequently chosen are [Bulwark] and [Lastwall].
Initially unlocks:
[You Looking At Me?]: Passive skill that draws foes’ attention during combat. Generally leads to focused attacks on you, protecting your party. The higher the skill opponents are using, the more likely it is that it will be directed at you. Costs some mana regeneration.
[Not On My Watch]: This skill allows you to leap in front of a fatal attack meant for a party member within a [6]-foot radius. Grants a [20%] base chance of blocking that stacks with any other weapon, combat, or defensive abilities.
[Rock]: Passive skill that increases resistance to all damage types. Eventual specializations can lead to the complete negation of specific damage types.
[Me First]: This skill grants additional defensive bonuses. These bonuses decrease the more your party drops in health. This skill costs initial stamina and further stamina regeneration as long as it is active. This skill has a [1 day] cooldown.]
Wow. The name of the class was ugly, but the skills were powerful. I looked at my friends laughing. I would do anything to prevent them from dying. I could be an impenetrable force, blocking and absorbing blows. Before I picked it, I wanted to see what my last option was.
[[Dead Wrong] - Through trickery, you can thrive like a cockroach hiding in dark corners. This class slips through the cracks, utilizing a variety of off-market skills to avoid and deal damage. The class deals damage by exploiting misdirection, opportunity, and quick reads. Class specialization can take multiple paths; however, there are not enough [Adventurers] who have chosen [Dead Wrong] to identify a common path. Available specializations are [Improvised], [Loophole], and...]
Richard bit me. I swatted at him, "What do you want?"
His voice echoed in my head innocently.
Nothing, just checking if you’re done yet.
"This isn't a choice to rush." Irritated, I returned to reading. I was pretty sure this class was a joke.
[... [Decorative Fangs].]
Now I knew it was a joke. What the hell?
[Initially unlocks:
[Cheat Death]: Passive that automatically triggers you to cheat fatal damage once per day. The methods of cheating death vary. Use at your own risk.
[Alive, For Once]: Stacking effect that gives +5% to all attributes for [1] day when you survive combat without leveraging a skill, avoiding, feigning, or temporizing death.
[Analyze]: This skill provides detailed information about an entity or object. The information provided varies by level difference, focus, and prior knowledge.
[Improvised Damage]: This skill allows even the most mundane items to be used with deadly intent. Gain a [50%] damage bonus when attacking with an unconventional object.]
The breadth of the skills on [Dead Wrong] was incredible, but thriving like a ‘cockroach’ wasn't appealing. It was as though the system crafted my options to appeal to my desire to keep everyone safe, specifically so I wouldn't choose this last option. Even the title of the class was ridiculous.
Absently, I reached up to my shoulder to scratch under Richard's chin. He stretched out in gratitude.
Richard and I hadn't talked about the Library yet, or the [Trials of a Hero]. I had the sneaking suspicion we weren't going to either that he wouldn't, or couldn't, speak of it.
He knew the system personally. They had history. I still couldn’t stretch my mind around the sarcastic asshole on my shoulder going toe to toe with the system.
For some unknown reason, Richard had picked me. My heart warmed as I looked at Tandy playing with her scissors, and Leo laughing at his own joke as Meredeath rolled her eyes. Richard had picked us.
"The way it's been going, [Cheat Death] could come in handy," I said to Richard, seeing if he'd react.
Pick that one.
"Why? I mean, it could be dead wrong." I kept scratching. One eye tentacle turned towards me slowly as his body wiggled in pleasure.
Pick something else, then. His words didn't match the serious eye stalk staring me down. Looks like he couldn't talk about it.
"I'm going to pick what I want," I said impudently just to tease him.
Both of his eyestalks turned to me, evaluating. Then he gave the slug equivalent of a shrug and started grooming himself with a loud slurp of his tongue.
Yeah, it's guaranteed that whatever you pick will be the wrong choice.
Whatever Richard had planned, he didn't have time to trigger a skill before Tandy came flying out of the tree.
She jumped onto the corrupt guardian's head. That part with the deadly sharp teeth. She clung with her legs on either side of its snout, stabbing with… was that her fabric scissors?
Leo ran forward, swinging his axe into the beast's ribs.
Meredeath looked like death incarnate as she activated her fishnet bracers, blocking a clawed swing aimed at Leo.
My view of the bear was unique. I could see into its ribcage. The legends were true. Instead of a heart, the mechanical bear had an old city bell dangling in a deep miasma of magenta. Magic wrapped around the metal bell, stifling its toll. It had degraded over the years, corrosion freezing it in place, and flakes of rust peeling off runes.
The bear’s body rocked as Leo hit it with another heavy blow.
With a roar, the bear shook hard. Knocking Tandy off its face. She'd lodged her fabric scissors in the beast’s remaining good eye. Clung to a dagger lodged in the neck joint.
The beast clawed at its face, trying to dislodge the scissors from its eye. I grabbed my hammer, raising it high into the bear's chest cavity.
If I could just hit... the bear torqued on its haunches, and my hammer slammed into the bell.
A low, mournful, dissonant twang erupted from the bear as it staggered back. I surged forward, clanking the head of my hammer on the bell again.
As though to emphasize the message, pink lightning erupted, as internal mechanisms in the bear jangled. A burst of energy exploded from its core. Tandy went flying off its back. She landed painfully on the rocky ground.
Leo was by her side in an instant. She waved him off as he tried to pick her up, and instead settled for leaning against him as they moved towards a large tree. I focused on them, ignoring the state of my body.
Warnings and notifications flashed in my vision as I watched them duck behind the old growth. They were safe for the moment. The breath I’d held expelled as the pain rolled in.
My hands and arms were charred. My clothes were singed. The hammer toppled out of my hands as my fingers refused to hold it up. I watched, unable to move, as the head thumped into the dirt next to me. My skin alternated between red and black, and the head of my hammer glowed, looking almost molten against the ground.
Unencumbered, the corrupt guardian brought its claws down towards me.
Time seemed to slow as the deadly claws inched towards my body. Pain was temporary, death eternal. I shifted every sensation into a box I’d evaluate later if I lived.
I grabbed the handle of my hammer and lunged forward. I would put all my strength into one more hit. Ring the bell one last time.
[Peel]!
My foot slipped dramatically, spilling me backwards.
"Damn-it, Richard!" Why couldn't he just give me the win?
Two paws clapped together in the space I vacated. The thunderous crack of an executed skill reverberated in my bones.
Electrical discharge forked through the air. The hair on my arms stood on end as the ball of lightning grew.
You might want to move. Quietly.
Between an earlier hit and Tandy's scissors, the corrupt guardian was blind. Another bolt of energy zig-zagged, striking a stump a foot to my left.
This wasn't a normal skill, but it stunk of magic. Of the ether that broke the natural laws and boundaries of skills.
I moved, crab walking backwards towards the stump. Lightning never strikes twice in the same place, right? My skin was hot and tight, protesting every move.
The guardian moved its paws further apart, and the ball of energy grew. Lightning sparked in its eye sockets and between its ribs. The smell of ozone filled the air.
Each movement was a testament to the force of my will. My focus was singular, reaching the stump. My mind was fixated on the idea of it being safe. Lightning wouldn't strike twice. The old adage repeated in my head.
The bear’s head slowly tilted down, as though it could see me. Twin balls of energy sat in each eye socket. It grinned at me, energy dancing between serrated teeth.
Suddenly I realized a fundamental truth of the universe: Spells and monsters didn't give a fuck about old wives tales.
A fork shot out as I moved, splitting my legs. The energy hit between my knees in the middle of the stump. Shit! With my future progeny at risk, I scrambled backwards. Ched came out of nowhere, giving me a helpful hand up.
He pulled me behind a tree as the former guardian’s power output increased. For some reason, it seemed rooted in the spot.
The five of us huddled between two trees on either side of the path. The bear watched us as we watched it, lightning shooting out indiscriminately.
"What do we do now?" Leo's voice was low, and the sleeve of his sweater was singed.
I looked at Tandy; she always had a plan. I could see the whites of her eyes. Her jump to the bear had been incredibly risky. I think she was still in shock that she’d done it.
"Cole's hit was working. The weak spot was the bell, that's what sparked off whatever this is," Meredeath waved at the bear as a bolt shot through Tandy's webbing, exploding a third of her trap in a split second.
"Yeah, it gave me a [Critical Hit]. One or two more of those, and it'll be done," my mouth raced as fast as my mind. How were we going to get close enough to deliver another hit?
The bear's fur stood on end now, little bolts dancing between bone and cog and clump of flesh. The smell of burnt meat drifted across the ridge.
This was fucked up. There was no way we were going to get closer to the beast.
The fur around its eyes had begun to change from a grizzled brown to white. The energy increased as it widened its paws again.
"Whatever we're going to do, it needs to be soon." Another zap exploded a tree in a shower of splinters. I continued, "I don't know why it hasn't just finished us."
Meredeath frowned, "I just assumed the skill couldn't be activated when moving." We looked at each other for a moment. It made sense. It was building up power to do something.
"Richard, what do you think?" Where was Richard? I peeked from behind my tree. Nothing.
I knelt and peeked for a longer look.
He wasn't where I'd slipped on him. I didn't see any slime path away from the corrupt guardian. Squinting at a flash, I scanned the forest floor. Where was my damn slug?
I closed my eyes, willing [Partial Rapport] to work. I opened my eyes to the feeling of a slight tug towards the bear.
"I see him," Meredeath said. She’d joined me behind the tree, pressed tight, trying to squeeze close enough to leave no target for the beast’s magic. My breath caught as she shifted, pressing her chest against my back as she tipped her head around my body to look at the bear. Her fingers gripped my wrist, dragging me forward as she pointed.
"Do you see him?" She said, in awe. I winced as her fingers dug into my burnt arm.
Confused, I squinted into the harsh light of the spell. Between flashes, I caught a glimpse of yellow between two of the bear’s ribs.
"What the hell?" What was he doing?
Meredeath pulled us both back under cover as a strike shot out in our direction. Her breath was hot against my ear as she answered my unspoken question, "He's going to disrupt the spell." I shivered, goose bumps running down my back.
I leaned out, trying to confirm her assumption. A bolt ricocheted within the bear. Richard glowed as he was struck. The lightning burst passed right through his boneless body. My vision burned with the afterimage of a slug imprisoned by lightning-soaked ribs.
I blinked a few times, my eyes watering. Staring at the corrupt guardian, I had to ask, "Is Richard glowing?" Maybe he was a glowworm after all.
Meredeath didn't answer. I looked back at the empty spot next to me. My arm still ached where she’d squeezed it.
She was gone.
My frantic search ended abruptly as I caught sight of her slinking towards the bear.
Lightning danced in the shiny surface of her boots as I watched her agilely move forward. Her forearm was flexed, holding my hammer, its head still glowing from my original strike.
I fingered the loop where my hammer should have rested.
A fork of lightning struck the tree Ched had been hiding behind. The man shrieked as he fled. Meredeath hadn't paused as she crept forward, tracking towards her goal. Richard glowed, I could almost hear his slime bubbling as energy surrounded his body.
Tandy, Leo, and I were frozen watching the scene as our guardians took on the corrupt ancient sentinel.
An arc struck out for Meredeath, missing as she rolled to the right. Her feet moved and froze, and shifted as though she could see lines of energy invisible to us. Richard climbed higher, towards the bear's heart. His yellow form stood out in a golden radiance against the angry pink.
Meredeath was almost within range. The bear tilted its head, and two bolts shot from its eyes. My jaw clenched as I watched. These bolts were unavoidable.
Meredeath crossed her forearms. A magical shield popped into view, deflecting the attack. The bear shifted, and a paw lashed out, backhanding her. Meredeath hadn't expected the move as she went flying. Her shield shimmering out of existence. One of her fishnet bracers sparked angrily, its enchantment broken.
Grinning maniacally, our teammate got to her feet and moved faster towards the towering beast. Her hair stood on end as though she were a vengeful goddess. She ducked below a clawed paw, swinging my hammer not towards the bell, but the glowing ball of energy in front of the bear.
"No!" Tandy yelled, starting to run towards Meredeath.
Leo roared as he raised his axe with both hands and threw it at the bear. The enchanted axe sang as it whipped end over end towards the beast.
Tandy was too late. Leo's axe was too late. Meredeath had already arrived.
My ex-girlfriend would tell you that timing wasn't one of my strong suits.
As I watched Meredeath's face change from a warm greeting to horror at the atrocity barreling down on her, I had to agree.
The portal winked closed behind her as Malyc removed his key.
Fuck.
The Guild Administrator blinked slowly, as though coming out of a trance.
The corrupted guardian dropped a clawed paw right in the middle of Meredeath’s chest, pinning her to the ground. Unable to stop, the bear charged right into the archway. The impact shoved its broad shoulders through, but jammed the beast between the magical columns; neither torso nor hips could fit.
I couldn’t decide if the bear had expanded that much, or now that the column’s magic was dormant, if it’d shrunk. Either way, the bear was stuck. The ground shook as it tried to free itself. It was stuck temporarily. I had no doubt the former guardian would be loose again soon.
Getting to my feet, I scrambled to the last known location of Meredeath, which was now the tattered hind end of the bear.
She was gone.
"Will someone help me?" Meredeath screeched from an improbable position.
The bear began pulling, trying to unstick itself. Tentatively, I stepped closer to the beast, trying to piece together where exactly Meredeath's voice was coming from.
Rotted fur hung from steel ribs as I tried not to smell it. Dark magic whirled beneath its bones. The ominous, hot-pink tendrils of corruption reached for me as I leaned into the mass, trying to find Meredeath.
I reached in, the corruption burning my hands as I searched.
I found one of her boots, my hand scrabbled against the leather until I latched onto a dangling chain and pulled. With an unheard pop, I was able to get her out from under the beast. Every one of her defensive enchantments had triggered. Her lace bracers glowed, the skull amulet sparked, and her skin shimmered with magic.
Her pale skin looked sunburnt from the proximity of the corruption.
I stared at her in shock as she broke the silence, "A hello would be nice."
Meredeath patted herself, as though checking to make sure she was all there. She looked stunning, the sun reflecting on her teal hair. Green eyes sparkling under her dark eyeliner. The fishnet bracers and leggings were whole, without a snag. Even the new pinkish tan looked good.
The corrupt guardian struggled next to us, but I was so grateful Meredeath was whole, the whole world melted away.
"You're alive?" I asked it like a question, even though the answer was standing right in front of me. All the emotion I’d boxed up in the dungeon threatened to spill out. She was alive, and I hadn’t completely failed her.
The bear roared, trying to stand up on its hind legs, and it slammed its back into the top of the arch. Dust choked the air. We didn’t have long.
"Well, I am for a few more minutes," Meredeath said, taking a step back from the former guardian. “I survived the Dunglord for the second time only to get run over by an undead taxidermy? What the hell, Cole?”
I looked over to Malyc for help. He was a senior administrator for the Adventurer's Guild after all. The mighty guild representative was running away from us. He disappeared into the only modern building on the ridge, a small shack used to house any attending guild representatives. It wouldn’t last three seconds against the bear.
Shrugging, I said, “Welcome to [Your Mom’s Party]?” I gave her my best cheesy grin. She rolled her eyes at me. “Personally, I’m choosing to blame Richard.”
You would, you cretin. See if I jump in front of the next deathblow for you.
Meredeath raised an eyebrow, “His mood’s improved, I see.” Looked like she could still hear him.
The guardian shook, trying to dislodge itself. The magic runes on the arch flared as though trying to hold the gate together. Time was running short.
“We’ve got a plan. Sort of.” Her eyes narrowed, and I gave an apologetic wave at the rest of the party. Leo and Ched looked like two marble heroes, all muscle and poise, standing guard over Tandy’s tree. She was two-thirds of the way up in a fir, fiddling with some rope.
“What about you?” Her voice had a steely quality, as though if the bear dared to mess with me, there would be consequences from her.
“I’m fine. The corrupted guardian is attached to me. We’ve got a plan, but the plan won’t work if I’m worried about you.”
“If the plan doesn’t work, we’re going to have words,” she threatened with a grin. We both knew if the plan didn’t work, it was doubtful any of us would be alive to talk. Meredeath threw one last comment over her shoulder as she started walking toward the rest of the party. “And Cole? We really need to figure out this odd attachment you have to strange creatures."
I started to protest. They were attached to me! But she took off before I could spit out my argument.
I turned back to the bear, feeling good for the first time in the fight. Meredeath was back. The team was whole. We even had a pan-wielding Ched on our side; things were looking better than ever.
If Leo hadn’t been able to do much damage with his axe, maybe the key was blunt damage? I looked at my trusty hammer and decided it was worth a try.
Winding up, I swung, shouting my skill, “[Hammer Time]!” Instead of delivering the expected three rapid strikes, my skill fizzled, providing a dull spank to the meaty rear end of the beast.
A notification was triggered.
[Skill Failure: [Smith] skill [Hammer Time] delivers a triple hit to a metal medium. The target does not meet the criteria. Cooldown is tripled for skill failure. You have [1 hour] before [Hammer Time] is available.]
“Spank it harder!” Leo yelled, laughing from across the ridge. No failure goes unpunished in [Your Mom’s Party].
The bear wasn’t metal all the way through, damn it.
Why couldn’t my skills work when I needed them to?
The creature turned its head, one baleful eye focused on me. With renewed vigor fueled by what I suspected might be indignation, it thrashed at the gate trying to get unstuck.
I backed away as I saw the arch begin to pull up from its foundation.
"Tandy, hurry up!" I called and started running down the stairs toward my friends.
Tandy looked at me, frowning. Her hands looked like she was playing an elaborate game of cat's cradle. Knowing Tandy, this was a good sign. It meant she'd had an idea and was thinking it through. Her crazy plans tended to work.
The bad news bear, in this instance, was that our corrupted guardian would be free and headed toward me before she was ready. I scanned the countryside, noting Richard slowly gliding towards Tandy. He was such a great help.
I took off, deciding a lap around the lake for my health would be worthwhile. I was counting on the bear's continuing rage at me. Why were they always focused on me? I needed to develop some defensive skills, such as healing or at least running, if 'object of ire' was going to be my role on the team. The path down to the lake was steep, and I slowed my descent as my feet threatened to send me face-first down the incline. Roots and loose rock littered the path.
The lake was glacier-fed, shallow, and cold. It looked serene until a bellow and crack sent ripples through the still water. I glanced back to see that my foe had finally broken free from the portal arch as it shattered in an explosion of rock and green magic.
Blinded for a second, I hoped the explosion took care of the twisted guardian.
My hopes sank as the dust cloud took on the angry pink glow of the bear. A gust of wind cleared the air, revealing the bear standing calmly on its hind legs, snout sniffing as though trying to find my scent.
The beast’s lip curled in a guttural snarl as its eye focused on me. Prey identified, the beast took off. Its claws tore at the ground, kicking up dust and debris.
If it caught me, I was dead.
At least it wasn't going after Tandy.
Clipping my hammer, I took off, realizing I hadn’t gained nearly a sufficient distance from the monster. I wasn’t sure there was a safe place in the entire realm from the hate in its face.
The ground was soggy, overgrown with reeds that bounced as I circled to the far side of the lake. Water trickled under the last bit of seasonal glacier that clung to the shadowed side of the bowl. I slid to a halt, my boots digging into the loose ice crystals as I turned to look.
The corrupted guardian was flying down the ravine in perfect unison with the terrain. It reached the edge of the lake in record time, and stared at me. This was the moment of decision: did it go around the right side of the lake, closer to the cliff edge, or to the left, where ice still clung to the edges and the ground gave way into a bog?
The bear whuffed, its hot breath visible in the cool mountain air. I was ready to sprint, and my foe realized it.
Every breath, every second, was one more moment Tandy had to get set.
I made as though I was going to run to the right, along the cliff edge and the outflow of the lake. As the bear jerked in that direction, I reversed as though I was going to run towards the bog. It was the most ridiculous fake-out for a game of tag. Except the player who was 'it' was going to rip my throat out if it caught me.
Finally, the predator made up its mind, and it started wading out into the lake. I hadn't even considered this a valid choice, as it moved slowly, as though stalking me from the water.
I evaluated my two options.
I started edging towards the cliffside. The beast's trajectory changed to cut off my escape. I hesitated a moment too long, and the corrupted guardian bounded forward in the water, splashing in my direction. Two more leaps and it'd be on me.
I bolted in pure panic. No plan. Just instincts and a silent prayer to the Everbear.
I danced along the cliffside, hopping from boulder to boulder. One slip meant a one-way trip down the waterfall into the valley below. My ankle throbbed as I leapt with the bear breathing down my neck.
I dove under a paw, landing hard. The bear, off-balance from the missed swipe, teetered on the cliff’s edge.
I grabbed my hammer, sensing an opportunity.
Swinging, I didn’t attempt a skill after the last failure. A meaty smack fulfilled Leo’s earlier wish.
The bear's head whipped around. My hit hadn't moved it an inch. The bear scrambled on the edge of the cliff, slowly regaining its footing. Angry pink magic pulsed through the rips in its hide. In between pulses, I could see through the ribcage, mechanical whirls fueled by a sickly red stain inked along the runes that powered the creature.
The beast pivoted, ready to finish me off. I closed my eyes, resigned.
The final blow never came. Instead, a wet squelch sounded as the rock the bear stood on gave way. It tumbled backwards, claws flailing.
Not waiting, I turned and ran. I had gained seconds, and I wasn’t going to waste them. No part of me believed it was over.
One heartbeat passed. Then two.
I was still alive. A glance confirmed that the undead beast was fighting for purchase on the cliffside. It wasn't down, but I might have enough time to make it to Tandy.
Dignity forgotten, I scrambled up the path on all fours. A triumphant bellow echoed, I’d run out of time. My heart pounded, counting down the seconds I had left. I had to move.
Once I crested the bowl, a welcome sight greeted me. Tandy and Leo waved me frantically towards them in the tree line.
The new trap was ready. All I had to do was survive the last twenty yards. My lungs wheezed, my legs burned.
Run, you fool!
I was running. Five yards.
I could see Richard sunbathing on a rock between me and Tandy’s trap.
Four yards.
His tentacles waved in the sun, slime glistening.
My heart pumped in my ears.
Tandy was shouting.
A wet paw hit the back of my pack, sending me sprawling forward. My face ate gravel as I rolled towards my target.
Twisting, I looked up. The bear stood before me. Fate. Doom. The end.
At least I was an [Adventurer]?
Do I have to do everything?
Richard's whiny voice broke through my terror.
You literally have one job: don’t die. And you’re terrible at it.
The system banished Richard and, by consequence, me from the library abruptly. My heart panged in grief with the knowledge-filled stacks evaporating before my eyes as I was violently sucked into a portal.
Before I could worry, we were both ejected in a tumble from the gate on Bear Ridge.
Richard squeaked as he hit the rocky ground, rolling as he slid like a sea cucumber in the tide. I staggered out. My boots were slipping on the hard rock slab. My stomach lurched with portal sickness, and I threw up.
You've got to find a better way of greeting me.
It wasn't like I'd aimed for Richard. Projectile vomit just happens.
Richard slithered out of my blast zone, glowing yellow with his [Clean] skill as the evidence of my sin melted away.
Now that my stomach was satisfied, I looked around to ascertain how much time had passed.
The ruins were as I remembered, granite stairs outlined by the stone ribs of buildings. Only low stone outlines remained where buildings once stood. This time, however, a green fog snaked out of the portal, shrouding the city in ominous shadows.
The hair on the back of my neck bristled as I saw Leo and Ched standing next to each other, weapons brandished. Leo's pink sweater flapped in the wind. It was ripped in a dozen places with blood oozing into the fabric. Ched wasn't much better. He held a frying pan and a paring knife. Blood dripped down his arm.
Before them was an enormous, magic-infused mechanical bear. It glowed a malevolent pink. Radiating rage and hunger, the bear’s head turned to regard me.
It was one of the infamous Guardians of the Wall. 'Was' is the crucial signifier. The once glorious guardian, whose heart-forged bell comforted me as a child, stood before me, rank with corruption. Every picture of the bears painted them in blues and greens, the colors of magic.
The bear foamed at the mouth like a rabid fox. The heart of the guardians, the wide bell that sounded out warnings across the Ursine Wall, sat frozen. It was laced in a filament of rust and magical decay, bound deep in the metal rib cage of the beast.
It smelled of undeath. Muscle and fur had been replaced by meat and bones. Jagged fusions of biological and mechanical parts screamed of abomination.
This bear was not defending anyone from corruption. It was death incarnate.
Metal claws eight inches long dripped red.
Frozen, I stared at the amalgamation of death and horror. A nightmare incarnate.
It roared, hot, fetid breath filling the glade. It stunk of carrion rotting in the sun.
It’s malice floated in the air. Flashes infiltrated my mind: Fish floating dead on a poisoned lake and flowers snapping closed over bees. I shivered at the creeping hatred of humans and life.
I reached for my sturdy hammer. The cold iron of its head was reassuring in my hand as I unclipped it. My hands found the leather-wrapped handle.
Ominous red eyes glowed with intelligence. Its jaw held together with tenuous bands of muscle.
"What did you guys do? I was only gone for five minutes." I asked, scooping Richard up as I neatly sidestepped the contents of my stomach.
Notifications blinked in my mind, but I dared not break eye contact with our foe.
"Glad you finally decided to join us. Is Meredeath behind you?" Leo coughed. He was panting, as though they'd been fighting for hours. How long had it been?
"Why isn't it charging at us yet?" I slowly stepped forward, joining them. “Meredeath is dead.”
She’d died protecting Tandy. I hadn’t had time to think about it, to feel it.
“Oh,” Leo said, the syllable low and sad. My eyes on the monstrosity in front of me, I wished I had the luxury to mourn our friend.
Leo looked even worse close up. A massive bruise was forming over the left side of his face. Ched, on the other hand, looked terrified. His hand shook as he held the frying pan. He'd taken several hits, his leather armor in tatters.
"It doesn't seem to want to attack, as long as we face it," Leo murmured out of the corner of his mouth. "Make yourself big, like I am with my axe, and whatever you do, don't look away."
I squared off against the corrupt guardian, trying to hold its gaze. Pink foam oozed out of its mouth as it watched us. Red eyes shifted back and forth between the three of us, as though trying to assess who was the weakest and strongest.
"Where's Tandy?" I squinted. Was the blood on its claw Tandy's? And the pink tint around its mouth?
Rage and panic warred as I took a step toward the beast. She couldn’t be dead. I began bargaining with every god I could name.
I scanned the ruins and countryside, searching for Tandy. She had to be here, alive.
This was a mistake.
The beast had found the weakest target and charged me with a roar.
"Cole, run!" Leo shouted, pushing me as he stepped forward.
I turned heel and ran. The ruins surrounding us were old. Worn granite foundations, with foot-tall remnants of walls. I fell down the crumbling stairs and started running through the blueprint of the ancient city.
I ran, tripping over the ridge of a wall remnant. The bear had barreled between Leo and Ched, knocking them both aside as it focused on me. Its hot breath spurred me on.
Hurdling a half wall, I stumbled, landing awkwardly on a foot. My ankle ached, but I had no time to baby it.
Moments later, the corrupt monster barreled through the wall. Rock and debris peppered my back as I kept running.
Legs pumping, my feet slapped hard on the granite as I focused on the tree line thirty yards away. I took another obstacle, the base of a broken pillar, and leapt forward, landing at a sprint. The bear ran through anything in its way.
Run faster!
"Fine words, coming from a slug." I gasped, hurdling another half wall.
Richard bit my ear. I stumbled as he tugged.
To the right, you overgrown monkey!
He pulled at my earlobe like an overcorrecting auntie.
To the right sat short tufts of alpine grass. A small deer track wound down to the alpine lake. Crystal clear water reflected pillowy clouds and a sunny day.
I followed Richard's suggestion. If I were going to die, at least he couldn't claim that I hadn't followed his directions.
I ran. No time for questions.
Bear claws scraped against rock behind me. It left deep furrows in the rocks with each heavy foot.
The warning bell I'd taken comfort in my whole life rang dissonantly as the former guardian chased me.
Duck! Richard screamed in my mind.
I dived forward, as the snap of teeth filled the space formerly occupied by my head. The bear stumbled as it missed.
I somersaulted, landing back on my feet.
Looking ahead, I saw what Richard had seen. A brief glimpse of auburn hair.
Tandy sat halfway up a tree. From her perch, I could see the faint glint of a spider web crossing the path.
Except it wasn't a spider’s web, it was Tandy’s. She'd set a version of our ‘goblin’ traps we'd made as kids.
Renewed with hope, my legs pumped harder, knowing they had to get a little further. Sprinting, I gained enough ground to dive between the two large aspens hulking next to the path.
I ducked through, thanking the Everbear for Tandy. As I ducked below the trap, her filament almost invisible in the sun, the bear slammed into the webbing. Headfirst, it shook the trees as it roared. Tandy whooped, scrambling down from her spot to join me.
The guardian pawed at the filament, it’s eyes boiled in rage as it tried to detangle itself.
It staggered back on its haunches. The fur on its face pulled back grotesquely. One of its mechanical eyes bulged out of the socket, no longer growing. The pink magic fueling its rage pulsed angrily as the beast shook its head.
It'd taken a hit, but a pulse of magic leaked through the scraps of fur holding it together. The bear suddenly grew larger.
Leo appeared almost out of thin air, the green fog enshrouding us hiding even him. His axe whistled as he sliced down. The enchanted weapon bounced off the bear's back, doing minimal damage.
The bear expanded again. I realized it was no longer trapped in Tandy’s webbing, it was simply triggering some skill. It’s teeth elongated, as the bear’s skull grew. This just wasn’t fair.
"We need to get into the forest. I can set more [Invisible Thread]," Tandy said, pulling at my hand.
"Go," I pushed her behind me. "I'll get Leo."
The corrupted guardian turned, bell clanging loudly as it fixed an eye on us. It stood, almost twice its initial height. Its barrelled chest was now broader than the portal itself. The bear had doubled in size, and its roar rattled my bones.
Hatred boiled in its gaze. I'd never felt such concentrated emotion. It hated me more than my ex-girlfriend. More than Tandy’s grandmother, who thought I was a bad influence. It hated with an intellect that stripped my humanity from me.
The beast completely ignored Ched and Leo. They banged on its sides inconsequentially, irritable flies to be dealt with later. I was its mortal enemy for some unknown reason.
I fell back, my feet slipping on the loose shale of the hillside.
The bear hit Tandy's trap again, rage blinding it to logic. I turned, grabbing at a juniper to pull myself back up.
My hammer seemed a pitiful weapon next to the bear’s gnashing teeth.
Throw me at it!
I ignored my slug as I tore across the clearing. Tandy needed time to get another trap set, so I took a wide arc, trying to lead the bear away.
My breath heavy, I responded to Richard, "You can't do anything to a nine-foot-tall, corrupt bear!"
You underestimate me.
Fuck it. I turned and grabbed Richard by the tail. With a grunt, I hurled him like an overripe banana into a nightmare.
I didn’t even bother looking to see if I hit. If the idiot were immortal, he'd live. I kept running.
You missed! Can't you do anything right?
Thankfully, his voice faded as the distance between us increased.
The ruins were back in sight. Tandy had scaled another tree and was waving her hands in the air. She still wasn’t ready. Leo had been ineffectual, and Ched was a wallflower. It was up to me to stall for time.
Malyc stood before the gate, frozen. He was utterly committed to the magic of the portal. The portal’s magic glowed green, pulsing with the fog that billowed through the gateway’s base.
A flash entered my head, of me sending the guardian into the [Trial Dungeon]. It might just work.
I bee-lined for the arch and Malyc. I didn’t know why the man kept it open, but this may be my chance.
My feet took the stairs two at a time. Breath came in large gasps. I just had to get it there. My ankle ached, swollen, but I didn’t let it stop me. I was almost there.
The heat of the bear’s hate whipped me forward. I imagined the foaming, bloodstained drool dripping on me as its mouth closed over my body. I wasn't dead yet.
I sprinted towards Malyc. His eyes were wide, but he kept the portal key linked to the arch. The portal had turned a liquid green-silver that reflected the peaceful sky.
As I got closer, I could see my reflection. Did I look that afraid?
Then the bear came into focus. Teeth snarling at my reflection, at me. My back itched.
Four yards, three. Air came in gasps as I skid to a stop, watching the mechanical horror leap through the air. Its chest puffed out, as though bloated on magic.
I should have been afraid, but I wasn't. My legs poised to roll.
I jumped sideways. The portal shimmered.
Meredeath's weary visage began forming as she materialized on our side of the portal. Red lips, pale skin, winged eyes. Her skull amulet sat between the leather chest plates.
Oh shit.
The reflection of the bear towered in the reflection behind her.
She was alive!
But oh so dead. Time froze as I dived; my last glimpse was horror on my friend's face.
The three of us floated in the incorporeal ether of the portal. Tandy and Leo were sucked forward to an exit gate, but I was drawn in a different direction. Richard’s thread tugged me somewhere else.
With no fanfare, I appeared tucked behind a large bookcase, an unwilling audience to an argument.
I won! Richard mentally shouted as he sat on a crumbling marble bookstand.
A glowing orb spun before him. The blue orb spun faster with tinges of red, seemingly annoyed at Richard. I could sympathize.
I floated, tucked behind shelves in the oldest library I'd ever seen. Rows upon rows of books and scrolls, all covered in an eon of dust.
[You cheated.]
I soundlessly gasped in my incorporeal form. The orb was the system?
I cheated?! Richard's voice raised in fake outrage, Me?! You're the one who pulled me out of my team's [Trial Dungeon] run as they attempted to take on an overpowered boss. You have no right to accuse me of cheating.
[A compromise. You stay here. Help in holding the Ursine Wall. Your [Cole Thornfield] and his friends get [Adventurer] status.]
How is that a compromise? My team gets what they earned, and I'm stuck here with you? I notice you didn't mention Meredeath either. No deal. What do you give up in that 'compromise'? Richard shook his tentacles.
Look around you, idiot. I can't stall it forever. Richard's voice was the smallest earworm, meant only for me.
I jumped. Richard knew I was here. I started to look around.
The library was something hard to conceive. Row upon row of shelves filled with books took up more space than probably all of Woodsten. Giant columns held up fragile arches made of marble. The stone had medal filagree twining along the joints in intricate weaves. Even in my non-physical state, I could see that they thrummed with power.
The roof was full of holes where parts of the framework had fallen in from age, from attack. I could see the holes still covered by a glimmering magical shield that flashed every few moments as though defending against an attack.
Looking at the shelves near me, I started to look at the books.
Many were in languages I didn't understand. In letters I'd never seen before.
[What do you propose?]
The system's voice boomed in the library. Much louder than the mundane notifications I received in my everyday life.
I moved along the shelves quickly, floating along the ground. Incorporeal had advantages, as I didn't disturb the dust.
Richard was giving some reply I couldn't hear, but I finally reached a section I could read.
Basic Magical Weaves, The Anatomy of Dragons, Methodologies for Removing Corruption, A Proposed System for Progression, Magic for Magi, Magic for Warriors, A Merit Proposal for Division of Power.
The list went on, and my research was interrupted by the system's booming reply.
[Absolutely not. Do you know how much power that would take? The barrier would be down within a month!]
Richard was muttering some response. I didn't know what he wanted me to see.
I tried to pull out a book, but my hand passed right through, which was probably good. I wasn't sure these tomes would survive getting pulled out of their centuries-long resting place.
A mental tug pulled me on. There was something here I needed to see.
Desks were set up against the far wall. Well away from the spinning orb that controlled my world. I went to investigate them. The desks were probably once the height of opulence. The fact that they were even standing was a testament to their original quality.
Now, however, they looked wormy and fragile. Two, I could see, were collapsed under their weight. The other eight against this inner wall looked a breath away from joining their kin. One of the desks, however, was not only the most stable-looking but also had two books open on top of it.
One of the books had an obvious slug-induced slime trail on it.
On Immortality and Death by Magus Reaver.
Everything in me burned to turn the page. If I could just, my hand passed straight through the pages. The book was open to just the title page. My hand passed uselessly through the page over and over. Not even Richard's slime stuck to my fingers.
A spark went off in my head. I triggered [Minor Slime Manipulation], willing the slime to turn the page over.
It shifted, and the pages shifted in a goopy slurp that would cause most librarians to cry.
There are seven classifications that contain the skill [Immortality]. Please see the attending chapters for details on each:
Chapter 1: Veil Walker
Chapter 2: Lich
Chapter 3: Remnant
Chapter 4: Ascendant
Chapter 5: Flicker
Chapter 6: Fanged Banana Slugs
Chapter 7: Cursed
What the hell? Fanged Banana Slugs were an Immortal class? The pages were handwritten. This one had a significant amount of slime on it. I wondered if Richard had forged it.
Before flipping to Chapter 6, I read the rest of the page.
Equally, four classifications contain the skill [Manipulate Death], and three that contain the skill [Dodge Death]. All of these classes and skills are closely related to [Immortality] and thus a subject of this book:
Chapter 8: Hollow Heart
Chapter 9: Scythe
Chapter 10: Last Vestige
Chapter 11: Death Warden
Chapter 12: Death Dodger
Chapter 13: Slip Soul
Chapter 14: Oathless
I flipped the page, eager to learn about [Immortality], dealing death, or the truth about fanged banana slugs.
The pages flipped in a slurp of slime. My shaky control over [Minor Slime Manipulation] caused a chunk of pages to stick together.
Chapter 12: Death Dodger
Oh for fuck's sake. The pages wouldn't turn to any other chapter, no matter how hard I tried. Resigned, I started reading.
Death Dodger is unique in the classification of powers. Initially theorized, it has only been attempted by a few willing to admit, and even fewer have professed attaining a deep understanding of the classifications. This book has few details due to these limitations.
I rolled my ghostly eyes. Of course, it doesn't have any helpful information on the class.
Those who attain Dead Dodger generally stumble upon their greatness. These individuals are slippery in history's annals, not cheating death through force but through the subtle manipulation of events. They sit in the shadows, testing system integrity, slipping through loopholes, and challenging the odds of fate.
The most famous to pursue the Death Dodger power classification was Leara Flamecraft. While known primarily for her mastery of flamecraft, Leara alternatively pursued the higher levels of death magic. It is rumored that she attained high levels due to her successful pursuit of her primary class. It is well known that flamecraft is not for the weak of heart.
Individuals in this power classification can attain a mastery of death, becoming inappropriately immortal through conventional and magical means. Variations of power enable odd acts of salvation, healing, evasion, trickery, and paradigm-shifting leaps in logic. Beware, individuals who attain this classification can be power brokers and breakers.
The text continued on the next page, but no effort could make it flip.
I didn't know what to think of this. Richard attained knowledge. Was he suggesting that he was a [Death Dodger]? Or that I should become one? Was this an elaborate prank that showed me that [Fanged Banana Slugs] were listed under [Immortality]?
No joke was above my little slug.
The other book, A Discussion on Power Dynamics, presented an argument for power management, establishing a system to distribute skills and control magical classes. I leaned in.
This author does not intend to take a side in the Great Debate, but to describe a system in which power is shared by merit and equality if it is decided that such a system is necessary to protect the realm.
First, the governing body will establish those skills and classes with a mundane quality. Those progression markers in which the peasants shall excel are insignificant to the greater struggle and are unlikely to cause further imbalance to the Great Scale. These classes and skills shall be open to all, and will breed a satisfaction in the populace that will do better than any debate at squashing ambition.
For those that seek greater power, the [Trials of a Hero] should suffice in weeding out the rubbish…
I continued scanning the text as a notification triggered.
[Quest Granted: [Trials of a Hero: Heart]
Congratulations on taking the first step to higher power. Enter the Trial at the Library of Alta. Beware, this trial is not for the faint of heart. Completing this trial will grant you access to the second of three Trials of a Hero and the class [Provisional Hero]. Failing the trial may result in death. No time limit given for this quest.]
Great, another insurmountable trial just as I finished the first one. At least this one didn’t have a time limit. The last line on the page was a head-scratcher.
These trials will ensure that magic, true power, is kept safe for those who will use it wisely.
I had never heard of the Library of Alta. My mind spun at the idea of ancient and powerful classes and skills. The age before, when legends walked and some of the greatest wonders were built.
[It is settled. You are making a mistake, but my opinion has never stopped you.]
The system’s shouting interrupted my reading. This time, Richard's voice was louder, fuller. A mental echo reached my ears.
I have faith in my team. They are the key we've been lacking. They will stand against the tide, and it will break.
The system laughed. Dust flew up as the library vibrated.
[You have become so small with small ideas. I will let you go only because I have realized you are no longer worthy. The years have eroded your power.]
The years have eroded your soul! Richard shouted back, throwing his mental weight into the argument.
[I bind you to them. The wall cracks. Corruption has taken a Guardian. If your team has such promise, they will have no problem with this challenge.]
A system message appeared in my notifications:
[Quest Granted: [Clean the Corruption]
The great barrier is failing. A Guardian of the Ursine Wall has been corrupted. Defeat the [Corrupted Guardian]. Reward: [Adventurer] specific [Enchanted Item].]
And Meredeath?
[[Meredith Steele] is not part of this bargain.] The system finally said. [But she is not yet claimed.]
I stabbed the Golgothan hard in the belly. Too hard. To my horror, I watched my hand and forearm sink into the creature. The cloth wrapped around my face blocked out most of the smell, but I couldn't block out the feeling of my hand being coated in sludge.
I waited for retribution, crouched over, and stuck. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the appendage coming. Springing to the side as it hit, I forced my body to go limp. In a flash, half of my health bar vanished. Smacked into the wall of the cavern, sliding down into a heap. Face down.
"You killed Cole!!" Meredeath screamed, charging at the beast. It was an impressive yell. I almost believed she cared about me. If things were going as planned, Leo'd be right behind her, drawing his share of the demon's attention.
I'd carefully fallen so my arm cradled my head, keeping it out of the muck coating the floor. I tried not to breathe, as my heart thumped loudly in my veins.
Counting silently, I imagined the team performing their pre-planned actions.
It didn't seem like the boss knew I was still alive. Thank the Ever Bear. Prone and vulnerable like this, it'd have taken one geyser, one aimed hit, to finish me off.
The fight was going better than last time. Meredeath and Leo were grunting as they knocked health off the demon.
"Watch out, short-range breath attack!" Tandy shouted. I could hear the creature inhale. Fear lodged in my chest. This was the weakest part of our plan. This area attack would kill me if they hadn't drawn it far enough away.
I could hear Leo and Meredeath increase their hits, trying to push it further away. They weren't sure they'd gotten it far enough away from me. Each step they took was difficult due to the swampy septic runoff pulling at their feet.
The creature exhaled through orifices scattered throughout its body. A thick, noxious yellow gas emitted from the holes like splattering geysers filled with rotten eggs. A sulfurous miasma enveloped anyone within ten feet of the beast.
Thankfully, it wasn't close enough to decrease my health. However, the smell made my nose twitch. I hadn't practiced my death feint for ten minutes for nothing. I squeezed my watering eyes shut, willing myself not to cough, move, or react. I waited for the end...
... that didn't come.
I kept my attention on my health bar, which had slowly increased.
Leo let loose a battle cry, and I heard a thunk as the back end of his axe struck. Gloop rained down from the ceiling. I cringed as two hit me, taking off five more points of damage.
"Leo, look out!" Tandy yelled as the Golgothan let loose a battle cry of its own. A sickening thwack sent Leo careening towards me. As his staggered footsteps got louder, I braced. He knocked into me, causing my 'dead' body to roll. I suppressed a groan. My job of pretending to be dead just got infinitely more complicated, as my face rolled towards the fight.
Leo scrambled to get up. Tandy threw a woven net at the monster. The net landed on the beast's head.
"[Tighten the Weave]! Nothing happened. "Oh, for the love of wool, [Tighten the Weave]!" she roared. The net sat, unimpressively, on the Golgothan's face. Tandy let loose another string of invective insults.
Meredeath sprang into action before the monster targeted Tandy. Her hands shifted into claws as she leaped forward, slashing rapidly. Clods of Golgothan flew. Leo elbowed me in the gut, slipping as he tried to stand up. He was a bit woozy from the last hit.
The Golgothan was missing an arm. Leo's hit had been massive. The creature looked down at Meredeath's tiny frame and was unimpressed. It slammed down the remaining arm on her head. Her amulet glowed red, absorbing the damage. She staggered back.
The boss inhaled. I closed my eyes, knowing what was next. It was going to activate another breath attack. This time, I was too close.
Leo realized it too, and he charged, ramming the creature in the gut. The hit worked, expelling the deadly gas out of its mouth in one whoosh. Leo and Meredeath were covered, but the toxicity stayed localized. Tandy and I were still safe.
Leo bent down, coughing, as Meredeath used him to pull herself up. Her amulet glowed an ominous red as it absorbed more damage. She looked pale in the red light. With the beast’s attention elsewhere, I blinked to clear my eye. Had her makeup changed? I couldn't tell if it'd gotten smudged, but it looked like dark streaks bled from her eyes. She looked like vengeance incarnate, ready to drag the Golgothan back to hell.
The shit demon slowly recompiled, using its mass to reform appendages and seal gaping holes. This time, it stood bulky but much smaller. Only slightly larger than Leo. If I had to guess, they'd taken off more than half of its health. The creature had deep-set eyes, pinpoints of red sunken in a featureless face.
The eyes started to glow.
Oh shit. This was the moment that wiped out the team last time. The mysterious skill that sliced Leo and Meredeath cleanly in half.
Tandy was distracted, still trying to trigger her weave skill. I willed her to pay attention. To look up and realize what was going on. She looked down at her training cloth, trying to troubleshoot [Tighten the Weave]. Look up!!
Leo must have heard my telepathic urging, because he'd finally cleared his throat and realized what was happening.
"Tandy!" he roared, moving towards the demon. The mud pulled at his feet. Leo wouldn't make it.
The monster opened its mouth, and a thin stream of water shot straight for Tandy. Our adventure was over before it even began.
Suddenly, Meredeath was there. She came out of nowhere, jumping in front of the beam. I watched the shock and acceptance cross her face. The amulet glowed a deep red as the attack hit. Then it flickered and snuffed out.
The liquid stream etched through the midsection of Meredeath's body. She fell to the floor, her dull amulet sinking into the slop. Her bisected body sat for a moment as her health bottomed out. Then she shimmered and disappeared.
[Your [Party Member] Meredith Steele is [Dead].]
I didn’t see if it hit Tandy, but the lack of death notification was telling.
Meredeath was gone.
We'd failed. I replayed Meredeath telling me this was her final attempt, this was it.
And she'd lost. She'd gambled on us. On our misfit trio. And we'd let her down.
The Golgothan didn't give a shit for our tragedy. The creature swung its head around, the cutting stream of liquid arcing across the room, headed straight for Leo. I was safely below the cutting zone, and it still wasn't aware of me.
Leo ducked the initial spray and then ran. Dodging and ducking as the demon tried to target him. The attack must have had a time limit, as the arc of sludge fell slowly. The monster looked deflated even further. Sensing his moment, Leo sprang up and charged. His axe, however, had been left sitting next to my body. A casualty he'd dropped as he tried to stay out of the death zone of the slicing attack.
Leo arrived at the base of the Golgothan staring it down eye to shit covered eye, and was weaponless. Without flinching, he balled his fist and punched the creature in the face. His hand hit with a thunderous smack, sinking into the creature's chin.
Leo's fist was mired in the creature's face.
"What the hell?" Leo tried pulling it out, but anything he tried to use as leverage also got stuck. In moments, his hands and one foot were glued to the creature as it used some unseen skill.
With glee, the Golgothan picked Leo up and ran at the wall. It slammed Leo into the cavern wall. Feces splattered everywhere.
I started to move. My hand reached for the enchanted axe. It peeled itself off Leo, who had been physically glued in place. He'd been effectively trapped. The monster stood over Leo's helpless form, gloating.
Thankfully, its back was still turned to me.
I gripped the axe in both hands. It felt right, like my hammer in the forge. My muscles tensed. I almost felt warm, as if I were working in front of a fire, hitting strike after strike to hammer metal into shape. I raised my axe/hammer. It was my turn.
The Gogothan turned, hearing my squishy footsteps. I raised the axe and swung. In the last second, I twisted the blade instinctively, triggering [Pound]. My muscles bulged as the axe came down.
Imagine the head of the demon as the flat surface of a nail. A nail I was going to strike perfectly. I yelled, "This is for MEREDEATH!” Then, as the axe whistled, coming down like a hammer, I shouted my skill, “[Nailed It]!"
As Meredeath said, it hit like a freight train. Slamming with the might of two skills and the weapon enchantment. The Golgothan ripped in two from forehead to crotch. It rained shit.
My hands shook as I was filled with awe. The axe glowed with power. I did this.
Stepping over the remnants of the boss, I pelted what was left of it with some rapid-fire strikes.
The job finished, I stood over the Golgothan's ruined body. The axe hummed in my hands. It was dead. I avenged Meredeath. We'd won, but it tasted like shit.
[Dunglord defeated. You have earned experience. All experience and rewards are deferred until the exit of the [Trial Dungeon] by all party members.]
"Cole, you killed it. Cole, you okay? Put down my axe, buddy, and help get me off this wall." Leo's voice cut through the fog.
I turned to him, my forearm still flexed. His face flashed a moment of awe. I drank the moment in. I'd never caught him admiring something I'd done. Shaking my head, I stepped towards him, only to find his expression changing quickly to worry.
I looked down, and I was holding an... axe? Wasn't it a hammer? I was covered in Dunglord. Dropping the axe, I focused on Leo. His hair plastered to his face, beard streaked with brown muck.
I grinned, "You look like shit."
"Haha, very funny. Now help me get down." I pulled at his hand and his arm. My boots slid in the sludge as I tried to get leverage.
"Let me help," Tandy's voice cut through my mechanical fog. I surveyed the chamber, and there she was. Alive.
Leo pulled free, one slimy appendage at a time.
"I can't believe we won," Tandy said, scraping shit off her hands.
"But we didn't, Meredeath died." The plain statement sliced through her like the Golgothan's [Cornered Rat] attack. It was harsh, but I couldn’t feel good about our victory. "And I still don't know where Richard is."
We stood there silently for a second. Tandy stood with slumped shoulders in guilt, while Leo wiped at his eyes, smearing more ‘mud’ across his face.
The cavern shook, not giving us any more time to grieve. Whatever was next, none of us wanted to find out in the dungeon's colon. Walls quivering, we walked towards the next chamber.
Leo slipped, his foot coming free of its boot. He kept going. The cavern was starting to fill with a noxious gas. Turning the last corner, the final cavern was small in comparison. A wall had opened to reveal an exit portal. Another rumble rocked the room.
"What's going to happen next?" Leo asked, pulling us up at the last moment.
I shrugged, thinking about our missing companions, "Does it matter?"
Tandy slapped me on the back, drawing my eyes to hers, "Of course it matters."
I looked at my shit coated friends. Leo was no longer a blond, covered head to toe in crap. He stood slouched sideways with one shoe missing, holding his double-bladed axe. Tandy stood next to him, half of her face smeared in goop. Her braids were matted down. Pack clutched resolutely, her brown eyes had a steely glint.
Whatever came next, we would do it together.
As I opened my mouth to give a platitude, the dungeon undulated. Tandy clutched at our arms as we stumbled through the portal together.
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Meredeath gave me a flat stare, "Calm down, he'll join us in a bit. Unless you got a system notification that he died?"
I shook my head.
"It'll just take him some time to get back to us." She wasn't here for my panic. Bags under her eyes belied the perfectly crafted makeup. She looked like she'd entered the dungeon a decade ago.
He's not dead. I said the words to myself. The system hadn't given us a death notice, but the bond felt cold. Lifeless, like something vital was missing from the air. What if he stayed gone?
My heart spasmed. Not for the first time, I had to admit I was getting attached to the jerk.
As though sensing my heartache, a warm thrum twanged through our bond. Richard was alive, but busy. And a little annoyed at my doubts.
"Okay, but did you read the death notifications?" Leo asked with a grin, "Meredith?" Leo was full of energy, which the rest of us were missing.
"It was a system error. Look at our Party interface." She shrugged off the comment. The [Party] interface had her listed as Meredeath. Leo's grin dropped as he confirmed as well. I hadn’t heard of that type of error before, but Leo and I could intimately attest to the system’s brokenness.
"So, how'd it chop the two of you in half?" Tandy brought everyone back to the conversation at hand.
"It sliced through us with a high-speed torrent of sewage. Did you see its eyes glow? I didn’t even know it had eyes." Leo addressed Meredeath, the only person in the room who had an inkling of what he was talking about. However, I was starting to get a clue.
Meredeath propped herself up against a tooth, using it as a backrest. She shook her head, "Yeah, that was creepy as hell. The stream was thin but powerful. I'm guessing it has some emergency [Cornered Rat] skill when it takes significant damage."
Meredeath’s words seemed to inflame Leo, rather than calm him down, "We almost had it! I could see its death coming! I just needed one more strike, and it would have been down!"
"Woah, you guys almost killed it?" I was impressed. I hadn't lasted more than a couple of minutes. They’d almost taken it down. Impressive. "What was your trick? Last I saw, your axe stuck to the creature, and my hammer did nothing to it."
Meredeath waved at Leo to answer, "I figured it out. My slices weren't working. Either it did minimal damage or it'd suck my axe in and I'd be stuck and open to a counterstrike.” He looked at me, “Cole, those counterstrikes are pretty weak to me. You’ve got to stop trying to save me, man, it’s only going to get you killed again. The next time I swung, I saw it tense up. Like it was making its body denser to grab the axe blade, so I twisted my blade in the last second. The head smacked into it like I'd done with the oozes. The blunt damage worked as long as I tricked it."
"He was awesome," Meredeath said, patting Leo on the back, "Leo hit it like a freight train, and a chunk of the guy's shoulder blew right off." I squashed my jealousy. The battle had brought the two of them together. We were a stronger team for it. It was good, right?
"What's a freight train?" Tandy asked.
Meredeath shook her head, "Not important. He hit the thing like a battering ram." Leo mimicked his overpowered swing in the background. It sounded epic.
So the monster braces for slashes, allowing a smash to deal tons of damage. But if you just flat out try to hit it with a bash, it’ll give way and let you through with no damage. I looked down at my hammer, feeling useless. I had no way to ‘trick’ it like Leo had.
“It takes more than one hit to kill a monster.” I glanced at Tandy, then asked the question we both needed answered, "How'd you stay alive long enough to figure all of this out?"
Leo pointed at Meredeath, "It's her. She's been holding out on us. Meredeath can absorb sooo much damage. She was everywhere, taking hit after hit. I've never seen anything like it."
"Yeah, I have an heirloom from my mother." Her voice dipped as her fingers brushed the amulet, like the memory of it burned. "Ironically, she was the one person who saw me. Said it fit my aesthetic. Never tried to make me into something else."
Meredeath shook her head, as though banishing the past. She said ‘was’ like her mom was gone. I wasn't going to press now, but if Meredeath stayed with us and we survived this, I would ask about her family.
"Anyway, I had no idea it was enchanted. But yeah, it absorbs a considerable amount of damage. It takes and stores 50% of any inflicted damage aimed at me. I have to... I have to release the damage later. This place is all about balance. But it's a convenient tool in a fight."
Her eyes had grown hard as she talked about "releasing the damage later." I couldn't help but wonder how that was accomplished.
"Why'd you die? Is there a limit to what it can absorb?" Tandy asked, I'm sure she wanted to file its capabilities away in her team’s list of tools.
"Not that I know of, or at least I haven't hit it yet. But," she paused and tried to hide it, but her body began to shake. She was afraid of pushing it too far. Her voice was flat as she finished saying, "The price is high. My [Analyze] skill is still low, so it hasn't told me much about the amulet."
"Then why did you die with Leo? It sounds like you were close to beating the Golgothan." Tandy was insistent.
"He died first, and there's no reason to go on without the rest of you. This exercise is a party pass or fail. My surviving the fight alone wouldn't help any of us. I already did that, and it got me here." Malyc's promise that she would be motivated to help ensure we survived together came floating back in my memory.
"So this isn't the first time you've attempted a [Trial Dungeon]?" Tandy asked quietly.
Meredeath's voice dropped to an icy note, "Yeah. My original team died. The benevolent system," her words thick with sarcasm, "gave me a month to try again with a different group. Malyc didn't tell me the Ursine Wall entrance isn't heavily trafficked. If you hadn't come along, I would have failed my contract." We all winced.
The contract we all signed was clear: Failure to attempt the [Trial Dungeon] was an ‘abandonment of duty.’ And as a magical contract, it punished those with a gruesome form of death. It's why none of us had tried running away. "My timer is just about out. There are no more [Trial Dungeon] attempts for me if we don't win collectively. This is it."
I leaned back, trying to grasp the ramifications of her revelation. On one hand, I was glad that if we failed, and Leo survived, he'd theoretically get another chance with another team. However, the stakes had grown higher. If Tandy and I didn't make it out alive, Meredeath would end up forfeiting her life, too.
"I've always thought it wrong, the penalty for not succeeding." At least dying in here wasn't considered 'abandonment of duty.'
In the end, the system didn't tolerate dropouts. Fail the [Trial Dungeon] and you die. Try and fail, you die. Don’t try at all? You die slower. Uglier.
Meredeath nodded, "Yeah, it's twisted. I don't understand it either. In my last team, we had a weaker member. He wanted to be a mage, like you, Tandy." I glanced at Tandy as we shared a look. Meredeath must have assumed since her mana was so high. "Mages are at such a disadvantage, so we tried to protect him by leaving him behind in the run. I only found a few pieces when I returned to collect him."
I imagined the root canals popping out on an unsuspecting Tandy and fighting over her body. No, thank you, we were not going to tempt that fate.
The system had internal rules about how it wanted parties to progress, and wasn't above violently enforcing them.
My eyes glazed over as they continued bantering back and forth about tactics. I already knew the truth: we were doomed. Or rather, I was doomed. I began hoping that I would die first, so I didn't have to see Tandy go down. Or watch Meredeath become a walking undead husk.
"Cole, how are your acting skills? Do you think you could... pretend to be dead? Meredeath, what do you think the average intelligence of a shit demon is?" Tandy's voice made me lift my head. She had an idea.
"Pretend to fail? Please, I can do that any day of the week." I'd been pretending to be a successful [Adventurer] all day. That hadn't gone so well. But pretending to fail? Failing would be easy. It was pretending that was hard.
My mind checked the [Party] listing, Richard still hadn't returned. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was desperately wrong with him.
I sent another mental note into the abyss, Richard, you better come back soon. We’re planning something stupid.
